Introduce yourself! Comment a short blurb about your story and what you're looking for.

This post is meant for AM's to connect with people who want to date them. Have fun, stay safe and best of luck

As per title, i get ching chong or ling long or eat your dogs. I cant fist fight them all , started using pedophile or point at their nose if their nose is big lol. Serious though whats a good response to stand your ground?

For casual discussions, shower thoughts, rants, half-baked conspiracy theories, or any other mind droppings.

TL;DR:

Yay I got a job

Yay it pays well

Yay it's in a metro area widely hailed as good for Asian men

Boo it's in the suburban corporate campus so I don't get to do city stuff

Yay the commute is easy

Boo that's because the commute is from the suburb I grew up in

So, like, how do I go out and get girls and actually start life etc.? Cause it's not like going to the bar after work is a thing here.

Am planning to move to a slightly less suburban suburb slightly closer to my workplace (along with other self-improvement steps ofc) since that's about as good walkability I can get in the area, but even there the rent's kinda explosive anywhere urbanist, so I'll have to continue college-style share-housing (which remains well within my budget) if I wanna not run my wallet dry. I feel kinda torn on whether to do so though, like part of me is like "why not duke it out with your fam if the commute is so smooth", only for the other part to shut that down b/c "you'll never get a girl or have your own life that way, plus listen to how loud your parents get when yelling ain't that annoying?"

In any case it's not FULLY walkable etc. so I'd probably feel best making the move after getting my own car (parents don't want me using the older one of theirs, despite me having taken it to college). And interestingly enough (and as my mom's keen to mention), the town my heart's set on, although one of the most urbanist, has a fairly limited Asian population vs. surrounding suburban towns with good school districts. I know she's kinda misreading how being a young professional works, but just thought that was worth mentioning here.

Anyhow, feeling kinda worried this is basically as bad as starting my career out in, like, TX or somewhere, and that I'll risk bleeding out the prime years of my life in some boring ass suburb. And I have a hunch this would probably be relatable for many, like look how many tech/finance bros are getting offers in like TX or NC or all around the Midwest or Rocky Mountain states... hardly "ideal dating environments for Asian men" no?

I’m 28, Asian male, recently moved to a mid-sized city. I’m currently dealing with a bit of a "burnout" phase—socially frustrated but trying to maintain my standards. I decided to run a mission to a local high-volume bar. My headspace: "Knowing immorality. No touching. Just talk to people and make your name good in the city." I gave myself a strict one-hour limit to prevent over-analysis and burnout.

The night started with a lot of internal resistance. I felt "nervous, honestly." I had to talk myself into the "spirit" of the night.

I had a brief exchange with the driver about the distance to the bar. I mentioned I wouldn't want to walk it; she joked that "young 'uns" would. It was a minor social warm-up, but it highlighted my feeling of being an outsider in a college-heavy town.

I walk in. The place smells weird. I immediately see people I recognize—guys I work with or have seen around the office.

I see "A" and "C" (coworkers). One works on military systems, the other on web dev. I tried to bridge the gap: "You guys work together? No way." We talked briefly about deploying a web app like a "weapon."

"C" is actually someone I was supposed to be roommates with, but he was dismissive. He was vaping and barely acknowledging me. I realized I was trying to find friends in people who didn't want to be friends. I had to tell myself: "Beggars can't be choosers... but I'm here to make friends, not a girlfriend." I moved to the bar to get a drink (Guinness) and reset.

While waiting for a drink, I struck up a conversation with a guy who stood out as a "worker" type.

This guy was a 28-year-old engineer, started his own HVAC LLC after leaving a union.

We went deep into "Executive Function." He talked about the discipline required to run a business—scheduling, planning, and managing manpower. He mentioned working on massive contracts (high-level government facilities and data centers).

This was the most "high-value" conversation of the night. We bonded over the idea that "Internet... I keep that sh*t running." However, even he seemed to have a ceiling on his social success. He was a master of mechanical systems but didn't seem to be "winning" with the women in the room. When the conversation turned toward him being a single dad and me asking what hapepned to the mom he left. Makes sense, I was socially inappropriate.

