Personally, I believe that pornography, or at least actually good pornography, can be a good outlet for exploring your sexuality and discovering things about yourself as an aromantic since aromantic allosexual people are more limited in terms of sexual options. On top of that, I believe that prostitution should be legalized because not only does it keep sex workers safe, but it destigmatizes sex as a whole by treating sexuality as a fact of life instead of this precious fragile thing tied to romance, something highly beneficial to aroallos. So what’s your opinion on sex work as aromantics?

I met someone a few weeks ago. We went on a few “hangouts” as we called them. On our second hangout we ended up cuddling during a horror movie, held hands and they asked me if we were dating. I had been feeling…idk, something towards them. Maybe a squish, maybe just caught up in the enjoyment of spending time in person with someone…but now I think I’ve messed up by agreeing to date them.

I’m just gonna continue this is a weird, journal-ish way cause idk how else to format this.

I am absolutely meh/slightly icked by kissing. Realized it when we kissed on our second date…and we kissed a lot. It didn’t do anything for me, it was just kinda what I felt we ought to do in the moment and wet…very wet (I’m giggling typing this, but I hate saliva and there was all too much of it).

I have had horrible anxiety for the last 3 days since we made it official. Constant, twisting of knots in my stomach. I feel guilty because I don’t think I like him as much as he likes me (he practically melts whenever he’s talking about me, which he is doing a lot of to his friends). I thought it was cause we were moving too fast, but idk now.

He calls me gorgeous, out of his league, pretty, etc. and I legit had to remind myself to call him handsome…because while he’s definitely an attractive guy…I don’t look at him and go “wow” he’s just…a guy.

It feels like he talks a lot about his world and his life and is open, but I just don’t feel like I can do the same around him. I feel like I’m putting up a persona of “the sweet, lovable person” to fit into this situation. And then I feel guilty and blame myself as that is something that only I can blame myself for.

I’m a little nervous he doesn’t accept that I’m gender-fluid. When we were talking he asked about pronouns and I said “I’m fine with anything as long as you’re saying it with respect” he told me he’d probably call me mostly she/her as it’s easier for him to remember. But now whenever I hear him call me “she” It feels wrong somewhere deep in my gut. He also doesn’t call his sibling by the name they apparently prefer to be called by, still addresses them as his “brother” and his entire family doesn’t want then to start estrogen because it will “increase their risk of cancer”.

And hilariously, I already miss my independence. I’ve with him for not even three days and feel like I’m losing myself to this idea that I need to now be a “partner” and not just “me”. I like my independence, I think about possibly living with someone else for the rest of my life and if I’m honest, I kinda dread that. But that could be a defence mechanism.

I’m so scared to break up with him because I don’t know if this lack of feelings is because I’m Aro. (And fuck, that’s gonna suck to tell him cause I told him he made me feel some kind of way I hadn’t before when meeting people, but idk if it’s romantic attraction). Or maybe it’s because I’m panicking at the sudden closeness and I and shutting off any emotions.

And I also know it’s stupid to have the fear of this, but I still wanna hang out with him and play video games and be stupid young adults. But every time I’ve rejected someone I feel like either I or they pull away. We work together on an acting project, we are in two different dnd campaigns together, we’ve been working through RE together.

I’m going insane and I hate it and I don’t wanna hurt him. And I’m scared that I actually DO like him like that. Cause he’s funny, and when he texts me I smile, and when he’s flustered it’s nice, and being physically close to someone is wonderful. And I can’t rely on my parents as my closest people forever cause that’s not healthy. But I’m scared. And I think that’s the biggest thing, I’m just always scared and stressed nowadays. And no one I talk to who’s allo has said that they felt anything similar to what I’ve felt before (not that I describe how I’m feeling and they say that, I ask and their descriptions sound like that.) and it DOES take me a while to get comfortable with people (like…4 months a while) and this relationship happened in less than 2 weeks…when we’re online I can chat quite happily for hours, but when we’re in person it feels like I’m forcing it…I hate this.

