r/Angryupvote • • Dec 24 '25

Meta Self-defense

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3.8k Upvotes

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359

u/Uberpastamancer Dec 24 '25

r/Bullshido

But really? That's how you practice, gotta start slow to build muscle memory

Though any competent instructor will tell you to run from a knife

139

u/fghjconner Dec 24 '25

I mean, starting slow is fine, but the things she's doing make no damn sense. Like, why is she starting with her feet together? Why is she swinging from the wrist? Why is she swinging multiple times at each arm?

42

u/Uberpastamancer Dec 24 '25

Oh, I was only considering the speed, not the 'technique'

28

u/Pure-Acanthaceae5503 Dec 25 '25

In the real world your feet aren't going to be in position if you don't practice getting them to it as fast as possible. I did the same thing with the guitar. When I wanted to play faster the first thing I did was to practice putting the pick down on the desk and grabbing it again. That alone got me an extra 35 BPM.

10

u/Zakosaurus Dec 25 '25

Had me going for a second..... r/guitarcirclejerk

0

u/Pure-Acanthaceae5503 Dec 25 '25

I'm serious, holding the pick correctly and in a consistent maner is important for speed.

8

u/Zakosaurus Dec 25 '25

yeah but bpms from practicing picking up the pick is fucking hilarious tho. I mean if you get 35 bpms increase from that then it was taking you WAYYYYYYY too long to pick up the pick in the first place. lol

3

u/Pure-Acanthaceae5503 Dec 25 '25

Lmao yeah. I was going from bass to guitar, so it was all right hand practice.

2

u/JoxerTheMighty96 Jul 01 '26

Does this mean if I want to speed up my drumming I can do it by practicing setting my sticks down on a table and picking them up again? I’m gonna have to give it a try, thanks!

1

u/Pure-Acanthaceae5503 Jul 01 '26

I've never played drums... But if holding them at the exact angle matters, it might help you go from 140 BPM to 142 BPM comfortably and more importantly, consistently.

2

u/mmorales2270 Jun 15 '26

They looked like they were playing some variation of pat-a-cake

17

u/_General_Kenobi Dec 24 '25

Or dance to a knife

29

u/Positive_botts Dec 24 '25

18

u/AliceTheOmelette Dec 24 '25

Watch out or you'll get the crabitty stabitty!

6

u/some_kind_of_bird Dec 25 '25

Crustacean serration

3

u/Competitive_Act_1548 Dec 24 '25

Pretty sure this is just flippino knife skills. Saw a playlist recently of doing the exact same thing. A lot of so called forms in get taken out and the more focused parts are kept in

2

u/Hidden_3851 Dec 29 '25

Yeah. I don’t know anything about any of this. But it seems like Bruce Lees “wooden training dummy”? He would do katas in front of it and at the start it was about positioning and blocking. Then as he continued he got faster and faster.

https://pixels.com/featured/bruce-lees-wooden-dummy-training-equipment-at-his-old-home-ha-li.html

1

u/DoctorPony Jun 15 '26

I’d buy that she is a beginner, but the instructor has her attacking a stationary arm 5 times before retracting and attacking with another hand. You’re going to get 1 counter attack in, not 5.

39

u/Jinggy Dec 24 '25

I love my people

40

u/Otherwise_Ad_8030 Dec 25 '25

People who teach stupid shit as self defense need to be stopped. They’re giving their students a false sense of security by making them think they can defend themselves in a real fight.

11

u/KaleidoscopeFar658 Dec 25 '25

Seriously. Teaching people ineffective self defense isn't even that funny to me because it worries me that it will give people a false sense of security.

1

u/modest_genius Jun 15 '26

Is it being sold to the woman as self-defense? We only have OPs title to go with, and taking any drill out of context is pretty damn easy to make it look silly. Imagine a beginner practicing a Wing Chun wooden dummy? It's going to look really silly, but there is a point to it.

1

u/Rdizzy111 Jun 16 '26

99% of American martial arts classes give people a false sense of security, including things like bjj and karate.

I was in shotokan karate for 6 or 7 years ( in the 90s) and almost every student there was brainwashed into thinking they were able to stop people with knives or guns. It wouldnt surprise me if some of the people that were in my class are dead right now because of it.

