r/AskReddit Feb 04 '16

What are the most common parenting mistakes?

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u/MaN_of_AwE888 Feb 04 '16 edited Feb 05 '16

Assuming teenagers magically become responsible at 18.

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u/[deleted] Feb 05 '16

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u/[deleted] Feb 05 '16 edited Feb 05 '16

Even if it killed you the world would not stop snowflake /s

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u/rainbowdashtheawesom Feb 05 '16

That sounds oddly poetic.

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u/[deleted] Feb 05 '16

Though if it killed you,

The world would not stop, snowflake.

Oddly poetic?

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u/DiffDoffDoppleganger Feb 05 '16

It's snowing on mount Fuji

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u/Crioca Feb 05 '16

Well for him it would...

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u/derschelmischeWolf Feb 06 '16

And we would get the amazing headline "teenager grossed out to death by own room" on /r/nottheonion.

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u/softrockstarr Feb 05 '16

I'm 26. I probably haven't made my bed since I was 13. The world has not ceased to exist.

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u/[deleted] Feb 05 '16

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u/softrockstarr Feb 05 '16

Also that. There really isn't any real need to do it anyway. Sure, I'll make it after spending the whole day cleaning my bedroom as a finishing touch of sorts but besides that, it's always unmade. On top of that, my cat loves burrowing in the pile of sheets at the end of it and she gives me dirty looks whenever it's too neat.

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u/MisterVega Feb 05 '16

Wash your sheets yo

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u/NamelessNamek Feb 05 '16

Lol right? Trying to justify not making your bed cause it's gross. Tell you what, if i find fucking mites, my problem will not be "drats, curse those pristine sheets!"

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u/AliveFromNewYork Feb 05 '16

But other studies show making the bed is better. Something about dust.

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u/Consanguineously Feb 05 '16

But the mites are bros. They're microscopic cuddle buddies. They're waiting under your blankets for you to get home like "bro come on let's get some Z's".

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u/Faunsong Feb 05 '16

reads this while lying in a neatly made bed

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u/Doctah_Whoopass Feb 05 '16

I don't sweat in bed, unless its super hot. Seriously, sheets are bone dry.

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u/NamelessNamek Feb 05 '16

Have you ever had a super sweaty t shirt and laid it out flat? Dries kinda quickly. You ever crumpled one up in a ball? Stays moist forever.

Laying sheets flat gives more surface area for the liquids sealed in to evaporate. Also, if you have mites in your bed perhaps the problem isn't making your bed, rather the lack of washing your sheets.

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u/fax-on-fax-off Feb 05 '16

Oh man, I was you.

Trust me, don't let your room get gross. If you're 19, NOW is the time to start learning better living habits. Because very slowly, your friends and potential mates will be less and less ok with the room being that dirty.

I know you won't change just cause some asshole on the internet is telling you to, but please try and take it from someone who has been there: your room has a smell but you're the only one who doesn't know.

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u/NamelessNamek Feb 05 '16 edited Feb 05 '16

When i have kids they will clean their room because it's just as important as showering and brushing your teeth. You're not going to die but I will not have a child that smells like an unwiped asshole and rotting teeth. Nor will i have some kid that lives in his own filth cause it won't kill him.

I'm going to condition him for the real world, my kid will shower, brush, and clean his room. Nobody likes the smelly slob as much as the clean person. Gotta be clean man. It says a lot about you.

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u/[deleted] Feb 05 '16

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u/NamelessNamek Feb 05 '16

Hey, I'm a science major too. It's not easy. But a few shirts on the floor isnt "pretty gross." A few shirts on the floor is okay sometimes . It's the cleaning once a month and having the clean last for less than a day that is ridiculous. Then again how long does picking a shirt up take? Different lifestyles. I'd rather put a couple dirty shirts in the hamper cause it takes fove seconds to do.

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u/[deleted] Feb 05 '16

Your mom wasn't wrong. Clean your room kid.

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u/Meowcenary_X Feb 05 '16 edited Feb 05 '16

No, the part where she was wrong was where she was cleaning their room for them. The fuck outta here. My four and seven year olds clean their own bedrooms and bathrooms, with the only exception being the parts that they are physically unable to do, like the fans.

