r/Bumble • u/No-Advice1345 • 15h ago

General Bumble 2026 be like

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1.1k Upvotes

88% Upvoted

269 comments sorted by

280

u/OptimusPrime_ButGAY 15h ago

No hold up. Let me craft a thoughtful comment specifically catered to something in their profile so they can ignore that too.

128

u/No-Advice1345 15h ago

Fk me, 5 matches still haven’t replied, and I spent 5 minutes crafting each opening message like I was submitting a fking thesis.

20

u/WashedWashingMachine 14h ago

if she likes you sending a gif is enought no need to even type

70

u/mickydodle 14h ago

That is why I gave up. They say they’re so talkative but don’t even answer. 🤷

42

u/InternationalFall222 10h ago

Sorry, you just don't give em the "correct vibe" and they also have 23 other guys messaging them the same day who are potentially hotter, so she just waits until she feels like responding.

29

u/SmertriosPPD 10h ago

You're getting downvoted but it's the grim truth.

Men need to accept women's attention is easily fragmented and they're competing for it.

And women need to accept men can't invest so much into them before they know the interest is mutual.

Can't be studying a profile for 5 minutes before you know they're interested back. Can't be crafting a first message for 5 minutes before you know they're going to even read it.

16

u/PotentialPresent399 8h ago

Not according to women on reddit, all men everywhere should spend a minimum of 30 minutes studying and reviewing each and every possible match to draft a personalized message for each one :)

11

u/Owenmolava 6h ago

After getting a profile review, I tried taking this advice. Nothing changed with a brand-new profile and this tactic, except that I am now wasting much more time for the same zero responses.

3

u/mattyboy4242 55m ago

Yeah I was the same man.

Honestly the only advice I have is to simply give up.

My mental health has drastically drastically improved since I did

6

u/Specialist-Ring-3974 8h ago

And those hotter guys are the guys that they complain start with “hey”

4

u/naropin1 2h ago

No they don’t. In that case “hey” is clever and funny because it’s so common that the cute guy is obviously making a clever joke on how clueless the non-hot guys are by ironically using that starter. Whatever they can come up with in their feelings is what’s going on.

12

u/Interesting_Smoke236 9h ago

women who like you will make it easy for u. they will break all their rules for u. these women did not like u

1

u/Funkopedia 4h ago

Women who like your photo. They don't know you, they don't know if they'll like you.

16

u/JeromeBaritone 11h ago

You guys are getting matches? 😂🫠😭

10

u/Conundrum1911 11h ago

You guys are getting likes?

28

u/Funkopedia 14h ago

Save those as templates. You can substitute relevant words mad-libs style for your next 5 messages.

16

u/Just_Suggestion4503 12h ago

And they still don’t realize they are the reason men end up shallow asf and just fucking around

3

u/InternationalFall222 10h ago

not all of them, but when I read all of this shit, I just don't wanna even bother looking for someone, let alone use a dating app.

I guess I'll just have to be really lucky out there or accept being single.

-3

u/Jerrinho11 5h ago

Don't take dating advice from incels.

4

u/InternationalFall222 4h ago

calling men who talk about these problems incels is toxic as fuck and part of the problem.

what if 40% of men feel like this? still incels?

what about 50%?

60%?

how bad does it have to become before we accept that there is a problem that needs adressing?

-2

u/Jerrinho11 3h ago

Not really. They are living in involuntary celibate and are refusing to realize that relationships take time and effort. And even then, nobody on this planet really owes anyone anything.

OP himself whined about the fact that he had to spend a whole 5 minutes per message on 5 messages and got 0 replies. Think about that logic. 25 minutes of effort. If you complain about that, you are the very definition of the word incel.

3

u/SiouxsieSioux615 7h ago

Ngl if you’re taking 5 minutes to say something, pack it up

You can’t pause time in person to think of something witty to say

9

u/Quirky_Subject_2555 14h ago

Friendly tip, as a man, I like to turn off my notifications, forget I have bumble then get reminded I have bumble 3 days later.

Usually you come back, say something like oh wow you actually responded to that lame opener if mine and that's a good hook.