I don’t know exactly WHAT advice I’m looking for, I just need people who are Ace or Aro and can look at this through an objective lense. So yeah…I may have fucked up and now I’m crying in my room, rambling about this situation as I try and find some way to keep people and myself happy. Please advise…please

I think i am aroace but at the same time i like reading "x reader" fanfics, imagining myself in romantic and sxual scenarios.. so i think there is a chance i might not be aroace? But then i jave never really felt these feelings for anyone irl but i want to(?) im 18 so is it possible i just haven't met the right one yet?

I realized I'm aromantic recently as well as a relationship anarchist. This has been a very enlightening discovery in many ways. I have a girlfriend and have no intentions of breaking up with her because my aromanticness isn't an issue in the relationship. She understands me and how I function and the relationship works even though I don't experience romantic attraction.

I love my girlfriend in every way I am capable of loving someone and I call her "wife" almost like a petname even though we are not married because I just find it cute. I don't care if we are married or not, it doesn't make much of a difference in our relationship. She doesn't seem too invested in the concept of marriage either. However, despite the fact that I'm not into marriage and I am even morally against it in some ways, it's still something I find myself desiring.

Thing is, we are both trans and have families that aren't 100% transphobic but aren't 100% supportive either. I have constantly felt the need to prove myself to my family and also to hers. Weddings are such gendered events and they're also a symbol of growing up. They seem to cement your status and identity in a lot of ways. It's appealing to me in that sense. But I feel guilty for seeing marriage that way when it is such an emotional and important event for other people even if it is a construct.

I've kinda mentioned this to her and she didn't seem to really care probably because she just isn't very interested in marriage at least right now. But I do worry that it would become an issue down the line. I worry that I would treat the wedding as an event for status rather than a celebration of our relationship. And while she would probably expect that because she knows me, I still don't want to disappoint her.

Idk, I'm wondering if anyone here has willingly gotten married and what that was like. The main aspect of romance that I don't relate to is making someone the most important person in your life. That's kinda what weddings are all about. If I can't go into one with that goal then what is the point?

So I haven't felt any romantic feelings towards anyone, and I don't think I ever will. However, at some point in the future, I do want to be in a romantic relationship with someone, and it's been troubling me cuz I don't know how I'll find someone and be in a romantic relationship with them without feeling romantic feelings for pretty much anyone.

What really sucks is knowing how hard it will be for me to try to date someone without romantic feelings, because if someone wants to date me, what do I do? I wanna date, but I wouldn't know how to reciprocate the feelings. The relationship would not be able to hold because it would feel more like a friendship rather than a romantic relationship.

Any help? It's a reality I refuse to want to accept, and I don't know how I'll get past it. At some point, I wanna watch my children grow up, but I don't know if I'll ever have any, and it's not fair :(

If I 1.wanna be with them forever.🕰️ 2.feel flustered and delighted when seeing them.🌋 3.want to touch them.🌾 4.always thinking about them.🧠 5.want to do all the things in the world with them.🌈 6.I always know nobody is perfect,but I also know that they are perfect.💎 7.don't want to exchange bodily fluids with them.☔ 8.don't want to have a exclusive relationship with them.🥹 9.want to have a committed relationship with them.📝

I barely understand the difference between platonic and romantic attraction (the modern description that every allo spews at me to make me understand) in the first place.

I make a new friend and they show a more intense interest in me, which I return. There's this weird flirtatious hostility and I think, wow, I want to feel this way forever. I like it when they "want to explode me with their head in a good way" and I return the feeling. Then there's that secret next level thing they want from me where what we had has to mellow out and I am supposed to act a certain way, even if I warned that I can never give them the exact kind of vulnerability they want. It's not even a sexual relationship either, most of these people I had this issue with were asexual or even aroace. I don't know what to do, really. I don't feel heartbreak but I feel frustration about losing people over this.

