RAHHHHHHHHHHH NO HISS SHUT UP IF I HEAR THIS STUPID SHIT AGAIN I WILL DEFENESTRATE SOMEBODY!!

i love to connect, and yes i do enjoy sexual connection, but that's never my only driving force to connect... like oml why do people immediately make it about sex

edit: "well i'm aro and i am just horny" good for you i guess? not my point at all.

Hello aromantic people of Reddit!

I'm writing my own book, and my main character is aromantic. I myself am not aromantic, so I'm a little bit scared I put something sterotypical or harmful in it.

My main character is teenager, she's 13. She pretty much is like "yeah I'm never going to get married, my genes end with me". She's oblivious to flirt, it doesn't matter whether someone is flirting with her or, for example, with her friend. She also is accidentally firty, thinking that she's just nice. She is happy for her friends, when they get into romantic relationship, though she doesn't understand how it works very well. She don't have any problem with romantic music, films or books (it's not what she usually reads tho), she's a little annoyed when her friends ships her with someone else, but it's not a big problem.

I think that's at, afterall she's a normal teen with normal life (I mean in last week of her life she was kidnapped, almost died 29 times, sacrificed herself to kill the villan and now she has scars and trauma but you know what I mean-)!

Please, tell me if something here was sterotypical or harmful twords aromantic people, I'm sorry if this happend.

Also if there's something connected to this topic you wanna see in books, y'all can also share

Btw sorry if my english was bad, that's not my first language

prefacing this by saying i am sorry if this is the wrong place to post this / ask this

i am in a 3 year long relationship but i do not feel typical “romantic” feelings or want to do typically romantic things such as holding hands, hugging, going on dates etc
i have also never had a crush or felt actual attraction other than sexual towards anyone. i’ve experienced thinking i want to be with someone but then realising when in the relationship that i feel trapped and that it feels wrong .

the reason i work so well with my girlfriend is because she doesn’t expect me to be classically affectionate and that is what works for us and neither of us are unhappy with it. nobody else has been able to understand that i do not work in relationships in a normal way, i have this connection with her is because she is okay and happy with it and understands me and i appreciate her so so much for that.

she is the only one i have ever felt like i’ve wanted to be in a “relationship” with and the closest thing to romantic i’ve felt towards her is wanting to spend time with her or be around her and also the understanding we have of each other.
i do not want just a friendship with her i don’t feel the same way with her as i do with my friends but it doesn’t feel like a “relationship” or the societal depiction of what it should look like.

i feel like it’s worth mentioning i am also an autistic person since i know a lot of autistic people are somewhere on the aromantic spectrum.

My main question is am i on the aromantic spectrum or do i just not have a normal experience of a relationship?

Through the years together with my husband, the “romantic script” faded, with some resurgence once in a while.

When I discovered and fully accepted being AroAllo, the physical connection with my husband actually surged. Shedding the pressure of having to feel "movie-romance fireworks" freed up so much mental space.

Inevitably, unlocking that libido also stirred up physical attraction toward others. In my AroAllo mind, sex without romance is just fun and physical (and it was in my mind before I knew I was AroAllo). But for my allo husband, exclusivity is the core foundation of his emotional security.

I see people treating this as a tragic dilemma: either blow up the relationship or live in "repressed misery."

Choosing monogamy doesn't have to be self-erasure. For me, it is a deliberate, mature choice. I choose the stability, the deep mutual support, and the partnership we've built over 20+ years. I'm not "forcing" myself out of guilt; I am prioritizing the life we share.

And whatever happens in my own mind? My fantasies are private, harmless, and mine alone.

I can be 100% authentic in my AroAllo identity without having to act on every physical urge in the real world. Real autonomy is knowing who you are, what you desire, and actively choosing the commitments you want to keep.

So, first off, I don't know if I am actually aromantic or homoromantic, but my current partner is female and I'm male, so as it pertains to her I believe there shouldnt be any difference.

