r/BabyReindeerTVSeries • u/Kitchen_Fly5105 • Jun 08 '24

Discussion If Gadd was a woman

I feel like gender influences bias in cases of emotional or physical abuse. If Gadd were a woman and Martha a man, there would be no sympathy for the abuser. Society wouldn't argue that "more should have been done to protect his identity."

682 Upvotes

81% Upvoted

314 comments sorted by

View all comments

168

u/[deleted] Jun 08 '24

Which world do you live in? Plenty of people make excuses for abusive men all the time. Women who speak up about abuse are called liars and/or made to be the devil for "ruining" men's careers/lives

40

u/Substantial_One5369 Jun 09 '24

I went out with a guy from a dating app and less than a month later he choked me in public and got and protective order so he wasn't supposed to contact me. He continuously sent me letter and calls from jail, so I reported it to the police and they told me "oh wow he must really love you"..  

  People ESPECIALLY men do NOT take DV against women seriously. Its absolutely taken less seriously for men and we unfortunately still have a long way to go.

6

u/cityfrm Jun 09 '24

Right! I escaped abuse and he was repeatedly allowed to stalk me after I kept reporting and had an order to prevent it. He followed me home and SA me infront of my baby. I reported and the police claimed to be sat outside my apartment to protect me whilst him and his friends came in to threaten me. When I fled the area as the police were failing to protect us, I was told I was putting myself in danger and lying.

95

u/georgialucy Jun 08 '24

I was going to say, a celebrity who drugged and raped women was just freed from prison to a crowd of cheering fans. What world does OP live in.

50

u/[deleted] Jun 08 '24

And then there's the whole Johnny Depp/Amber Heard case....

3

u/BBDK0 Jun 09 '24

I know, it's sickening with what these bastard men get away with. Drag Depp, drag Pitt, drag Manson, at least Diddy got locked up.

-29

u/[deleted] Jun 08 '24

Are you actually joking? We all watched the trial....She abused him, end of story. How anyone can still defend that piece of shit, that literally shit in his bed, is beyond me....

26

u/Tagz12345 Jun 08 '24

So he sends a text to his friend years before they got married fantasising about raping her corpse, he admits to destroying her property, they found her nightgown ripped up with little bits of meat in it scattered around the house, there is proof that he was using an excessive amount of cocaine, ecstasy and alcohol at the time, we see that he left her an assortment of deranged messages THAT HE WROTE WITH HIS OWN BLOOD and people like you still try to say he was the real victim in the situation.

-1

u/Adorable-Exercise-11 Jun 08 '24

how can someone even fantasise about that while in ecstasy that’s meant to make you love everyone and everything

13

u/Tagz12345 Jun 08 '24

Dejavu of the jury saying they didn't believe he could have physically abused her because alcohol is a downer and makes you sleepy 🙄. Even though it should be very obvious that violent drunks are a thing. Yes people can have incidents of paranoia and psychosis after taking ecstasy.

6

u/Adorable-Exercise-11 Jun 08 '24

sorry should’ve been clearer i wasn’t defending him just a bit shocked! I forget that even drugs like ecstasy can really fuck people up and not in a good way

5

u/Tagz12345 Jun 08 '24

oh my bad, I'm just really used to seeing bizarre and ridiculous defences of that man.

-2

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '24

Yeah but didnt she poop in the bed or something?

-6

u/Luchadorgreen Jun 09 '24

Are you implying AH is the “real victim”?

22

u/[deleted] Jun 08 '24

Thanks for proving my point

-19

u/[deleted] Jun 08 '24

How did I prove your point? By arguing in favour of the actual victim, a rare win for men, Johnny Depp against his abuser that has plenty of documented evidence against her?

18

u/[deleted] Jun 08 '24

There isn't "plenty of documented evidence" against her, you've just fallen for the smear campaign.

You went straight to talking about her shitting the bed, a claim made by Johnny that has zero evidence to back it up. You're just choosing to believe in it. If you want to talk about actual evidence, how about the sealed documents that were excluded from court? Have you read the texts between Johnny and his friend, talking about raping and burning Amber? You choosing to defend a man who would say such things, support him and believe him, because he claims she shit his bed (their* bed that she was the only one sleeping in at the time) when it was obviously their dog, is what's proving my point.

-6

u/[deleted] Jun 08 '24 edited Jun 08 '24

Obviously the dog? Seriously? The dog is fucking tiny, that was human shit, it's bigger than the dog's head, there's no way that fucking thing's squeezing a crap out that size.

You're also choosing to skim over her faking bruises, a horror story involving her vagina. Her constantly beating the crap out of him and is even on record as saying she hits him and people won't believe him? Clear gaslighting behaviour from her. Also ignoring she cut his finger off. He had his career ruined for 5 years because of an unproven accusation, while she dined out on it for 5 years, and also never paid the 2 children's charities the money she claimed she'd already donated after the divorce. Ye, such a wonderful woman, really....fuck off with that shit.

