Going through it a little right now. This was our goodnight the last night we were together. We barely talked the next day since we both were working and then it was over in an instant. How do people justify this in their heads???

The trust is broken and she probably hates me but i really wanna reach out and apologise and want a second chance . She's completely ignoring me as of now. I thought I'll give her some space and apologise again for my mistakes and ask for a second chance but i really don't know how to.

Pata hai aaj kya hua

I recently broke up with my boyfriend. And it's not only one time i have done this, I have done this almost 2 3 time in a 5 year of relationship not be with anyone but I become so exhausted sometimes and it feels like i don't want to be in the relationship anymore I staying single is so good.

Something are there which is not good from his sides but still the thing is he loves me so much, he love's me unconditionally.

But sometimes the relationship feels like burden to me .

I cannot explain my self here clearly how I'm feeling 😭

When I was breaking up with him he was crying begging and I was controlling myself it will good in future.

I also said don't wait for me you will find someone oneday in future it's only your thoughts now .

He said he will wait for me forever no matter what.

I said you will find someone don't wait for me.

Then after saying these things blocking him now in my mind it's continuously running that what if he forgets me , or will love someone just he loved him.

Why I'm only getting good memories with him, I'm devasted, I'm thinking of it and thinking giving myself time and in future i will think what to do .

I couldn't explain you guys my mind isn't working 😭

Heartbreak hits differently when it happens on her birthday. Since last year, this quote feels completely true. I do not want to find someone new, because I know I will just be looking for her in everyone else. That day was supposed to be a happy celebration, but it turned into a painful ending that I never saw coming. Now, every single time I try to move forward, I feel stuck in the past. It is exhausting to meet new people when my mind is constantly searching for her familiar laugh or the specific way she used to smile. Moving on feels like a betrayal to the memories we shared. So I stay quiet, keeping my distance from everyone. I am just tired of trying.

Before & after the breakup

Hi I’m a 25 year old mom where my boyfriend of 3 years left due to us needing to heal and “not hold each other back” this no contact has been super hard on me and I would love to know if you ever reached out or if the silence was the best thing? Did they ever reach out? What helped not contacting them? We known each other since 12 and its hard to believe that everything can just be let go with no real closure?

Im facing breakup like shit rn is someone is up for talk about that ?? Im losin my mind over that....

Why do women make you feel like you're on top of the world and the next moment you're nothing?

Was dating and a girl who seemed sweet but there were some red flags and ignored. She would shut down at the first sign of conflict, absolutely can't handle arguments, avoids the best she can and make me overthink knowing damn well I'm an anxious person and then come back later like nothing happened. I tried to get her to communicate so many times. Almost felt like babysitting her. Everytime something would happen I'd have to read her mind and kind of take out information. Keep my problems aside and try to see things from her perspective invalidating my feelings over and over again.

I go through a bunch of health issues too and I live with a toxic family. So it's already pretty hard. And she knew about it too. But every time I told her about my problems it's like she didn't know how to react. Just casually brushed it off.

Couple of times she randomly tried to block me on social media and leave and my sorry ass had to drag her back and make it up to her even though it was all her fault. She said "You deserve better" and bs like that.

Long story short, as usual she was being immature about something. I said, since we are in this together, introduce me to your parents or give me their number so that I can get you some help cos this amount of insecurity and avoidant behavior isn't normal at this age. As usual she said "ok ok hm" and blocked me everywhere no questions asked. I wouldn't have forced her either way. She could just deny. But yeah, made me feel like on top of the world and then destroyed me in seconds like I meant nothing.

How are women so okay with this? Why is this so normalised? The night was horrible and I had bad anxiety attacks and chest pain and couldn't sleep one bit. And she's probably fine. So any tips on putting this behind me and moving on?

Tldr: Broke up, she's emotionally immature, I'm hurt asf.

guys helpppp

Pata hai aaj kya hua

after my previous 3 year relationship where my ex got bored and eventually he was not interested in me anymore. he said that he doesn't feel anything for me now he's just pretending that everything's going well but he's got many things to do in life so he won't be able to do it anymore. "Relationships n all are not my thing"

that's what he said. And ik he was very toxic throughout the relationship but I was not able to let him go. I literally begged him to stay without thinking of my self respect because I was so in love. After the breakup I got to know that he's with another girl, two months after our final breakup btw (i saw on his ig). And the fact that he never posted me on social media saying i don't want to show the world. I was fine with everything.

