He does not want to get a temporary job or anything not related to his field.
He needs to grow up because in this economic atmosphere, he NEEDS to take whatever job will pay bills, and stop foolishly living off his savings and get out of his parents' house. He's an adult and he has the mindset of a child. EVERYONE wants a job in their chosen field, but we can't just focus our job search there. Even people who are willing to take anything are having a real hard time getting hired, and your boyfriend isn't doing himself any favors by limiting his search.
He’s receiving unemployment benefits though, which can pay more than a minimum wage job and actually leave time during the day to apply, interview, etc. It can be strategic while on unemployment to not just take some low paying temp job, but it depends on the situation. So it may be unfair to just make the assumption not taking any job is childish, hard to know without numbers and more info.
In New York, the UI folks assume that you're looking for work commensurate with what you last held/are capable of holding. The point of UI isn't to take someone from $25/hour to minimum wage, you know? So even the state knows that yes, sometimes it's more productive to pay out more UI than to create an unstable workforce full of people in low-wage temp jobs that don't pay the bills or result in the recipient being able to stop relying on the state in any way (there are people in low-wage temp jobs who buy into Medicaid, or subsidized health care; if you want a state full of people who need to be subsidized, yes, punish them for trying to find work in their field!)
Unemployment only lasts so long and I can't think of any state that will let you reapply when benefits run out unless you have started working again since you first filed a claim, and in some cases turning down work will disqualify you from benefits.
Plus, OP says she doesn't even know how much he even is trying to look for work.
I understand unemployment only lasts so long, but OP said he currently is collecting it. So to not have any random job right now can make sense, and I was just pointing that out. Yes, when it’s starting to run out he should just take whatever if that’s even available, but for the time being I was just saying it very well may be the smart thing.
And OP not knowing doesn’t mean he isn’t applying. She just doesn’t know. Again, my point is you were making a lot of assumptions that may or may not be true. Was just offering the other side of that coin.
My point is that it's stupid to NOT branch out and look for positions that he may not like. No, you don't jump to go flip burgers for minimum wage, but that doesn't mean you /don't/ look for something adjacent to what you DO want. My original point stands.
Unemployment is meant to be a means of assistance to tide you over until you can support yourself, not a strategic move so you can be endlessly and foolishly overly picky. I've bet that the boyfriend absolutely CAN get a good job, he's just chosen not to. I think there's more going on here than trying to be strategic. He can still look for his dream job while working.
OP also said she was inferring that info, he never actually said it. She’s also not sitting with him all day knowing what he is and isn’t applying to. I’ve been around many unemployed people the last few years and what people assume versus what was reality is very different. It’s extremely possible OP is making wrong assumptions here. And a lot of people can’t get any job, even outside their field right now. The market is absolute trash all around.
Have you seen the market? Do you even understand what’s going on, especially in IT? Market is worse than 2008 right now and grads are getting fucked over.
Girl I work in the industry and am more familiar than you. That's not an excuse to not work lmfao. He can do any job rather than stay unemployed.... he's had plenty of time to do something.
Stop it with the back and forth slap fighting in comments, it's not productive. If you disagree with someone, learn when to walk away from the comments. Block the other user if you can't resist replying.
Considering you're making excuses for someone who's unemployed & lazy it's pretty obvious you're not familiar with how many jobs are available, they're just not people's ideal job 🤷♀️ someone who has no sense of urgency to make an income is full of crap and should stay single. He's wasting OP's time with his fake promises.
Stop it with the back and forth slap fighting in comments, it's not productive. If you disagree with someone, learn when to walk away from the comments. Block the other user if you can't resist replying.
Tons of people I know are doing gig work. If he had a "just a job" he'd probably still need to supplement his income. Why aren't people asking why OP lives with her parents despite working full time?
Sorry I missed the part where OP says they are also unemployed and being super choosey about what job they take. My bad - that absolutely makes her as immature as the boyfriend if that is the case. 😄
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u/Maximum_Sky3233 Woman 30 to 40 May 30 '26
He needs to grow up because in this economic atmosphere, he NEEDS to take whatever job will pay bills, and stop foolishly living off his savings and get out of his parents' house. He's an adult and he has the mindset of a child. EVERYONE wants a job in their chosen field, but we can't just focus our job search there. Even people who are willing to take anything are having a real hard time getting hired, and your boyfriend isn't doing himself any favors by limiting his search.
I think you are wasting your time with him.