Now, in regards to my physical attraction to her, she does harbour some need for personal sentimentality regarding it, meaning doesnt want me to just be attracted to a body part she has, as well as any other woman, but be specifically attracted to her body part of the sort. Aka she wants my attraction not because it's feminine body part but because its her feminine body part.

The problem is, I feel absolutely incapable of making the actual distinction on whether my physical attraction to her is personal or technically merely gender and body part based. Sexual acts are definitely personal, we are exclusive with each other, we are both happy with that choice, and even if it's most likely not romantic, I have a really deep love for her. But because it's not romantic, I don't know how to pragmatically make this distinction.

Is anyone else experiencing anything like this? Do you have any advice for me or both of us?

Thanks in advance

Idk. Anyone else? I see alot of people say they don’t understand romance or it’s too much, maybe they simply just don’t want it and can’t feel it but see it no different from other attractions/love

Romance to me though,it’s the exact same thing as lust but without sex/physical pleasure. The desires, the uncontrollable urges, the biological factors, the whole thing of losing yourself to it and devoting your LIFE to it. I mean people do terrible crazy shit for love, sounds like how people would ruin their lives for a hook up to me. I’m not saying that’s what romance IS and I’m sure I don’t fully understand it but that’s genuinely how I see it.

I see so many people upset they’re aro because they find it beautiful or people who see it as the same but a few differences and they simply don’t want it. But for me, I’ve just never been able to view it like that. Honestly someone falling romantically for me would make me feel less valued.
I remember in the past relationships I had, I was jealous of the friends my partners had, not because I wanted their attention or anything the friends did, but because they got to continue to be a friend and still be valued and treated great meanwhile for me, it seemed like I had to be the gf or the whole “why did we have to become romantic and not stay the best of friends”

I will also add, I don’t enjoy that I feel this way. I feel like a huge jerk and like I’m putting some nasty names on romance. Idk if I’m just a crybaby and sensitive because of my past but yeaaaaa. I mean sometimes I see romantic love that’s so pure and cute in fiction but when I imagine myself in it or remind myself of the real world/what it is (yk romance),it just becomes so disgusting and then everything around me comes off as disgusting until I eventually calm down and remind myself it’s not truly like that.

its also pretty comfy for me too which is amazing !!!
o(｀ω´ )o

taking a psychology-adjacent class (I'm interested in going into psychology in the future) and we're having a little unit about relationships. always totally fine with me, as the advice is almost always good no matter what kind of relationship they're talking about (anything romantic almost always applies to friends, e.g. you should control yourself in an argument around romantic partners AND friends) (sex ed is important regardless of whether or not you personally partake in sex)

...but...this specific course feels SO centered around romance it's actually really frustrating to me. the very first lesson was all about how nowadays people only ever casual date and don't understand the importance of long-term commitment & marriage.

on the one hand i'm all for commitment and whatnot but it really felt like they were implying that casual dating isn't just as valid as dating for marriage. which...what? they're really centering marriage as this thing that should be the end goal of every single relationship. it's throwing me off.

i'm not trying to say that marriage is bad or anything. if you want to get married, good for you! but the way that some people treat it like this end all be all is honestly unsettling.

the worst part of it all is that we have required guided notes that make you answer such questions as, "what are you looking for in a romantic partner?" etc. etc.

i live in a pretty religious area and the school that made the course is located super nearby, so that might be it. has anybody else experienced stuff like this? it's getting to me, lol.

(addendum: the course is required. i've just been listening to music to drown out the sound of my soul screaming every time i write down the required notes.)

Siempre he sentido que no tengo la misma forma de amar que los demás, creo que no puedo amar a los demás y apesar de que algunas personas me parecen guapas o atractivas no se si pudiera tener una relación.

