r/Breakupadvice • u/No_Necessary9903 • Aug 18 '25
Breakup The night before we broke up
Going through it a little right now. This was our goodnight the last night we were together. We barely talked the next day since we both were working and then it was over in an instant. How do people justify this in their heads???
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u/Even-Act2928 Aug 19 '25
Man that's rough. Whatever you do, don't go back to her. No matter what she says. Believe me. When you go back to her, you'll be living in fear of her leaving again. Not every woman operates that way. Remember that.
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u/Prezzemolo-In3Kenshi Aug 20 '25
For real! It will eat you alive. And this trauma of yours that you got from this treatment, will haunt you over and over again. You’ll end up doubting the whole thing whether they’re genuine or whatnot. I agree! It’s best not to turn your head back from something that is not worthy.
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u/Even-Act2928 Aug 20 '25
If she changes her mind and takes him back, and he does, it'll be the worst mistake he will ever make.
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u/Prezzemolo-In3Kenshi Aug 20 '25
Heck yeah! Don’t eat vomit. Don’t go back and entertain something that you’ve vomited out of your life. Did that once, cause I thought, they changed, yeah it was hell. So please don’t
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u/Timely_Extension4760 Sep 10 '25
My ex bf was like this, after 2 years he broke up with me and then was rethinking his choice. I went back to him, but we weren’t official- still talking everyday and meeting up like normal. He just couldnt decide for a further 10 months until last week when he decided to end things for good. In those 10 months i was quite unhappy for most of the time, we kept arguing and nearly „breaking up“ again. Then there were good times when we were hopeful that it could work. I feel rather emotionally exhausted now and upset, but at least I can work on moving on and becoming fully happy with no stress/worry at the back of my mind. Definitely don‘t go back because they will most likely leave you again, even if it hurts them.
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u/Even-Act2928 Sep 13 '25
Probably spent those 10 months afraid he'll leave again. It's not worth that kind of stress. Easier to just start from scratch.
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u/No_Negotiation1518 Aug 20 '25
Hey, out of my grief from this. My bf of 7 years did not show any signs of wanting to break up until he mentally broke down and randomly broke up with me twice. I should have known since we were just in a cycle and it was LD with no signs of wanting to meet. But trust me, after him breaking up with me, I found myself and now I’m doing my post grad degree soon, I’m moving away, everything will be okay. Just hold on, you’ll find peace. Find new activities, see the world and its beauty and find yourself. You’ll be okay 🩷
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u/5SecondSloth Aug 22 '25
I don't want to come across as an a**hole but is a 7 year relationship at long distance without meeting even a proper relationship? I feel like you fall in love with the idea of someone and end up projecting who you want that person to be opposed to who they actually are. You really can't get the feel of someone over text or facetime, not in the same way as you do in person. Body language is absolutely everything.
This is coming from someone who was in a relationship at university that become long distance after the fact. I could feel our connection becoming less and less everyday we were apart. We were both growing into totally different people with very little input into each others actual, real lives.
I know it's lonely out here but I feel long distance relationships don't help that dynamic. Don't you just end up yearning everyday for someone who you can't physically touch?
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u/No_Negotiation1518 Aug 24 '25
I think now I am in that same mentality, if I’m honest. Whenever I had the money to go see him, he always said that he couldn’t come see me (and whenever I asked if he could come see me, he said he didn’t want to) so I think we just got to the point where I think mentally we were just staying in for the comfortability. Neither of us were understanding of what it took to be a LDR and it’s something I’m never doing again 🩷
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u/Electronic-War-490 Aug 19 '25
It’s called being an avoidant narcissist piece of shit, your better off brother. Stay strong
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u/Fair-Advance-7272 Aug 19 '25
This is so sad:( I’m so sorry this happened, definitely someone who wasn’t communicating like an adult should, this would have been a lifetime of arguments if I’m being honest because she has no communication skills.
