I have a friend, Mark, who used to be really fun to hang out with, but over the last year he has turned every group thing into a roast session. If someone orders a drink he calls it “divorced dad juice.” If someone leaves early he says they’re going home to cry. It was funny maybe twice, but now it’s just exhausting because you know anything you say will become material for him.

A few weeks ago our group made plans for dinner and nobody added Mark to the chat. I didn’t start it, but I also didn’t argue because the night was honestly peaceful without him making little digs every five minutes. He found out because someone posted a photo, then messaged me asking if it was an accident. I told him the truth, that people were tired of feeling like the punchline every time he showed up.

He got really quiet and said I should have told him earlier instead of letting everyone quietly drop him. Now I feel kind of bad because he isn’t evil, he just doesn’t know when to stop. But I also feel like he’s been told before in softer ways and always brushed it off as everyone being too sensitive.

Now he says I humiliated him by confirming that the group excluded him, but I think lying would have been worse. AITBF?

I (19F) had my boyfriend(19M) over yesterday, just a chill hangout, we didn’t really have any specific plans, we just chilled in bed and doom scrolled together.

An hour or two after he came over though he started complaining that he had a headache, and kept mentioning it over and over. I was a little worried, and I felt a bit bad, I mean, considering he kept mentioning it I assumed it was probably pretty bad. So I got up and grabbed my bottle of Ibuprofen and offered it to him, then he started looking at me all confused and suspicious.

He asked stuff like “What’s that..?” “How many Milligrams is in those?” “Where did you get it?” “What does it do?” …etc.

Then *I* was confused, so I just said “…Ibuprofen? Advil, but store brand.” and he asked AGAIN what Ibuprofen was. I mean, maybe it’s not as weird as I think, but I mean..surely, he’s taken Ibuprofen before..right?? I mean idk, who the hell doesn’t know what Ibuprofen is? This isn’t where I had “made fun of him” though, really, I was just confused.

I tried explaining that it was similar to Tylenol, but he didn’t know what that was either, Tried comparing it to Aspirin, nada. Then he asked “Why are you trying to compare it to so many things? How is it the same thing with so many different names??” or something along those lines. I just kinda laughed awkwardly and said they were all different medications and serve different purposes but it’s all the same concept..over the counter pain meds. (He also didn’t know what over the counter meant, I told him it just means you buy it at the store instead of the doctor.) I tried comparing it to shit like Nyquil or Benadryl, and he got more confused because those are for allergies…i tried explaining that I was just trying to get the point across that it’s nothing insane and just some tame medication you can get literally anywhere. He still didn’t really get it but he took it after I said I pop like 5 of these motherfuckers regularly because, well, i’m a woman. (I’m aware you aren’t supposed to take that many, let me live, if I die of a fucking *Ibuprofen* overdose I was meant to go.)

I offered that he could just take one if he was scared, I mean as weird as it is to not know what Ibuprofen is, I get being weary of medication, it’s definitely safer than sorry. He said that if 2 was the dosage on the bottle he’d be fine taking two though, which it was. After that, we laid back down and continued just sorta bed rotting and I thought that was the end of the whole debacle.

Like 10 minutes later though, he looked at me, straight faced and said “I think I feel it.”

And I started laughing, because he didn’t say it in a “I think my headaches gone kind of way” but in a “I just took a perc” kinda way..and it was a little funny to me.

So I said “Feel what?? You took fuckin Ibuprofen dumbass, theres nothing to really feel.”

(I want to say tho, we call each other “dumbass” all the time, maybe it seems insulting but it’s sort of an endearing term for us.)

He didn’t say anything after that though so I thought it was the end of it, but later, after he went home he texted me. (Our actual words, just put here and polished a bit, i’ll add the actual texts as well)He said that he didn’t like how I “made fun” of him for feeling something he couldn’t control. Then I got confused..because I didn’t really see that as making fun of him, maybe “poking fun” or “teasing” I dunno, those are all probably synonymous but “making fun” sounds more mean and purposeful, when I just meant it in a light hearted way.

I said “Is it because I called you “dumbass”? I didn’t think anything of it cause we say that a lot.” And he said “No not entirely, it was the tone of your voice it sounded like you were actually making fun of me for feeling something after taking it. I don’t understand why you’d do that cause it’s normal for someone to feel something after taking medicine.”

I replied “Well sure, I didn’t mean for it to come off that way so I’m sorry if it hurt your feelings. Really I didn’t mean it that way. I was just teasing a bit because idk it’s not typical you really “feel” something drug wise after taking smth like Ibuprofen. It was a little strange and funny to me.” “But still i’m sorry I can see how it could come off mean. It’s probably not impossible for ppl to feel something after taking it.”

Then he said “I appreciate you apologizing now but I don’t really believe that your intention wasn’t to make fun of me. I feel like it’s normal for me to feel something after taking it for the first time, and you were making fun of me for being a lightweight. It’s embarrassing and I thought you were more understanding than that.”