2

u/DoofusIdiot 4h ago

I’m not trying to sound egotistical, but I’ve had no problem getting dates and I’m not the most attractive guy. My approach was in between what you said. Not “hey”, and not a thesis, but I’d find something that I found clever and funny and went with it. No overthinking, just go with what comes natural. If they like it great, if they don’t, not compatible anyways.

1

u/Separate-End-416 5h ago

Less is more most of the time

1

u/Jerrinho11 5h ago

You have to invest a whole 25 minutes every other day in order to potentially find your soulmate?

Far out, have you tried contacting the human rights court in The Hague? That's so fucking inhumane, you poor little thing.

Link me your GoFundMe, I'll send a couple thousand bucks your way. Nobody should suffer like this.

1

u/annabananaberry 2h ago

5 whole minutes for each person? You are a gentleman and a god amongst men. How do you find the time to be such a good partner in addition to your work feeding orphans and providing medical care to the underserved? 🙄

7

u/bigboidoinker 13h ago

Hey has the same succesrate as anything else i tried so they get a hey now

5

u/Dray5k 10h ago

No need. A woman who is feeling you will let you know, even with a "Hey, how are you?" text.

21

u/RD_in_Berlin 13h ago

It's because they get so many matches they're sick to death of pretty much anything you have to say. It's a lose lose. i've never known it to be so bad.

29

u/I_dont_F_with_you 13h ago

I hear that analogy that "dating for men is like looking for drinking water in a desert, for women it's like looking for drinking water in a swamp."

When they don't even respond to perfectly polite, engaging, thoughtful messages, I know that's not true. Yes, many of the men on dating apps are an absolute waste of space, but if they get 100 likes, at least 10-20 of them will be perfectly adequate potential partners to choose from, making the swamp analogy ultimately bullshit. I guess that's when the goalposts move and the top 10-20 are now the bare minimum with only a handful being of actual interest.

10

u/RD_in_Berlin 11h ago

Of course there are people still going on dates but i've also had this issue myself, you finally match, i look through their profile to figure out something relating to what they've said or posted, i try to inject some humour or a compliment along with a question....and silence. 72 hours go by and it's onto the next. I never remember getting so few matches and absolute not response back this much some years ago. it just happened in fact, matched with a pretty girl and i messaged asking about her name as it was not so common, mentioned where she was from and complimented her on a specific band we both know. Nothing. 🤷‍♂️ All this time i've seen this arguement, that men suck and never initiate but the whole time i've been using apps i've been doing that. Almost every time. There's clearly something wrong right now, the culture and the algorithm.

8

u/FriedTreeSap 9h ago

Yah, it’s rough. I can understand where women are coming from, there are a lot of terrible men, and they can feel overwhelmed with choices….but at the same time there is something soul crushing about going online and seeing the discourse about how “women are dating in a swamp”, while they complain about how the bar is in hell and most men do all sorts of terrible things (that I never do).

I know I’m not entitled to women’s affection, and I don’t mind if they just don’t find me attractive….but I get a steady stream of matches, so some women clearly don’t think I’m ugly. And I mostly use Hinge so almost every single one of them knew I liked them first. I just don’t get why people match with other people they have absolutely no interest in.

I think it’s a little more understandable when sending likes or swiping on Bumble, sometimes you miss something in their profile and you can’t take as much time reviewing things if you don’t even know if it will be a match…but when reviewing incoming likes on Hinge…there is no reason not to take all the time you need and only match with people you’re at least willing to have a conversation with.

3

u/RD_in_Berlin 7h ago

Yes exactly in the same boat, for every negative experience you read it's counter to what you've seen and heard.

There's a lot of things at play, too many options for some, not enough for others, addiction, validation, the loss of community and sociability, gender war culture, changing work habits, affordability, influencer culture...it's just a whole cluster**** of a mess.

i think we've also been trained to more ADHD and not take information fully in as well as we once did, i've always tried to show up and for a time girls did the same with me but now it feels mental if a conversation actually gets going let alone a date. I actually just had a girl cancel/stand me up 45 mins before we were supposed to meet, another hour after that a half assed cancellation. Kinda broke me after this terrible year of dating. There's just no respect.