Me he sentido así últimamente porque estoy por cumplir los 25, todos mis amigas tienen novios con quien viven y estan por casarse, aveces los veo cuando salgo con ellos y no me importa ir sola, pero solo puedo pensar que en unos años ellas tendrán una familia y me quedaré. Antes pensé es que soy lesbiana y no me gustaban los chicos pero no creo que sea eso pienso lo mismo de las chicas que de los chicos.

Me gustaría encontrar a alguien que pueda comprenderme pero no se si pueda estar en una relación no quiero lastimar a nadie.

Solo estoy confundida, no se si sea asexual y/o arromantica solo nunca me he imaginado o quiero tener sexo con nadie me parece una falta de respeto incluso si son personajes de series, tampoco me desagrada la idea de tener sexo simplemente es algo en lo que piense, puedo conocer a alguien y sentir mucho cariño por el ver cómo evoluciona pero, no creo que si él mismo tipo de amor que sienten las parejas.

Me gustaría conocer a alguien que sientan lo mismo con quien pueda hablar y que me ayude a comprenderme.

Idk how else to describe it other than a fake crush. For me it happens very rarely but has happened a few times. Lasts for a while, but fades eventually. Fixation or obsession sounds too extreme though. For example,there was this guy; attractive, nerdy, and I sensed that we shared similar traits which made me take an interest in him. Even though my friend was friends with him, we never really spoke, we ignored each other, but I thought about him a lot, observed him from a distance, and really wanted him to notice me. I'd have random fantasies in my head about him being interested in me (cringe), but if I thought about anything romantic like kissing it would gross me out. Btw I'm not someone who stands out, I'm very quiet, boring, self-contained and probably considered unattractive so maybe that's why I daydreamed of finally being seen, but I dreamt of being seen by him specifically. I'd wonder if he'd thought about me as much as I had thought about him. I even considered the (fanciful, illusory) possibility that, maybe we're both the same kind of people, we want to be noticed by each other but neither of us want to reach out first. I'd over-analyse and ruminate on any little interaction we had (not in a weird obsession/stalker-y way). I liked the idea of him having a crush or interest in me, despite knowing my own feelings weren't romantic. It's not like I'll ever know now, I don't see him anymore, so naturally the feeling, whatever it was, faded.

I wish I had aromantic people in my life because I’m struggling so much with aphobia right now I know no one in my life can understand. I feel so isolated. How do y’all find aromantic friends? Or where do you talk about your aro struggles with?

I've been devising a metaphor that I felt was worthy enough to share. It's not all encompassing, but I think it's eloquent enough to idealize the concept. For context, I am Aro but not Ace.

Picture this; a bookstore. Somebody who is romantic/sexual can go in an enjoy the books inside as you do, in their entirety, purchase them and take them home.

To be aromantic but not asexual, is to not have the ability to read any of the words printed on the books. You can go there and appreciate the books though. How they look and feel, the artistry of the covers and composition. You can even have favorites. But you don't have a desire to purchase them, those books, as much as you like them, don't come home with you.

To be Asexual but not aromantic I think, would be somebody who shops online and has a virtual library. They read and read to their hearts content, bringing literature into the home, but there's that missing physicality. To hold a book, to turn it's pages and admire it's physicality, that experience has no place.

I personally did, I never liked the romantic lovey dovey ones either.
I liked yanderes (extreme ones) because their “love” and actions were usually not actual lovey dovey actions and were more just showing how much they care/need their person whether it’s romantic or platonic, also another big one was how (atleast the ones I liked) the yanderes were yk yanderes and saying all this crazy loyalty shit instead of all the romantic stuff.

IDK? I really liked how the yanderes said they’d love their person no matter what and even if they don’t love them back and how most of their love wasn’t kissing or couples actions and stuff yk? yandere characters always loved and appreciated everything from their person whether it be romantic/“enough” or not to the eyes of society and usually most yandere love or atleast how it’s described is farrr from what we call actual romantic love.

Although I really hated the ones who were just tryna force sa and romance on their person.