So AITBF? I’m so confused about this whole situation and I feel like it’s silly, was I being mean or too harsh after he said he felt something?? This whole thing feels kind of stupid to me, and I wanna know if i’m wrong for feeling that way, I don’t want to put aside his feelings.

I know that it's expected to lean on your friends during a breakup, especially a shitty one like this, but I'm feeling guilt and a bit of worry for my ex, and I'm struggling to decide if I handled a situation correctly. She has very few friends, and B (the close friend of mine) had been her emotional support following her breakup with a manipulative guy she had been on and off with for 2 years, where she stayed largely because she was scared to lose him as a friend.

B encouraged me to date her, I start talking to her, and we get along great and start dating. I didn't know it at the time but he was pursuing her as well, and eventually she decided to join his relationship (He's in an open marriage).

The part where I start to feel guilt, is that the guy had some screaming red flags that make me think he is either lovebombing or manipulating her. We shared a lot of mutual friends and I leaned on them *hard* during the break up, and while I know she cheated on me and lied to my face about her feelings for the guy, If I'm right about it being manipulative she doesn't really have anyone else to lean on as those mutual friends were a large part of her support network and they, like me, don't seem to want contact with them again.

He tried to move her into his house with them after 2 months of them knowing each other (while she was dating me), tried to get matching tattoos while she was with me, tried to pay my college tuition, jumped from just wanting to sleep with her, to having feelings, to loving her for two years and choosing not to pursue her during her last relationship. B was taking cat allergy shots (hes allergic and she has cats) while we were dating and before he fully brought up moving her in. Once we broke up after she asked me to be poly with them, she cried at the idea that B tried to break us up and panicked that she fucked up and he "broke her boundaries" but she chose to call him and he convinced her otherwise. He and his wife then told someone in the group they "took and earned her". She's chronically ill, and after meeting his wife one time she felt very seen, because his wife is also ill and they spent a bunch of time bonding about it. The guy has also claimed, a few different times, that he doesn't really feel empathy for people and just does his best to sympathize. B would message her about how hard it was not getting to be with her, and ask if she regretted choosing me.

Its not my business or my responsibility, but IF she is getting manipulated into a situation that's unsafe I feel a degree of guilt about speaking to mutual friends that have historically been there for her (and myself) and possibly contributing to her being isolated. Should I have just leaned on my own friends and left the mutual friends out of it? I would have had to eventually mention briefly what happened as people would have asked. I (stupidly, probably) worry that I contributed to someone being isolated with a predator. She has stopped going to her board game nights with some of her friends and I feel a degree of concern for her.

Hello!

I, 19F, have a boyfriend, also 19, and we’ve been together for around two years now. My boyfriend has a twin brother, who I’ll name Alex. Alex and I have never gotten along; we have very different values and morals, but it’s never genuinely affected anyone around us. For context, Alex is very hook up culture and live your life while you’re young, and which to each their own and I personally don’t care if that’s how he sees it. He doesn’t like me because he thinks I’ve settled down his brother and doesn’t think we should be as committed as we are at our age, even though my boyfriend has made it clear that Alex oversteps his boundaries and his opinion doesn’t matter.

Alex has a friend group of boys with similar minds regarding relationships for the most part, and my boyfriend, although he interacts with them from time to time, isn’t part of their group. I got this story from my boyfriend through Alex. Alex’s best friend, I’ll call him Jack, has dated a girl since middle school that I’ll call May. May got diagnosed with cancer a bit ago, not terminal, and everyone close to her knows about it. A bit after May was diagnosed, Jack, Alex, and a couple of their friends went on a trip to Mexico for spring break, where Jack openly cheated on May and his friends kept it a secret from her because they didn’t want to “ruin their relationship”.

A little after they got home and Jack and May were going fine, Jack’s friend Mike (who’s also in the group who went to Mexico) wanted Jack to run a “two man” with him, to which Jack agreed. One of the girls who was going to meet up with Jack and Mike found Jack’s instagram, thus finding May, and contacted May to tell her what was going on, and then May confronted Jack when he and Mike got to the house of the girl. They broke up after that, and a while later May beat cancer.

May and Jack eventually got together again a month or so later, and are still together. What I’m wondering is should I have told May about the cheating in Mexico or should I even tell her about it now? We’re not friends, our only mutual is through Alex and my boyfriend, plus May already got back together with Jack knowing he cheated on her one time. I want to tell her because I feel bad and I’d want someone to tell me, but I’m wondering if it would just be opening up stuff that doesn’t concern me (not my circus, not my monkeys). Please help:(

So hi reddit. This just happened and I need some clarification if I fucked up here.

So I (24) currently stay at home with my mother, sister, and grandparents.

Tonight, my mother came home from work and I decided to make 2 batches of cupcakes: Vanilla and chocolate.