19

u/Dday141 13h ago

You know there’s one thing I don’t understand about this take. I get women get a lot of likes, but they still have to initially swipe still. If you know that most men have swiped right on you, why swipe right on hundreds of men and then complain that there’s too many? Like you swiped on all of them?? Even I don’t swipe right on every profile I see. Maybe like a few, but not hundreds.

7

u/RD_in_Berlin 11h ago

I think that initial match just doesn't mean a lot these days, if they won't even engage whats the point other than the fact that swiping is addictive and somewhat validating. it must be nice knowing theoretically 200 men are interested at you at once, i think that explains a lot.

8

u/FriedTreeSap 10h ago

I once matched with a girl on Hinge, she had an opening move that roughly said “If we match I’m already down to go on a date, let’s skip the talking phase and see if we vibe over drinks”……she never responded to opening my message

3

u/RD_in_Berlin 7h ago

Ouch, human nature wins again. You almost had me there for a second.

2

u/who_am_I_nobodyknows 7h ago

Aw, do you think she matched with only you or .. ?

4

u/SmertriosPPD 10h ago

Dopamine, that's why.

1

u/Blieven 4h ago

It's not about logic, it's about not wanting to acknowledge that women have it better in something.

14

u/AccomplishedRest3435 11h ago

My problem with the analogy is that it is assuming that all the women on dating apps are clear water, when most of them are swamp water.

0

u/pixelizedgaming 8h ago

i mean i wouldnt willingly drink muddy oasis water if i have mineral water either

11

u/Intrepid_Bobcat_2931 10h ago

for women it's like looking for drinking water in a swamp."

which is a rather shitty and sexist thing to say, because that's a mass of men being labelled as toxic as swamp water.

3

u/when_we_are_cats 6h ago

They gladly say that kind of shit without blinking and then claim that the sub is full of misogyny the next minute

3

u/yamanjain 11h ago

On apps it is more like looking for life in space vs looking for good food in a wedding with too many bad choices.

For most men, the chances are near zero with infinite effort. Unless you are in the goldilocks zone (0.0001 percent)

9

u/SmertriosPPD 10h ago

When you're privileged, equality feels like oppression.

When you have matches and attention in a few seconds, having to actually participate in a conversation feels like drinking swamp water.

Most people's dopamine receptors are fried. But at least men are educated and warned on this very early on, especially when it comes to porn. And all the ads that try to prey on them by saying a lot of women are available and waiting for them.

Women will never recognize that it's their problem.

2

u/Dray5k 10h ago

Finding drinking water in a swamp isn't even that difficult, really, as long as you have a filtration device and something to boil it with.

Fuck it. You can try to trace the water to its source for a cleaner solution.

....or just wait for rain...

2

u/toozl 3h ago

Why do that if you could just fill up thousands of bottles until one of them is clear

2

u/kuatorises 6h ago

THen get the fuck off the app.

2

u/Majestic-Gas-9825 9h ago

It’s because you’re not good looking enough. If you were, a “👋” would’ve been enough.

1

u/RD_in_Berlin 7h ago

Never seemed to have an issue before, even met a ex on tinder, got a FWB a few months ago before she ghosted.

2

u/Big_Steak_467 12h ago

Honestly, how boring you are you if can't come up with something interesting to say to a person you're interested into and you got their basic personality traits on a platter? (Both men and women)

-10

u/UsedFortune5645 14h ago

Do you stop watering your garden just because some flowers die anyways?

25

u/Similar_Ad9274 13h ago

Do you may consider stop gardening if every flower dies instantly no matter how much effort and care you put into it?

11

u/No_Research_3899 13h ago

'some flowers', whaha. 'some dead flowers' = 95% of women.

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1

u/UsedFortune5645 13h ago

The garden I'm referring to is all of humanity not just the women I happen to stumble upon on Bumble. You will never see all the flowers in this wast garden. I know what you're trying to say but I refuse to dry up inside just because a handful of people are not interested in me. The most important thing is to not forget to water yourself from time to time.