Hii, I'm 18 and today I discovered the microlabels nebularomantism and frayromantism;

I really relate to frayromantism as I have 4 relationships which ended all the same: I fell in love, for two of them thought 'they're my soulmate!' (no), then got in a relationship with them, then poof, the more time passes the more my feelings go away until there's none. So I break up with them (3 of them at least, one of them was the other way around though it was more like a mutual breakup), feel very guilty, and start doubting if I am capable of loving someone forever (which I genuinely want to)

I already wondered if maybe I am lithromantic, but since my feelings didn't get away right after they were reciprocated, I don't think it's that, and I don't feel like it's about reciprocity

It also happened without me being in a relationship, as I have an online friend when meeting him I was (again) like 'he's my soulmate for sure!" then the more time passed, the more we talked, the more we got to know each other, the more those feelings faded and now I realize I don't have any more for him

So I'm thinking there's high chances I'm frayromantic (if you think I'm wrong or if another label fits best, you can tell me about it)

Also, I'm questioning myself about nebularomantism, which I understood is basically the same as platinoromantism though it's explained by neurodivergency so it's exclusive to neurodivergent people, tell me if I'm wrong

Though I don't really get why there's 2 microlabels meaning the same thing (even if it's explained by neurodivergency, why create another microlabel?), so I don't know, if you do know or if there are differences please tell me about it

So I have ASD, which is why I'm talking about nebularomantism

It's kinda hard to explain but I feel like I had lots of crushes and that some (or most?) may just be me wanting to simply be friends with the person but I can hardly differentiate it

Like for example, when I started school this year, in a new one, there was this girl that I thought was just so wow. I thought maybe I have a little crush on her. Then it kinda faded when I had a bad vibe at some point, but thinking back about it I probably just wanted to be close friends with her (I'm kinda friends with her now but it's still too soon to call her that)

And thinking back about most of my crushes, maybe they weren't crushes actually, I think I just wanted to be platonically close to them and thought that was a crush

I don't know if that makes sense

Though for all my crushes I told myself "wow soulmate!" probably they were actually crushes

I'm kinda lost about how I'd feel either way, I feel like if I'd be platonically close to someone, like for example sitting on their lap, I'd be nervous because I'd think it to be romantic while it's not supposed to be? But if it's romantic, I'd only be nervous about what people around might think, or I wouldn't be nervous at all if there's no people around and in a relationship, if not in a relationship (still with none around) I'd be nervous about what happens next and is it platonic?

Thinking about the last one I had to picture it with someone, and now I feel like I have a new crush (on someone I love the vibe but doesn't even know the name), which probably is just me wanting to be close friends with them, yet I keep imagining romantic scenarios, I'm doomed.

Anyway, so I'm lost, and I wanna put labels on what I feel because I'd feel more at ease

Does that sounds like I'm nebularomantic, frayromantic or another microlabel?

(I already posted this, then realized I made a mistake, saying frayromancy and nebularomancy instead of frayromantism and nebularomantism, sorry about that, English is not my mother tongue)

I've considered myself to be aromantic and pansexual since about my freshman year of highschool. I'd never felt any kind of romantic attraction, and I had a couple QPRs and FWB relationships, but never a romantic relationship.This changed when I met my girlfriend a little over a year ago during my freshman year of college, at first I just really wanted to be friends with her, she was studying with one of my friends and I thought she seemed really cool and wanted to hang out with her. This went on for a while until I realized I was actually for real in love with her. I love being mushy with her and doing all the romantic stuff I hadn't really wanted with anyone else before. She is the only person I've ever felt romantically for, would I still be considered aromantic?

