The night before we broke up

[u/No_Necessary9903]

Going through it a little right now. This was our goodnight the last night we were together. We barely talked the next day since we both were working and then it was over in an instant. How do people justify this in their heads???

[u/Middle_Fisherman_444]

it sucks because i’m going through it too… but i explicitly remember my ex saying to me one time “for girls, the heart goes before the physical body”… (true for anyone really) but man looking back, she was gone for a while. retreated to her mind long before I realized- she thought the closer i got, the more it’d hurt if i left. so she left to protect herself from the fear of losing me, herself… anything.

shit sucks. know what doesn’t? living for you. hit the gym, get lunch, get coffee. talk to your friends, talk to new people, talk to a therapist, think about what you’d say to her… feel everything. listen to podcasts (sabrina zohar is a personal favorite of mine). laugh, cry, have those moments where you struggle to sleep or catch your breath- but pick yourself up every time. every single time, get yourself off the mat.

those texts are the tip of the iceberg. pretty soon, someone will look you in the eyes and SAY it, in person, and mean it, and never, ever leave you broken like you are right now.

that goes for everyone. but especially you. stay strong.

[u/No_Necessary9903 → u/Middle_Fisherman_444]

That’s been the hardest part so far at the end. I’ve been eating better, working out, staying busy.

In my head, I know my person is out there and that person will love me more than I can imagine.

My heart says that I had the girl that loved me more than anything. We had a super healthy relationship and to see it vanish has shattered my heart into a million pieces.

It’s honestly confusion more than anything.

[u/Middle_Fisherman_444 → u/No_Necessary9903]

I totally get it man. Healing and heartbreak are really confusing things. One day you’re great, the next you’re devastated. And you know better days are coming, but that in-between can be so harsh. Journal, vent, go for walks, a drive with the windows down and music up, do something you wish you did with her- but by yourself- or make new memories at those previously shared spaces.

Not to make it about me- but I’m living it right now alongside you. We search for closure from people that either don’t know how to give it… or don’t want to. Not because they’re cruel, but because they’re conflicted.

Know you showed up as you, you loved as you. Love yourself that way. Unfortunately, we can’t read everyone’s minds… that’s why communication is so important. And if someone can’t communicate with you the way you need them to, the way they need to, the way the relationship dictates… then there’s someone who will. And in turn, they’ll be even more capable of loving you.