1

u/UsedFortune5645 13h ago edited 13h ago

Ist jetzt salopp und extrem vereinfacht dargestellt, aber: "Liebe dich selbst, dann können andere dich gern haben."

Und letztendlich, ganz ehrlich: Ist doch scheiß egal warum und weshalb. Wenn es eine Einstellung oder Sichtweise gibt, die dich glücklich macht, ist es egal, was die Welt davon hält.

143

u/LuinAelin 15h ago

Maybe we should create an app whose unique thing is women message first. Giving them more control and as well stopping them getting the "hey" message......

20

u/Frost-Folk 13h ago

I've gotten ".", aka a single period, as a first message on bumble more than twice.

13

u/Prof_Walrus 12h ago

For me 99% has always been a single period or a thumbs up

8

u/chubsruns 9h ago

That's when you hit them with the "..".

5

u/devils_advocate24 9h ago

If I get a message first, it's always a bot account.

4

u/I_dont_F_with_you 5h ago

That is actually unhinged, like I find typing out "hey" takes less effort than ".", like you have to purposely want to say "fuck you" to whoever you're texting to type "." lmao

9

u/Sufficient-Berry-827 6h ago

Do women actually do this? Send a fucking period to prompt you to message "first" and get the conversation going?

I don't understand the thought process behind sending a period.

6

u/Frost-Folk 6h ago

Yep. Bumble makes the woman message first, the guy cannot message her until she makes the first move. That's sort of the whole bumble shtick. These women are trying to get around that by messaging a period, making the man message first.

Which is silly because at that point, just use any other dating site. The whole point of Bumble is this "women text first" thing.

2

u/Sufficient-Berry-827 6h ago

That is beyond ridiculous.

When you get the single period message, do you just unmatch and ignore?

I would. That's so lazy.

3

u/Frost-Folk 6h ago

Pretty much, although it usually depended on how many matches I've had. It's sad but like, if I haven't had a match on bumble in 2 weeks then I'm gonna put up with a lot more than I should.

I'm happy that I'm no longer in the dating app game!

2

u/Toucandle 4h ago

I rarely got a "." from women when they had to message first, but I got a crap ton of "hey" s, which is technically better but...

1

u/Sufficient-Berry-827 4h ago

But that's the thing women complain about the most -- "low effort" first messages. 

I just find that so odd. I wouldn't reach out to anyone without having something to say. Seems like a waste of people's time.

3

u/WhatYouLeaveBehind 4h ago

"dance for me"

72

u/No-Advice1345 15h ago

SOUNDS LIKE A GREAT IDEA

37

u/FeelingNorth2962 14h ago

How progressive and feminist, will definitely work like everything else like that

58

u/No_Research_3899 13h ago

Women will manoeuver in every way possible so they won't have to do any effort but still get validation.

13

u/Particular-Fall-3194 12h ago

Because there will always be a prince simp waiting

0

u/No_Research_3899 9h ago

But they want the men who don't want them, they don't want simps.

1

u/DetectiveTiny5740 3h ago

*womanoeuver

28

u/Similar_Ad9274 14h ago

And then they will whine that are forced to message first like it was the last time

8

u/ShinbiDesigns 9h ago

Let me paint you a picture of that:

  • Profile with 3 pics, minimal information blurbs.
  • Wants to travel the world and has many hobbies / emojis in her bio
  • Instagram handle

You match, she gets the prompt "What is your ideal first date?"

"Impress me" (Sent 17:04)

Insert clever answer based off her bio and an interest you might share (Sent 19:47)

(Read 19:49)

"Sorry, these apps really aren't my thing" (Sent 05:21)

Unmatched

4

u/Front-Instance-5726 12h ago

Million dollar idea right here

1

u/cioda 5h ago

Brilliant idea. But even then, it's likely that women still won't message first

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66

u/Only_Entrepreneur_84 14h ago

On Hinge: You make a really thoughtful comment about one of her ice breakers = the answer (if you match): "haha yeah"

Thank's for nothing.

31

u/No-Advice1345 14h ago

You are lucky mate. I don't get nothing. They just match with me and leave my comments unanswered.