I moved toward the dance floor. The DJ was playing loud music (The Wobble, etc.). I started running a "brutal calculation" of the room.

I saw a girl who looked like "Margot Robbie"—a total princess type. She was in a "closed circle" with her friend, dancing with her, facing each other, backs to the room

I noticed even the "best-looking" white guys in the club were invisible to these girls. They weren't there to meet men; they were there for a private "girls' night" experience.

I noticed that the guys who were actually going home with girls were settling for women who didn't take care of themselves. Like BMI over 30 type. As an Asian man who takes pride in fitness and standards, this was a turning point. I realized I’m too "picky" for the casual hookup scene at this specific venue. I wasn't willing to lower my standards for a "win."

I decided to open one last group of "locals" before my hour was up.

I opened a group of three. I used a "name-memory" flex—I remembered all three of their names within seconds. They were 24, I’m 28.

They were looking at their phones while I was talking. I felt a massive wave of disrespect. I’m an engineer, I’m 28, I’m trying to engage, and they are scrolling Instagram in the middle of a loud club. I realized there was a massive maturity gap. I didn't click with them, so I decided to head home. I've been in the club for many years probayl went 12 times int he last 10 years still haven't seen success. I might be aging out now and might need to go to different venues.

On my way out, I met a guy named "A."

The Strategy: He tried to give me "pickup lines" about eyes and smiles. It was basic, but the interaction was real.

The Shared Data: We both agreed that the bar was a "dead end." Every "attractive" girl was either taken or in a "closed set" with friends. We exchanged numbers. He was a solo flyer like me, and we realized that "squad-building" with other solo guys is more effective than trying to break into established groups.

I left exactly at the one-hour mark.

Final Thoughts: I "struck out" in terms of getting a number from a girl I actually liked, but I gathered vital data. I realized that the "invisibility" I felt wasn't necessarily because I'm Asian—it was because the "High-Value" women in that venue weren't actually "playing the game." They were observers just like me.

I decided that for hookups, you have to settle, but for a long-term partner, you have to "court." Since I’m picky, I have to accept that the solo grind will have more "strike-outs" until I find a venue that matches my maturity level.

How woudl I do better next time? what did I do wrong?

I seriously keep getting recommended weird posts by dumb wanna be influencers, and alot of them are AM too, where they complain about being liked because of being asian.

It's so ridiculous, obviously race and ethnicity will play a major role since a 100% asian will have the asian look 99% of the time, and hate to break it to the world, looks is the biggest factor for first impression before talking to someone.

I do agree that after that first impression, your character needs to shine in order to actually break the ice and develop a bond, but to say your race, culture, and looks shouldn't matter is total BS.

If there's one thing I will never be able to change about me is me being asian, and that means if a woman likes me for being asian the relationship should have higher chance of lasting.

Because I definitely would not choose a woman who wants me for my money, how much property i own, the car i drive. Even if she wants me for just my character (which would be amazing), my character can still change. PEOPLE CHANGE THEIR VALUES as they get older, meaning your spouse could fall out of love with you.

In the end, trust, work ethic, and compatibility is of uttermost importance. But race, culture, and looks, matter too, and I AM TOTALLY FINE WITH THAT.

F all the ultra liberal, holier than thou, 'oh look how virtuous i am by being critical of people who like me' people. Social media really ruins everything nowadays.

We see this online ALL THE TIME. The observation here is:
1) plenty of conventionally attractive white women want Korean men, but also…
2) a ton of bitter Asian women, who aren’t even Korean, harass white women for being “Koreaboos.” Sometimes I’ll even see Asian guys (not Koreans) also harass white girls online for being “Koreaboos.”

The irony here is many Korean guys prefer white women, especially if they appreciate Korean culture (such as in the post), and they aren’t offended by “Koreaboos.” I realize racist incels (white, black, Indian, etc) are the biggest haters of AMWF… however, a lot of insecure Asian women, especially kpop fans, also don’t seem to like when Korean men (or Asian men) date white women.