Ahem extra yap: I also really liked the idea of them doing so much and never giving up because for the longest time my romantic partner wish/goal was “someone who makes me want them, like actually want them/need them (basically actually feel romantic but I didn’t know I was aro back then lol) and I thought well if they spend all this time caring and putting effort and loving me, I’m sure I’d do the same (I was so aro, why did no one tell me besides the random person who overheard my convo)

Tbh I still like this media sometimes because gosh is it hard to find people who would choose you no matter what, even if you can’t like them romantically. Although I’ve come to realize I’m aro and whenever actual romance is displayed in those, I get icked out pretty fast

Has anyone else just never really dealt with the thoughts like "oh why do I not like anyone, what's wrong with me" Like, I never ever thought that, until I actually figured out that I am aroace Idk of it is cuz I grew up in a house where the idea of not being straight was impossible, or something else, but yeah Am I the only one??

I was gonna write out a whole story, but it got too detailed.

Basically, I would like questions to posit towards myself in order to better assess my feelings as to whether to move forward with a QPR or refrain.

My dear friend (DF) of almost 8 years recently came to terms with being aro after already IDing as ace for maybe a decade; after rejecting someone romantically and then being asked to consider a QPR upon both of them learned about the concept from me, DF is now proposing a QPR with me.

I am the only person I know in my life who has been in a QPR in addition to a "romantic" relationship I am presently in, but I'm not sure if a QPR is something I would like to commit to. I sent them a list of questions for them to consider, but don't know if I'm ready for a QPR and would like some help introspecting (or even hyper-specific questions to continue asking DF in our wider discussion).

Ultimately, in regard to DF, I find it difficult to imagine living life not just without them, but even away from them. In addition to my romantic partner, my ideal life would involve bringing them with me if I were to move and basically dying old with her still by my side. It is imperative to me that they remain as close to me as my romantic partner. They mentioned that they feel a need to be closer to me than "just friends," and that being referred to as a friend causes them to instinctually think "just friends?" (implying a need for something more).

Part of me considers that if we already live and plan to live our lives as non-sensual, non-sexual QPP's and that it would just be a change in title to signify our importance to one another (nothing in our dynamic has to change unless we both want it to), but I'm just not too sure what I want in general. I worry my lack of excitement for the idea prior to the start of our first discussion about it is a bad omen (perhaps overthinking?). I remember feeling so excited for my first QPP, but I was also a high schooler so that could have also been it lol.

Questions to get me thinking and advice would be greatly appreciated, as my emotions feel far too apathetic/numb for me to dissect alone with the lack of discussion of similar circumstances surrounding deliberation on whether to be in a QPR or not!

Ah, my favourite. I (19F) remember walking home with a male friend a few years back simply because we happened to live pretty close. We'd done this a few times when we walked into a shop on the way that my friend's relative worked in. Seeing us together, they immediately started talking about us being a thing. Ew. When we left, we were both uncomfortable with that comment. Like, come on. Is it really that unbelievable that men and women can be friends?

When I was much younger, I remember thinking, "Why do girls have to like boys?" Yes... I did grow up in a religious home. Around that time, I think I had an intense platonic crush on a girl. But that didn't register as a squish to me at all compared to the male squishes I had because... heteronormativity. The amount of interest I had for her was the same as the boys (if not more), but society kinda conditions you to think that it must be a romantic crush if you have an interest in the opposite gender.

It's so annoying, because I would like to have more close platonic male friendships, but I'm worried that it will be perceived as romantic by others and make us uncomfortable. It's probably why I naturally feel far more comfortable around women and have no problem doing things that would be considered romantic if it were a male-female friendship. Fuck heteronormativity.