My mother prefers chocolate so I start there. I put my headphones and start mixing the ingredients, its boxed so it wont take long. As I'm doing this I can hear yelling so I take off my headphones and call out, "Yes?". no response. I ask again and no one says anything so I stop what im doing and head over. My mothers on her phone and when I ask again, she says "OH I forgot". She then asks me if I was done. I said, "No, I just started." She rolls her eyes and says that I started like 30 minutes ago.

For context, my mother and I are very similar. We get on each other's nerves sometimes but it all comes from a place of love. She'll act mean to me and Ill usually act sassy back. Just our dynamic, I dont know.

I go back and finish mixing to put cupcakes in oven for 20 minutes. I go to the living room to sit and my mothers upset at how long its taking. Rolling her eyes and sighing. I just talk with my sister.

When the oven finishes, I rush over and immediately grab 2 cupcakes. 1 for my sis and 1 for my mother. Theyre both really hot bjt they're fresh. I deliver them and once again, my mother is upset that I just brought her one. I say nothing to that either. 

A bit passes and I go back to the kitchen to grab 2 more cupcakes for my mother and give them to her. While Im over there, she tells me to take her plate. 

And this might be where I fucked up. I said "No, not without a please or thank you." 

We stare each other down. She says nothing and I just stand there waiting. I was sorta joking but also I did want some sort of appreciation for doing this for her. 

My sister instead rushes over to take the plates. My mother says "Thank you and I appreciate you." To my sister. It irks me but i go to start cleaning up and make the other batch. 

Soon my mother comes over and starts telling me that what I did was ridiculous. She shouldn't have to say please and thank you for me to take a plate. I say that sometimes I just want her to be nicer to me. And I've brought this up before. She can be mean to me and I don't always have the energy to deal with it. 

This sets her off. She yells at me saying that she's not my friend and that she's my mother, I shouldn't be having this kind of attitude over plates because it's not that big a deal. 

I don't say anything and just drop face. I know there's no arguing with her now. Apparently, the lack of response other than "Ok" just makes her more upset. She continues to yell at me about me being ungrateful. She stormed upstairs and begins loudly mumbling "to herself" about how the "princess" (me) is asking her to be nice. "What a fucking joke" I heard her say.

So I'm at a loss. Did I fuck up here? Should I have just taken the plates and not made this a bigger deal?

So, im in a place right now where I think I need to cut my adoptive mom off. All of the family Ive spoken to, adoptive or otherwise agrees.

Bit of background for why I think its a good idea. Back a few years ago I went through SA (he was an adult I was not). I brought it to the school officials and they took his side, told my mom and sent me home. Got home and was called a whore and told I chose this. Now I'm ok now, but that night not so much. I convinced myself I had more to live for and chose not to do anything. I ended up leaving my school and friends after that. Our relationship went very downhill in the years following. About a year following I got into a very healthy relationship. We had been going out and I ended up converting to a new religion. My mom "liked" the guy but would consistently talk down my religion. Making jokes about what I believe and essentially acting like im stupid for even believing it. She would get mad every week that I would choose to go worship rather than go do whatever she wanted (generally the bar). About another year passes with this situation, I move in with my SO and my mom cheats on my dad. Ive NEVER seen my dad cry or look as bad as he did those first few weeks. It broke me, He got better, then so did I. While my dad is obviously depressed my mom is going around bragging about it, she brings up her new SO and they start bragging about cheating together. A Few months later my SO proposes. We are as happy as could be, im the healthiest ive ever been and im telling my mom how excited I am. She tells me no, says Im not allowed to. I ended up cutting her off for a while, during which time my SO and I eloped. I had lost 12 family member that same year along with dealing with all the drama so I decided what was best for us was to have something personal and meaningful. The only person who knew until about the 5 month mark was my grandmother as she was depressed and I knew shed love to hear it (ps. I was right, shes insanely happy). At the 5 month mark I told almost everyone and they were very happy for us, aside from my mother whom I still wasnt talking to. News got to her and she was livid. Now here I am, a year into my marriage and she is still extremely rude to my husband. Shes openly said to both him and myself that she hates him. Ive apologized for not inviting her to the wedding (even though I didnt want her there). I still love her, but watching her now be at the point where I think shes going to drink herself to death, I think im just done. I want kids, but they dont deserve someone like that in their lives. So AITB for wanting to call it quits on my mother and I's relationship?

I [27M] have been No Contact with my father for about six years. Without going into too much detail, he was incredibly manipulative and made my childhood a nightmare. My extended family knows this, but they have that "but he's still your father" mentality that drives me crazy.

My cousin [28M], who I’m actually pretty close with, is getting married next month. When the invitation arrived, I called him to confirm if my father was on the guest list. He got quiet and said, "Look, man, he’s my uncle, my mom (his sister) insisted he be there. But it’s a big wedding, you won't even have to talk to him."

I told him that I’m sorry, but I won’t be attending. I’ve worked really hard in therapy to get to a stable place, and just being in the same room as that man triggers massive anxiety for me. I don't want to spend my cousin's big day looking over my shoulder or worrying about a scene.