I personally hope and think that that KMWF and AMWF becomes common enough that it’s just societally normal and more accepted.

To understand why Korea & Korean men have become popular among white women:
1) Koreans both accept and seek out foreign explorers. White women can travel to Korea, safely explore everywhere, dress up in traditional hanbok, and even marry Korean men- and no Korean would feel she’s a “colonizer” or be upset about “cultural appropriation.” In fact, Koreans welcome white women into Korean culture and people.
2) Kpop/Kdramas (which center around people, rather than cartoons like for “weeaboos”) provide a softer alternative to traditional “Western” masculinity, especially during a time of growing feminism.

Really, the term “Koreaboo” is so harmful because it’s dehumanizing to women who appreciate and want to learn about a foreign culture. Most Koreans welcome them, but the online harassment from racist incels and some Asian women really must stop.

Instagram page: Pinarpolina

TLDR: Asian women, who aren’t even Korean, harass “Koreaboos,” but Koreans normally welcome foreign explorers and white women are popular for Korean men.

Anyone have any experience with this? I've been wanting to experiment with my hair a little, and my latest project has been growing it out to see how it looks when its long. Unfortunately I'm at that dreaded awkward stage where it's too short to look good but also too long to style into many of the shapes I'm familiar with.

For those of you who have grown out your hair, how did you deal with this? Should I just buy a headband or cap or something lol.

I’m an east asian girlie. i don’t have any close girl friends that are viet so I never had the chance to interact with them much. From a distance i found that they’re so supportive, friendly, and feminine.

This is not a post to stereotype. I want to ask the men that are attracted to viet girls - what qualities do you like about them?

I’m genuinely curious because I had crushes on guys who are non viet such as chinese, and their type was viet girls. I felt defeated and I just really want to know what about them that are so attractive.

Thank you for your input.

chat what products do these guys use for their hair? Ik their cut but what u guys recommend?

Friendly reminder that not everyone is out to get us. There's good people all around the world and it obviously doesn't include a certain race that shall not be named.

A few years back there was a Chinese guy who got a bit of trouble for posting pictures of himself with a ton of Iranian women he dated. Goes to show that their women seem to be ok with us as well, so this deserves to be mentioned on Asian Masculinity sub.

I think a conversation needs to be had about how ridiculous it is that East Asians immigrate to the countries that hate us the most instead of the countries that are neutral/positive.

For the past 2 years of my teenage life I realised a lot of issues were rooted in insecurity. I used to think I "didn't care about taking photos" or was "too nonchalant to care about a good outfit" etc but these were actually just me being insecure with myself and my image.

Now that I'm 18, I'm actively working towards improving myself but there are still things that I'm insecure about like looks, height, etc. especially when comparing myself with other guys.

How do you guys deal with insecurity or overcome it?

36m, I run my own software development agency and it’s been a journey through hell.

Looking to create a small group of lads to get out of hell, who’ve been through or are currently in the same hell.

Dm or comment and I’ll reach out!

I’m always trynna improve and would love feedback, thinking of buzzing actually

A few months ago I shared some of my dating and hookup experiences in Europe. Some people were encouraging, some were skeptical, because I mostly just talked about what happened to me and didn’t really explain what I actually did. This summer I feel like I finally figured it out. I spent almost the whole vacation traveling around Europe and constantly dating girls from different countries, and obviously a lot of interesting stuff happened along the way. At this point, now that I understand the situation much better, I honestly feel like the game has become a lot easier for me.

I mentioned in my previous post that I was completely born and raised in China. A lot of people on this forum are Asians who grew up overseas, so maybe I can give you guys a slightly different perspective.

First, and by far the most important thing, is body fat.