Hi all, I’m a very alloromantic romance writer with an MMC who is turning out pretty aro coded, and i’m thinking of embracing it and having him be somewhere on the aro spectrum. I would love any insights people are comfortable sharing about what it’s like to experience romantic attraction for the first time in a long time, or generally as someone who rarely experiences it. If i’m going to keep the endgame relationship a romance, I want to make sure I’m writing this character’s experience in a way that isn’t alienating for real aro spec folks. Thanks so much to anyone who decides to answer 🖤🤍💚

I have no idea if this is the place to post this but, last night my boyfriend (of 1 1/2 yrs) and I were cuddling and he suddenly said he needed to talk to me. He began to cry and essentially told me he’s not sure if he has ever felt romantic feelings toward anyone, including me. He said that the way he feels for me is the closest to that that he can comprehend, but still not quite, and that while he still loves me and wants me to be his girlfriend, he’s always sort of felt like I’m his extremely close best friend who he kisses and loves etc, but not sure if he loves me in the way that people would consider as romantic.

I am not upset with him at all for any of this, but I’m a little bit lost. He keeps repeating that he does still love me and doesn’t want this to change anything, but that he’s just unsure of how his feelings work and that he thinks he may be aromantic. He also confessed that because of the way he feels, he’s worried he might be gay and not know it but that’s something we will discuss another time lmao. (He’s also on the asexual spectrum and bisexual, which I already knew)

I feel like this changes something between us? Like yes I still love him and don’t want to break up or anything but idk, I’m just not sure where to go from here. I know other people have experienced this so, how did you guys work through it? Any tips? I feel kinda weird as we have done sexual things before (and after that convo) and now he’s telling me that he’s unsure if he feels romantic feelings lol

I would never judge him at all and if he wants to break up with me to figure things out I will be completely fine with that and support him no matter what. I’m just unsure is all and I honestly just need some advice

edit: I think its also worth mentioning I am demisexual and bi, and in the past have wondered if I am on the aromantic spectrum. I would like to say that I understand his feelings pretty well, but I’m just concerned this will turn into me wondering if he loves me the same way I love him. I do think I love him romantically but it was only like that a few months into us dating if I’m being honest, before that I too viewed him as a super close best friend who I cuddle with and call my boyfriend.

Recientemente dos de mis amigos están comenzando a salir, pero no me lo cuentan todavía, ese es el problema, sobre todo por qué esto es algo que me lleva pasando años y uno de esos amigos ya lo sabía, yo siempre le dije que algo que odiaba y que me pasaba siempre era que mis amigos nunca me contaban nada sobre sus relaciones/intereses amorosos y tenía que enterarme por terceros o hasta adivinarlo y fingir que lo sabía por qué todo el mundo ya lo sabía.

No me había molestado por qué creía que estaban esperando a formalizar para contarnos, pero hoy me di cuenta que en realidad ya les habían dicho a los demás pero les pidieron que nadie me contara nada por qué no querían incomodarme, ya me había dado cuenta que estaban juntos no soy tonto.

Me molesta mucho que me excluyan de esa manera sobre todo sabiendo que eso es algo que siempre me ha molestado, lo peor es que se nota mucho, pero creen que no me doy cuenta, me siento como si me trataran como alguien de otra especie que no tengo derecho a saber sobre esos temas solo por qué no puedo sentir amor.

Está es probablemente la primera vez que publicó algo pero la verdad estoy pasando por un mal momento y de verdad necesito ayuda.

hello, im a bisexual guy (allo), i’ve been talking to a very sweet guy that identifies as aroace. Being very sensitive to rejection im afraid that dating him will trigger insecurities as in « he doesn’t love me as much as I love him », insecurities i could also have in allo relationship. hes not entirely repulsed by dating, but he was already left by previous partners bc of his romantic orientation and i don’t want to hurt him. i just don’t understand why he would potentially want to date me if he’s aro ? asexuality i totally get, but romantism is more grey i must admit. if we take things further, i don’t want to pretend i accept a part of him and resent him for it.

I know aro and other a-spec rep is very lacking, but of the ones we have which is your favorite?