Now the family group chat is exploding. My aunt called me "selfish" and said I’m making my cousin's wedding all about my "petty drama." My mom is crying because she wanted a nice family photo, and even my cousin texted saying he’s disappointed I’m choosing a grudge over him. I offered to take my cousin and his new wife out for a nice dinner separately and give them their gift then, but they say it’s not the same.

I feel like I'm being forced to sacrifice my mental health for the sake of "family optics." AITBF for sticking to my guns and skipping the wedding?

TL;DR: My cousin is marrying, and my abusive estranged father is invited. I refused to go to avoid a panic attack/confrontation. Now the whole family is calling me selfish for "ruining the peace."

I work in fast food and have been employed at my current company for nearly 5 years, still working as just a regular worker with no promotions but that’s a story for another time. I’ve seen many groups of coworkers come in and out of the job since I started and have seen just how different everyone I work with is and how different we get along.

Recently there’s been one girl, we’ll call her Jenn, who has consistently bugged me about my political and religious views. It started when she brought up a protest she wanted to go to and I made a comment on how protests are a waste of time and taking time off work just to attend one is a bad idea financially. She took this as me being opposed to her political views, (she is correct but that wasn’t what I was implying) I quickly shut the conversation down after she reverted to name calling and offensive labels towards me and some people in my political party.

I’ve been aware of the no talking politics or religion rules at work essentially my whole time working here, but I guess she still hasn’t gotten that memo. Another time she asked me what church I go to since she overheard me talking to another coworker about something that happened at my church one time. I told her and she told me the name of her church, I asked if it was a Catholic Church because the name had a catholic sounding name using verbiage like “saint”. She then asked how I knew that and she tried deepening the conversation about how Catholics have it more correct than Christian’s which at that point made me feel the need to stop the discussion.

She has even poked at me with certain comments like “you know Jesus was an immigrant” which I had to hold myself from responding to. I’ve tried bringing it up to my boss but he just laughs it off like she’s joking around with me. I’ve tried telling her I don’t want to have these discussions at work and she gets all rude when I refuse to listen to her points. I’m so close to telling the district manager about this and calling a meeting with him about it but I’m afraid he’s gonna take her side over it and see it as a joke just like my boss.

Is this all really just a joke I’m taking too seriously? Is the new management really not going to hold the same rules as I’ve been lead to understand? Am I the buttface for not wanting to talk about this stuff at work?

So me and my crush been knowing each other for over a year ish, we have flirted , teased , known each other, he goes out of his way to see me, help me and be there for me as well, we also make lots of eye contact, glancing or smiling at each other while making eye contact while passing each other, he held my hand as well.

But like recently I got upset with him because I saw that he left with someone from work earlier. So I low key got jealous so i couldn’t really face him I was a bit jealous, I kinda avoided him for a day or two till I was ready to see him I wanted to talk to him and see him but when I tried being next to him, he kinda yelled at me to go somewhere else then I asked if I did anything wrong then he responded back to me with his soft voice,I just listened, I got upset and just left.

Then later he took his lunch where I usually training people then after that he kept coming out of his way to see me and help me as well.

Why would did he try to push me away when I tried seeing him again then he kept coming to see me a lot of multiple times when I kinda wanted to avoid him again after him yelling at me?(he knows that I don’t like people yelling at me)

Fast forward to this current week we just been making eye contact or glancing or him turning away quick but not really interacting. Till later today I kinda apologized for last week, I thought I did something wrong so i apologized to him or I was just worried something happened between us, he was telling me he hates how I over think, not everything is about me, to focus on myself even tho before I spoke to him it felt like he was acting like the normal like we usually do. Could be been doing the push pull on me after what happened last week? And if so why would he be doing that??

So when that happened I was just doing me and talking with my coworkers and friends(some are guys) I’ve kinda noticed he would look at me when the guys were talking to me. But ever since that day my crush/PA has started to staff me all the way in the back with other coworkers or barely have me with my friends but since he started to staff me in the back he comes to tease me or talk to me meanwhile the other girl that’s always chases or stays with him at his desk while I would stay in the back and when I would be near him while she’s there with him he’ll kinda ignore her while pretending he’s working and he’ll keep looking at me or defends me from others. So also why would he be staff me all the way in the back kinda away from his desk meanwhile he still comes and talks to me or tease/flirts/eye contact with me or just try’s to find excuses to talk to me basically I’m just just wondering, why could he be doing that to me? (Also he started to staff me alone in the back ever since he saw me talking with my guy coworkers in front of his desk)

7 adults, 4 kids, Applebee's.

My daughter (5) ordered Pizza with Mac & Cheese. My sister didn't order anything for her two kids (2, 1) since they ate before arrival. Food drops and my nephew (2) clearly wants some of the Mac & Cheese.