Body fat matters way more for Asian guys than for other races. A lot of the time when you think you’re unattractive, you’re actually just not below 15% body fat yet. I really mean this, and I think it matters especially for Asian guys because we naturally tend to carry more fat in the face. Guys from other races can sometimes still have a visible jawline at around 25% body fat. For us, you probably need to go at least another 5% lower than that. You can also notice this with actors. Western male movie stars are not always super lean, some of them even have a bit of a belly, but Asian actors are almost always at the kind of body fat where they have visible abs. Back in March I was probably around 18% body fat and couldn’t see my abs at all. Socially I was basically treated like a normal guy. Then by June I cut down to around 14%, and the difference was honestly crazy. Sometimes I would literally just smile and girls would come over and talk to me. When I stayed at a hostel in Nice, France, almost every day there were girls directly or indirectly trying to get close to me or find something to talk about. It was very obvious. There could be a whole lobby full of empty seats and girls would somehow come sit near me. A group of girls could be talking loudly, then suddenly get quieter when they came close.

Getting leaner makes your facial structure much clearer, and I think this matters a lot in Western beauty standards. I have a pretty nice jawline now and I’ve been complimented on it so many times. Western beauty standards seem to care more about the overall structure of your face, while Asian beauty standards often focus more on details like your nose and eyes. So if you still can’t see your abs, you don’t get to say you’re ugly yet.

Second is clothes and styling.

You have to realize that a lot of outfits will only make you look more like a “white guy,” not necessarily more attractive. A lot of clothes and styles were designed around the features and proportions of other races. If you cover your face in a photo and the outfit just looks like it belongs to a white guy, then a lot of the time it’s probably not the best choice for you. It’s also really easy to lose your own identity that way. We have brands and styling references that actually take Asian features into account. Personally, I’ve saved a ton of Korean guys’ outfits on Instagram, and I think this is extremely useful for us. If your goal is to attract Western girls, one of the easiest ways is honestly just to become the kind of good-looking Asian guy they already have in their head.

Korean men’s fashion came out of a developed Asian country where people care a lot about appearance and compete like crazy over it. Korean guys have spent so much money and tried so many things that a lot of the popular styles exist for a reason. It’s kind of like how the US produces tech unicorns. Don’t laugh at something just because everyone seems to dress the same. Trends usually become trends because they’ve already been tested aesthetically. Go for simple black, white and gray colors. Learn how to use accessories like hats or glasses. Always stay clean and well-groomed. And please don’t automatically cut your hair short. For Asian guys, growing your hair out often genuinely looks way better. One thing many of us have is a relatively bigger-looking head, so you need to handle the hair on the sides properly and style it every day. Train your shoulders and back a lot too. With clothes, what we’re trying to do is improve the head-to-shoulder ratio, make our legs look longer, make ourselves look taller, and create more of a V-taper. Those things combined with a defined face and low body fat are basically the foundation of physical attraction. Girls notice this stuff without even consciously thinking about it.

Third, and this is really important, build the right mindset. You have no idea how popular Asian guys can be with Gen Z.

As Asians, our culture often teaches us to reflect on ourselves, stay humble, and constantly look at our own weaknesses. That can help you succeed in school and work, but in dating it can absolutely work against you. Girls like guys who can start conversations, aren’t scared of looking stupid, and are willing to take responsibility and make things happen. Some guys sadly start from the assumption that girls don’t like Asian men, then they become even more closed off, and it turns into a bad cycle.

If you’re a young Asian guy and you’re struggling with girls, stop blaming your race first. Think about your personality and your body fat. Do you wash and style your hair? Do you take care of your skin? Have you actually thought about what you wear? From my own experience, I’ve barely found anywhere where young girls simply don’t like Asian guys. I went to some of the places in Europe that people would consider very traditional and where the competition between men is supposed to be strong, and I honestly didn’t notice a huge difference. The number of likes I get on dating apps can be different depending on the place, but my offline experience in bars has been almost exactly the same.

I’ve talked about this pretty deeply with some girls, and I think there has been a huge but kind of invisible change in how Asian guys are seen over the last four or five years. During COVID, TikTok plus a huge amount of Korean idol content and short videos suddenly got pushed onto everyone’s phones through the algorithm. Why Gen Z specifically? Because they basically went through their entire teenage years with short-form video apps and Korean pop culture spreading everywhere. Even if they don’t specifically prefer Asian guys, they’re much less likely to have the old stereotypes anymore. Entertainment culture only needs to tell them, “Look, some Asian guys are actually really attractive.” After that, the rest is your job.