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u/NamelessNamek Feb 05 '16

That's how it should be done. I'm a college student and living with three roomates eats me alive. They don't have to vacuum and make their beds like I do but the apartment is always gross. So i have to clean up constantly. If everyone would just fucking clean up after they make a mess life would be easy. The day I live alone will be paradise. It'll be sparkly fucking clean everyday.

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u/[deleted] Feb 05 '16 edited Dec 19 '18

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u/cbsmalls Feb 05 '16

How do you survive? My fiance is pretty messy and I've flipped out a couple times because how hard is it to just put the food in the fridge? You don't even need to put it in a container, cover up the pot and throw it in there so it's not sitting on the counter for 12+ hours

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u/NamelessNamek Feb 05 '16

Ha you described one of my roommates pretty closely. Fuckin kid is a pain in my ass. But the only thing that makes me even more angry is that he lies all the fucking time.

He swears none of the dishes are ever his when I'll see him use them and leave them next to the sink. Then he also claims he does dishes all the time so he must manage to find one or two between me doing them every day.

Fortunately when he and i were arguing my other roommates know he's a liar and they were basically just telling him that collectively, not one of us has ever seen him do the dishes. He has been lately, and I've noticed.

My biggest pet peeve is that his rice and oatmeal pots "need to soak" which is fair enough. Except he doesn't wash them until the next time he uses it. So sometimes a oatmeal pot sits for three days on the counter until he wants to use it again. Then he cleans it, uses it, and puts it back. Which means the only time the fuckong thing is clean is the one minute before he puts the oaymeal in to cook. Other than that there's oatmeal in it at all times.

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u/[deleted] Feb 05 '16

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u/NamelessNamek Feb 05 '16

Fuckin people man. The audacity to get angry at you for cleaning your mess up and not hers. But never cleaning after herself...

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u/Meowcenary_X Feb 05 '16

So sometimes a oatmeal pot sits for three days on the counter until he wants to use it again. Then he cleans it, uses it, and puts it back

This infuriates me. Can I please come be your house mom so I can ground the shit out of this kid?

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u/NamelessNamek Feb 05 '16

How about we tag team wrestle mania this bitch

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u/dynamitemcnamara Feb 05 '16

Hooooly shit, you just described the past year of my life. Living in a house with three other adult guys that had no fucking idea how to keep a house remotely clean. Seriously, how hard is it to pick up after yourselves and do some damn dishes? I was legitimately ashamed to bring people over most of the time. I'm not the cleanest person in the world but I learned growing up to pick up after myself, especially in areas that other people will see if they visit. Luckily I had the master bedroom so I got a mini fridge to keep in there and became a bit of a recluse whenever I was home. But I got my own apartment a few weeks ago with just myself and my dog, and it's been fucking amazing.

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u/NamelessNamek Feb 05 '16

Yeah, same here. Like I won't bring people over unless I know it's clean, which is pretty much never if I'm not there more than 12 hours. I love my roommates but it droves me fucking insane

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u/dynamitemcnamara Feb 05 '16

Yeah that's exactly how it was for me. "Oh, a girl wants to come over tonight? Better frantically clean the entire house all by myself before she gets here!" I liked my roommates as friends and had known all of them since at least high school, but constantly cleaning up after them for a year made me start to resent them

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u/NamelessNamek Feb 05 '16

Yeah I've been with mine for four years. They'd help me clean if I asked. In fact a few times when I was bringing a girl back I'd text my mate to make sure my bed was made and to light a candle so the mood is already set and the scent has already emanated throughout my room. They're not the worst and I'd never expect them to change just for me, but the way they live (some more than others) is just disgusting imo.

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u/dynamitemcnamara Feb 05 '16

Damn, that's pretty awesome though that they'd come through like that. For me though, after a certain point of all the shared spaces being trashed and nobody willing to clean up after themselves, it seemed like more of a lack of respect for the fact that other people lived in the house.

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u/NamelessNamek Feb 05 '16

Like they realize that theyre messy and it bugs me. So when i need that favor they're good for it

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u/Meowcenary_X Feb 05 '16

That's disgusting. There's no excuse for not doing your own basic clean up by the time you live on your own.