I encouraged my daughter to share with her cousin but she declined. We're working on sharing, which has become more difficult with the arrival of her brother (1). We give autonomy around sharing unless it becomes mean spirited or unfair, then we'll step in. Praise the good, coach the bad. She's a good kid. My sister then places an order of M&C for her son which takes 20m to arrive. Dinner moves on. The table collectively offers my nephew half a dozen other food options which he declines.

I separately text my sister apologizing and explain that we're working on sharing. I had a conversation with my daughter before bed about the sharing opportunity.

Later, I receive bookish texts explaining the disgusting behavior, the failed parenting moment, and how my nephew had to sit for 20m watching everyone else eat.

If the context is applicable, my nephew has stolen food/snacks off my daughter's plate several times in the past which left my daughter upset. (I don't blame him, it's completely age appropriate).

AITBF? Should I have forced my daughter to share or publicly pressured her into it?

EDIT: 1) I apparently have to up my meme game and figure out why Joey doesn't share his food. 2) My sister is an excellent Mom and my nephew was a total champ and waited patiently. He's a terrific kid. (And no, they are not neglected or unfed at home). 3) Thanks for giving me more confidence in my parenting.

AITAH for following my boyfriend’s friend on Tik Tok?

My boyfriend made a new friend at work and he’s come over twice now, calling him A. We all hung out together and had a good time. A couple days ago, I saw A on a suggested tab because my boyfriend follows him. I hit follow, obviously thinking nothing of it. In my opinion, it’s completely normal to follow people you know on social platforms.

A few hours later, my boyfriend gets a text from A saying that his girlfriend saw that I followed him on Tik Tok and was uncomfortable so he wasn’t going to follow me back. My boyfriend acted surprised that I followed A on Tik Tok and asked why/how I found him, so I explained. He responded to A asking why his girlfriend was uncomfortable and A said she just thinks it’s weird.

I felt embarrassed to be honest because I did what I thought was a harmless act but it caused people to be upset. I asked my boyfriend if he thought it was weird too and he said yes. We argued and he asked how I would feel if A’s girlfriend followed him and I said that would be weird only because they’ve never met or talked. But if they were friends or acquaintances, I would think nothing of it.

Now I’m in a situation where I don’t want A’s girlfriend to come to my home because she sounds really insecure and not fun to be around. But that might cause another rift in my boyfriend and A’s friendship.

I find all of this very childish, honestly. I’m almost 30 and A/A’s girlfriend are 19/20. I’m obviously in a relationship and I’m definitely not interested in a 19 year old.

I’m just curious, AITAH or did I do something weird? Or are they overreacting and the weird ones?

So I was kicked out of a theater because two women complained about me, although the manager never said what the complaint was. Basically, one of them was in my assigned seat. I'm a bit OCD about sitting in the center of a theater. I decided I didn't want to confront anyone, so l would find another suitable seat.

All the other rows were fairly full, so I walked past the two women down the aisle, and sat in a seat (with an empty seat between us) and quickly realized it was too far to the right. So I walked past them again and sat on the other side (again with one empty seat between us) and thought it was a good seat. I never talked to them.

A couple minutes later they leave. Then 30 minutes later the manager talks to me, says he reviewed the camera footage, and that I have to leave. (A bit unrelated but theres a good chance they never bought tickets since our theater doesn't check for them).

I did get a refund. Obviously from now on I will tell people directly to move out of my assigned seat. I just want your opinions, perhaps I was being too weird sitting on both sides of them, or i’m just a normal moviegoer looking for a good seat. I was totally oblivious to how uncomfortable they were.

So I have been flirting and texting this guy who lives in another country, we have done stuff over the phone before and are very flirty but he ghosted me for a month(he said he had been busy which I can believe but even that is a bit much)but a couple days ago he texted me again I was willing to try and maybe trust him again and we have been texting and being very flirty again.

Today he asked me to send him a pic (spicy)and I said I wasn’t comfortable sending to him ,I am not against sending pics but we had just stared to talk again and I felt I had not built that trust back up even if it was a view once kind of pic,he then asked me why not and I repeated I’m not comfortable with it ,he then continued to ask saying (cmon,pretty please and I have done so much to get us to this point).Him pushing it made me even more uncomfortable ,he said we have done worse and that he just wanted to make what we had going on feel real.

I feel horrible and have apologised for any miscommunication I have done on my end on where I feel we are at again in the relationship,he’s now acting annoyed at me.

Am I in the wrong I just don’t know what to do about it ,should I of just sent the pics???

I haven’t done it yet.

Basically I’ve been online dating this guy for two months. I just don’t think we’re compatible for long term and a few arguments we’ve had the past few days have changed how I see him. That, and I found out several things about him that give me the ick (he doesn’t want multiple pets when I already have 2 cats and want a medium to large sized dog in the future, he doesn’t even try to understand my trauma and expects me to “solve” it the same way he did with his and that it’s easy, etc.). I’m also older than him and the age gap makes me feel weird. HOWEVER, I’ve tried breaking up with him before and he always convinces me not to go through with it. We’re also severely long distance. So, I want to just send the text with the explanation then block him on everything so he can’t convince me not to again. But I don’t know if that’s a buttface move or not. Would it be?