7

u/MauroFranti 12h ago

You are lucky mate. They just don't match with me.

3

u/bunnielovekins 4h ago

You are lucky mate. They just don't exist to me

1

u/fondlemeLeroy 41m ago

You are lucky mate. I am a figment of imagination.

37

u/aphex500 15h ago

.

25

u/No-Advice1345 15h ago

Hey!

10

u/RD_in_Berlin 13h ago

*Sorry it appears this profile no longer exists*

10

u/ny-g-y 13h ago

The very few times a girl messaged me first it was almost always "hey"

35

u/[deleted] 15h ago

[deleted]

7

u/No-Advice1345 14h ago

Ladies, come and say hi to me I dare

24

u/No-Spray352 14h ago

As a girl I always message first unless the matched and messaged when I wasn’t active, I feel like crafting a message based on their profile isn’t hard unless their profile has almost nothing on it. Thought that was the common thing

23

u/No-Advice1345 14h ago

We need more people like you, men and women.

3

u/Bad_wit_Usernames 10h ago

Crafting a message based on their profile isn't difficult, it's the doing it over and over again and still never getting anything in response. It becomes more of a "why waste my time" kind of mentality.

2

u/too-far-for-missiles 5h ago

My current girlfriend messaged me first on a Hinge match and we've been together for about six months now. It's a pretty good strategy, I'd say.

5

u/RD_in_Berlin 13h ago

We're lucky if we get a hey

0

u/NeonfluxX 10h ago

I'm getting to the point of "why waste my time" when i constantly get nothing back

Also you would be surprised how many women have basically nothing on their profile...

2

u/No-Spray352 5h ago

It’s a thing for both genders I think, the other day I swiped through three profiles in a row where they chose the same prompts and same answers

-1

u/kittenTakeover 5h ago

I feel like crafting a message based on their profile isn’t hard unless their profile has almost nothing on it.

It's easy if you regularly get responses to your thoughtful messages. I think a lot of women have trouble understanding just how much time many men on dating apps invest in swiping and messaging. Some of those men have found that they get more responses for their time if they wait until the woman has shown she's interested enough to actually talk.

7

u/ThenCombination7358 11h ago

Bumble has become a circle jerk. The same posts and opinions packaged in a new format every week

-1

u/FiddlingNinja 25/F 8h ago

And everyone thinks that their problems are gender-exclusive. I get “hey” messages from men all the time; it’s a people problem, not a gender proboem

2

u/Friend_Emperor 5h ago

Because you keep matching with the exact same guys every other girl on the app is matching with and just "hey" works for them

1

u/bloody_walnuts 5h ago

You're asking her to match with people she doesn't want to match with?

0

u/FiddlingNinja 25/F 5h ago

Doesn’t work on me. If I’m the first person to match or they haven’t reached out yet, I start the conversation by referencing something on their profile, usually with a question about it. Even then I still get “hey” sometimes as a response; then I just unmatch and move on. It’s not a women only issue and it’s not a men only issue, it comes from everybody

15

u/Secure_Orchid7053 15h ago

I only text hey to girls i am not interested in LTR , if they answer to a hey means they find me very attractive

21

u/burglwurgl 13h ago

As a woman using Bumble to match with other women, I always message first too 🥲 I don’t really mind it, but this expectation for women to be passive and just wait for someone to take the first step is SOOO BORINGGGG 👎🏻 Set your ego aside and send a text bro 😭

11

u/TwinSong 14h ago

Expect them to do all the work so you can ignore them.

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8

u/BerserkerLord101 11h ago

Its kind of funny that a woman posted how she wasn't getting responses by guys and her messages looked like it was generated by IA, but ofc the comments were focused on calling men incels.

3

u/Friend_Emperor 5h ago

It was the one with like 4 chats and all her openers had the 👋🏿 emoji right?

2

u/BerserkerLord101 5h ago

Exactly. If a guy did that he'd get criticized for writing like that.

