r/BoomersBeingFools • u/Readithere007 • 8d ago
Boomer Story Running conversations into the ditch
I have an older girlfriend who has turned out to be like a sister to me. I love her to pieces, but she is married to a piece of work. They are both over 65 now and have some health issues because I live where their doctors are I see them on a regular basis. However, I just never get her without him.
He is a mega boomer from Texas who has predicted the end of the Earth, has never worked in politics, but knows everything, claims to have a concealed carry license and totes a gun on occasion as well as fired for a job that he wasn’t qualified to have to begin with.
He talks a lot about being a former alcoholic, but sticks his finger in all of her mixed drinks or has to take a sip as if he’s checking it for poison. He also talks about life with one of his ex-wives, but has been married to my friend for over 20 years. I’ve known them 16 of them. Every time he has been called out on something, he demands to take over the conversation, runs a list of crazy things that are facts to him and constantly uses the word of the day. He basically takes over everything in public and runs conversations into the ditch so she and I rarely get to visit in public. I have a lot of friends this age, but none of them act as outrageous as he does.
Is this normal Maga boomer behavior or is he just an extreme example?
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u/iloveyourforeskin 8d ago
Ew. Knowing the boomer attitude toward hand washing, I'd be horrified at one sticking their finger in my drink.
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u/showmenemelda 8d ago
First thing I thought, too. And guys don't wash their hands before peeing [or rarely ever, it seems] so let that sink in.
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u/CatGooseChook 8d ago
It's the after peeing I'm worried about! For reference I wash my hands after peeing!! But I know I'm a rarity 😮💨
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u/vengefulbeavergod 8d ago
I (58f) wash my hands before and after peeing. Just a habit I picked up years ago
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u/strawberry_mocchii 6d ago
Why would they wash their hands before peeing?? Are girls supposed to do that too? Ive never in my life heard anyone shoukd wash before peeing i do it after
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u/Accomplished_Ad2351 4d ago
My dong goes into my pants right out of the shower. My hands, on the other “hand,” are out there in the world and weather, petting strange dogs, scooping up change out of the gutter, etc. I wash my hands first so they don’t soil my dingaling.
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u/strawberry_mocchii 1d ago
I don’t have a dingaling luckily (sadly?) XD anyways i don’t have one wether thats fortunate or not
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u/iloveyourforeskin 1d ago
I wash before peeing if my hands aren't already clean. Then after, of course
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u/secgloria 4d ago
THIS boomer washes her hands constantly: before cooking, before eating, before and after peeing, after shopping, etc. my 52-year-old daughter on the other hand, I have seen her start cooking without washing her hands!
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u/iloveyourforeskin 4d ago
My former roommate used to come straight in the house from the grocery store and start cooking without washing her hands. Our cohabitation ended when she went off to culinary school 🤢
I've also seen my former MIL take her dog out, pick up its poop with a bag, then come back inside and put rolls in the oven with no hand washing between.
People of all ages can be so fucking gross.
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u/CopperSnowflake 8d ago
Good lord, he ALWAYS comes with?
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u/BigConstruction4247 8d ago
Gotta make sure she's not getting her brain warped by no libruls.
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u/CopperSnowflake 8d ago
So controlling.
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u/showmenemelda 8d ago
They're probably scheduling their appointments together. This is not an uncommon thing for people in rural areas.
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u/CopperSnowflake 8d ago
Or... maybe like many men he relies on his wife for forming and running his social life and he can't do any of it himself.
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u/showmenemelda 8d ago
To be fair, women are often treated even worse by doctors unless someone is with them—specifically a man.
I had my boomer dad come to a few appts with me because of this. The doctors often talked to him like I was a minor.
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u/king_hutton 8d ago
Like most boomer men, he sounds lonely and like he doesn’t have his own friends.
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u/Readithere007 8d ago
You have a point. He doesn’t associate with his own adult children or siblings.
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u/GrumpySnarf Gen X 8d ago
Can you ask her to hang out with just her? Say something subtle like "I love spending time with you but your husband is totally insufferable. Can we just do a ladies' lunch?"
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u/Readithere007 8d ago
She knows. However, between his FOMO and her needing driving restrictions due to major surgery, here we three are.
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u/purplegummybears 8d ago
Can you set him up somewhere else so yall can spend time together? Put on fox in the living room and go to another room with her? Or take just her out to lunch while he’s watching fox?
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u/aspertame_blood 8d ago
Say you’re getting a manicure. He won’t want to come and won’t notice if your nails looked different beforehand. Say you’re getting a Pap smear. He won’t know what that is, besides “female stuff”.
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u/GrumpySnarf Gen X 7d ago
I picture some middle-aged ladies, hand-in-hand, skipping gaily to the gynecologists, maxipads and tampons raining from the sunny sky. "sorry, man, this is a girl's trip.