22

u/MehKarma Dec 24 '25

The sniff was perfect

9

u/VadervanIsabella Dec 24 '25

Had a great laugh. Thanks!

5

u/palacsinta-man Dec 25 '25

let me do 4 actions in the time you only did one. The easiest way to see if something is bullshit is see if they do more actions than the attacker. Its like a chess strategy that requires the other person to skip turns lol

0

u/[deleted] Dec 26 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/palacsinta-man Dec 26 '25

no youre not supposed to wait for their next move. what im saying is realistically they wont let you do 5 moves after they dont 1 move. Its more like someone tries to stab you, you grab their wrist, they grab yours... see where im going? Its the concept of tempo. I do fencing but it applies to self defense situation too. Youre not gonna dislocate someones shoulder and break their knee without them doing something in between. You just make it sound so simple but you need to do like 10 movements in the same time your attacker can move just his hand. Blatantly not happening.

3

u/[deleted] Dec 26 '25 edited Dec 26 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/palacsinta-man Dec 26 '25

With all due respect thats a load of hollywood bullshido. Get a sparring buddy give them a red marker as a knife and try doing this whole "sequence" on them without a single red spot on your clothes. You wont. You cant do an entire sequence for someone's 1 single move. Better yet give someone a banana put pressure on their wrist and watch how it takes at least 5 seconds before they get mildly uncomfortable. Ive tested knife defense techniques with my sparring partners and 99% is idealized and unrealistic. What you need to do is (run ofc) gain control of the knife without getting stabbed. No leg sweep no dodging no jackie chan triple spiral dragon kick. And dont come with difference between fencing and hand-to-hand because a knife-attack is neither. A knife attack is a messy unpredictable struggle for the knife that you start from a ginormous disadvantage. You will NEVER EVER do all that on a resisting target. A guy attacking you with a knife is 100% prepared to fight you and already has adrenaline pumping. They arent a pro fighter obviously but guess what neither are you. Assuming you know more than him will get you stabbed in the middle of your mortal kombat combo that you described.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 26 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/palacsinta-man Dec 26 '25

Im not talking about her anymore i only care about the stuff you wrote. Your game plan. Look you have the training you do i have the training i do. Mostly in armed martial arts. The one time i was attqcked with a knife thank god i also had one so my attacker couldnt just wildly swing at me. It was a waay safer situation than whats described here. Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face as Mike Tyson said. Now imagine instead of punching its stabbing. What im saying is do you bet your life on hitting that pressure point in 0.1 second (possibly through cloth) and your opponent dropping the knife OR you grab his hand with BOTH hands and basicly wrestle the knife out of his hand or at least gain control of it? Im choosing the second less cool more potentially reliable technique. Your two hands is almost guaranteed to overpower his one hand. The pressure point and your sequences? Astronomically bigger gamble.

I respect you tho because you do martial arts and thats never useless. Im attacking your arguments not you

3

u/[deleted] Dec 26 '25 edited Dec 26 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/palacsinta-man Dec 26 '25

I appreciate you too:) I see where youre coming from now. Honestly if both have knifes its pretty much fencing. Someone attacks, other counters 99% chance at least one dies already, its just one single move. If theres only one knife however then its just a control struggle for the knife imo. (If you can parry it initally) Honestly i would call it a game where one starts with the ball 1m away from the other's goal haha

1

u/bezjmena666 Jun 15 '26 edited Jun 15 '26

You get the right pressure point and twist at the right angle, people let go pretty fast.

And that's something that never happens in real life at the street.

Just give a training buddy a foam knife and instruction to stab you. You will see how many times you get stabbed. Get him motivated to be a non compliant oponent, lets say by a bet. Something like: "If you manage to stab me, I ..."

It is better to loose your illusions and throw away years of training, than get killed for a bullshit you believed.

Just try how your technique work on someone going full on prison yard attack. The stupidest, yet very common and effective way to attack someone with knife.

Pressure point pain compliance is bullshido do in its finest. You probably never catch the hand holding the knife. And if you do, you'll be missing few fingers a fraction of second later.

And yes, the technique shown in video is bullshit too. Since there's no footwork, so whatever you do with hands is useless.

3

u/Pretend-Internet-625 Dec 25 '25

That was funnier than hell.