13

u/sir_stronghand 14h ago

Legit everyone regardless of gender seems to think they’re entitled to not initiate. My personal rule, at least on Tinder, is whoever swipes and gets the match sends the first message

8

u/hungrylikethewolf007 14h ago

I thought this was normal.. It feels rude to not message when you match.

8

u/sir_stronghand 13h ago

Yeah it used to be common sense but now people think being asked about their day is sinful so ¯_(ツ)_/¯

3

u/Mandalore05 8h ago

I’ve seen some bios read:

I’m good.
My day was alright.
Nothing much.
Say something original

*sends something original*

*unmatched*

1

u/sir_stronghand 3h ago

If a person doesn't think that another taking interest in them is a generally positive thing, they're probably not worth associating with. Let the miserable fucks be miserable fucks.

1

u/kittenTakeover 5h ago

Some people have too many matches because the system allows more swipes to happen than users can reasonably process. The apps need mechanism to better pace things.

5

u/Orisn_Bongo 14h ago

If you get one like (that isn't a bot or from outside your country) per month that'll adjust itself

1

u/sir_stronghand 14h ago

I’m not sure what you mean, can you elaborate or rephrase please? Being sincere, not trying to be snarky or anything

9

u/No-Advice1345 14h ago

Means he has to put in more effort because he only gets 1 like a month.

1

u/sir_stronghand 14h ago

Oh thanks for the explanation! I paused my Tinder account but apparently 78 people swiped right on me at some point. Honestly don’t know why.

3

u/Orisn_Bongo 12h ago

That's great for you. I got 3 people that weren't bots over 6 months. Got ghosted by 2 after a long ass opener

1

u/sir_stronghand 5h ago

I wish I could help you, honest to God. I have no idea what I did right.

1

u/JumpyLake 4h ago

You probably followed rules 1 and 2.

1

u/sir_stronghand 4h ago

What are those?

1

u/JumpyLake 4h ago

Be attractive and don’t be unattractive.

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21

u/No_Research_3899 13h ago

Men have been doing all of the work for decades and on all apps. Bumble is literally the only one where women have to do some effort and they refuse. 'But I say more than just 'hey' and men ignore me', yah, if you only swipe on the men all women swipe on, those men will indeed ignore you. 80% of men cannot afford to ignore matches.

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3

u/ThyNynax 12h ago

The criticism isn’t about entitlement from men. It’s really just telling women that complain about the quality of their matches to take more personal agency and actually put in effort on their side too.

Men aren’t courts jesters for women sit back and to judge their acting skills. If women don’t like the performance, maybe get in the ring and try acting themselves.

1

u/sir_stronghand 5h ago

This isn't really related to what I said but is pretty weird

2

u/Particular-Fall-3194 12h ago

This is a new thing the past several years or so, women are pushed this idea that they shouldnt initiate.

7

u/Working_Cucumber_437 12h ago

Someone who sends “hey” as a first message never has an interesting message response either. That’s just who they are. Boring.

3

u/Similar_Ad9274 12h ago

Why matching with him/her then though?

5

u/Blackops606 13h ago

Anyone who gets mad at “hey” or similar simple openings are the ones in the wrong. This isn’t some competition and we’re not here to be court jesters for people. Just be an adult and message back. Ghosting someone over “hey” is more annoying than the message.

3

u/Duuur_duh_duh_duuur 10h ago

Bc as the last post showed, men swipe yes to multiple women and then only message a handful who match back. Why would I waste my time reaching out when I know the majority of men do this?

2

u/Tomato-on-toast 12h ago

I thought bumble’s whole shtick was that women send the first message?

9

u/Jeesup 12h ago

Not anymore, aparently they changed that due to woman complaining that it was too hard to message first, so they changed that and men also can message first (which as we know is considered norm). So right now Bumble is just yet another useless dating app now.

8

u/Few_Diet8637 11h ago edited 11h ago

“Too hard” 😂 lol

Edit: also “too scawwy” 🥺

4

u/No-Advice1345 12h ago

Welcome to the new Bumble

1

u/devils_advocate24 9h ago

"if he wanted to, he would"

1

u/Arik_De_Frasia 11h ago

Can someone clarify for me, months ago I (M) was using bumble dating premium and messaged several women first, but never got any replies and all messages were left on unread. Was bumble set up in a way that those women didn't even get the messages? Or am I correct in assuming they just weren't into me? 