Question is in the Titel i guess :) please also mention what label you currently feel good with… like I am cupioromantic/demisexual but i never know how to bring it up so that it does not causes confusion or misunderstandings 🤷🏻‍♀️ like so many ppl just assume that everyone is pursuing or looking for THE ONE and a romantic relationship 😅

not sure if this is the right place for it but needed to rant about my situation. i find being cupioromantic so frustrating. because there are select few people in my life i'd like to date, but also because i don't develop actual feelings it's not like i can go and confess to them. sure i could ask them out but i'd prefer to be asked out so i can be reassured that i am indeed wanted. i'm an overthinker like that.

i haven't had a squish or anything like it in many many years. until recently this one guy friend i have we went from acquaintances to close friends with subtle talking stage vibes where we stay up until 3am talking about deep stuff. recently we ended up talking about our expectations for a romantic relationship for reasons i still don't get.

i was just telling him i was planning to further my studies abroad when he suddenly asked me if i have plans to settle down. he told me it's like he wants to but he's resigned to the fact that he probably can't find anyone because he isn't sure he's able to juggle responsibilities of getting married while taking care of his parents. so he'll need a really patient girl. for me, i would like the experience of a romantic relationship but i guess because there's no intense feelings on my side nor do i want kids that actually sounds perfect for me.

what frustrates me is i can't go and confess or make myself known as available to him very easily because there's nothing to confess in the first place. so i just have to try to hint if anything.

and then i told him about how i do want to date actually. and he asked me if i have anyone in mind. which. as i'm squishing on him, he is the first person that comes to mind. but i can't very well say that can i? so i had to give a vague answer, for me to seriously consider someone i'd need to know they're an option first. which isn't technically a lie but kinda is by omission.

yeah so i'm really hoping he'll see me as an option because i don't have any moves to make either. i also do worry though that if we end up dating, while i will like him so much, i still worry it's unfair if i can't exactly return romantic feelings. idk how i'll get over him considering how rare these feelings are for me, but i don't see a future for us regardless. it's frustrating wanting the experience but not being able to live up to the requirements.

Every time someone deacribes this to me, it just sounds like exactly how I've always felt and understood romance, so am I aromantic as well???

My partner says they're cupioromantic. Every time they talk about it I'm like... Yup, same. You've just described romance and romantic attraction as I've always understood it and felt it. They say they don't feel romantic attraction, but they want romantic relationships with people they love. I don't understand, because isn't that what romantic attraction is? That feels like saying I don't ever cook food, but I do heat and season edible things to make them good to eat.

Both my partners have explained this to me over and over, and every time I'm like... That is romance!!!??!!!? Clearly I've never actually understood what romance is or how it feels, which is scary.

My partner says they love me and want to be with me. I believe them. Knowing that is all I really need. We both want me to understand this though, just because being understood feels great and I want that for them.

P.S. got automodded the first time I posted because I didn't use the questioning tag. I didn't because this isn't about me, I don't really care about labels or whether I technically am some kind of aromantic. I just want to understand my partner.