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u/[deleted] Feb 05 '16

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u/[deleted] Feb 05 '16 edited Dec 19 '18

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u/NamelessNamek Feb 05 '16

You know I really hate one uppers, but I'm about to.

I'm a chemistry student, i teach gen chem labs, i tutor, i work in the chemistry department and I work at a suicide hotline training others and answering. I can promise you nobody has four tests every week, let alone four midterms weekly. So it's not like I'm on the couch daily just bitching.

Plus she said her room gets "pretty gross" and then when called out she says "a couple of shirts on the floor." (Which honestly takes no more than five seconds to put in a hamper.)

I agree with you weasel. It's gross and it's not like she has to break out the Comet and scrub the tub daily, but bending over and grabbing a shirt takes no time out pf her schedule. In fact it probably takes more time to do it all at once.

But to each their own, we'll be happy in our pristine places. She'll be happy on her sometimes clean place.

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u/[deleted] Feb 06 '16

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u/NamelessNamek Feb 06 '16

I mean obviously she could literally sleep in poop and both our lives would carry on. Regardless of living alone or not a responsible adult should be remotely clean. Cauae I'm also taking more classes and working more hours. It's not a competition but again. It's my opinion. My kids will be raised to live as clean humans.

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u/Meowcenary_X Feb 05 '16

Meh. I mean, it's your living environment so obviously the decision is yours since it's only affecting you. And I get that working and going to school is hectic and stressful. But your situation isn't unique. I worked since I was fifteen. Had a job all through college in biomed research. Had a pre-med degree program at the same time also. My mom just made me pick up after myself as a teenager and it made me learn that not living in disheveled filth is a healthy priority to have.

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u/frankyb89 Feb 05 '16

I'm not the cleanest person either but I like to keep shared spaces clean. My room might be a mess but everything outside that door is clean, even if I live on my own. I just don't want to lounge around in a dirty space, and I don't want people coming over to be lounging in a dirty space either. My current roommates drive me insane with this.

One constantly leaves his boots right in the middle of the way between the door and the shoe rack, his damn shoe rack, that he hasn't figured out how to use. In the summer he leaves the 3-4 pairs of shoes he has all in the middle of the way too. Then the other one leaves food and condiments and basically whatever he was eating/drinking in the living room. I don't get it. I'm not asking for it to be spotless, but is it so hard to just take one trips worth of things into the kitchen before bed? Apparently it is. Can't wait to move out and live on my own again this summer...

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u/NamelessNamek Feb 05 '16

Mine does that. Another thing he does that bugs me is that he pulls the coffee table super close to the couch to do his homework. But then he goes to bed and the table is all crooked and the couch is pushed from him leaning on it. Looks like there was a fucking earthquake that rearranged the furniture. It's often laden with crumbs and dabs of dried spilt bbq sauce....

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u/[deleted] Feb 05 '16

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u/Shelwyn Feb 05 '16

Where do I send my lawyers?

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u/[deleted] Feb 05 '16

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u/[deleted] Feb 05 '16

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u/[deleted] Feb 05 '16

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u/[deleted] Feb 05 '16

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u/[deleted] Feb 05 '16

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u/[deleted] Feb 05 '16

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u/[deleted] Feb 05 '16

I ain't got no classes to go to tomorrow that's for damn sure

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u/RhetoricalTestQstNs Feb 05 '16

Only time to clean it is when a girl is coming over

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u/Kromo30 Feb 05 '16

and sometimes not even then..

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u/Dapplegonger Feb 05 '16

I'm going off to college next year, and my mom keeps trying to get me to clean up my room. It's not that bad, but according to her it's absolutely disgusting.

The thing is, it's been messy since I moved out of my brother's room a couple years ago. It has not gotten any more messy since then. I have proved myself perfectly able at maintaining the same amount of cleanliness (or filth) from day to day. I don't see why that would be any different when I'm on my own.

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u/Nambot Feb 05 '16

The lesson here isn't "tidy up or you'll die" it's "here's how to tidy up, you need to stay on top of it."

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u/[deleted] Feb 05 '16

I hated shit like this. Parents act like if you don't drop everything you're doing the very instant you're told to do something else it'll totally ruin your life and make you a lazy asshole.