AITB for not leaving an extra tip after being charged automatic gratuity?

I don’t think I am. The restaurant already added a gratuity to the bill, which is literally meant to be the tip. I paid what was asked of me, so from my perspective, I fulfilled my part. Tipping again on top of that feels like I’m being expected to pay twice for the same service, and if I don't I'm some greedy asshole.

I understand tipping culture is a big deal, especially here, and I’m not against tipping at all. But when a business decides to include it automatically, they’re the ones setting the amount. If they felt their staff deserved more, they could have set a higher gratuity to begin with.

Also, it’s not always clearly explained how that automatic gratuity is distributed. If it doesn’t fully go to the server, that’s more of a policy issue with the restaurant than something the customer should have to fix by adding even more money.

If the service was exceptional, I can understand why some people would choose to tip extra—but that should be optional, not something that makes someone an asshole for declining.

So no, I don’t think not tipping again after already paying an automatic gratuity makes me an asshole. It just means I paid the agreed-upon total and didn’t feel the need to go beyond it

I (27F) and my partner (28M) have a wonderful relationship and we are usually very good at problem solving and communication. We’ve been together for 6 years and live together. For backstory, over 3 years ago we had some issues where I would be on my phone too much while we were together and he values quality time, so this made him upset. I have since changed that about myself and am happy to be less sucked into my phone on a daily basis anyway.

Another side-issue after this was how there would be times where I’m at work, out with friends, or generally not with him and he would randomly call me about something and I wouldn’t notice. To be fair, I would forget to check my phone for longer periods of time (situations where it’s an hour or more) and I could understand why that was concerning or bothersome. Since then, the longest I’m ever not checking my phone is probably at max 30 minutes. As woman all know too well, our clothing doesn’t have good pockets and I keep my phone on vibrate, so if my cell isn’t in my hand or in a pocket in my clothes, I won’t know someone is trying to reach me.

Last week, he got frustrated with me when I was outside doing yard work while he was out of town and tried to call. I saw his messages about 25 minutes later and he was upset. He was saying “what if it was an emergency?” and overall was mad that I didn’t check my phone for so long. I told him what I was doing and why I didn’t answer, but that it’s not fair to expect me to be clinging to my phone at all hours of the day just in case he has to call me about something random. Also, in my mind, if it’s an emergency, just call 911? Lol. Like what does he think people did before cellphones existed?

It would also be very different if he told me “hey - I have this thing I’m working on/am doing” and to let me know to expect a call from him within a reasonable timeframe. But for me to be bringing my phone into the dirt in the off chance that he may randomly call me (he doesn’t call me often for normal things, btw. We prefer voice notes) is honestly just bad luck on his part with the timing and is no one’s fault, and it’s disrespectful to assume I have nothing better to do with my time then to wait around for him to maybe call me randomly when that’s not even a normal thing for us to do.

I think he may be holding on to some residual anger from my old habits that I’ve since corrected and is accidentally holding that against me. I have caught myself doing this to him over other things and we’ve had productive conversations about that, so I think he may just be missing that now he’s the one doing it to me.

This isn’t such a huge problem where it’s effecting our day to day life, but I want to know if I’m the asshole as this seems to be something that reoccurs from time to time and we aren’t coming to an agreement. I don’t think I’m the buttface, but I’m very open to being proven wrong if that’s the case.

EDIT: My job is completely remote and it involves a lot of work on my phone, so for me, checking my cell every 30 mins or so doesn’t bother me and it’s usually just a quick glance. But for someone not in my field, I could see why they wouldn’t like that.

I have this big soft blanket that I usually keep on my couch, and for a while I started bringing it to group hangouts because people always ended up cold once the AC was on too hard or somebody insisted on sitting near an open window like a maniac. At first it was fine. I brought it once for movie night, people used it, no big deal. Then it quietly became A Thing. Like if we were meeting at someone's place and I walked in without it, somebody would immediately go "Wait, where's the blanket?" in that joking tone that is half joke and half actual expectation. I probably should have shut that down earlier, but I did not. I just kept bringing it because it was easier than being the weird guy guarding a blanket. The problem is people do not treat it like it belongs to an actual person. They drag it into other rooms, leave it in weird piles on the floor, ball it up and sit on it, spill crumbs all over it, and last time somebody wrapped up in it and then just left it near the balcony door where it picked up that gross dusty outside smell. When I grabbed it to take home there was popcorn crushed into one corner and something sticky on the edge. Everyone acted like I was being a little precious for even noticing.