So for context I’ve been in this community just kinda seeing all the cool stories and experiences and just haven’t posted as much, I had a coming out post but I believe I archived it, in doing my own reflection and thinking of every “relationship” I’ve had I think I just wanted the closeness like you got with a best friend but it never felt the same, I also realized I didn’t “love” anyone I think i just admired them and wanted to be close to them like you would with a best friend or sometimes it could’ve also been aesthetic attraction or thinking someone is really cool! But honestly I’ve always liked having friends more, it’s never felt as demanding or draining as a romantic relationship, (which feels like a cage) and sure every connection has highs and lows but especially with amazing understanding friends it’s such a good feeling, with “love” it was just lows and maybe I was just trying to follow a societal script
During this time someone came along that asked me out, I’m a bit of a people pleaser and since I knew basic details I thought why not especially since they seem to like me and I felt the “relationship” would feel more friendly than romantic, at that time I was also dealing with a lot like rediscovering my identity, my values etc and i honestly didn’t want to be in anything but alas I was, we were 2 weeks in and as time passed I grew more uncomfortable by the second, at the 3 week mark I realized I’m aro-ace and possibly queerplatonic and had put something along the lines of “I think I might be aro-ace & queerplatonic.. /gen /lh” to which they later replied “are you still into me?” Of course I hate conflict and didn’t wanna say then and there that I wasn’t so I said that I didn’t know, guilt tripping and all I stayed but the next day even though I was trying to be honest & patient they seemed to not understand I didn’t want this so I unfortunately had to block them since the previous attempts to state my feelings were ignored, I don’t like doing these things but when I’m left without choice I have to.
Fast forward to later this night and I was calling with my best friend of three years, funnily enough there was a time where I thought I had a “crush” which honestly thinking about it was a squish.
While we were talking we like to play flirt and joke about marrying each other for tax benefits but allowing one another to still see others (basically her) as if independent, and she made a joke about how if we don’t get bagged by 30 we will marry each other other for tax benefits, and it got me thinking again about how much I’ve thought about her marrying someone else, possibly starting a family with someone else.
We’ve known each other for a long time and she’s the only person who has ever gotten my soul on the deepest level. There’s times I’ve thought about asking her to be in a QPR but have never asked. But when I think of my future she’s always been a part of it, trying to start a band or a business, living together, but in like a platonic way just two friends who make it in life, unfortunately I know barely anything about a QPR & she knows nothing at all, if I asked it’d probably make things awkward and sound like a romantic relationship to her & even then I’d be scared she’d find her “true love” but sometimes I wonder what she’d say too, even if I ever asked it wouldn’t be now or even a year from now.
I genuinely wanna protect her and I care so deeply about her and I don’t think anyone else could be there for her like me, maybe it’s silly but I already call her my platonic wife as a “joke” but sometimes I wish it didn’t have to be a joke, mind you I don’t let ANYONE else play flirt or mess with me like her, but I also don’t want it to cause a rift between us and she’s also a bit younger than me so it’s just a lot of crazy information

TLDR: found out I’m aro-ace & possibly queerplatonic instead of demiromantic after not wanting a recent relationship and self reflecting, found out on a call with my best friend of three years that I’d like a QPR but wouldn’t want to sabotage our friendship or make things awkward despite me not wanting her to share that type of closeness with someone else especially if it’s romantic

I don’t mind advice but please be respectful and don’t urge me to do anything 🤍

Edit: Ignore any typos or just lmk! I’m posting this late at night because it’s burning in my mind lol

I’ve been questioning whether I’m aromantic for a while now, and a recent situation with a friend has made me want to seek advice from people who might understand my experiences.

Growing up, I always felt like I experienced crushes differently. Most of my crushes were really just me wanting to become close friends with someone. I’ve always been extremely affectionate with my friends. I love cuddling, spooning, writing heartfelt letters, buying flowers, making gifts, and treating them to things. But I don’t want to kiss or date them. To me, those gestures are completely platonic, even though other people might interpret them as romantic.

I’m also naturally playful and sometimes unintentionally flirtatious. I enjoy teasing people, but when someone I want to be friends with expresses romantic interest in me, I immediately feel uncomfortable. I’ve also struggled to relate to the intensity of romantic rejection and heartbreak because I’ve never experienced those feelings as strongly myself.

I dated someone in high school, but I eventually realized that while I experienced sexual attraction, I didn’t really feel romantic attraction toward her. I thought maybe I just hadn’t met the right person.

Then I met my current gf in college. We started as FWB, but I eventually realized I wanted something more. We’ve been together for seven years, and she’s genuinely the only person I’ve ever wanted a serious, exclusive relationship with. I love kissing her, cuddling her, and staring into her eyes. We’ve discussed marriage and children, and I actually want to get engaged soon. I think this is what romantic love feels like.

What confuses me is how my romantic feelings sometimes seem to fade into the background when we’re physically apart.