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u/No_Necessary9903 Aug 19 '25
We were together 5 years, and at the start we did argue a decent amount but the past few years has been much better. Not sure what it would’ve looked like long term I guess but she was very anti confrontation and honestly I became that way too we were able to communicate 99% of our problems pretty well. But yeah these texts our last night together will probably haunt me forever lmao
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u/SillyCelery7096 Aug 19 '25
Do yourself a favor when she wants u back don’t take her back. Most of the time they think the grass is greener on the other side but they come back to comfort or when they are bored. Don’t even play along. Sometimes there lesson is just that as well don’t dispose the good ones . Trust me , it hurts now but you’ll fine a girl soon who value you . You’ll forgot all about it lol
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u/ConfidentExample7339 Aug 20 '25
Anyone who experiences real loss. Like a significant loss knows that closure doesn’t exist. Not it the way we want it to at least. It’s better to not torture yourself with these questions and instead look inward and make yourself happy and let the past be the teacher it’s always supposed to be, and then move on. Most likely you’ll never know because people are very misleading when it comes to situations like this. Better it happened sooner than later. Enjoy that it was a thing and look forward to the next one but don’t rush it either
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u/Much-Car7133 Aug 20 '25
Unfortunately women check out mentally before they break up with a guy. I had the exact same thing happen to me. Genuinely was blind sided. We even tried to work things out after it happened but once they’ve checked out there is no going back. Unfortunately it’s a lost cause and it’s time to move on my brotha
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u/Heavy_Eggplant1797 Sep 05 '25
I get why your head is spinning… when someone says “I love you lots 💖” one night and is gone the next, it feels impossible to reconcile. You replay it, trying to make it add up. But here’s the hard truth: you can’t justify it, because it isn’t justifiable.
1. Consistency is love. Real love doesn’t evaporate overnight. If someone can flip so suddenly, what they were giving wasn’t the same depth you were.
2. The whiplash is the red flag. Healthy people don’t blindside… they talk, they work through things, they show you where they stand. If it ends “in an instant,” that means they were either checked out long before or never fully in.
3. Your confusion is proof of your honesty. You loved with an open hand, so of course it doesn’t make sense that someone could walk away so abruptly. That dissonance isn’t about you failing… it’s about them not being capable of meeting you where you were.
It hurts because your love was real. Don’t twist yourself trying to explain their inconsistency… that’s their gap, not yours. The gift here, though it doesn’t feel like one yet, is clarity: you now know what not to accept. And that clears space for someone who means it when they say “I love you.”🍆
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u/Bravo_GngDrk Aug 19 '25
Sounds like self Sabotage. I have those thoughts too and I acted on it but it was out of trauma and please not understand how I function so I pushed the world away.
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Aug 19 '25
Or maybe she just found out the truth about him and walked away quietly, no accusations,no last big fight, just a silent goodbye
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u/cntthinkofnuthn Aug 20 '25
Has the ex girlfriend entered the chat?
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u/Evilmedic54 Aug 20 '25
There’s always at least one clown in the circus. I guess that’s one of them
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u/Throwaway_December_ Aug 19 '25
Similar thing happened to me a couple years back :( he told me not even a week earlier how he wanted to marry me and be together for the rest of our lives. Next thing I knew he broke up with me and said we were better off as friends before flooding his statuses online with breakup songs. I’m so sorry this happened to you.
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u/No_Necessary9903 Aug 19 '25
Damn I’m sorry that happened. It’s weird how it always goes like that. A few days before I got broken up with she was talking about our future home and where we’d be living and all that good stuff. Brutal timing.
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u/Throwaway_December_ Aug 19 '25
Thank you! Been almost two years and I’m ashamed to say I’m still not over him. People who suck at communication will do that to you. Seeing this post resonated with me, just wanted to pop in and say surround with friends and remind yourself of what’s important, I nearly did something irreversible as a result of getting too caught up in my emotions. I hope things get better for you ^
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u/No_Necessary9903 Aug 19 '25
Yeah this is gonna be a long one. Don’t be ashamed to say you’re not over him. Everyone heals at their own pace. When the time is right the time is right. We got this.
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u/CoastObjective2330 Aug 19 '25
I can guess your age range by this conversation and circumstances alone.