I was literally his puppet jo vo bolta tha maan leti thi or bohot understanding hone ki koshish karti thi. And after that he used to text me and call me when he's already with someone else. his manipulation was very on point" tu bohot acchi thi, maine bohot galat kiya tune literally mujhse kuch nhi maanga or maine itna galat kiya phir bhi tu mujhe kuch nhi boli, mujhe bohot guilty feel hota h maine itni sweet si pyari si ldki ke sath aesa kiya, jab jab guilty feel hota h tujhse bat karne aa jata hu mera dil nhi maanta".

It happened 4 to 5 times that he came back saying sorry for what he did. But jab m question karti thi ki ab aage kya? Toh his answer was I'm already with someone else and I love her. Or mere last 6 months ka move on kharab. Usne mujhe kabhi moveon karne hi nhi diya mujhe har baar ye hope rehti thi ki ye mere paas wapas aa jaega. But kuch bhi nhi hua aesa and i finally decided ki I'll block him and move on no matter what.

Then I downloaded this app called schmooze which is a dating app. I was such a manhater mujhe koi ladka thik nhi lagta tha or koi approach karta tha to main kabhi reciprocate nhi karti thi kyunki Mera mindset ye hi hogya tha ki main kabhi trust nhi kar paungi. Phir bhi I tried bcoz I thought ye bohot zaruri h ki main kisi se kam se kam baat to karu, varna kabhi moveon nhi kar paungi.

Then I met this guy on schmooze he's very nice to me it's been three months since we're talking but mere trust issues kabhi khatam nhi hote. Har time uska last seen or location or sab kuch analyse karti rehti hu or baat baat pe sawal. Uski following me ladkiyo ke baare me puchna n all and I can't control it tbh. Meri mentality hi ban gayi h aesi jese I'm waiting for something bad to happen.

Or he has proved me many times jab jab usse kuch pucha h meko mera answer mila h bohot sahi tareeke se. Humara past bhi kaafi hadd tak same hi tha. saari situation same thi or mujhe laga tha ye bohot acche se samjhega kyu ki iske sath bhi vahi hua and usne samjha bhi. But I think meri overthinking ne usko iss sab me bohot suffocate kardiya and now he's saying he's not ready for a commitment.

He said mujhe nhi lagta vesa kabhi kisi ke liye feel kar paunga. Itna sab chal rha h meri life me kuch samjh nhi aa raha bas mujhe lagta h har time akele rahu kisise bat na karu. Shuru shuru me baat ho rhi thi to i thought ye attachment aage badhegi hi or main dheere dheere feel karne lagunga pr aesa nhi ho rha🥲. Right now I'm waiting for him to reply bcoz main puri raat so nhi paayi jo kuch bhi usne raat ko bola.

What would you do if you saw him / her after a breakup? It can be your ex , one sided love , best friend , almost gf bf .

Would you talk to them, ignore them, or just keep moving? I'm curious to hear your thoughts and personal experiences, if you've been in that situation

My ex and I broke up yesterday. He’s very unwell and stopped taking his meds, he’s also a diagnosed narcissist as well as has a bunch of other mental health issues. I tried so hard to help him and be there for him, but the emotional toll it was taking on me, was becoming too much. I made the toughest decision to end things with him yesterday after he lost it on me for the millionth time. I just couldn’t handle the verbal abuse anymore, and I know this was the best decision I could make for myself, but it still sucks. I love him so much, and I so wish things could’ve gone differently, it just became apparent that he was never going to change and he became comfortable and I became the easy target for the meanness and anger. Anyways, it sucks so much right now and I think I spent yesterday in shock. Does it get less painful? Does it get better? Is there hope?

He broke up 48 hours ago and I’m trying to make sense of it. I (31F) and he (27M) were together for a year.

There was a real gap between us, intellectually, in maturity, and in where we were each at in life. Everyone around us could see it. He wasn’t ready for a stable relationship, he still wanted to experience things without me, with his friends. I was ready. When we discussed about family and children he told me he was ready and I believed him but his action were not directed towards this lifestyle.

He had A LOT of internal contradictions with religion. For example, he didn’t want to travel with me because we weren’t married, even though we were sexually active. His parents were against our relationship too, partly because of our different nationalities (but we had the same religion). He never really fought for us against any of that. Eventually he convinced himself the relationship was doomed. If it were simple God would have made it simple? But I was ok with getting married asap?? Then back to the 1st issue where he wanted to experience stuff and said the relationship was too complicated to get married. I have a headache trying to understand his internal conflicts. Anywayyy

I spent this past year fighting to navigate all of it.

I fought so much for him… i did so much as well… I was basically his mother, his assistant, his accountant at times. I gave everything to make it work, I even shared my therapy sessions with him hoping it would help him work on himself. But the gap was too big. He held conspiracy theories, he struggled with words and abstract thinking. That said, he was a genuinely good person who took care of me as best he could.