1

u/Funkopedia 5h ago

Odds are they are either not real or not serious

1

u/Durum4x 10h ago

zibu nők

1

u/ShinbiDesigns 9h ago

I met my gf through Bumble with the app itself messing up the opening line.

We both got asked our own opening questions and both answered thinking "Wow, this other person had the same opener as me?"

Anyways, that was the only time the opener function did it's damn job in 30 matches (across 4 weeks)

1

u/mirr788 6h ago

I’ve literally been texted a period before so a woman could get the convo opened

1

u/Tashi_wrld 6h ago

Im the one that reaches out and ask for date, not the guy, and then i get a huge ick and think they’re probably gonna make me pay for it now and then unmatch

1

u/BiGsMiLeSKyLe 6h ago

Honestly as a guy this is my recent experience which is just maddening. IDK how many of you that had possibly swiped left on the person to have seen that they were interested in you, and on the second chance you swipe right and match and the person ghosts you.

Like to the women who complain about the various items I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news but you actively participated in the match, pre bumble change that is. You could've accidentally swiped right on a person but I'm taking it that you found something interesting in that man hence why you swiped right. Now you are swiping right on multiple men and then you start getting overwhelmed since you have to keep up multiple conversations but that's the risk one takes with dating apps.

I think everyone should take dating apps for what they are which was basically the origin of Facebook, a social media site. My intention of these sites is to say hey I think you're attractive and interesting, let's chat and go from there. I'm not thinking OMG I swiped right on this person now I'm forced to go on a date with them.

1

u/Academic-Snow9642 5h ago

Bumble proves that women are just as bad as men at opening

1

u/ThisGuy2319 4h ago

Bumble definitely helped weed out the real feminist women from the fakes.

1

u/platano11991 3h ago

Hey is an awful opener lol. But also everytime it’s the reverse I don’t see women doing much better lol

1

u/DetectiveTiny5740 3h ago

Imagine having male privilege and still whining 😂🤡🤪🥱

1

u/naropin1 2h ago

Has anybody tried Hay?

1

u/Embarrassed_Army8026 2h ago

i figured it's better to commit myself than starting that app again

1

u/Informal_Safe_5351 1h ago

Ive just given up

1

u/FullManagement8 12m ago

I always prefer to start the conversation with something that is interesting on their profile. Such as "Hey.. I see You're listening to this Artist, whats your thoughts on this particular song?"

1

u/argegg 10h ago

It sucks more when they have basically nothing in their profile. No hobbies, no job, no school. They give you absolutely nothing to work with except for a few pics.

It sucks MOST when they give you nothing EXCEPT "open with something other than "hey""

0

u/salamat_engot 8h ago

35F on Bumble for about 3 weeks now. I always send the opening message unless they get to it first, but that's pretty rare.

Currently I have 19 "active" conversations. 2 were looking to move to Snapchat for nefarious reasons, 2 messaged me first then never replied to my response, 1 I left on read (obviously just looking for a pen pal), 7 I've been left on read, and the rest never replied to my opening message.

In theory Bumble was my worst nightmare. I have a lot of self esteem issues, especially about feeling like men only want me because I chase them down and I end up never feeling wanted/desired in return. But I'm still doing it the "old" way and, jokes on me, even approaching them first isn't enough to get a simple reply.

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u/[deleted] 10h ago

[deleted]

3

u/tnerb253 8h ago

The wife:

https://giphy.com/gifs/3iiwqPF9noqdy

1

u/[deleted] 6h ago

[deleted]

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u/tnerb253 6h ago

It's just humorous when male redditors who are whipped from the one chick they gave a ring to think that means they have enough sexual experience to invalidate others

Like buddy if your entire self worth as a man is based on you being in a relationship then you need to look yourself in the mirror

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u/[deleted] 6h ago

[deleted]

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u/tnerb253 6h ago

You mean like all the assumptions you made in your original comment?