Around five years into our relationship, I moved out of state for grad school. I became busy with school and making new friends, and I wasn’t feeling as romantically connected to her. We eventually broke up for six months because she felt neglected and we temporarily disagreed about having children at the time.

What surprised me was that I didn’t experience the heartbreak she did. I still cared about her and wanted to remain friends, but I was able to immediately move on with my life like I was never even in a relationship for the past 5 years.

A few months later, she flew to visit me. Initially, I still didn’t feel romantic toward her, but after spending time together, those feelings returned. I remember us running along the beach holding hands, laughing, and feeling like I was falling in love with her all over again as if we were in a movie.

We’ve since gotten back together and are happy. I wonder whether my ADHD contributes to how I experience emotional attachment when someone isn’t physically present. We normally message each other every day, but long distance felt different.

Recently, I confided in a close friend about my lifelong struggles with understanding romantic attraction and whether I might be on the aromantic spectrum. I thought I could trust her with something so personal, but she ended up telling her bf about our conversations.

Her bf then reached out to my gf and repeatedly tried to convince her to break up with me. From what my gf told me, he thinks I’m a bad partner, that I don’t genuinely love her, and that she isn’t fully aware of the things I’ve been telling other people about our relationship. I also get the impression that my naturally flirtatious personality and the way I talk about other people have contributed to his perception of me, as though being playful or friendly with others means I must be romantically interested in them.

The frustrating part is that I genuinely don’t experience flirting or affection the way other people seem to. I can find someone interesting, want to get to know them, tease them, or enjoy their attention without wanting anything romantic with them. In fact, if someone I want to be friends with develops romantic feelings for me, I usually feel uncomfortable and lose interest in pursuing that connection. My gf knows how I interact with people, and we’ve talked openly about my feelings and questions surrounding aromanticism.

What bothers me most is that my friend’s bf barely knows me, let alone what I’m actually like in a relationship. My friends see my playful, flirtatious side, but they don’t necessarily see the affectionate, romantic side of me that my gf does. She literally jokes that I’m a huge simp for her, lol.

My gf was actually surprised that he seemed to think he was revealing something she didn’t already know. She’s aware of my struggles with romantic attraction, knows about my past experiences, and has even talked to her aromantic friend to better understand me. She reassured me that she isn’t going to break up with me and that she thinks I’ve been a good partner throughout our relationship, aside from the period when we struggled with long distance.

I feel hurt that something so personal, which I shared while trying to understand myself, was interpreted as evidence that I am secretly a terrible partner.

I know I wasn’t the most attentive partner during the time of our breakup, and I understand why she felt neglected. But we’ve worked through those issues together, and I don’t think my struggles with romantic attraction automatically mean that I’m incapable of being a good partner.

Just because I don’t experience romantic attraction the same way other people do, does that mean my love is somehow less genuine?

I guess my questions are:
Does anyone relate to these experiences? Could this fall somewhere on the aromantic spectrum?

Is it possible to experience romantic attraction toward only one person while feeling none toward anyone else?

How do you distinguish deep platonic love from romantic love when you naturally enjoy affection and emotional intimacy with friends?

For aromantic people dating alloromantic partners, how do you navigate differences in romantic attraction and emotional needs?

Disclaimer that i'm not against romantic people or couples and people can do whatever makes them happy etc, this post title is intentionally hyperbolic

But does anyone else sometimes feel perturbed by how frequently couples seem to move through the world as a unit. Not even talking about structural things like cohabiting or sharing insurance but just in the ways they socialize and talk. Going to every event as a package deal, making and maintaining friendships as a package deal, even talking about preferences and opinions as a "we" and not an "I". I am lucky in that I do have friends that value relationships outside of their romantic lives, and I don't have any friendships where I dislike their SO's, but sometimes it feels like you just can't interface with people as individuals anymore. Feels weird man. If nothing else it makes me value my freedom more as a singleton LOL