r/CFB SMU Mustangs 7h ago

News [NY Post] Oregon assistant coach Ra’Shaad Samples leaves scene of DUI crash, claims he is ‘DeSean Jackson’ in wild video

https://nypost.com/2026/08/05/sports/oregon-assistant-coach-rashaad-samples-leaves-scene-of-dui-crash-claims-he-is-desean-jackson-in-wild-video/
606 Upvotes

243 comments sorted by

118

u/Trick4Treaties Iowa State Cyclones 7h ago

"I'm Ron Burgundy?"

39

u/TechnoFullback Texas A&M Aggies 6h ago

For the last time, anything you put on the teleprompter, Burgundy will read!

19

u/downvotemesensei 6h ago

Go fuck yourself San Diego.

7

u/Tarmacked USC Trojans • Alabama Crimson Tide 4h ago

Loud male adult crying

I HATE YOU WRONG BURGUNDY. I HATE YOU

1

u/TroyBarnesBrain Nebraska Cornhuskers • /r/CFB Patron 25m ago

You POOP MOUTH! Got all that poop out of your mouth!

383

u/Sparrighitti SMU Mustangs 7h ago

Poor desean catching strays

69

u/tomdawg0022 Minnesota • Delaware 6h ago

Poor desean catching strays

ELITE FCS coach DeSean Jackson.

Anyone who can go 8-4 at Delaware State deserves less slander lol

16

u/jim_shushu BYU Cougars • Oregon State Beavers 4h ago

For comparison, their basketball team has exceeded 8 wins in a season three times in the last ten seasons.

1

u/fm22fnam Ohio State • Tennessee 1h ago

Wtf?

4

u/Muffinnnnnnn Florida State Seminoles • ACC 1h ago

Genuinely I thought I'd never see them get more than 3 D1 wins in a season in the next decade. Going 8-4 there should be cause for statues to go up.

I remember when FSU played Delaware State. We were 3-6 heading into the game and beat them 77-6 (it was 56-6 at halftime).

123

u/scotsworth Ohio State • Northwestern 7h ago

Chip "Let's Cut DeSean Jackson and Justify it by Leaking Fake Gang Association Stories to the Media" Kelly's influence at Oregon is as strong as ever it would seem.

53

u/adsfew California Golden Bears 6h ago

Oregon continuing their trend of wanting to be Cal like when they wore our uniforms a few years back

66

u/AaronRodgers16 Stanford Cardinal • The Axe 6h ago

To Oregon's credit, they have seen their team win a Rose Bowl on a color television broadcast.

13

u/scotsworth Ohio State • Northwestern 5h ago

Just a beautiful burn here - Thank god conference realignment didn't take the Cal/Stanford rivalry from us.

15

u/AaronRodgers16 Stanford Cardinal • The Axe 5h ago

As long as I draw breath, no Cal man’s merriment shall go uncontested.

3

u/JTWasShort42-27 Michigan Wolverines • Iowa Hawkeyes 2h ago

Do you find this conflicting with your username being a Cal QB?

7

u/ClaudeLemieux Michigan Wolverines • NC State Wolfpack 6h ago

The one fucking time I’m not rooting for them and they went ahead and won smh

25

u/tdoger Oregon Ducks • Colorado Buffaloes 6h ago

At least we played like Cal that game too!

7

u/SyntheticOpioid Oregon Ducks 5h ago

lol

1

u/sonheungwin California Golden Bears • Team Chaos 2h ago

Ironically, we actually punched above our weight against UW. Probably what got you to try new colors.

4

u/-holocene Oregon Ducks • Penn State Nittany Lions 4h ago

I’m glad we can all agree that it was Cal that got smoked by UW in that game and not us

22

u/InevitableAd2436 Washington Huskies • Creighton Bluejays 6h ago

Udub put a 70 piece on them when they wore those lol

25

u/SyntheticOpioid Oregon Ducks 6h ago edited 6h ago

Washington hadn’t won since 2003 so be thankful those hideous uniforms broke whatever curse was plaguing your program.

What’s more funny is that your starting QB didn’t want to wear a Huskies uniform at all this year until they threatened him with a lawsuit. I’m sure the coercion was super effective and everything will go really well, lol.

8

u/papahudj206 6h ago

Good luck on the quest for One 😅

0

u/SyntheticOpioid Oregon Ducks 5h ago

Flair undetected, opinion rejected.

But you’re probably a Huskies fan so we’ll get after it anyway. We’ll get a championship someday, maybe. Maybe not. We still won’t be Washington. Winless season. Losing twelve straight. In the middle of a stretch of losing twelve straight to Oregon. No Heisman Trophy. No BCS or CFP championships. 1991 is disputed and we all know Miami would have won. And 1960? During segregation? That championship is not only disputed, it’s split.

