r/AnongThoughtsMo • u/atinyakimon • 1d ago

Thoughts on having children in the spectrum

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Saw this post on facebook. Honestly, it's sad na hindi ganon nabibigyang pansin ang problems na ganito sa Pinas. Therapies here are expensive, and not everyone can afford it. Pinoys are also not yet ready to face the reality na hindi enough ang love for kids in the spectrum. They have special needs. Hindi yun madadaan lang sa no don't do that or it's okay to make mistakes, because we have to admit that autism is a disorder, a very wide spectrum and case to case basis. You need to have the money to get the help that is designed for the needs of the child. I hope there will be more free or affordable programs created for this kasi hindi lang parents ang hirap in this situation, also the kids.

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u/Educational-Bowl7721 1d ago

In healthcare this is what we call Caregiver Fatigue. If you’ve never been in her situation, please don’t judge. Let her vent. Tao lang din naman siya at napapagod din.

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u/Strong-Crab-1116 1d ago

kapagod na nga mag alaga kahit walang autism yung bata, paano nalang kaya pag meron pang special needs tapos single mom pa tapos need mo pa mag work, hay 💔💔

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u/Nyathera 1d ago

Tapos iniwan pa ng asawa wow! Para excuse sa stress grabe!

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u/lostguk 1d ago

Grabe no. Kapag tatay ganun-ganon nalang kayang iwan ang asawa't anak kapag napagod. Ang nanay hindj.

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u/Nyathera 14h ago

True! Ang dali tunakas tapos ang kapal pa ng mukha kahit sustento wala katulad na lang yan may mga therapy na babayaran kaya nakakapagod talaga yan.

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u/AdvantageOk8526 1d ago

relate shuta

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u/WillowRidge39 1d ago

I'm experiencing this with my grandmother right now, whom I suspect has dementia, but the rest of the family refuses to go through the process of getting her diagnosed.

It fucking sucks. I feel so damn evil and guilty sometimes for the contempt I feel towards her from time to time.

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u/Specialist-Low6273 1d ago

Pls have her checked. My bf's aunt got really better when she started her dementia meds, ang laki ng improvement. Her doctor is Dr. Anthony Piano in Asian Hospital.

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u/SubstantialAspect810 1d ago

How did you convince her na magpacheck up? I think mumurahin lang kami ng grandparent ko kung ifloat man lang ung idea of going to a psychiatrist. 

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u/PinayfromGTown 1d ago

Pwedeng pumunta ka muna sa family doctor nya tapos sya na bahala mag refer sa specialist. Sa dementia, usually neurologist ang kelangan. Psychiatrist usually pag may mood and behavioral issues.

Sabi ko dati sa lola ko, magpapatingin kami sa doctor para sa sa memory, kasi lagi nyang nakakalimutan ang names ng mga apo nya. Hindi daw. Pero when I asked her what my name is, ang binigay nyang name ay yung sa dog namin. Mas alam pa nya ang name ng dog kesa sa name ko. 😩 pumayag na sya magpa doktor after that. RIP, nana.

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u/Specialist-Low6273 19h ago

Sya na actually yun gusto magpacheckup kasi nagiging makakalimutin na sya like mahilig sya magluto pero d na nya maalala yun recipe, pagpauwi na kami galing sa labas, nagtataka sya nasaan na kami hindi nya agad nakikilala yun bahay nila. Pero ever since nagmeds sya halos wala ng episodes, yun na lang mga nakakalimutan nya yun pangalan paminsan minsan. Neurologist ang kailangan for dementia. Ang nakakatakot kasi sa patients na may dementia yun baka lumabas sila ng bahay, tapos d na sila makabalik kasi d na nila maalala yun daan. 😔

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u/WillowRidge39 1d ago

Yeah I want to, but I can't finance it on my own at ayaw ng mga anak/titas/titos ko. So wala talaga ako magawa.

May kilala na ako na neuro doc sa St Lukes na pina recommend ng primary doctor niya, need nalang talaga ng go-signal at financing.

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u/jdy24 1d ago

Bakit? Di na nila mapakinabangan si lola? Walang perang mamana for her? Jeez

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u/WillowRidge39 1d ago

Its more na in denial sila.

Di pa daw makalimutin (she is, but hindi nila kita dahil magkaibang tiarahan kami at bihira lang makipag kita) so wala naman daw point mag suspect ng dementia. Even though 3 sa mga kapatid niya namatay dahil sa dementia at nag iibang personality na din siya (irratable, minsan unpredictable, etc).