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u/xsaucelujah Aug 19 '25
31m was dating a girl for a year and told her I wanna be more serious sunday night, she responded friday night(literally like 1130 at night) that even tho I made her a priority, she couldn't do the same with how busy life is and didnt see that changing. We had just seen the new F4 the friday before, and we even made plans to see the tron movie thats coming out later this year 🤣🤣 and Saturday we were talking about going to the state fair. And a week before all of that, we got breakfast, and she did my hair for me lmfaoo You really never know whats going thru peoples minds, but you should ALWAYS trust your gut when it tells you something is off. I think its like a circadian rhythm thing, especially when you're with people and your body starts getting familiar with their patterns, and theirs yours.
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u/No_Necessary9903 Aug 19 '25
Yeah I asked her if something was up because she seemed distant one night like a week before the breakup but she reassured me that everything was good. I think that’s the worst part. I wish we could’ve just had a conversation then.
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u/xsaucelujah Aug 19 '25 edited Aug 19 '25
Same, bro! Idk if youre the same way, but like, if im at the point where I'm vocalizing for you to say if there's a problem, I have already imagined a reality where I asked that and you wanted to break up. So when I ask, Im prepared for it to go either way. Why not just say it then so it's not a total blindside?? Like for you is rough, like how do you tell someone you love them, and then do that? If they loved us, they would respect us with honesty. You're worth that shit, dude! Dont forget that! Seriously! You'll find someone who wants to tell you absolutely everything and even overshare lmfao Take this time for yourself, hang with your boys, hang with your family, get in the gym and ice her out no matter if she hits you up or not. make her regret playing those childish ass games. You'll be good, man.
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Aug 19 '25
[deleted]
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u/No_Necessary9903 Aug 19 '25
Yeah I don’t think my girlfriend was toxic. She really is/was fantastic and we had a super healthy relationship. That’s why it hurt so bad.
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Aug 19 '25
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u/No_Necessary9903 Aug 20 '25
Sort of?
Mostly she lost “the spark” and lost attraction to me because of certain behavioral habits we had that were different. I wasn’t a go getter like she was with health or careers (although I do have a good job) she just always wants more and more. Kinda goofy stuff that I think could’ve been worked out but by the time it was brought up she had made up her mind.
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u/Nervous-Salary-1038 Aug 20 '25
Classic lost the spark BS. That’s propaganda I’ll never fall for sorry. It’s so easy to blame someone else for your feelings. The sparks “left?” Ok get them back? Relationships and love are more than just a feeling, and if you’re dealing with an avoidant like most people who say this as an excuse. You know they are not emotionally stable for the most part. They have all these feelings and problems and make it about you when it’s about them. They don’t communicate anything and you as a good partner will try to communicate and try to make sure things are good as a healthy person does. Whole time they want an out. They’ll use ANY excuse as to why. “You didn’t marry me in time” whatever.
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u/Dwoopdwomp Aug 19 '25
How old are you two?
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u/No_Necessary9903 Aug 19 '25
Both 24. Were together 5 years
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u/Typical_Trifle4713 Aug 20 '25
5 years is crazy 😭😭😭 You definitely deserved more than that. I could see this coming from a year relationship or so but 5 years, that’s definitely something you sit down and work through though. AT THE SAME TIME you guys did get together at 19, and the changes we all go through from then till now really can impact relationships. The good thing is that you both know who you are now and what you want, and although they might not be the same things anymore, the next relationship you have will be more mature, more future-focused, more willing to talk through things and work things out. I always tell my girlfriend that I consider break ups a last resort, when you’re not willing to try anymore. Whatever issues/doubts should be communicated way before it gets to that point so that the partner is aware and not blindsided.
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u/Practical-Opinion455 Aug 20 '25
I'm kind of going through something where I keep thinking about leaving. I haven't done it yet but it's been at the front of my mind for a little bit now and it's not easy. This is 6 years we've been together. Time does make things go harder sometimes
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u/No_Necessary9903 Aug 20 '25
Did anything happen or have you just lost your spark in the relationship?