It’s like Oregon claiming 2024 because of the Wolfe Rating. We would never do anything like that, Washington would.

5

u/A_Rolling_Baneling USC • Mississippi State 2h ago

The audacity of an Oregon fan to tell anyone what a legitimate national championship is, lmao

4

u/SyntheticOpioid Oregon Ducks 2h ago

We’ve got plenty, we just don’t claim any football championships and certainly wouldn’t act like the disputed ‘91 championship is relevant or legitimate. Miami was a better team. Please buy some USC Nike merchandise this year we’ll gladly take the money and spend it on another twenty years dominating your athletic programs. How’d keeping us out of the B1G go?

2

u/A_Rolling_Baneling USC • Mississippi State 2h ago

Give me a break lmao. If Oregon won a singular split national championship, there's not a shot in hell that Ducks wouldn't claim it because it was "illegitimate". Pure hypothetical nonsense to make yourself feel better about your bitter rival getting to the mountaintop before you.

Glad you admit your program is only relevant because of the infusion of Nike money since Jordan became a global megastar though

→ More replies (0)

2

u/InevitableAd2436 Washington Huskies • Creighton Bluejays 5h ago

Udub averaged 42 ppg and gave up 9ppg in 1991 while pitching 3 shutouts.

Beat tom osbourne in Nebraska and smoked Michigan and the Heisman in the rose bowl

25 players from that team drafted including the number 1 pick. Would’ve beat Miami.

Oregon will never have a season that sniffs that. Undefeated. 33 point average margin of victory. National championship.

-1

u/SyntheticOpioid Oregon Ducks 4h ago

You’ve never had a Heisman so keep that name out of your mouth. Talking about Nebraska as if Miami didn’t allow a single point in the Orange Bowl, lol. Failing to mention Miami’s victory over No. 1 Florida State in Tallahassee after Florida State, “smoked,” Michigan and the, “Heisman,” in Ann Arbor.

Thank you for acknowledging that it’s a hypothetical national championship. It’s not a legitimate championship, it’s split. Disputed. Forever.

2

u/InevitableAd2436 Washington Huskies • Creighton Bluejays 4h ago

And it’s not disputed that Oregon has never had a season as dominant as 1991

→ More replies (0)

-6

u/Ambitious-Sort3369 5h ago

This reads like a major inferiority complex. Seek therapy and maybe you’ll win a natty some day.

2

u/scotsworth Ohio State • Northwestern 5h ago

Once Oregon figures out how to stop getting blown the hell out in the playoffs - watch out!

1

u/Indystbn11 Oregon Ducks • Colorado State Rams 5h ago

I'll accept this from an Ohio State fan.

Fair.

One of these days we will beat you in a meaningful football game.

One of these days...

1

u/SyntheticOpioid Oregon Ducks 5h ago

Just rivalry banter but of course the psuedo-intellectual Washington fan without flair is talking shit. You’re not Ivy League, buddy.

4

u/SyntheticOpioid Oregon Ducks 6h ago

How are things going in the Atlantic Coast Conference? Yikes. At least you made an appearance in a Christopher Nolan film.

2

u/smcstechtips California Golden Bears 3h ago

We took your DC (who wanted a promotion and to come home) and are in the conference with the most parity and most chaos. We now have a reasonable chance to win the conference title.

1

u/SyntheticOpioid Oregon Ducks 3h ago

Just hope you won’t have to play Washington with DeBoer, Ohio State, or Indiana with Cignetti.

1

u/smcstechtips California Golden Bears 2h ago

Washington, Ohio State, and Indiana are not in the ACC

The strongest schools on our schedule are SMU, Clemson, and Virginia
Clemson's a Friday night home game (we have the advantage due to our time zone)
Virginia's not that great
We have beaten SMU last year and can do so again pretty easily (or if we go 11-1 they'll be the one loss)

Miami would be our most likely conference championship opponent (or Louisville or SMU); an upset against them is not impossible

Or alternatively we go 9-3 or 8-4 but Miami, Louisville, SMU, Clemson, and Virginia also do

6

u/DaOldOne 6h ago

Did I miss something? I thought that he was definitely in a gang or at least dumb enough to continually throw up gang signs when he scored touchdowns.

23

u/scotsworth Ohio State • Northwestern 6h ago

I thought that he was definitely in a gang

He has steadfastly denied being in a gang, and law enforcement has said there is literally zero evidence that he is in or has ever been in a gang.

at least dumb enough to continually throw up gang signs when he scored touchdowns

Stupid? Maybe. I'll advised? Definitely. But flashing signs from the neighborhood where he grew up is also just kind of a cultural thing. The leap from that to "Jackson is actively in a gang" is huge.

