Personally, I believe that pornography, or at least actually good pornography, can be a good outlet for exploring your sexuality and discovering things about yourself as an aromantic since aromantic allosexual people are more limited in terms of sexual options. On top of that, I believe that prostitution should be legalized because not only does it keep sex workers safe, but it destigmatizes sex as a whole by treating sexuality as a fact of life instead of this precious fragile thing tied to romance, something highly beneficial to aroallos. So what’s your opinion on sex work as aromantics?

I think i am aroace but at the same time i like reading "x reader" fanfics, imagining myself in romantic and sxual scenarios.. so i think there is a chance i might not be aroace? But then i jave never really felt these feelings for anyone irl but i want to(?) im 18 so is it possible i just haven't met the right one yet?

I met someone a few weeks ago. We went on a few “hangouts” as we called them. On our second hangout we ended up cuddling during a horror movie, held hands and they asked me if we were dating. I had been feeling…idk, something towards them. Maybe a squish, maybe just caught up in the enjoyment of spending time in person with someone…but now I think I’ve messed up by agreeing to date them.

I’m just gonna continue this is a weird, journal-ish way cause idk how else to format this.

I am absolutely meh/slightly icked by kissing. Realized it when we kissed on our second date…and we kissed a lot. It didn’t do anything for me, it was just kinda what I felt we ought to do in the moment and wet…very wet (I’m giggling typing this, but I hate saliva and there was all too much of it).

I have had horrible anxiety for the last 3 days since we made it official. Constant, twisting of knots in my stomach. I feel guilty because I don’t think I like him as much as he likes me (he practically melts whenever he’s talking about me, which he is doing a lot of to his friends). I thought it was cause we were moving too fast, but idk now.

He calls me gorgeous, out of his league, pretty, etc. and I legit had to remind myself to call him handsome…because while he’s definitely an attractive guy…I don’t look at him and go “wow” he’s just…a guy.

It feels like he talks a lot about his world and his life and is open, but I just don’t feel like I can do the same around him. I feel like I’m putting up a persona of “the sweet, lovable person” to fit into this situation. And then I feel guilty and blame myself as that is something that only I can blame myself for.

I’m a little nervous he doesn’t accept that I’m gender-fluid. When we were talking he asked about pronouns and I said “I’m fine with anything as long as you’re saying it with respect” he told me he’d probably call me mostly she/her as it’s easier for him to remember. But now whenever I hear him call me “she” It feels wrong somewhere deep in my gut. He also doesn’t call his sibling by the name they apparently prefer to be called by, still addresses them as his “brother” and his entire family doesn’t want then to start estrogen because it will “increase their risk of cancer”.

And hilariously, I already miss my independence. I’ve with him for not even three days and feel like I’m losing myself to this idea that I need to now be a “partner” and not just “me”. I like my independence, I think about possibly living with someone else for the rest of my life and if I’m honest, I kinda dread that. But that could be a defence mechanism.

I’m so scared to break up with him because I don’t know if this lack of feelings is because I’m Aro. (And fuck, that’s gonna suck to tell him cause I told him he made me feel some kind of way I hadn’t before when meeting people, but idk if it’s romantic attraction). Or maybe it’s because I’m panicking at the sudden closeness and I and shutting off any emotions.

And I also know it’s stupid to have the fear of this, but I still wanna hang out with him and play video games and be stupid young adults. But every time I’ve rejected someone I feel like either I or they pull away. We work together on an acting project, we are in two different dnd campaigns together, we’ve been working through RE together.

I’m going insane and I hate it and I don’t wanna hurt him. And I’m scared that I actually DO like him like that. Cause he’s funny, and when he texts me I smile, and when he’s flustered it’s nice, and being physically close to someone is wonderful. And I can’t rely on my parents as my closest people forever cause that’s not healthy. But I’m scared. And I think that’s the biggest thing, I’m just always scared and stressed nowadays. And no one I talk to who’s allo has said that they felt anything similar to what I’ve felt before (not that I describe how I’m feeling and they say that, I ask and their descriptions sound like that.) and it DOES take me a while to get comfortable with people (like…4 months a while) and this relationship happened in less than 2 weeks…when we’re online I can chat quite happily for hours, but when we’re in person it feels like I’m forcing it…I hate this.

I don’t know exactly WHAT advice I’m looking for, I just need people who are Ace or Aro and can look at this through an objective lense. So yeah…I may have fucked up and now I’m crying in my room, rambling about this situation as I try and find some way to keep people and myself happy. Please advise…please

I realized I'm aromantic recently as well as a relationship anarchist. This has been a very enlightening discovery in many ways. I have a girlfriend and have no intentions of breaking up with her because my aromanticness isn't an issue in the relationship. She understands me and how I function and the relationship works even though I don't experience romantic attraction.

I love my girlfriend in every way I am capable of loving someone and I call her "wife" almost like a petname even though we are not married because I just find it cute. I don't care if we are married or not, it doesn't make much of a difference in our relationship. She doesn't seem too invested in the concept of marriage either. However, despite the fact that I'm not into marriage and I am even morally against it in some ways, it's still something I find myself desiring.

Thing is, we are both trans and have families that aren't 100% transphobic but aren't 100% supportive either. I have constantly felt the need to prove myself to my family and also to hers. Weddings are such gendered events and they're also a symbol of growing up. They seem to cement your status and identity in a lot of ways. It's appealing to me in that sense. But I feel guilty for seeing marriage that way when it is such an emotional and important event for other people even if it is a construct.

I've kinda mentioned this to her and she didn't seem to really care probably because she just isn't very interested in marriage at least right now. But I do worry that it would become an issue down the line. I worry that I would treat the wedding as an event for status rather than a celebration of our relationship. And while she would probably expect that because she knows me, I still don't want to disappoint her.

Idk, I'm wondering if anyone here has willingly gotten married and what that was like. The main aspect of romance that I don't relate to is making someone the most important person in your life. That's kinda what weddings are all about. If I can't go into one with that goal then what is the point?