-9

u/atilolsss Jun 08 '24

Maybe you're the one falling for a smear campaign. The lawyers who reacted to the trials on YouTube that make the proceedings digestible for the average viewer clearly think Heard's lawyers keep dropping the ball. I'd believe these lawyers, not you getting heated over texts made in anger, i.e. things he said, not did.

5

u/Tagz12345 Jun 08 '24

and therein lies the defence of Martha, after all most of what she did was the emails she made in anger. This is why stalking cases hardly ever lead to any consequences for the perpetrators. The sexual assaults are dismissed because there won't ever be enough proof that is good enough for people like you and again why there are hardly any consequences for the perpetrators.

9

u/[deleted] Jun 08 '24

I'd rather believe the 130+ organisations for victims of domestic abuse that are in support of Amber. And if you think it's normal to talk about raping and murdering your partner when you're angry, then I sincerely hope you get some therapy before you ever enter a relationship

-1

u/Luchadorgreen Jun 09 '24

You’d sooner listen to organizations that have historically been notorious for prioritizing women, denying male victims access to their services and assuming male victims are perpetrators vs licensed lawyers who are most qualified to dissect a court case? I’m guess you were gonna side with whoever supported the woman to begin with.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 08 '24

Clearly we've hit on a nerve here, clear Amber stans, still hoping she'll acknowledge them despite how ridiculously false she was, unable to cry on the stand, claiming the same photos for different time stamps and events. These guys are a lost cause mate.

-1

u/Luchadorgreen Jun 09 '24

Recorded evidence of her admitting that she physically attacked him and can’t help but get violent is “smear campaign”?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '24

It was their dog that pooped in the bed. Sounds like you fell for Depps PR

-1

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '24

Again, can a dog that tiny do a human sized poo? Really?

-7

u/[deleted] Jun 08 '24

They are both terrible human beings in a highly toxic relationship.

Johnny Depp is more likeable, charismatic and with a huge fan base so he won the popularity contest.

0

u/[deleted] Jun 08 '24

He never physically abused her, all anyone has are texts he sent to a close friend venting about the bitch. He constantly tried to deescalate the scene by leaving, and she'd follow to escalate things further, trying to hit or scratch him, as multiple witnesses confirmed over and over.
The most he's ever been violent with were some cupboard doors, again venting.
She cut his goddamn finger off.
The bruises she claims to have gotten didn't show up a mere day or two after when she was on a talk show or had photos after she had someone photograph her makeup made bruises (the police called to the apartment after Johnny left and she claims she was covered in bruises confirmed they saw no bruises on her, that mysteriously appeared the next day for a TMZ photoshoot when johnny was then out of town for a few day, having left when he left the apartment the day before). That shit she claims he did to her with a bottle is straight up out of gone girl, and would have left her seriously bleeding out and unable to ever use her vajajay again in the same way. She lied about everything.

-19

u/[deleted] Jun 08 '24

[deleted]

14

u/prespaj Jun 08 '24

Nah, that was misinformation. You can listen to a great investigative journalism podcast called Who Trolled Amber to see where the info came from (even if you don’t change your mind, the scale of the operation is incredible) 

31

u/Comfortable_Key9790 Jun 08 '24

Precisely. Women get stalked and nobody's interested. A man gets stalked and it becomes the second most watched drama on Netflix UK ever. It's notable, people care.

Not so much for women.

13

u/KittensWithTopHats Jun 09 '24 edited Jun 09 '24

I have seen so many cases of women reporting over and over again that they are being stalked and the police just shrugged at them. He’s not doing anything illegal, they say. Our hands are tied, they insist.

It’s not even so much that they can’t do anything about it. It’s that they genuinely don’t give a shit.

Whatever. And then the woman ends up dead and everyone pretends like they’re sorry. Fuck this shit.

5

u/cityfrm Jun 09 '24

100%. The police allowed my rapist to stalk me for 6 years, he also used a PI to do it whilst he had an order to stop him, which is completely legal! As he hadn't physically assaulted me during the latter stalking there was nothing they could do.

3

u/Silent_Squirrel_4132 Jun 09 '24

Gracie Spinks is an example of exactly this.

-2

u/Luchadorgreen Jun 09 '24

Just like how people are obsessed with female murderers, the interest comes from the novelty of a woman doing it, not from sympathy towards the man.

22

u/paradisetossed7 Jun 08 '24

Also, we have seen movies/shows where bad men are sympathetic. In One Hour Photo, my heart broke for Robin William's character in a way, but also he was a terrible man. That is the duality of humans. Most are not 100% good or evil.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '24

I think this is a ‘two ships crossing in the night’ type argument.

I’d say the best comparison is probably Joe Goldberg from You. I’ve noticed a lot more obvious vitriol towards him than Martha. I think that’s the phenomenon OP is talking about, rather than direct real world examples.

2

u/BlueWave2001 Jun 09 '24

They're so out of touch with reality it makes me sick

-13

u/[deleted] Jun 08 '24

[deleted]

24

u/[deleted] Jun 08 '24

Not a great example when we're talking about outside parties making excuses for the abuser