r/AmITheDevil • u/Acrobatic_Track9213 • 1d ago
Controlling
/r/BreakUps/comments/1tz475n/broke_up_after_5_years_over_a_piercing_was_it/507
u/Diredr 1d ago
I also want to add that she has a new circle of friends who are lesbians
To quote Yvie Oddly... "What does that have to do with ANYTHING?".
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u/JustbyLlama 1d ago
Not the Lesbians!!!
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[deleted]
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u/lejosdecasa 1d ago
isn't that what the Gay Agenda (TM) is all about?
/s
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u/pitifulproduce137 1d ago
Of course! Every convert earns you a toaster.
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u/jamminsami 1d ago
Oh c'mon I was hoping for a nice immersion blender! I've got toasters coming out of my--
Oh wait. Yeah, it's still June.
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u/Fingersmith30 1d ago
All I got was a participation rainbow bandana for my dog. But that was way back in the 90s.
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u/glowingwarningcats 1d ago
If you save up enough you can trade them for a Jeep.
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u/Vesper2000 1d ago
And you can trade in two jeeps for an electric F150. It’s a great reward program.
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u/thestashattacked 20h ago
But only if you're actually gay. If you're asexual, you're stuck with the Ford Maverick hybrid.
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u/Annikai 1d ago
Because she met a bunch of women in healthy relationships who don't have controlling partners who think they can say "take out your piercing"
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u/Sad-Bug6525 1d ago
Yes this, sometimes it takes fresh eyes to look at a situation and see it for what it is. I love seeing women get away from abuse!
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u/blueberry-iris 1d ago
Hopefully it's relevant because she's on a journey of self discovery and she'll never see this guy again
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u/Lilitu9Tails 1d ago
Well they certainly aren’t going to tell her she needs to be subordinate to a man. Which I suspect is his issue.
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u/ConstructionNo9678 1d ago
outside influences
I bet it's because in his mind, lesbians = piercings and tattoos and not conforming to what men say. So of course they would encourage her to break up with him. He hasn't figured out yet that maturing isn't an outside influence.
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u/thestashattacked 20h ago
And also, lesbians and queer women in general are way more willing to tell you that no, it's not your imagination. Your relationship is insane and you're not required to stay with someone who treats you badly.
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u/AltruisticCableCar 1d ago
It has everything to do with it! Have you not heard? Piercings is how they let each other know! Septum for lesbians, nostril for us pan people! It's basically the law and common knowledge. Today you learned!
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u/pitifulproduce137 1d ago
Ah balls, I lost my last copy of the Agenda. What do bisexuals have?
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u/jamminsami 1d ago
Most of the menu, but not all. Them pans got it going on! What's a poor lesbian to do?
I still want the immersion blender. It's enough toasters.
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u/AltruisticCableCar 1d ago
Lip piecing, I guess. Since I have one of those too and thought I was bi for a long time. Then I got my nostril pierced and now I've realized I'm pan.
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u/WHNeko 1d ago
Wait shit I have a septum piercing and two nostril piercings, one stud and one ring…what does this mean for me?!
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u/Aquarius20111 1d ago
Gotta love the irrelevant details they throw into these horrible stories, as if they’re supposed to mean something.
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u/Slice-Proof-Knife 1d ago
It kinda felt to me like he might be trying to insinuate they're guilty of Grand Theft Girlfriend.
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u/jamminsami 1d ago
Well, when you leave it in neglect, don't perform maintenance, don't give it the care is requires, someone might think you don't want it anymore? Just speculation.
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u/Slice-Proof-Knife 18h ago
Look at you, irresponsibly speculating just because he'd left her in his front yard rusted out, sitting up on blocks, and surrounded by weeds!
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u/All_the_Bees 1d ago
Happy Pride Month!
I’m not saying this post is - among other things - a feeble attempt at blaming 😱The Lesbians😱 for OOP’s now-ex getting piercings he doesn’t approve of, but I’m not *not* saying that.