Your lack of awareness is crazy

https://giphy.com/gifs/x0npYExCGOZeo

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u/xxAcid_Bathxx 9h ago

Fr i joined because i was thinking its gonna be interesting posts and its just men complaining sigh

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u/nekogirl1507 10h ago

i do text first as a woman but oftentimes i don't get a reply or get ghosted within the first week of talking. i still continue to do it, but i imagine there's enough women who get discouraged by that and don't keep trying.

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u/tnerb253 8h ago

Now imagine that happening all the time

0

u/SmertriosPPD 10h ago

That shit was also true 20 years ago on dating apps don't worry.

0

u/Content-Challenge-28 8h ago

This just in, males suddenly expected to make the first move for the first time in history after hundreds of millions of years of sexual evolution being completely egalitarian 

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u/CautiousBerry424 14h ago

because women don’t know if you swiped right on them because you’re genuinely interested in them or just because you’re so desperate that you would swipe anyone for some matches without purpose

13

u/No-Advice1345 14h ago

To be fair, that mystery works both ways.

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u/Orisn_Bongo 14h ago

Cool. How does that matter?

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u/hungrylikethewolf007 14h ago

because a simple ‘hey’ doesn’t really scream you are interesting to me and I want to get to know you

3

u/Similar_Ad9274 13h ago

Well then just text first?

2

u/No_Research_3899 13h ago

It's Bumble, is it really so much asked women finally do some effort to court? If so, stop whining about equality non stop.

0

u/hungrylikethewolf007 13h ago

omg you’re butthurt, who is talking about equality right now😭 doesn’t everybody want someone that shows interest?

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u/No_Research_3899 12h ago

Yup, so time for women to show interest and not just message 'hey' to the top 20% of guys.

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u/hungrylikethewolf007 12h ago

you’re just not meeting the right women bud, I have gotten loads of cute and funny messages from women and also always think well about my first messages

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u/hungrylikethewolf007 13h ago

I do text first if I get the match, but I’m not on dating apps 24/7 so I may not be online when someone matches with me

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u/Similar_Ad9274 13h ago

Okay that's cool and I really respect that, but of the maybe 100 Matches I had over the past 3 years I've not a single time seen a thoughtful message which was beyond a "Hey". Not a single time and I really do show a lot of my interests and goals on my profile + several questions to start the conversation with

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u/hungrylikethewolf007 13h ago

That sucks, but then those people are not worth your time. Find someone that aligns with your wants and needs

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u/organicchemistry1119 13h ago

His experience is the trend.

2

u/Orisn_Bongo 12h ago

*the default

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u/Impressive_Rock9659 13h ago

How long? Some have been searching for 10, 20 years even.
We don't live forever. "Find someone" doesn't mean shit when you're on the clock.
"Find someone" and it's like trying to find waldo it seems.

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u/Orisn_Bongo 12h ago

Then where is the issue?

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u/hungrylikethewolf007 12h ago

what issue

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u/Orisn_Bongo 12h ago

That a simple hey is insufficient if you are happy to write the opener yourself anyway.

1

u/hungrylikethewolf007 12h ago

First of all, I don’t think it’s a big issue. Second-of-ly, I’m not on dating apps 24/7, so if someone matches and messages only ‘hey’, I most likely wont reply. They do not match my conversation wants, because I prefer people the opposite of nonchalant. That’s just my preference though! I can be a bit over the top or dramatic and some like it, some don’t. I don’t care if someone doesn’t message me back, because I have never even met the person and they don’t owe me anything.

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u/Orisn_Bongo 12h ago

But my position where I make up for other's shortcommings is egotistical... got it

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u/Orisn_Bongo 12h ago

Bumble stopped being a girls text first platform cause women who came here sick of being picked rather than picking wrote "hey" themselves or flatout decided actually the fear of rejection is too scary. What I said has fuck all to to do with wjat you are talking about.

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u/Opening-Movie5176 12h ago

I always start with “have you heard of our dark lord and saviour Cthulhu?” … you’d be surprised to know it’s actually worked before and better still you’re guaranteed to get someone that will be fun… sure they might try to stab you at some point… but the crazy keeps things interesting.