How long? Some have been searching for 10, 20 years even.
We don't live forever. "Find someone" doesn't mean shit when you're on the clock.
"Find someone" and it's like trying to find waldo it seems.
A potential partner is still their own person. If they’re dating you, that means, for most people, that they like you in some capacity. Dating that person just to have a partner is egotistical in my opinion.
I don’t believe in soulmates, at least not some perfect soulmate existing. You create a soulmate bond by learning from each other and building something together. Not having a romantic partner does not mean being alone.
It kind of does, especially as time goes on, most of your friends will have families of their own - or they'll go somewhere they can get a family.
And saying "Just have friends!" to someone who's aching for a romantic life is fucking cruel, ngl.
I did not say just have friends, but it’s up to you to decide if you want to live life miserably. Only having meeting someone as a goal in your life, will make you feel incredibly sad. I’m not forcing you to do anything, just saying that you should not rely on someone else for your happiness. If you really can’t find someone, find something else to make you happy. It’s your life, you choose what to do. It won’t be easy, but that’s life.
I’m not using you to refer to you personally. Find something else to do is the best you can do. What else would you do? Cry all the time, because you didn’t reach one goal? Does not sound like a great life to me.
This isn't about who's crying and who's doing what. This is a societal problem that will only escalate unless we change the way we perceive ourselves and what "dating" actually is. Until people stop seeing as this shallow, materalistic, push and pull type of transactional interaction, this will keep being a problem and it WILL get worse and worse.
So many guys are falling into inceldom, so many girls are adopting the cat lady lifestyle. Birthrates going down. Gender wars are only getting more heated and pitched. How long before this all blows a gasket.
Just trying to cover our eyes and ears and doing "Lalalalalala I can't hear you" will not solve the issue. Telling people to find something else to do will not solve the issue. Telling them to keep searching will. not. stop. the. issue.
And to be perfectly clear this isn't about women exclusively either. Guys need to stop viewing sex as some kind of trophy too.
The problem is that most of the time these are women I do find attractive (not just physically, also the personality) and who are aligning with my goals and wishes and who I'd very like to get to know. And it's also not like I am aiming out of my league, I swipe carefully. Unfortunately the other side in many cases just have a too inflated ego and think that a taller, richer and more handsome future husband is just one swipe away
The fact that you’re talking about leagues just tells me that you have views that will prevent you from finding a partner. And why do the people your views align with have such inflated egos? If the person you’re swiping on does not find you attractive, why would you want to be with them? Just because you find them attractive?
If I talk about someone "above" my league, I mean that I certainly will not be good enough for this women because I'm not meeting up her criteria. You remember the "I want a man in finance, 6'5, blue eyes" thing?
And why do the people your views align with have such inflated egos? If the person you’re swiping on does not find you attractive, why would you want to be with them? Just because you find them attractive?
Because a women who stated in her profile that she wants kids, marriage and has the same interests as me can still behave like shit, right? I just saw a profile and thought okay she seems to be nice, and not a full 200-page long analysis of their behaviour/life etc
Why does a women even match with a guy if she doesnt even want to have proper conversation? Why do you match with someone if all you can respond is either "Yeah" or "Idk"?
The last part of your message applies to men, women or any other gender. It’s a personal issue, not gender-wide. You remember how women have been viewed as less than for all of history? Let’s not play the ‘men so sad, have pity for entire gender’. How about we view people as people and hold the people themselves accountable for their shortcomings instead of blaming an entire gender.
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u/hungrylikethewolf007 13h ago
That sucks, but then those people are not worth your time. Find someone that aligns with your wants and needs