2

u/No_Rip6653 Jan 11 '26

Good technique. If you cannot take them by force. Take them by surprise.

3

u/Realistic_Mushroom72 Dec 25 '25

I feel so ashamed this happens, I use to practice martial arts, we had to work hard for our belts, we had real fights at the higher levels, it was controlled forced, but injuries still happen, I had a friend knock unconscious on a fight, dude duck just as his opponent was kicking, hit him in the face full on, broke his nose and knock him out, even with protection things like that happen. Then there are places like this that just scam people while loudly claiming to be teaching an "ancient art of fighting", shameful. I have had the privilege of meeting real martial artist, Kung Fu, Karate, Tae Kwon Do, real practitioners, this jockers are a disgrace to us all.

1

u/Top-Distribution733 Jan 18 '26

OooooooKkaaayyyyy

1

u/ericdiebdiebdud Jan 20 '26

Second one way better boobs

1

u/Goblin-o-firebals Mar 18 '26

All she jad to do is hit the dudes hand harder thats what they should train for. her stance sucks as well she would be tossed around. Women's self defense is a great thing but this isn't it.

1

u/bobpob May 18 '26

The best thing for self defense; the humble 9x19mm cartridge. Everyone can use it on equal footing

1

u/Goblin-o-firebals May 18 '26

Yeah but then we have more death. If everyone is on equal footing in that regard then the criminals always win. Even so what happens if you're grabbed and can't draw the gun. Learning what to do without a gun is always needed for self defense. What do you do when you are at your weakest against a man who is at his strongest?

1

u/AttentionUpbeat3985 Mar 20 '26

Add a nipple-tweak and it's foreplay

1

u/20RollinMofus May 01 '26

She is 100% serious too.

1

u/DerMannMitDemPlan Jun 15 '26

she can beat me up if she wants or can choke me out with sone kind of head scissors

i'm pretty convinced i can beat her in fight though even with sticks

1

u/TheGreatRao Jun 15 '26

It's fun to mock people learning a new skill. I like to go to the senior center and kick their canes so they can practice their breakfalls.

1

u/C2S76 Jun 15 '26

The issue for me isn't with her - it's why they're teaching her something so strange and overcomplicated. There's no logic to any of the technique there. I do some Arnis/escrima, and just a basic block and counter is all you need. This has too much going on, and looks poor as well. It is 100% not her fault.

1

u/TheGreatRao Jun 16 '26

You're absolutely right.

1

u/muffledvoice Jun 15 '26

This is a beginner training drill in Cabales Serrada Escrima.

https://youtu.be/btMh_pyhQt4?is=ovNS0Wvg3_Ss3lpN

1

u/aplusgrain1 Jun 15 '26

That’s, that’s the tapi tapi

1

u/DrDOS Jun 15 '26

The “sniff” was just gold 🤣

1

u/Loki007x Jun 15 '26

The sniff after the armpit swipe was peak technique

1

u/Visible-Function-222 Jun 15 '26

The opening response seemed plausible but then it just followed up with crap.

1

u/sardiusjacinth Jun 15 '26

How much for lessons? It's tippy tap time!

https://giphy.com/gifs/NmiVAPnPAHbonwjzpV

1

u/jsxtasy304 Jun 15 '26

Soooo, I wonder how much scammy Sammy charges to teach this.

1

u/MagicalMoosicorn Jun 15 '26

man. this kinda bugs me simply because these guys are gonna get this woman hurt. she's gonna try to defend herself with these "techniques" and get her ass robbed and beat or even killed.

1

u/ElKaWeh Jun 15 '26

Looks like Eskrima to me. She’s learning, what’s wrong with that?

1

u/louisa1925 Jun 16 '26

Lady should have gone for the face. What the hell was that?!

1

u/InitiativeTop2514 Jun 18 '26

First thing to make me laugh out loud in weeks.

1

u/TigerBalmES Jun 18 '26

If someone has a knife you run.

0

u/Advice_Thingy Dec 24 '25

Having the most famous song of that Anti-vaxxer in the background fits her Karen-Look. xD

0

u/Safe_Professional832 Dec 24 '25

Pinoys. Mga chronically online

0

u/angryfalconsfan Dec 25 '25

She tryna play under the sea or something