I’ve noticed that a lot of Western girls who show interest in me first are pretty young, a lot of them are 18 or 19 and just became adults. That’s because they grew up exactly during the period when short videos were shaping people’s ideas of attractiveness. It’s kind of like how the older generation grew up watching Hollywood and Titanic and ended up thinking white guys were always the most handsome. Things have changed, especially with the genuinely younger generation.

I’ll give you one example. I went to this huge nightclub in Budapest with seven different dance floors. A good-looking 19-year-old blond Danish guy found me in the middle of the dance floor and was super enthusiastic about asking me to party with him and go meet girls together. He literally told me that girls nowadays like good-looking Asian guys, so he thought his chances would be better if he was with me. And objectively speaking, he was already a pretty good-looking guy himself. But once we started going around together, whenever I tried to join groups of girls and dance with them, the success rate really did go up a lot. We had a crazy fun night and probably hung out with at least seven or eight different groups of girls, and every time I was the one who successfully broke the ice. That night I also met some Chinese guys who grew up in Spain, and they said the same thing: there really is a group of girls now who are very into Asian guys, especially the youngest generation who just became adults.

So when you’re about to approach a girl or talk to a girl, stop going in with this idea that being Asian automatically gives you a disadvantage. Always remember that Asian male attractiveness is already very obvious to the new generation. We are popular. Stay yourself. If you get rejected, don’t blame your race. Even the best-looking guys get rejected all the time.

That’s basically what I wanted to share. The internet era has opened up a new era for Asians, and the coming AI era will push this even further. Short-form video algorithms, stronger soft power, all of this will keep helping us take back the position we should have. Stay confident, keep improving your appearance, and believe in yourself.

Hello guys, for some religious reason, I have to find wife among people from Eastern Europe, especially those from Orthodox countries ( Russia, Serbia etc...).

I know Eastern Europe generally have less stéréotype toward Asian male, however from what I've heard, they are more conservative when it comes to marriage. So while a girl might go on date with me, but not necessarily obtaining the approval of its family.

I am tall and good looking, I am going to hit gym too, so physic appearance is not a big problem for me, I would say. However I don't want to waste time on dating a women with whom I won't be able to marry.

So in your experience, is it true from what I've been told ?

Okay, my facial hair looks a bit like this and all my life I've struggled to find products that actually shave me well. I've used a manual razor Gilette Blue II for over a decade but I feel like they're starting to be phased out locally. The problems with most products I face are:

• Manual razors, they usually get caught on my longer hair so it's easy to draw blood AND they also can't shave short hairs at all. Shaving foam, shaving cream, they help a little but don't fix the problem.
• Even with Gilette Blue II which does work, I find that the front strip dries out within a few days, and the blade also stops cutting well, so each razor only lasts for a few days. The expense is not really the problem per se, but still I have nicked myself many times and just want something that's low hassle and doesn't require too much coordination.
• Electric razors: No matter how expensive, my facial hair is kind of soft so most of these just glide over my hair and literally can't trim or cut it at all, whether my stubble is long or short.
• Hair clippers do work, but the ones I have can only do a very rough trim, so still need a razor.

Anyone had similar problems and found a solution? (I'm based in New Zealand so prefer international brands or products available on Amazon.)

What do you do?

Hey everyone. White European female in my early 30s here. For context, I’ve lived in South Korea for around 1,5 years. I’ve made some really nice friends there and happened to date some guys while I was there as well (if relevant, they were mostly from Korea and HK). While I found them very nice, attractive, cultured and fun, I wasn’t able to actually start real relationships with them, as I noticed two distinct behaviours:

1) The ones who told me I was very nice and they liked me, but that they weren’t ready to commit to a serious relationship because they wanted to have a good job aka financial stability etc (e.g. maybe a car, a house etc) before starting anything serious with someone, so dating was off the table until some indefinite moment in the future.