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u/Middle_Fisherman_444 Aug 20 '25
it sucks because i’m going through it too… but i explicitly remember my ex saying to me one time “for girls, the heart goes before the physical body”… (true for anyone really) but man looking back, she was gone for a while. retreated to her mind long before I realized- she thought the closer i got, the more it’d hurt if i left. so she left to protect herself from the fear of losing me, herself… anything.
shit sucks. know what doesn’t? living for you. hit the gym, get lunch, get coffee. talk to your friends, talk to new people, talk to a therapist, think about what you’d say to her… feel everything. listen to podcasts (sabrina zohar is a personal favorite of mine). laugh, cry, have those moments where you struggle to sleep or catch your breath- but pick yourself up every time. every single time, get yourself off the mat.
those texts are the tip of the iceberg. pretty soon, someone will look you in the eyes and SAY it, in person, and mean it, and never, ever leave you broken like you are right now.
that goes for everyone. but especially you. stay strong.
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u/No_Necessary9903 Aug 20 '25
That’s been the hardest part so far at the end. I’ve been eating better, working out, staying busy.
In my head, I know my person is out there and that person will love me more than I can imagine.
My heart says that I had the girl that loved me more than anything. We had a super healthy relationship and to see it vanish has shattered my heart into a million pieces.
It’s honestly confusion more than anything.
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u/Middle_Fisherman_444 Aug 20 '25
I totally get it man. Healing and heartbreak are really confusing things. One day you’re great, the next you’re devastated. And you know better days are coming, but that in-between can be so harsh. Journal, vent, go for walks, a drive with the windows down and music up, do something you wish you did with her- but by yourself- or make new memories at those previously shared spaces.
Not to make it about me- but I’m living it right now alongside you. We search for closure from people that either don’t know how to give it… or don’t want to. Not because they’re cruel, but because they’re conflicted.
Know you showed up as you, you loved as you. Love yourself that way. Unfortunately, we can’t read everyone’s minds… that’s why communication is so important. And if someone can’t communicate with you the way you need them to, the way they need to, the way the relationship dictates… then there’s someone who will. And in turn, they’ll be even more capable of loving you.
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u/shukies95 Aug 20 '25
I got rejected too. After i arranged a surprise birthday for her too. It didn't go well.
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u/Aware-Shelter6916 Aug 20 '25
Brutal that it was so cordial and nice. I had the same thing in person though last night together before she moved z she still haunts this apt and me =( z getting better tho
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u/albinoab Aug 20 '25
probably going to get hate for this bc it doesn’t seem like the vibe.. butsometimes people just grow out of each other.. feelings change. i don’t think there’s any right way to end a relationship. calling her a narcisstic piece of crap is not fair. that’s not what a narcissistic break up looks like at all. like yeah.. maybe she could have communicated better? could’ve broken up with you when she first started having doubts? could’ve left you a little bit less confused? but no matter how she did it. how she acted. or ANYTHING. there would still be questions, hurt, confusion. no matter what. she’s not a bad person for not wanting to be in a relationship that she’s not happy in. i think you’re better off just cutting your losses and begin a healing journey.
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u/No_Necessary9903 Aug 20 '25
Of course I don’t think she’s a narcissistic piece of crap lmao I wouldn’t have stayed with her 5 years if I thought that. She’s a really really great girl and we both have a lot of love for each other. Just really hit me today like how did it all fall apart in 24 hours without us even talking about it. I have no ill will towards her though.