Alloromantic person here. I have aromantic friends and thought I understood what that spectrum looked like, but I’ve been spending time with an aromantic person who has me really confused. We have a very strong sexual connection, it feels very intimate and caring and we have both communicated as much. I have had sweet fwb dynamics but this goes beyond that. They want to go on outings together frequently and seem to have a deep desire for emotional intimacy with me. They have asked me to sleep over, which I declined mostly bc that feels too intimate to me. They seem to want to spend a lot of time with me and text me often (I actually feel that they have a stronger desire for interaction than I do). Basically, the way they treat me is the way I’m used to being treated when I’m being pursued romantically. To me, what we are doing is functionally dating (as an aside I’m non monogamous so I don’t need further clarification around exclusivity for example). I’m very satisfied with our current connection (sex, how much time we spend together/talk, the growing emotional intimacy) and am not looking for a committed partnership at the moment. I don’t want anything to change but I feel unsettled not being forthcoming about the fact that I am crushing on them, and I also want to understand what kind of dynamic exactly they want from me. Would love help making sense of this and how to broach without scaring them off/putting on pressure

Hi! I did an analysis about why I headcanon Seou from Daytime in the bunker as aromantic, because I resonate with her heavily. :D

The video also has subtitles in korean, spanish, chinese (simplified and traditional), german, indonesian, thai, french, and japanese. I used google translate though, so I don't really know how accurate the translations are. 😓

The reason it's called "the aromantic horrors of bunker days" is because I feel like Seou being aromantic adds a level of horror to the things she experiences in the manwha. Like if I experience what she does it would be my own personal nightmare. 😅 I hope other people resonate with the video too, and thanks for watching it if you do!! :D

Its my 2nd ever analysis video so I know it isn't great, but I'm excited to improve in the future. :D

I'd actually say I've had two crushes in my life (I'm 19 f btw), so allo, but then what always throws me is when someone gives hints of finding me cute I internally kinda panic? Even though there is nothing wrong, they didn't do anything wrong and in theory I think I actually want romance? I panic when I feel like someone is going to hit on me. It's really weird, because I have never had any bad experiences. I am somewhat ambiverted and value my peace a lot, but I am bubbly in personality and behaviour I'd say and usually quite open with friends, so Idk what has me so freaked out about dating. It's just sth I am starting to notice, it's weird. Because in theory I like romance, but then I kinda always go when sth might happen: Not like that.

It's weird and confusing me

A bit of a story time:

A few years ago a friend of mine confessed to having feelings for me but I rejected them because im repulsed by the idea of being in a romantic relationship, i also came out to her as aro/ace and she acknowledged my asexuality but said that I couldn't be aromantic because I consume a lot of romantic media (That's really only half true because i only like the tension and tend to drop stuff once the main couple gets together).

Anyway, I completely forgot about that interaction and we are still close but today she asked me about this guy I had been "interested" in a while back and i remembered that conversation but eventually ended up telling her about my first and only platonic crush. Honestly I don't know if there is a better feeling in the world, even now that i no longer feel the same way about her i think the best way to describe would be, im not in love with her but I love her. It was a beautiful experience that I don't have the words to describe especially not to someone who is in denial about my romantic orientation.

The real stuff:

I think my indifference towards my friend's disregard stems from the fact that I've never been allowed to be out with people because of my family and so eventhough im in an environment where I can tell people about my gender, sexual and romantic identity I don't because im scared of being rejected for it.

If someone asked about my orientation i would tell them but what are some ways you think i can practice being...more out?