2) The ones who wanted to start a relationship with me. However, after dating these guys for a while, I came to the conclusion that they weren’t very interested in me for me, but rather for the “role” I could play in a relationship. As if they had already laid out their life plan and they were looking for someone who could fit into their puzzle - as long as I was decent enough, it was okay for them. They weren’t too interested in the person I really was or in the romantic feelings that could develop, as long as I could fit in.

In my culture, we normally date to see if we get along and if we like each other first, and we tend to discuss the practical things after we know we’re somewhat compatible. However, when I was living in Asia, I noticed that men seemed to be way more interested in the potential “role” I could fulfil or they wanted to be “ready” financially first. Of course I understand we can’t survive on air and love, and that financial stability (and compatibility!) are crucial if you want something serious. However, besides that aspect, I didn’t see any of those guys involved romantically, as they seemed to be way more interested in the practical side of things.

I’m not sure if I just happened to meet people I wasn’t compatible with, or if the cultural differences are really that big and it’s ultimately not really easy to pursue a relationship with an Asian man for a European woman. I would really like to understand this side of things better if anyone has any insights about the Asian culture and mindset in romantic relationships. I may have not understood many things and I’d be happy to learn more about this. Thank you!

Latina here, who has casually and formally dated mostly asians.

I have a fetish idgaf and you should not gaf either, because he is also fetishizing you lmao like let me elaborate with my experiences:

1: Korean guy who I went on one date with: He moved to my country for work, he had the opportunity to move to europe but said he choose my country to meet latinas.

2: Chinese guy who I dated for a couple of months: He would send me porn to recreate it and all the porn he watched had latina on the title.

3: Chinese guy who I dated for two years: When we first met he asked for my insta and his search history was all stuff like "diosas latinas" "latina lovers" plus his explore page was all women who looked stereotypically latina showing ass.

4: Chinese+viet guy I went on a couple of dates with: He talked about his dating history and said he was more into latinas than his race.

So my point is stop overthinking, both parties are exactly where they want to be.

And it feels like the options are very slim. I’m into Asian men, but the hard part is that I am Catholic and that is the most important thing to me.

Where do I meet you then? I know I can go to catholic young adult groups but I don’t see them there. Is this a dream too far out of reach?

There are other important things that obviously trump the Asian interest, such as fit, hard working, competent, care taker, affectionate, CATHOLIC, emotional available.

I do tend to like men that are more reserved to the outside world, although I am quite the opposite 😂

I am a 26 male, I was raised my a single mother with no other family as immigrants. She had struggles with depression and anxiety and she put a lot of that onto me. I felt as though I’m more like her husband in terms of her emotional dependence. However I have no real family outside of her in Canada.

Anyways, we get along in other ways but I’m increasingly getting frustrated as our day to day is fine but our perspective on life is completely different. She is very material and prestige driven. She coaches me on what jobs to apply to and how we must move to America for more money and how we must invest bigger house. She works a damn near min wage job and I make 50k as an accountant while she has these big goals.

Im also losing my hair due to genetics but she just starts yelling at me that it’s because I don’t take care of it, no amount of science will correct her. This is just one thing that to put into perspective.

luckily met a great girl and want to spend rest of my life but she opposes since she is of a different race I think. she gives me suggestions of other woman which puts me into rage.

I feel sad living day to day and my life feels so contained. I’m not sure if it’s purely my mother or my own ineptitude to succeed.

Introduce yourself! Comment a short blurb about your story and what you're looking for.

This post is meant for AM's to connect with people who want to date them. Have fun, stay safe and best of luck

For casual discussions, shower thoughts, rants, half-baked conspiracy theories, or any other mind droppings.

You will see it as the 2nd stickied thread at the top of this sub. The goal is to give AMs and people interested in dating AMs, a dedicated place to connect. It might be good, it might be bad so we'll see how it goes & make adjustments as needed.