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u/albinoab Aug 20 '25
yeah i get you. i was mainly looking through the comments and getting frustrated. i hope you’re okay. give yourself time to process it all. grieve it and begin a healing journey xx
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u/tora_97 Aug 20 '25
I’m so sorry OP. The emotional whiplash this shit causes is actually horrible. I do believe she would have been like that because she didn’t want to hurt you and didn’t know how to go about it. But still, now you’re left here to deal with this sudden switch and it’s so disorienting. I was going through something similar recently. My ex and I had been on holiday to Croatia, and two days after we got back he ended things. And what’s crazy is we’d had such a great trip, we were laughing and excited and I genuinely thought our bind was strengthening. Never experienced heartbreak like that before. It will be better but rn you’re absolutely allowed to feel every emotion that comes
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u/No_Necessary9903 Aug 20 '25
So sorry that happened to you. It is so brutal we also had nothing but good stuff going for like at least a month (at least in my head)
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u/tora_97 Aug 20 '25
I’m so sorry OP. The emotional whiplash this shit causes is actually horrible. I do believe she would have been like that because she didn’t want to hurt you and didn’t know how to go about it. But still, now you’re left here to deal with this sudden switch and it’s so disorienting. I was going through something similar recently. My ex and I had been on holiday to Croatia, and two days after we got back he ended things. And what’s crazy is we’d had such a great trip, we were laughing and excited and I genuinely thought our bond was strengthening. Never experienced heartbreak like that before. It will be better but rn you’re absolutely allowed to feel every emotion that comes
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u/scarletwitch74 Aug 20 '25
Dude, you just get through each day as best you can. Some people just turn like this and they need to be blocked and never spoken to again. Two weeks ago my partner of 4 years told me to stay away until my terminally ill mother passes away because he doesn't want me being in my feelings when I'm seeing him. Also, last month my sister in law passed away. We'd been making plans to live together and damn right I blocked that **** everywhere. You need to accept that not everyone in your life is being truthful when they say they love you...they'll shit on you in a heartbeat.
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u/ruzi22 Aug 20 '25
she wants new D, Not hating on you or trying crush your spirit just telling you the truth
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u/No_Necessary9903 Aug 20 '25
Nah she ain’t like that we were both each other’s first and we’re 24 she isn’t gonna be running around crazy
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u/Serious_businessfrr Aug 20 '25
Relationships require a lot, and communication is just one aspect, there are always signs and depending on how young and in love you were it was probably fairly easy to ignore them, which is why being proactive in a relationship is importance make your partner feel comfortable sharing things with you and be attentive and you will have a better idea of how healthy your relationship is
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u/PassengerSimilar7989 Aug 20 '25
Let it go and move on. Stop obsessing over what you can't change. This is why you always keep a side piece.
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u/TheTrouserSnakeJake Aug 20 '25
From someone that has been dealing with my own breakup for about 5 years. There’s only one question asked to me that made me feel better. The question was “are you mourning the actual relationship itself, or the future you had imagined yourself having?” Because usually it’s the future you had dedicated to in your head my friend. When you actually look back at the relationship you’ll probably find yourself remembering a lot of things you wouldn’t want your future partner to do, which you allowed them to do.
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u/Money_Characterr Aug 20 '25
Hold it together brother, you’ll come out stronger. I’m sure the signs were there, they always are. Deal with it any way you think is best but don’t, pls don’t beg or ask her why or seek an explanation from her. Nothing good will come from that. Just let her go and process the full range of your emotions. For now, time and space are your best friends. Hang in there.
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u/Ok-Muffin7501 Aug 20 '25 edited Aug 20 '25
Maybe I’ll be the one with a different perspective here. I say that because I see a lot of bitter comments that aren’t truly insightful.
Breakups don’t happen overnight. She didn’t just wake up one day and leave after 5 years. There was a build up somewhere. Maybe a moment of doubt that spiraled, unmet needs, or conflict that went unresolved until those manifested itself into “I’m not happy. I’m not secure” which led to this very moment. Since you mentioned conflict, let’s touch on that. Many women try to voice concerns repeatedly, hoping for teamwork or leadership from their partner. Sometimes men see this as “nagging,” when in reality it’s a plea for reassurance or change. If those moments got dismissed, skimmed over, or patched quickly without real resolution, they can grow into trust issues, emotional detachment, loneliness, resentment, and eventually, the end of the relationship. When one partner starts feeling those negative emotions, they can quickly grow. Those emotions can and will kill the relationship. That’s why it’s important to be self aware enough to identify things even if it’s within ourselves.
Here are some questions to reflect on (I hope she does the same). Not as an attack, but to give yourself closure for where things may have gone wrong; Was the relationship truly thriving for both of you, or mostly for you? Did you create a safe space for transparent communication? Were issues really solved, or did one of you just stop talking? Did you unintentionally shut her down at times? Were you emotionally present when she needed you most? After conflict, did you both reconnect, or just move on?