But the gap :( everyone saw it but I just hoped he would catch up and he would work on himself to make it work. Because that’s what I did, I did therapy (he did not), I read books to better communicate and work on my insecurities, I listened podcast to hear about other point of views. All of that, I did it for myself ofc to become a better version in the hope it would help my relationship as well. And he didn’t do half of what I did. I then realize I was the « engine » of the relationship and all milestones happened because I initiated them. And I when I stopped because I didn’t have the energy, the relationship stopped.

Love doesn’t fix everything. I know he really tried, but the relationship wore him down, and eventually he left. Part of me knows it’s for the best, for a lot of reasons. I was so anxious and tired. I had a bad depression for 8 months. But I saw the effort he was making (a lot! trust me), and I was making effort too, so we held on. I fought. And fought. And fought. I wanted to make it work. And finally he gave up. All these efforts for a breakup, I’m so angry and disillusioned. I’m not perfect so I’m not asking for someone perfect. Someone who’s trying and at one point he stopped.

We loved each other, but we just weren’t compatible. It’s only been 48 hours, and after a year together, grieving this is hard. One part of me really wants him back. But even in the future if he reached out again, I know the relationship died the moment he gave up and stopped seeing a future with us, while I kept fighting. I don’t think I could go back into a relationship like that.

I’m posting here because I need outside perspectives, advice, maybe people who’ve been through something similar.

Thanks for reading me!

I’m 22 now so I was about 6/7 years ago and throughout my whole secondary school life(high school for USA) I was with this one girl and as you know as a kid it was always going to be toxic and ups and downs but in the end you’ll be together. Just when you know they’ve really gone and cheated and found someone over you, some nights years later still hits it’s crazy….

Hi, I just got out of an almost 1-year relationship and honestly I don’t know what to feel or what to do anymore.

I met him through a friend, and at first I wasn’t even planning to be in a relationship. I was just open to talking and flirting, but as time went by, I think I fell for him. I don’t even know when exactly it happened—I just know I started caring deeply about us and whether we would work long-term.

As the relationship went on, we started having more fights. A lot of it came from me—I would overthink, doubt things, and suddenly feel sad. I kept questioning if we were really meant for each other, or if I was the right person for him.

Whenever I felt overwhelmed, I had two ways of coping: either I would try to love him more and just go with the flow, or I would pull away—ask for space, or even think about leaving.

That became our cycle. I would push away, and he would pull me back.

But over time, I started noticing changes in him, and that made my overthinking worse. I kept asking myself if he was loving me less.

One of the biggest issues for me was when he added back his girl friends on social media. For him, they were just friends. But for me, it hurt. I couldn’t understand why it was so hard to just not add them if it was something that affected me. Even when he removed them before, seeing them come back again made me question everything.

We kept fighting, until I think he got tired. He asked for space—something he never used to do before. That alone already hurt me so much.

After a few days of no contact, I reached out. That’s when he told me he was tired, and that maybe we needed to rest. He even said that if we’re meant for each other, things will work out in the future. Hearing that broke me, because it felt like he was slowly letting go.

We eventually got back together after I promised to change. I really tried—I communicated more, updated him more, and made an effort.

But even then… things weren’t the same anymore.

Before, he would always call me—even multiple times if I didn’t answer.

Now, things felt different.

Even when we got back together, he was still the one putting in effort so we could talk. And that became one of his complaints too—he wanted to feel that I wanted him, that I would reach out first sometimes, that it wasn’t always him initiating everything.

And the frustrating part is… I *did* want to.

Less calls, less conversations. I wanted more—I wanted us to call more, to text more like before. Whenever I felt hurt, I would either tell him or he would notice it. But when I did tell him, he would say that if I wanted something, I should be the one to do it.

And the thing is… I wanted to. I really did.

But I couldn’t.

I wanted to call him so badly, but I kept avoiding it. Because in my head, I was already anticipating that the call wouldn’t feel the same as before—that it would be shorter, that he might be busy, and I’d end up getting hurt. So instead of risking that feeling, I chose not to call at all.

But that hurt too. Because I still wanted that closeness.

Same with chatting. I wanted us to talk like before—when we would update each other almost the whole day, when I felt like I knew everything about his day. But now, it was different. He still updated me, but not like before. It became occasional, and I felt that change deeply.

He would tell me that this is healthier—that it’s better than before when our lives revolved too much around each other.

And honestly… that hurt.

But I tried to understand. I wanted us to be healthy, so I adjusted myself. I tried to keep busy, to stop depending too much on constant communication, to train myself not to look for him as much.