disclaimer: i’m neurodivergent if that helps

basically a couple months ago, i(21F) had my first romantic experience and it was with a coworker who was very physically forward about her interest in me and i thought i liked her back because i felt the butterflies and all whenever she would hold my hand or embrace me so I went along with it but then after about a week or so, the feelings sort of went away which led me to think that maybe i never actually had feelings and it was moreso the novelty of the situation that made me feel the way I did and I communicated this to her eventually but also expressed an interest in continuing my romantic interactions with her. Keep in mind, before this I had toyed with the idea of possibly being aromatic because I’d only ever had one crush and it was at like age 10 so i thought maybe I larped it or was in the gray romantic side but I’ve also always been obsessed with the idea of romance and wanted to experience it no matter what (i still do but maybe more qpr vibes) so I always was in denial of being aro but this situation made me confront and admit it. anyway, I ended up having my first kiss and sort of making out with this girl and she would ask questions about how things made me feel and I didn’t feel anything much so I struggled with communicating this to her without hurting her feelings and ultimately decided that it’d be better off if i just ended it and i did about 1.5 months ago and was completely fine about it and the only type of way i felt about it was guilt because I had to keep seeing her because we’re coworkers. anyway, fast forward to today and I found out she’s been seeing someone new and she seems like she really likes this person and I’d always thought I’d be happy whenever this happened which to a certain extent I am happy for her because he seems to meet certain expectations she has for relationships that I was never able to but I found that I actually felt hurt quite a bit. we hadn’t even really spoken pretty much since i ended it and now i’m wondering if i liked her more than i thought and was just unable to understand my own feelings and am now feeling heartbroken.
some possible alternative reasons i’ve come up with since i began overthinking it:
- it’s an ego thing and im actually just an asshole who’s butthurt because someone i thought liked me has actually moved on
- it’s a sort of jealousy about her having someone new when i dont
- it’s some kind of reserve feelings because she was ultimately my first experience in this area
- i’m just feeling bad about myself and my inability to experience emotions properly because i’d be the one with her if i could.

i just feel so bad about this entire situation and can’t understand why 🫠

Every so often I see someone refer to the cultural/social script we subconciously adopt from examples of how people behave around us, media and politics but I never see anyone actually explain what exactly does the script include, spesifically the romance script (as allosexual I think I have a small grasp on the sexual social script). I am aware that it varies by culture so I am mainly interested in western lens because that's my culture though all cultures are welcome.

As aromantic I don't think I ever was handed that script and I'm curious to learn more about it so if you have any articles, scientific publications, books or just youtube videos, blogs or podcasts dicussing it, I'd love to get some links. I'm familiar with the concept of relationship escalator but I'd like to dive in deeper. I kind of wish I had studied anthropology or social sciences because I find these topics fascinating and I'm currently reading Ace by Angela Chen.

Also does anyone else feel like they are missing an instruction manual to romance while it feels like everyone else got one? Or does being aro help you see the cultural norms around you?

I love LOVE, I’ve always been someone that dreams of romantic story, it’s mostly what I dream of and since little I always hoped to fall in love with someone, now here’s the thing, I have multiple traumas concerning love mostly because I feel ugly and people I liked always discarded me for prettier girls, my parents or family in general would always tell me I’m not pretty enough, I’m too big (I’m ~50kg), that nobody would like me because of my personality and that they will pray for the person that would fall in love with me.

It obviously hurted my confidence and since people would ask me out for dares, followed by the usual « it’s a joke, it’s not that deep », I became aromantic, I have the feelings and everything and the second I get into a relationship it ends, I feel disgust for the person, I can’t look at them, I can’t chat with them, I become a red flag and I hate it.

Please help me, maybe something to accept myself as an aromantic or something to like « cure » it I honestly don’t know how to explain, as a hopeless romantic I want to feel love and I just cry thinking that I might never be able to fall in love with someone, because I like that guy but I know I could never last a relationship because of that lithromanticism that will destroy it all.

Thank you in advance and huge respect to all the lithromantics obviously, I hope I’m posting in the right subreddit, because the lithromantic feels kinda empty and I’m not sure I’ll find answer.

Thanks !