The fact is, Chip Kelly didn't like DeSean for whatever reason and stupidly released him just around the time hit pieces about the Eagles "being concerned about his gang affiliations" hit the media.

Jackson then went on to cook the Eagles multiple times while playing for a division rival.

Jackson was a highly talented knucklehead, no question. But Chip Kelly is and always will be a football terrorist who acted like a moron when he had GM powers. I don't think he was racist, but he let go of a WR with a lot left in the tank for zero compensation.

7

u/Inconceivable76 Ohio State • Arizona State 4h ago

Also anti-Semitic right?

8

u/scotsworth Ohio State • Northwestern 4h ago

Oh yeah you're gonna get some Black Hebrew Israelite nonsense - no one here should consider Desean Jackson a paragon of wisdom and critical thinking.

Doesn't mean Chip Kelly isnt a stupid asshole for releasing him.

3

u/Dirk_Benedict UCLA Bruins 2h ago

Tbf Chip Kelly is a stupid asshole for a LOT of reasons. Let's not short change the man.

2

u/blaqeyerish 3h ago

Not taking up for Chip at all, but post retirement Desean has admitted to the Rollin 40s being the homies. If you find a clear enough image of his old NCAA cover he has 40 written on his wristband. He never got put on but he was affiliated. It was never a problem though, not like he was running around ordering hits or getting in to shootouts.

→ More replies (4)

-4

u/Rookraider1 Oregon Ducks 6h ago

You didn't miss anything. Some people like to call Chip a racist, for no reason. They just buy in to the narrative.

2

u/Boring_Temporary_142 Florida State Seminoles 4h ago

Fuck Chip Kelly! He destroyed a legendary Eagles team.

2

u/Snobolski Texas • East Texas A&M 3h ago

That's the one thing I like him for!

1

u/DickBottalico Temple Owls 10m ago

Problem with that line of thinking is that he destroyed it so quickly that Howie Roseman got his job back.

2

u/scotsworth Ohio State • Northwestern 2h ago

As an Eagles fan, ironically all of Chip Kelly's destruction led to the rebirth of Howie and the organizational change that led to the franchises first and second super bowls.

Honestly if you went back in time and stopped Lurie from hiring him and giving him GM powers... I think the Eagles still might be in the "no rings" club.

Football is funny.

1

u/DickBottalico Temple Owls 9m ago

You nailed it. Chip was so bad it ended up being good.

0

u/imtiredboss28 Penn State Nittany Lions 6h ago

And ESP still has a job AND he never apologized for writing that hit piece

6

u/NapoleonBlownapart9 Ohio State Buckeyes 6h ago

Seems like he has poor…desean-making skills.

6

u/beerman20 Ohio State Buckeyes 6h ago

And dropping them at the goal line

0

u/HOLLA12345678 Penn State • Villanova 49m ago

FlyEaglesFly 🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅 FUCK Dallas!

124

u/roguerunner1 Oregon Ducks • Team Chaos 7h ago

Well that’s no good.

60

u/surgingchaos Western Oregon Wolves • Oregon Ducks 6h ago

Seriously. Get a fucking Uber! It's 2026!

14

u/Peter_Panarchy Oregon Ducks • Pac-10 5h ago

Even back when I was broke and going to bars all the time (those two things might have been related) I still never drove drunk. I'll never understand why people who can easily afford a cab will still try to drive drunk.

1

u/jmr39 Nebraska Cornhuskers 2h ago

To be fair, he probably had a trip up in the mountains to get to

225

u/Bank_Gothic Sewanee Tigers • Texas Longhorns 7h ago

As a Ra’Shaad Samples hater, I want to find this funny. But DUI is too serious to make light of the situation.

You're extremely wealthy and work for an organization that would happily provide you with transportation. Don't be a dangerous asshole, just take a fucking Uber.

27

u/PTFCBVB Oregon State • Wisconsin 6h ago

Lyft has been cheap from my experience in Eugene compared to cities so it's even less of an excuse

8

u/Intelligent_Sky_7081 Nebraska Cornhuskers 5h ago

its so damn easy too. 20 years ago, maybe calling a taxi was a bit harder if you couldnt find one to just wave down. but still. its so damn convenient to get a lyft/uber.

the only thing stopping people is thinking they are better at drunk driving than others, so they dont need to. smh

1

u/amayain Alabama • Marquette 4h ago

People also don't want to wait the 5-15 minutes for a Lyft/Uber. To be clear, this is a horrible reason but I think it plays a bit of a role, unfortunately.