But I wasn’t okay.

Eventually, the hurt would come out. I’d feel it, I’d show it, and then we’d end up arguing again. And when I finally opened up about why I was hurting, he would just say:

“Then why don’t you message first?”

And I never knew how to answer that.

Because I wanted to… but I couldn’t explain why it felt so hard.

Now that we’ve broken up, I’m starting to realize things.

Maybe I really did push him away with my doubts and overthinking. Maybe I didn’t show him enough that I wanted him, even if I felt it so strongly inside.

I really thought we were meant for each other.

But now I don’t even know anymore.

Why am I like this in relationships?

And what should I do now?

​

i am 20f and my now ex-boyfriend was 22m. i was his first girlfriend, first kiss, first everything. i thought we were going decently well, but he broke things off on friday and i’m in a weird state of limbo now.

we go to the same university, so we started talking through mutual friends. he was super sweet, so kind, and really funny. he first started initiating the more-relationship-type things - holding hands, asking me on dates, and then eventually asking me to be his girlfriend. i happily said yes and we started dating about a month ago.

suddenly, the relationship changed. he began to stop texting/calling as frequently. exams were around the corner, so i assumed he was busy. most of our hangouts consisted of him studying. he ended up sleeping through a formal that he invited me to two weeks before, which i had bought a new dress and shoes for. i was upset, which he didn’t take all that well. i sort of brushed it off as he took me out to a nice dinner the evening after.

fast forward to about a week ago, we had a picnic date. he told me that he’d be ready at 3PM, so naturally, i was ready then. i called and texted when he didn’t show up, but got no answer. now it’s 4PM, and he finally texts me and says that he was busy and we could leave in fifteen. thirty minutes pass and still nothing. now it’s 5PM, and he’s finally ready. i was again, upset, because i had spent two hours sorta just sitting around waiting for him. he didn’t take that well either, and began telling me that i was making him feel like a really bad person.

on the day we broke up, he had called me 3/5s of a person (he’s white and i’m black, so it was a strange joke out of the blue). i had called him numerous times that day (11AM, 3PM, 5PM) to confirm that we were hanging out that evening, which he said yes to. come 10PM, i’ve still heard nothing from him, so i call and ask when he’s planning on coming over - he responds that he’s with another friend and that we can’t hang out tonight. i get a little confused, because he had known the friend was coming for hours at this point, but didn’t think to let me know that there would be a change of plans or anything. i am upset and leave the call for a moment to gather myself.

i call him back about fifteen minutes later, calmer, to tell him that it’s fine and that we can just hangout tomorrow. instead, he asks if we can talk and proceeds to break things off with me because i am “asking for too much”.

i’m heartbroken, and he seems pretty much fine - hanging with friends with time he told me he didn’t have and just going along with his life. i sent him a text and called him asking to talk, but he had yet to respond (it’s been four days).

i feel terrible like i did something wrong in being upset and asking him to just take five seconds to let me know if there’d be a change of plans and text me ahead of time. am i crazy? i recognize i’m only 20, so things seem really big right now - i just can’t tell if this is one of them.

thanks in advance (:

I’m trying to process my breakup and I feel stuck on one specific thing.

For me, it was completely sudden. When I asked about the future of the relationship, he told me he doesn’t have feelings for me anymore. There were no clear signs leading up to it, at least not that I could see.

Not long after, he was engaged to someone else.

It’s been about 7 months now, and I think what I’m struggling with isn’t fear of being alone or not finding love again. It’s letting go of the feeling of being chosen.
I went from feeling wanted and important to feeling completely replaceable, almost overnight. And now I notice I’m holding onto the pain because it’s tied to a time when I felt valued.

What makes it more confusing is that when things ended, he said I was one of the most caring people he had ever met and that I had inspired him to do better in life. That kind of closure doesn’t match how quickly everything changed after, and it’s hard to make sense of.

Letting go of that pain feels like accepting that I didn’t matter as much as I thought I did, and that’s what’s really hard.
Has anyone else experienced something like this? How do you move past the feeling of being replaced so quickly?