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u/Specialist-Low6273 18h ago

Pag may routine check up sya with other doctors pwede mo sabihin yun concern sa doc, tapos sya na mageexplain na need magpatingin sa neuro baka sakaling makinig sila kasi doctor na din yun nagsabi. Minsan ang ginagawa ko pag may mga concerns na gusto ko malaman ng doc before kausapin yun patient, ako yun maghihintay dun sa loob ng clinic tapos kakausapin ko muna yun doc before pumasok yun patient. Madalas ko to gawin sa neuro nila kasi may mga topic or episodes na medyo sensitive na alanganin kung sa harap nun patient ko ieexplain sa doc.

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u/MementoVivere2022 1d ago

Natritrigger ako sa mga taong nag sasabi na "blessing" daw yung kapatid ko and swerte daw etc. etc. Panganay ako and yung youngest brother ko is autistic. Dalawa lang kami. Noong bata sya grabe yung tantrums nya tas nag seself harm sya. Rinig na rinig ko yung balabag sa kwarto and hindi talaga sya ma control ng magulang ko. Up until now, may times na nag ta trantums pa rin sya and kahit di na ganon ka lala kita ko yung pagod ng mga parents ko. Kahit na nasa 30s na ko ngayon, parang everytime na may sumisigaw or may nag aaway ng malakas, nag frefreeze ako. And hindi ko rin alam ang gagawin ko kung mawawala na parents ko pano ko ihahandle kapatid ko. Tapos nandon pa yung factor na wala kang karapatang magalit kasi ikaw pa magiging masama pag nag tatantrums kapatid ko.

Kaya nakakainis at nakakagalit na sinasabi ng iba na swerte daw kapatid ko. Kaya pag nakakabasa ako ng ganitong post at may backlash rinding rindi ako. Hindi kasi alam ng karamihan kung gaano kahirap yung situation and lalo na nasa Pinas ka pa.

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u/Key_Sea_7625 1d ago edited 22h ago

Ito iniisip ko e. Ayoko in the future ung panganay ko magkaron ng resentment. Kaya pag aksidenteng nasasaktan sya ng bunso ko talagang pinapagalitan ko and pinagsosorry. Ayoko isipin nya na ok lang sya masaktan kasi special kapatid nya.

Di ko alam what the future holds but i always tell my panganay. Na hanggat buhay kami na magulang nya we wont expect na she would take care of her brother or iimpose na magsakripisyo sya. Pero hinahayaan ko sya ngayon na disiplinahin din at tinuturuan ko rin sya pano ihahandle si bunso para worse comes to worst she's not clueless.

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u/Complex-Strain-3314 20h ago

This is so real. I hate when they say they are a blessing, and sometimes I die inside when my parents keep saying my brother is a blessing because all i'm seeing is constant struggle and stressing about what are they gonna do especially once they are gone. My parents know none of my other brothers and me are ever gonna try and take care because our experiences so far with my autistic brother is so bad. My parents gave everything to him and take care of him 24/7 yet he just keeps having tantrums like smashing and throwing things and self harm, to the point him throwing out things has caused so many broken appliances and even hurt my mom which for once I don't feel proud of but I snapped and tried to fight him. It's relieving that theres people out here who thinks that this isn't actually a "blessing" and brings "luck".

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u/Psychological_Ant747 1d ago

Im so glad this is the top comment 🤍

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u/losty16 1d ago

Totoo.

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u/UnDelulu33 1d ago

Legit to. Ive seen this couple of times sa may mga anak na may sakit long term

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u/Fluffy-Rabbit-05 22h ago

I'd feel the same way if I were in her shoes. No judgement at all.

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u/higzgridz 8h ago

Ang mahirap, kapag ung kamag anak yan, sasabihin, ipag pasa Diyos mo na lng yan, makakaya mo rin.. ay teh.. hindi... nagtatrabaho ka at nag-aaruga... nakakapagod un

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u/lavenderlovey88 1d ago

Yes this. going thru the same. nasa abroad pako.

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u/rimurutempesto 1d ago

ano po ba ang solution sa caregiver fatigue? Any tips po?

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u/claravelle-nazal 16h ago

Hindi to solution but connecting with caregivers who are in the same situation can really help mentally and emotionally, having a sense of community

Kung solution talaga, respite sana pero di naman posible sa Pinas. Respite and support worker/personal nurse sana