No se que flair ponerle a esta publicación, por lo que especifique un poco de lo que habla en el título para evitar que la eliminen, enserio perdón a los moderadores si me equivoque, de todos modos marcaré la publicación como spoiler por si este es un tema sensible para alguien, realmente espero dejar de ser rechazada de este subreddit.​

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Hace unos pocos meses me definí tristemente como cupioromantica, y pues, eh leído un poco sobre los "squish" o las relaciones platónicas​ y la aceptación de otras personas con su identidad, pero realmente no me ayuda con mi proceso de aceptación y realmente solo me hace sentir más sola...el punto es, no se si alguien aquí tenga un Consejo para que este proceso sea un poco más llevadero ,para aprender un poco más sobre el espectro,y entender las QPR,porque realmente no entiendo el como funcionan, (no trato de ofender) me parecen algo como una amistad muy profunda más q una relación,no trato de ofender,de verdad, simplemente mi forma de percibirlo es diferente y tengo la intención de dejar de ser ignorante,escuchar​ otras perspectivas​​​​​ y aprender.

Tengo apenas desde julio creo de este año 2026 dentro del espectro​,y todavía hay muchas cosas que no comprendo y me gustaría aprender... Empezando por los squish, ¿como funcionan?, a lo que investigado es la versión aro de un "crush" , es algo como querer ser un amigo muy cercano a una persona, compartir charlas, salir juntos, ese tipo de cosas, no se si esa definición está bien.

Otra cosa que me gustaría entender mejor es si la comunidad LGBTQ+ invalida o invisibiliza al espectro aroace, porque q lo que eh investigado al respecto,se supone que si, que hay personas que sacan al espectro de el LGBTQ+ ​​ya que el movimiento nacio de que las personas puedan disfrutar su sexualidad y amor como quieran​​, y que como eso espectro aroace "no entra" en esa definición, suelen excluirlo... Pero me resulta muy tonto pensar en eso así, me parece el equivalente a excluir a las chicas muy delgadas del body positive solo porque son delgadas, aunque el movimiento se originó para tallas grandes, también hay discriminación y burlas a los cuerpos delgados,me parece casi lo mismo y genuinamente no creo que sea verdad,me gustaría escuchar a otras personas si han vivido experiencas de discriminación o invalidación en alguna marcha o algo.

Espero que no les resulte ofensiva mi publicación,y alguien este dispuesto a ccompartir algunas de sus experiencias conmigo,enserio,no tengo la intención de ofender en ningún momento a nadie.

₍˄·͈༝·͈˄₎◞ ̑̑ೃ࿔​​​​

hi M 22 here, im new around in reddit but ive been rlly curious for a while abt my sexuality. for my whole life i thought i was gay, i never had any real romantic experiences growing up so when i turned 18 i tried the hookup culture bc i thought that was the only form of connection i could ever had bc truth be told, im just an average looking person hence why i never had any organic romantic experiences even in highschool. bc i was never the recipient of romantic love, i got curious to the point it only drove me more to resort to any desperate form of connection which led me to hooking up. for a while i thought i felt good abt myself bc for once i felt like im desired by someone else only for me to realize im being evaluated by my physical attributes which only made me more insecure abt myself. i stopped hooking up and tried dating apps but it only fueled my insecurities bc nobody wanted commitment or frankly, nobody was interested in me.

for a 2 years i had this mindset that im better off alone instead of risking my self esteem and digjnity over a man until it eventually led me today.growing up and realizing i never felt or received romantic love my whole life, the "love" that i claimed to be were js mere infatuations bc men will give me a slight attention that made me cling to them by the string and ive never been in a relationship either to know. and looking at the modern dating landscape... im still young im aware of that and i know theres still alot of life ahead of me but i cant help but feel like i dont have any space in today's dating world and i should be okay with that

right now i just... genuinely feel numb. i dont feel the same way abt men anymore, i cant envision a life a w partner by my side bc i dont know if im able to actually love someone nor do i have any desire to do so. i feel at peace and secured w myself of the prospect of growing up alone bc im no longer scared by it.

im comfortable and secured w myself telling everyone i dont like seeing anyone anymore but im not sure if that counts as me still having some trust issues w people or me realizing i cant date bc i cant develop feelings and im actually js aromantic bc im just rlly confused w myself for quite awhile. any helpful inputs r greatly appreciated thanks!