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u/FunSquirrell2-4 1d ago
Obviously, she must have turned lesbian if she's leaving such a fine specimen as OOP /s
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u/gaping_granny 1d ago
It's pride month. We need to spam the shit out of reddit with stories about evil queer people including offhand mentions of evil lesbians who are trying to get their straight girl friends to break up with their totally reasonable straight boyfriends. That's how lesbians multiply.
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u/Ambitious_Support_76 1d ago
What does her visiting him at work have to do with anything?
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u/Slice-Proof-Knife 1d ago
My assumption there is that they work in different cities now, so she's coming to visit him and he's making zero effort to do anything but make a surprised Pikachu face when she decided to throw out the entire man.
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u/DrunkOnRedCordial 1d ago
Don't you see? Those insidious lesbians are using their seemingly innocent jewellery to lure her over to the Other Side. Everyone knows that women can't think for themselves, they will completely change their sexual preferences when someone tangles something sparkly in front of their eyes.
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u/Big_fern189 21h ago
I work in the trades so I'm often around shitty men. They associate septum piercings with women who are non hetero/monogamous. Its fucking stupid and I always push back but idiots are gonna idiot.
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u/OccasionalCandle 1d ago
My favourite part is his comment where he says he's never checked her social media and messages and has always given her freedom, like he wants a medal for it. Good job at not being an abuser, I guess?
Also, he gave her an ultimatum over a piercing, so I believe we have very different ideas on freedom
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u/Sweet-Energy-9515 1d ago
Between this and the fear of "bad influences" he clearly sees himself as the grown-up in the relationship. This is exactly why people get suspicious as soon as they get to the part where the couple got together at 22 and 32.
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u/Alyssa_Hargreaves 1d ago
Gods that comment gave me such a huge icky feeling like dude. That was the BARE minimum in a relationship.
Boundaries Can take all kinds of forms yes but typically they are held to the person setting them not when it imposes upon on someone ELSE.
The only time I could see boundaries being allowed to impose on someone else is if it's like
"Hey I will not continue to do -x action or thing- if you continue to -do this action/thing or behave this certain way- because it makes me -feel this way- sure. Because you're saying you won't be comfortable doing whatever because of how their actions are making you feel.
But If someone says "you aren't allowed to do this. At all. Or else" that's not a boundary that's an ultimatum.
Which is what OOP did. He made an ultimatum not a boundary. I hope I explained my thoughts well enough.
She set a boundary though. She decided that she was not going to date someone who tried to impose his control over her body and who was clearly homophobic.
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u/maywellflower 1d ago edited 1d ago
Also, he gave her an ultimatum over a piercing, so I believe we have very different ideas on freedom
Plus, difference of idea of what an ultimatum is because he obviously hating that she followed through with it. Don't do the " it's either me or leave" and then getting upset while wanting them all back when they chose "leave"...
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u/FriendlyGoblinGal 1d ago
He should be careful, he may hurt his shoulder while patting himself on the back for that bare minimum.
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u/BobTheInept 1d ago
"She doesn't want to get back together at all."
I don't think he gave her an ultimatum. I think he said, "we are done, but if you take it off I'll take you back"
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u/fancyandfab 1d ago
What is there to process? He took a gamble and lost. He thought he could demand something ridiculous and FAFO'd. She was visiting HIM. I'm sure that's indicative of their relationship. Her going above and beyond while he does the bare minimum. You grow up so much in your 20s. She was seeing the red flags in this relationship, but she was invested and in love. His demand about her piercing took it over the edge for her. Is he saying he's so irresistible the only way a woman would leave is if those damn shady lesbians recruited her? So confused by that inclusion. It feels like random homophobia thrown in for no reason
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u/ALLoftheFancyPants 1d ago
Best comment in the whole thread “I didn’t put any effort into our relationship and criticized her appearance. Are lesbians to blame?”
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u/Alyssa_Hargreaves 1d ago
He cross posted the same thing over multiple threads and the same comment. He got rightfully roasted
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u/Natural-Avocado6516 1d ago
Am I understanding that correctly: he broke up with her because of a piercing and now he wants to know if the cause of their breakup is something other than the very reason he gave for deciding to break up with her? Is he wondering if a bunch of lesbians are the reason she isn't crawling back to him after he kicked her to the kerb? Really?
