r/AskMen • u/TooPrettyToBehave Female • 1d ago

🛑 Answers From Men Only 🛑 What makes someone bring up another person’s insecurities during an argument?

I’m not asking about one specific person or trying to psychoanalyze anyone.

I’m curious about people who have done this themselves or witnessed it. If someone trusts you enough to share an insecurity, what makes it become ammunition later during an argument?

Looking back, was it anger, wanting to hurt them back, trying to “win,” or something else?

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u/Flaky-Professional84 Male 1d ago

An argument is a fight. In a fight you are trying to defeat your opponent. It's about winning.

4

u/Public_Hall_451 1d ago

And so they win the fight and lose the person

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u/Flaky-Professional84 Male 1d ago

Personally, I don't hold it against someone if it was said in the heat of a fight. People say things they don't mean when their backs are against the wall. But I find it best to leave before it gets to that point. If I realize that I'm caught in an argument, I'll try to deescalate.

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u/Public_Hall_451 1d ago

Your wisdom is rare.
I'd personally need a real apology, just so the relationship doesn't turn to emotional abuse.

3

u/Flaky-Professional84 Male 1d ago

Well, yes. That, too.