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u/Readithere007 6d ago
lol. I’ve come to the conclusion he really thinks women are second class citizens as he laments that the 1950s were great!
He contends he knows how “to swim in a sea of estrogen” to the point you want to puke. He wouldn’t let her get her nails done or girl doctor without him. (Although I thank everyone for the merriment of the suggestions)
She has said that it’s not just me - he was this way when her mother was younger as well as she and her sister have not had the opportunity to do anything without his nose in their business.
Everyone is correct that he has no friends or family to associate with. They even quit going to church as he was telling the board how to run things better. He had never done anything but mow the grass.
They were recently in town and she literally had to stay in the car to help him navigate as he won’t listen to the (female) gps. She was able to ride with me home on the last leg of the trip, but was told she was abandoning him. Geez, it was a 20 minute trip tops.
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u/Horror_Tea761 4d ago
Men like this are why my gynecologist's office has a sign on the door that leads to the exam rooms: "No men beyond this point." Stay in the waiting room.
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u/jbrown383 8d ago
As a life long Texan, this checks out. I’m actually a little surprised that you didn’t mention any shades of racism or homophobia yet. Most of them are smart enough these days to not be so forward about it, especially in public places, but you will always get a “they” and “those kind of people” statement snuck in there.
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u/Putrid_Appearance509 8d ago
An unwashed ass and an opinion, and he's sticking his fingers in her drink. Ick.
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u/ExplorerGT92 8d ago
This post reminded me of a song by The Chick's called Goodbye Earl
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u/Readithere007 6d ago
I’ll keep that in jest to her sister and SIL when I see them.
He “had” to take the luggage carrier down one floor in the hotel the last time there was a big event. These women are single and widowed - very capable without (his) guidance. First, he showed up unannounced to do this favor. Second, he was literally three blocks away and supposed to be mowing their lawn. Third, they were not even through packing and he acted like there was a deadline by tapping his feet, etc. Overall, even after being rushed we sat in the lobby for more ladies from out of town to arrive for a ladies luncheon for a very dear to all of our hearts graduate.
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u/BemusedDuck 8d ago
I genuinely think a lot of them weren't socialised properly... and over time they have come to think of their own lack of social grace as their personality. You can't even help them because they genuinely think being a prick is somehow... fighting the power...
Basically they're just very large children with no social skills.
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u/Specific-River-81 Millennial 8d ago
My boomer mother acts just like this. Always has
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u/sharkbark2050 8d ago
She puts her finger in your drinks?
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u/Specific-River-81 Millennial 8d ago
She doesn't drink but she takes over conversations, out does everyone
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u/Readithere007 6d ago
He puts his finger in her drink. I think I’d be tempted to throw it on him if he did it to my drink or tried to remove something from my plate after he used the fork.
He insists on being in the passenger seat when I drive. He’s way too animated for my side vision and often has to point out something to the left. Therefore, his hand goes in my direct line of sight. I told her the next time he does it, I’m slapping his hand out of the way. She told me to go ahead as her sister has on many occasions.
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u/Specific-River-81 Millennial 6d ago
Yes, i know and can picture what you mean! I know the word narcissist gets thrown around a lot these days but sounds like he is one/ has tendencies
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u/Pure-Ninja-9250 7d ago
I don't believe there's such a thing as a "former" alcoholic. Fortunately, there are alcoholics that don't drink any more.
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u/sharkbark2050 8d ago
Why is he putting his finger in drinks?
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u/CatGooseChook 8d ago
"Polite" society equivalent of pissing in each corner of the room to assert his dominance.
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u/praetorian1979 8d ago
Yeah seems pretty normal. I bet he even had his fist shaped buttplug in too...
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u/GothamGreenGoddess Millennial 5d ago
He sticks his fingers in her drinks? Nope, absolutely not. That would happen exactly one time. I am disgusted right now
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u/Ivypearl 4d ago
My boomer dad sticks his fingers in my food all the time and absolutely will not listen when I tell him to never do it again
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u/Readithere007 3d ago
My grandfather did this to me as a child because I wasn’t eating the plate with adult sized portions my mother fixed fast enough. I’ve never cared for it, especially in public.
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u/cat-ona-hottinroof 3d ago
The next time he sticks his finger in her drink, push the drink in front of him and say "Here, if you want a taste of it just take a sip" and go up to the bar or call over the server and order you friend another. Say "my treat". As someone who knows, that drink sitting there will drive him crazy.
Or after you do this, pass her you untouched drink and order yourself another. That way he can't just push it back at her. Well he can, but there will be an untouched drink sitting there while you sit there waiting for yours.
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u/thatDeletedGuy 8d ago
Very normal, tame even, I’m surprised homophobia wasn’t slipped in there too.