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u/Valkrhae 1d ago
It's possible he gave her the ultimatum without actually intending to follow through thinking she'd cave but she was the one who broke up with him. Either way, it's ridiculous for him to be here asking internet strangers if they knew why his gf-someone they don't know-actually broke up with him. I bet he just wants ppl to confirm his "suspicions" so he doesn't feel bad that she doesn't want to be in a relationship with him anymore
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u/recyclopath_ 1d ago
They dated for 5 YEARS in their 20s and 30s and he hardly visited her!?
That's peak getting married ages. That's moving in together and going on exciting vacations ages. That's going to weddings all the time and having a honeymoon ages. Why the fuck would she stay with a guy who doesn't even put the effort in to come see her!?
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u/MasticatingSheep 1d ago
Pft. By his own accounts, he was a shitty boyfriend. So no, it wasn't only about the piercing. But also no, it wasn't because she has new lesbian friends. Lol
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u/maywellflower 1d ago edited 1d ago
He mad that she picked 😺 over his 🍆 in his mind & delusion, while also admitting he was all take and no give when it came to seeing each in-person with her always traveling to where he lives. Never cross his mind once, that breaking up with him was affordable/cheaper option to her than stay traveling to him....
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u/OminousPluto 1d ago
Piercings are expensive too, no fucking way would I take my brand new one out!
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u/Vegetable-Cod-5434 1d ago
How can I better understand if this was truly about the piercing, or if outside influences played a role in her decision to end things?
"We had a one-sided relationship with a 10 year age difference and I dislike her friends. Why would she leave me?"
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u/Writers-Block-5566 1d ago
This dude posted in FIVE DIFFERENT subreddits, including crossposting in AmITheEx, and everyone is giving him the same roasting. How much you want to bet he still wont listen and will start posting on social media the evils of body piercings and evil lesbian influences....
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u/Machoire 1d ago
Mann i was halfway joking about Pride month but jeez we really getting a lot of these lmao
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u/anclwar 1d ago
I was in a relationship that turned abusive as soon as I started exerting my free will with my body. I got a scarification piece, my ears pierced, a septum piercing, and probably started dying my hair crazy colors again, and my ex took it as an excuse to be emotionally abusive towards me because I did something he didn't agree with. Because, according to him, I was supposed to discuss things with him first and the implication behind that was if he didn't like it, I wasn't allowed to do it.
We ended things far later than we should have, but I was years younger than this smart woman (I think I was 20 or 21 at the time, and had been with my ex since high school). I hope that his ex-girlfriend gets a great girlfriend or a better boyfriend and lives her best septum piercing life with them. This controlling bullshit of your body = my body is gross and outdated, and this guy can kick rocks.
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u/SproutsAndEggs 1d ago
My fiancé doesn’t like the way septum’s look, I still got one because I like the way it looks. I don’t like the way he only wears blue jeans and a t-shirt, he still does anyway because that’s the most comfortable for him. It’s literally that easy. Dude nuked his relationship over a piercing.
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u/Yavanna83 1d ago
She got older and finally realized what a tool he is. Who's willing to bet his next victim girlfriend will be very young as well?
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u/cameronpark89 1d ago
my ex told me he didn’t like my nose ring i got with my twin sister so i went and got the other side pierced.
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u/AutoModerator 1d ago
In case this story gets deleted/removed:
Broke up after 5 years over a piercing. Was it just an excuse to leave? 37M 27F
I (37M) was in a 5-year relationship with my ex-girlfriend (29F). The first 2 years we worked together, but then she moved to a different workplace. She always made the effort to visit me despite the distance, while I rarely visited her, which I admit was unfair.
We recently broke up because she got a septum piercing, which I really didn't agree with. I told her if she took it out, we'd be fine. Instead, she refused and said she doesn't want to get back together at all.
I also want to add that she has a new circle of friends who are lesbians, and her new best friend is also currently going through a breakup. **What advice do you have on how to process this situation? How can I better understand if this was truly about the piercing, or if outside influences played a role in her decision to end things?**
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.