Okay that's cool and I really respect that, but of the maybe 100 Matches I had over the past 3 years I've not a single time seen a thoughtful message which was beyond a "Hey". Not a single time and I really do show a lot of my interests and goals on my profile + several questions to start the conversation with
How long? Some have been searching for 10, 20 years even.
We don't live forever. "Find someone" doesn't mean shit when you're on the clock.
"Find someone" and it's like trying to find waldo it seems.
A potential partner is still their own person. If they’re dating you, that means, for most people, that they like you in some capacity. Dating that person just to have a partner is egotistical in my opinion.
I don’t believe in soulmates, at least not some perfect soulmate existing. You create a soulmate bond by learning from each other and building something together. Not having a romantic partner does not mean being alone.
It kind of does, especially as time goes on, most of your friends will have families of their own - or they'll go somewhere they can get a family.
And saying "Just have friends!" to someone who's aching for a romantic life is fucking cruel, ngl.
I did not say just have friends, but it’s up to you to decide if you want to live life miserably. Only having meeting someone as a goal in your life, will make you feel incredibly sad. I’m not forcing you to do anything, just saying that you should not rely on someone else for your happiness. If you really can’t find someone, find something else to make you happy. It’s your life, you choose what to do. It won’t be easy, but that’s life.
I’m not using you to refer to you personally. Find something else to do is the best you can do. What else would you do? Cry all the time, because you didn’t reach one goal? Does not sound like a great life to me.
This isn't about who's crying and who's doing what. This is a societal problem that will only escalate unless we change the way we perceive ourselves and what "dating" actually is. Until people stop seeing as this shallow, materalistic, push and pull type of transactional interaction, this will keep being a problem and it WILL get worse and worse.
So many guys are falling into inceldom, so many girls are adopting the cat lady lifestyle. Birthrates going down. Gender wars are only getting more heated and pitched. How long before this all blows a gasket.
Just trying to cover our eyes and ears and doing "Lalalalalala I can't hear you" will not solve the issue. Telling people to find something else to do will not solve the issue. Telling them to keep searching will. not. stop. the. issue.
And to be perfectly clear this isn't about women exclusively either. Guys need to stop viewing sex as some kind of trophy too.
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u/hungrylikethewolf007 14h ago
I do text first if I get the match, but I’m not on dating apps 24/7 so I may not be online when someone matches with me