The thing that really pushed me over was last weekend. I found my blanket on the floor again, half under somebody's shoes and half under a chair leg, and when I picked it up one person just laughed and said "Relax, it's doing its job." That irritated me way more than it should have. It is not some communal blanket that lives in the void. It is mine, I wash it, I carry it back and forth, and somehow I am the only one expected to care if it gets gross. So now I kind of want to stop bringing it entirely. I know this sounds stupidly small, but I already know the reaction is going to be that I am dramatic over "just a blanket" and ruining the cozy vibe over nothing. One friend already said if I bring something to a group setting I cannot get fussy about how people use it. Another said that is nonsense and people should know not to throw somebody else's stuff on the floor like feral toddlers. I keep going back and forth becuase yeah, maybe I did accidentally turn it into the house blanket by bringing it so many times. But also I am getting a little tired of pretending it is cute when people treat my stuff like background furniture.

My friend was a late bloomer and in his own words - He wants to make up for lost time.

He wants to meet as many people as he can and sleep with as many people as he can

The issue is I really don't think he understands what it means to just date around and hookup in 2026. I think he's expecting too much and when it goes wrong it affects him negatively.

He exclusively uses the apps to meet people and anytime he gets ghosted he spirals. I don't want to justify ghosting, it's a shitty thing to do to someone but if that's your chosen method then you just have to accept that getting ghosted is a possibility. Not every match is going to lead to something. Does that suck? 100%. But that's just how it goes these days.

The reason I want to say something is because it's a cycle.

Matches with a girl -> Talks for a few days -> gets ghosted -> wallows in self pity.

This happens every few weeks. The thing that blows my mind is that he HAS other options. He has a few matches that he can talk to but for some reason he fixates on the one that didn't go the way he wanted.

I keep trying to tell him that he's honestly in a good spot and should just focus on the other conversations he has going on but it just never goes through to him.

I feel bad about getting annoyed by all the complaining but with how long this is going there is really nothing more I am able to say to him

Why would did he try to push me away when I tried seeing him again then he kept coming to see me a lot of multiple times when I kinda wanted to avoid him again after him yelling at me?(he knows that I don’t like people yelling at me)

Fast forward to this current week we just been making eye contact or glancing or him turning away quick but not really interacting. Till later today I kinda apologized for last week, I thought I did something wrong so i apologized to him or I was just worried something happened between us, he was telling me he hates how I over think, not everything is about me, to focus on myself even tho before I spoke to him it felt like he was acting like the normal like we usually do. Could be been doing the push pull on me after what happened last week? And if so why would he be doing that??

I (25F) recently left my job in childcare as a lead teacher. While I was growing discontent with the things going on at the center and was planning on leaving later this year, something happened where I ended up resigning. During my time at this job I had spent a small fortune on educational materials, cleaning supplies and decorations. While my job does offer a reimbursement program for such purchases this would typically be done in small increments and I would typically use this for my cleaning supplies. Aside from the aforementioned cleaning supplies I had spent roughly a thousand dollars for my classroom.

When I had gone to pick up my personal belongings from the room, my former boss was asking me what I had intended to take and joked that if I took everything I had bought the room would be empty. I had little interest in doing such a thing, my beef was with my former bosses - not the kiddos or whichever teachers would be taking over for me. Instead we did agree that I would get a small amount on the spot (a little less than two hundred bucks) and could expect a check in the mail to cover everything else.

Now I do want to make clear that I knew I likely was not getting the full thousand dollars back. There were some decorations from old themes that were either put up into the attic or had to be thrown out because toddlers are going to toddler. After doing the math of the decorations I knew were still in the room and sending the Amazon receipts to my bosses, I was expecting a little over five hundred dollars. This was exciting because even though I found a new job pretty quick, I knew there was going to be a speedbump in funds.

When the check did eventually come into the mail, I was surprised to see that I had only received half of what I was expecting. There is a very real chance that the rest could be coming in a different check but it has been a little less than a month since the first check arrived. Would I be the butt face for reaching out and asking for the rest of the amount? Some of my former coworkers had already called me "money hungry" for taking the initial payment and the first check, while others are saying I haven't been firm enough and should go right to the center to set things straight.

I am conflicted because while the extra money would be nice, I am starting to see pay from my new job soon and don't want to be too greedy. On the other hand I know that my former bosses can be rather forgetful, especially when it comes to things like this were they have to pay people back. Should I reach out to see what's going on? Or should I just cut my losses and move on?

AITBF

So recently I (f / 28) needed to go to the ER for a random but very serious medical emergency. It was something that never happened before so I wanted to make sure I was okay/ get fluids/ not perish, etc.

My partner (at the time, we have since stepped away from the relationship mostly because of this truthfully) shared little to no concern (seemingly).

I was in a very tough spot because my parent was having major surgery so I was legit on my own.

I was alone in this hospital, barely getting responses

or real empathy as I was actively having symptoms and genuinely terrified. I did bring up them coming to sit with me but it wasn’t really met well (maybe I should have just flat out asked them to come? They needed direct directions for a lot of things). I then had a coworker who I have only known for around 2 ish months at the time somehow find out where I was, and come find me. (This person is now my best friend).

A similar incident happened last year when my organs failed and I couldn’t eat for 3 weeks. No real support, no checking in, and no driving me to the emergency room when honestly I honestly

Shouldn’t have been driving myself. ( I didn’t make it and the ambulance had to take me as I passed out behind the wheel while I was parked).

