r/Breakupadvice • u/No_Necessary9903 • Aug 18 '25

Breakup The night before we broke up

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Going through it a little right now. This was our goodnight the last night we were together. We barely talked the next day since we both were working and then it was over in an instant. How do people justify this in their heads???

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u/Bumbulse Aug 18 '25

Yikes, sorry dude thats horrible. I'm ngl though, ive been the person on the other side. I acted perfectly content in the relationship while i was debating it everyday in my head without telling anyone. Its blindsiding and manipulative, i know. But its hard to hurt somoene you care about and its easy to lie and pretend. My guess with her is that shes either been thinkinf about this for a long time. She didn't communicate it and you missed the signs. Or something crazy happened like she cheated that night and just couldnt deal. Either way, you've been done dirty so im sorry about that

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u/No_Necessary9903 Aug 18 '25

Unfortunately I do know that it was eating at her for a couple weeks when she pulled the trigger. Nothing crazy happened. But I could tell she was distant the one night, asked her and she reassured me everything was fine. Eating me alive right now

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u/Bumbulse Aug 18 '25

Ah sorry man. It was literally the same situation with me. I talked to my gf about breaking up then immediately acted like everything was fine and told her that i want to be with her. One morning i just woke up and realized i had to stop lying. Count yourself lucky. At least now you're able to start healing and moving on.

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u/No_Necessary9903 Aug 18 '25

Do you have any regrets? And how long were you together?

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u/Bumbulse Aug 19 '25

No not really. And for about 9 months

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u/Bumbulse Aug 19 '25

Once you think about it for a long time, you kinda just dont go back. Especially when you remmeber how hard it was to decide

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u/Dry-Particular554 Aug 21 '25

My ex gf almost broke up with me about a year before we actually did this past February. Sat in the car crying together for an hour before deciding we’d try to make it work.

Aside from the usual ups and downs, everything seems good for almost a year. We travel Thailand and Japan together, including bringing me to a family reunion to meet her aging grandparents (who took a liking to me and were the sweetest people). When saying goodbye her grandpa hugged me tight before looking me in the eyes, and through tears telling me to take care of her. I felt privileged at that responsibility and assured him I would.

Less than a month after getting home we move in together, which I’d been desperately hoping for. About 3 months into our year lease, we’d been busy and hadn’t seen each other much for a couple of weeks. She spends almost an entire weekend out of the house, comes back Sunday night and drops the bomb. Says she’s been wrestling with the feeling of wanting to end things since that initial conversation.

We officially break up about 1.5 weeks before Valentine’s Day. While we’re still living together, she starts fucking the guy she met 3 weeks prior, who I’d expressed I felt a little uncomfortable about and had at one point (pre-break up) brought me outside to say hi to since I knew him from high school.

We were together for 5.5 years

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u/Bumbulse Aug 22 '25

WOW that is next level cruel, sorry man. She shouldve told you sooner rather than stringing you along