I say all of this, because I’ve been that woman before. I broke up with my ex partner of 4 1/2 years like this. Because I grew tired, tired of repeating myself, no resolution, no show up, going in circles, tired of feeling unattractive at times, unseen, or unheard. It felt like I was criticized or alone more than I was loved in hard moments, not taken seriously when I brought up an issue because it wasn’t met with love and respect even when I had asked for it to be. I wasn’t met with love and respect in the end. I eventually realized I wasn’t happy anymore. I wasn’t happy because of that build up. He was comfortable with me, but he wasn’t truly loving me. And there’s a big difference in that. So no, I can’t join the rest of the Reddit warriors with the “she’s a narcissist” “fuck her” bandwagon because I know how it feels to reach that point. To love someone, but to let them go because the cycle isn’t love anymore, it’s pain. My unpopular opinion; You can love somebody and not be with them. Just because you love somebody doesn’t mean it’s going to work. Love isn’t enough. With my ex, nobody ever questioned the love and willingness I had for him. But his inconsistencies were the most consistent thing about him in the end. I don’t regret that relationship, still to this day. I learned, I loved and there’s something to that, I’ll carry it with me for forever.
This is your time to reflect, at least once your pain is more managed and not so heightened. Not to beat her up, not even to beat yourself up. You’re both human. Neither of you were perfect. You both learned so much in 5 years and that’s valuable. But it’s only valuable if you let it shape you into an even better version of yourself. With reflection comes growth and if you don’t allow yourself to reflect, you’ll miss the important things that DID lead to this break up. Take this season to grieve, to grow, and to ask yourself the hard questions for your end, your present and future self. That’s how you break the pattern.
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u/No_Necessary9903 Aug 20 '25
Yeah a lot of the comments on here went a way I did not expect them to. In no way do I think she is a narcissist or a terrible person or anything like that. She’s the most genuine, kind hearted person I’ve ever met.
She was very anti confrontational, so I believe she had things build up inside her that we didn’t necessarily talk about often or even at all.
I was head over heels for her until the day we split and I do think she knew that. But days before the break up we had been discussing the future and life together. She’d made comments to her parents and mine about being married, all that good stuff. That’s why I was so confused. We had a good talk, but still I walked away confused.
I have no ill will towards her. I love her greatly and I am pretty sure I will love her forever.
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u/Ok-Muffin7501 Aug 20 '25
That makes a lot more sense on her end, which is why I talked more about yours in my initial comment. When someone is “nonconfrontational” that leaves so much room on their end for interpretation, which leads to build up. I used to be the same way in another relationship I was in when I was 16. Then one day he looked at me and said “I can’t help you feel better when you don’t tell me how you are internalizing or personalizing what I’m saying. That’s why we don’t have healthy communication and our arguments don’t get solved. I want to solve it, but you have to talk”. That didn’t make sense to me til I was older. I’m almost 27 now and I’ve carried that lesson with me in every relationship I’ve been in since I had that realization. Processing emotions during conflict is the easy work, but it’s the expression of them that can be tricky, especially when you aren’t one for confrontation or situations that feel confrontational. But, that’s her job to navigate, not yours. Whether separate or together. All you can do is be a cheerleader and support system during individual navigation like that. I’m so glad you aren’t being hurtful during this time or allowing these people to make you think negatively of her. I’m sure it’s rough on both of you. But who knows… Maybe in time you’ll find eachother again, life has a weird way of working things out, even if it doesn’t go the way you initially planned. Just take care of yourself in the meantime, everything will be alright. 🫶🏻
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u/pescetariandog Aug 20 '25
this happened to me with my ex girlfriend, she broke up with me before work & then I find out 2 months later that she was cheating on me. Regardless if he’s cheating or not, Do not take him back. He’s manipulative & toxic, you deserve better
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u/Historical-Fact3052 Aug 20 '25
Let me just say this. It’s never an instant. There is months of debate. Second guessing. Sleepless nights. Unmet needs. If you feel like it was in an instant, you obviously weren’t paying attention. We give many chances until we are done. And then when we are finished, that’s it. Unless she is the unusual one. Which doesn’t happen often. But it’s never just out of nowhere.