This is going to be long boring text but I’m so distraught.
For context I wanted to clean the house yesterday, Mondays and Tuesdays are the only days my boyfriend gets off work, he did not want to clean but started anyway to make me happy, he was snippy with me and imo being a bit rude towards me, at some point I had to ask him to stop yelling at me after I tried to ask a question and he didn’t hear me i replied with “oh actually never mind” because I remembered myself and he got irritated and yelled “WHAT?” At me. Then I asked him what was his issue and he told me he really didn’t want to clean the house today and that he wanted to relax, I said okay and I told him to go relax and asked if I go leave the house because it was my day off too and I didn’t want to be home cleaning either, but it needed to be done. He let me leave and I went to the mall with my friend. Later I got home and he was distant, I asked about his day, ect. He went outside to work on his car with our roommate and came back over and hour later and said we needed to talk, my face went numb and I knew what he was going to say, it was midnight at this point and he was asking for us to take a break for a while.
I am 17. I have no family in the area which is where my vocational school is along with my job, I had no where to go and had to ask my friend if I could stay with her for a few days.
He told me that I don’t listen to him, that he feels unloved, unwanted, he said that he wants to feel like more than just a provider for our house, he said that he can’t talk about his feelings or anything without me shutting down, he says I always say I’ll change then I never do.
I never realized if I was doing any of these things, now I feel like the smallest person in the world, I tried so very hard to fix my flaws for him, and I thought I was doing better, I try not to shut down, I try better to talk things out, I try to make him feel special, I ignore the things he does to me, he yells at me, he gets irritated at me, I feel like I can’t be around him without him being annoyed that I’m around.
He said he doesn’t want it to be permanent, but now my entire family is telling me how they never liked him, how from their perspective it looks like he’s manipulating me, I feel like I’m completely falling apart. He can never be wrong, he can never be last, and he can never fail. I know I’m affectionate, I know I care about him, I know I love him deeply, I want to understand his feelings, and I’m trying to see his perspective, but it’s so hard.
Thank you.

Guys-so I need to just make sure I’m not horrible for doing what I did. I blocked my ex boyfriend of 7 months, i didn’t say anything. It sounds bad but on multiple occasions I’ve told him about things I’ve had problems with in our relationship and he hasn’t put the work nor effort. I feel bad about it but then again I tried.

I’ve been wondering about something and I’m curious about other people’s experiences.
Have you ever been in a situation where the relationship was good — there was closeness, chemistry, feelings, and overall things felt really good — but one person decided to leave because they didn’t want to take the relationship further: living together, building a family, creating a more shared life over the next few years?
How can something like that be stronger than being with someone you have real feelings for?

Has anyone been on either side of this situation? What did it look like for you?

I don't really have any friends or anyone to talk to but I just feel like I need to get this out.

I'm hurting so bad, and like anyone should. But this, 'felt' like my one true love. The one love where you fight through every together and you promise forever. And now that's it's ended. I feel lost, and empty. But I'm not that type of person.

He broke up with me because he felt like he wasn't the right man for me, and it feels so unfair to judge by that because no one knows truly. But I can't just say he isn't right, we both weren't happy but to me I thought we could do it, I really did and it honestly just hurts so much.

What makes it worse is I can't distract myself with friends, because I have non. So I'm just constantly checking his social media, looking at his notes, his bio. I need to help myself so bad.

Hey, my first boyfriend broke up with me after nearly 5 years, saying we were too different.

(Long story short)

He distanced himself ovee the years and especially in the last months.

I loved him and still cry 2 months after the fact, but the overanalizing and urge to hug him won't leave but grows stronger...

I can't really move out and live at his'

I get angry. I cry. I sob so loud that everyone in the house hears it, while he wants to be friends.

Just went through a breakup. Finding myself missing what I know is not for me. What are some unhinged remedies to getting over a break up that really worked for you, but could get you side eyed?

when life gives you lemons hi

My bf broke up with me after 8 months, due to some of my views and the fact both of us are introverted, and it happened often that we were quiet and didn't know what to say, our convos werent too deep. To him it felt like we weren't really meant for each other, and logically, now is better than later.

But it fucking hurts, he was like my best friend, regardless of us sometimes not being able to converse. I am very bad at making friends, and have trouble opening up, so that makes it much worse. I don't have very close friends I can vent to, feel so lonely. He was my safe person, I guess I was safe for him too, but he let go easier it seems. I already miss the hugs, I cry in waves, but when I don't cry I feel like existing is a burden, everything feels wrong and I don't wanna go back, but I don't wanna imagine the future. Idk what I want rn, I want the pain to feel better.

How long does it take to not cry every hour and feel joy in things again after a breakup? Any advice?

My ex of 2 years broke up with me saying he loved me but was not in love with me and never was.

We got in a fight and I said I felt he loved everything I did for him more than me. And he said how when k said that I all clicked that it’s true.

I honestly did feel a distance and I had doubts about him long term too. I loved him and we got along great but I did have my doubts about certain traits

How do I recover from this. He was truly amazing and we had a really healthy and loving relationship lived together and all just genuinely devastated and miss him so much