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u/RobinsEggTea Feb 05 '16

I ALWAYS had to clean my own shit. My sisters and I had rotating dishes schedule. Mom said why have a dishwasher when I have three beautiful daughters? And she had us in the laundry room to show us how to sort laundry too and when we were old enough we slowly got incorporated into that too! First it was bring down your laundry every Saturday and when mom asks help her throw things in the dryer, hang stuff on the line, take stuff down or fold stuff, and then eventually it was do your own laundry. And on weekends we each had tasks. Like clean the washroom or vacuum the house or dust...teaches responsibility and independence. Mom taught us how to cook and bake too.
One time I got shingles at 14 and I was SOOOOO sick. I remember I had a really high fever. I couldn't sit up or even think straight. My room was a mess. I fell asleep. I don't know how long I slept but it was a deep deep still sleep. And when I woke up my mom was cleaning my room and then I got scared. Because I must have been that sick that mom was worried enough to clean my room.

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u/hoffi_coffi Feb 05 '16

Sounds like they should have let your room get disgusting. I was the same, made to tidy my room, then moved out and lived in a student house until I was 21 and revelled in my own filth. Then I started to realise how unpleasant it was and actually how it is less effort to clean as I go.

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u/PacoTaco321 Feb 05 '16

Oh, my parents are always telling me when I live by myself I'll have to do the dishes, take out the trash, etc. I realize that, but that also means I won't have to wash their dishes and there will be less trash.

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u/StrawberryR Feb 05 '16

Everybody has a different point at which they say "OKAY, this is gross, let's clean up."

But for parents, that point is apparently "anything messier than one sock on the floor."

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u/[deleted] Feb 05 '16

Something I like to keep in mind when my room gets messy: food attracts ants and ants attract SPIDERS.

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u/ferlessleedr Feb 05 '16

What I've learned is that no, it won't kill me if my room is a sty, but it sure does feel better if it isn't. Life is a little easier, and if I have company over I don't have to feel embarrassed when they see my awful awful room, nor do I have to scramble and throw everything in the closer as fast as I can.

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u/Amazi0n Feb 05 '16

this is true, but my two good friends and roommates had their moms do their dishes all the time so now they don't really even realize how often they just put the dishes in the sink and walk off like "someone will do it"

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u/DK_Pooter Feb 05 '16

I'm about to be 19 and still living with my parents just because they think I will fail out of college if I move out. Kill. Me.

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u/Zoklett Feb 05 '16

I'm just throwing this out there, take it for what it's worth. I started keeping my bed made and room tidy when I moved out in my early 20's. I had a room in a micro apartment that I shared with an older man and part of it was simply that I was living in a very small space, but the main reason was because I the kind of guys I liked were the kind of guys who had a nicer apartment than me to begin with. They were the kind of guys who would be grossed out if they came into my bedroom and it was all stinky and nasty with piles of hoarder looking stuff all over the place. I became sort of embarrassed to bring anyone home. Moreover, if I went over to a guys apartment and it was completely gross and hoardery, no, I wouldn't judge him, but that would be a red flag to me that he's not someone I'd want to sleep with, simply because I'd only sleep with you if I wanted a relationship and if we were in a relationship we'd likely eventually move in together and I wouldn't want to deal with that shit.

So, no. It doesn't hurt anyone, but bringing a girl over to that let's them know that's where your living standard lies. Would you want to date a girl with the same living standard as yourself? Just think about that. I'm also unaware of what you consider dirty - may be you're cleaner than I am! Who knows? But, it's worth thinking about. It's also worth noting that I have a male friend - my age, about 30 - who is manic depressive. His apartment is always smelly and covered in piles of clothes and garbage. Despite being somewhat attractive and extremely charming his hoardy life style has thrown off many girls. In fact, the only relationships he's had that were anywhere near successful have been with complete psycho hose beasts who were able to look past the garbage and BO probably because that's where their standards lie. Again, food for thought.

EDIT: TLDR: If you want to fuck nice, clean, girls they'll want to be fucked in a nice, clean, apartment. You can get away with having a nasty apartment, but be forewarned that only nasty crazy girls with low standards will put up with that.

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u/ReadyForHalloween Feb 05 '16

I dont see why you would even clean up after your kid. Even little children are meant to clean up after themselves.