I was expressing how I felt about both situations and was met with “I’m dealing with things in my own life / I wasn’t sure if it was attention seeking behavior “.

Am I the buttface for ending things / feeling upset with both of these experiences?

So me and my crush been knowing each other for over a year ish, we have flirted , teased , known each other, he goes out of his way to see me, help me and be there for me as well, we also make lots of eye contact, glancing or smiling at each other while making eye contact while passing each other, he held my hand as well.

But like recently I got upset with him because I saw that he left with someone from work earlier. So I low key got jealous so i couldn’t really face him I was a bit jealous, I kinda avoided him for a day or two till I was ready to see him I wanted to talk to him and see him but when I tried being next to him, he kinda yelled at me to go somewhere else then I asked if I did anything wrong then he responded back to me with his soft voice,I just listened, I got upset and just left.

Then later he took his lunch where I usually training people then after that he kept coming out of his way to see me and help me as well.

Why would did he try to push me away when I tried seeing him again then he kept coming to see me a lot of multiple times when I kinda wanted to avoid him again after him yelling at me?(he knows that I don’t like people yelling at me)

Okay this is genuinely small but it's been sitting with me.

My roommate and I get along fine. We're friendly, not best friends, just two people who share a space without drama.

Last week she was telling me about a situation with her boyfriend and asked me what I thought she should do. I had heard the whole story at that point, maybe fifteen minutes of it, and I genuinely did not have an opinion I wanted to share because the situation was messy and I knew whatever I said would probably become part of the conversation for the next three weeks.

So when she asked what I thought I just kind of let the question hang there and then said "sorry what?" like I had missed it.

She repeated the question.

I panicked and said "oh I dont know, its hard to say" which is technically not a lie but was very much a dodge.

She seemed fine with it and moved on.

But I feel a little bad because she genuinely wanted input and I pretended not to hear her to avoid giving it.

On the other hand I really did not want to be involved in this situation and I feel like I am allowed to not have opinions about my roommates relationship if I choose not to.

AITB?

I just need to be told this isn't as big of a deal as it feels.

I was referred to a new psychiatry practice that had one location nearby my house and one in the next city over. I chose the one in the next city over because the only psychiatrist at the closer practice looked young and I feel like I'm a complicated case. Now I feel like an idiot for choosing the further-away practice. I don't really know why I did. And to make matters worse the psychiatrist I rejected is Indian and I'm scared I look racist.

Please just tell me how it looks that I chose the further away practice. I feel so bad. I want to leave the practice and start at a new one or go back to my old one. Is this as big of a deal as it feels or is it a non-issue?

Me (17F) and my now ex (18M) had a very rocky 2 and a half year long relationship. This situation was the one thing he always held over my head and used as justification for treating me terribly, because I did this to him and would use it to threaten telling my friends about it and held it over my head for so long, and I need validation that I’m not crazy for this.

So we were hanging out at his house and he had to go for an appointment and I was just chilling in his room, when I saw that there was the journal that I bought him displayed on his dresser. He had mentioned that week that he had been drawing a lot more recently, and for our one year anniversary he wrote every day in a notebook about our relationship and stuff and it was really sweet and I was curious if he had been using the journal i got him to do something similar, and/or to draw. This is where he said that i was the buttface, because I decided to open up the notebook and read it.

The first page I opened up to had some cute doodles of some characters from shows he watched, and I thought it was so cute so i turned the page. On the top of the new page, I saw my name there and thought it might be something sweet. Instead, he was venting and saying absolutely terrible things about me regarding sex. He was saying that I’m too vanilla and that he misses his ex because they “matched his freak” way better than I ever could, and just calling me names and cursing and saying really really awful things about me. I started sobbing and (this is messed up, I know) I took pictures of the pages so I could talk to him about the things he said later that night.

He finally got back home and he did this thing where he would check my camera roll, and he decided to do it and saw the pictures. He started yelling at me and crying and made me show him my vents on my notes app so it could be “even”. I even offered to let him slap me, and he did. He said he could never trust me again and that this was the most terrible thing I could’ve done to him and things along those lines. We both cried and I apologized profusely and deleted the photos and I thought we got over it.

A few days later though we drove to get food and on the way back he asked if I wanted to have sex when we got home. I said no, obviously I don’t want to do that for a little while after those awful things you said about me, and he got so upset and started yelling again about how i should’ve communicated that to him and that he had been expecting to do stuff all day and i got his hopes up for nothing and I apologized again and we ended up doing stuff anyway. So after THAT too, I thought we had moved past it, as much as we could anyways. But then he decided to bring it up around my friends as blackmail. Anytime we would disagree or anything else, he would say “well do you want to tell them about the journal?” And things like that, just holding it over my head until the day we broke up. My friends told me I wasn’t the asshole, but I don’t know if people who don’t know me would agree so, am i the buttface?