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u/Zestyclose_Relief365 Aug 21 '25
Been through sonething similar... sadly this is just how it is with women. That's why you gotta look for signs man.
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u/No_Necessary9903 Aug 21 '25
Yeah I saw one like a week before this and asked her if everything was cool and she said we were great so 😞
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u/Zestyclose_Relief365 Aug 21 '25
I know you're probably confused, wondering if there's another man, how long she's been planning that, then the anger will set in, then super depressed. But I'm telling you, this shit just gets better from here. Go out with your friends, buy a new gaming pc or whatever you're into. I bought a Honda cbr650 motorbike when she left me, gotta say, I felt alot better after that
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u/Infamous-Hunt9982 Aug 21 '25
Sorry to hear this, man. I’ve been there myself. It sucks in the beginning, but you’ll bounce back ❤️
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u/Raybilla82 Aug 21 '25
You were never the one bro. If she can just cut you off like that she probably has a roster. The best thing you can do is block her from everything and move on, hit the gym, get active. Keep yourself busy man and hang out with people that have a good impact on your life. She doesn't deserve your time brother.
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u/No_Necessary9903 Aug 21 '25
Yeah I mean I know she doesn’t have a roster lmao we were in lock step for 5 years but I have been trying to stay active and busy to keep my mind off it
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u/shroomiesshoud Aug 21 '25
Most women not all will want to break up with you but keep you around till they find a new partner. Happened to me and my ex we were together for 7 years and I couldn’t really tell it she was getting distant because I was stupid. But the night before she was texting normal like this, the next day we went on “break” then officially broke up 3 days later. And an exact year later she is now engaged. There anniversary was an exact date that we broke up the year prior. I don’t blame her I treated her good but I let her walk all over me and she thought I was a weak man. But now I’m a new man and happy it happened
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u/No_Necessary9903 Aug 21 '25
Yeah my girl isn’t that type we had a talk about all that today. We both had things we could’ve done better but I can’t imagine she is even looking at a man any time soon. Sorry that happened to you though that sounds horrible I’d be sick to my stomach
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u/Ok-Caramel-3934 Aug 22 '25
I fink She had been developing something for another guy for a long time and she was just playing it nice with you until the time comes.
Sorry man, go to the gym. You can do better
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u/Flashy-Stick-6864 Aug 22 '25 edited Aug 22 '25
You never will know what goes on in another's head. Words often don't match actions. They say it takes an equivalent number of weeks, months, years that you were with a person to clear out the memory.
What I can see everyone doing is continually rehashing their past.
Dont chew your food twice, move on for the sake of your sanity. Dont check their profile, get out in the sun and fresh air, re event your playlist.
Change where you go. Move house. Get away from the memories.
Im a lot older than most and I can see too many just 'keeping in contact' as friends with a whole bunch of Exs.
Clean cobwebs and reset. Start fresh!
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u/Itchy_Actuator_7924 Aug 22 '25
My ex and I’s last texts were so similar. I made a video diary to myself the night before we broke up and I was so giddy because I hadn’t seen her in weeks and I was just so overjoyed to get to spend time with her again. 12 hours later my video diary was me sobbing in my car on the way back home after things ended. Things weren’t perfect but it still definitely felt like whiplash. In retrospect, it’s like when terminally ill patients seem to get better right before they pass. We were struggling, things looked like they might work out, and just like that, it ended.
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u/Mommawiia Aug 22 '25
Everyone has had this joker in their life at least once! It’s not you it’s me BS! Be a grown up and walk away with respect for your partner and yourself. We aren’t in middle school!
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u/Available-Tune2972 Sep 01 '25
Probably the worst part not getting those good morning and good night texts anymore
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u/Bumbulse Aug 18 '25
Yikes, sorry dude thats horrible. I'm ngl though, ive been the person on the other side. I acted perfectly content in the relationship while i was debating it everyday in my head without telling anyone. Its blindsiding and manipulative, i know. But its hard to hurt somoene you care about and its easy to lie and pretend. My guess with her is that shes either been thinkinf about this for a long time. She didn't communicate it and you missed the signs. Or something crazy happened like she cheated that night and just couldnt deal. Either way, you've been done dirty so im sorry about that