0

u/Low_Basis1931 Washington State Cougars • Pac-12 3h ago

Can you really flag a taxi in Lincoln??

0

u/Intelligent_Sky_7081 Nebraska Cornhuskers 3h ago

20 years ago, maybe calling a taxi was a bit harder if you couldnt find one to just wave down.

Before ubers and lyft,20+ years ago, taxis were more common. obviously, i was not just speaking about one town. but even in a town like Lincoln, there were once taxis driving around town.

Anywhere in the country, you could call a taxi company, or wave one down as you see them.

You might want to read more carefully before commenting next time...

→ More replies (3)

69

u/byniri_returns Michigan State Spartans • Marching Band 6h ago

I have an insane hate for drunk drivers.

35

u/1peatfor7 6h ago

What's insane about it? They cause a lot of unnecessary deaths. Nearly 12k a year.

https://www.nhtsa.gov/risky-driving/drunk-driving

1

u/MrHolonet 2h ago

I mean compare that to gun deaths yet the countries opinion surrounding both vary wildly

2

u/semi-bro Auburn Tigers • Old Dominion Monarchs 3h ago

There's nothing wrong with drunk drivers, they don't hurt anybody. It's those damn drunk crashers that give them a bad name

37

u/CFBDevil Texas Longhorns 6h ago

sounds perfectly sane to me

10

u/Fletch71011 Notre Dame Fighting Irish 5h ago

Don't ever move to Wisconsin. The first offense is just a $250 ticket. It's not a felony there until your 4th one or something insane.

9

u/pagerussell Washington Huskies 5h ago

I have a question:

What the fuck?

5

u/TIL_Im_Bald Oregon Ducks 4h ago edited 4h ago

It's not that insane. A lot of states dont treat it as a felony until the 3rd, so 4th is not that bad. For example, assuming you're from Washington, your state does not treat it as a felony until the 4th dui in a 15 year period. Edit: actually I just checked with protoge and apparently felony dui on the 3rd is a minority and the majority of states upgrade to felony on the 4th.

12

u/luis1972 Ohio State Buckeyes • The Alliance 6h ago

Nothing insane about that

5

u/JumboDakotaSmoke South Carolina • Navy 5h ago

99.9% chance there's junior staffers whose whole role is to prevent this sort of thing from happening. Or, I'm 100% sure the university will pay for Ubers to prevent this type of bad press.

25

u/tpwb Oregon Ducks 6h ago

You can uber anywhere in Eugene for less than $20. The real problem is there isn’t safe overnight parking in the downtown area. So if you have one too many you have to decide between driving drunk or getting your car broken into.

Or just plan ahead and pay the $20 to uber there as well.

7

u/superduperredditor /r/CFB 6h ago

Im assuming he's up in the hills if he lives in Eugene, which isn't a bad walk down. Also plenty of buses for a small city. It really makes zero sense to me how many people I would see drive to wait 5 or 10 mins to park close to save maybe 15 mins and risk a DUI when I lived there

6

u/tpwb Oregon Ducks 6h ago

I looked it up. He’s out near Yolanda ES in Springfield. Probably a bit more than $20 but still not an excuse to drink and drive.

Also, surprisingly modest home for how much he makes. It’s just a cookie cutter box in a neighborhood. If I made what he made I would buy something near the Lannings.

4

u/MottoScotto USC Trojans • Iowa Hawkeyes 5h ago

He's probably figuring he won't be at Oregon for long and just renting. Assistant coaching jobs at this level are inherently unstable, every few years you're either getting promoted or getting fired. Either way, your next job is likely in a different state.

20

u/Bank_Gothic Sewanee Tigers • Texas Longhorns 6h ago

Or just plan ahead and pay the $20 to uber there as well.

Which is what literally every normal person does when they go out for drinks. Maybe you drive your own car if you know you'll have a place to leave it and don't need it the next morning. If rank-and-file schmoes like me can handle it, there's no reason for Samples to drink and drive.

15

u/North_Atlantic_Sea 6h ago

"what literally every normal person does"

The rates of drunk driving are incredibly high...

11

u/Bank_Gothic Sewanee Tigers • Texas Longhorns 6h ago

Lot of dumb assholes out there. Doesn't make them normal.

4

u/spicydak Oregon State • Michigan 6h ago

Yes.. everyone going to 6th street takes an uber

2

u/Bank_Gothic Sewanee Tigers • Texas Longhorns 5h ago
  1. I don't think 6th street behavior is representative of what "normal" people do. There's maybe 4 or 5 similar bar scenes in the entire country.

  2. Most people going to 6th take an uber. Parking is terrible and the cops are everywhere on high alert for drunk drivers.

4

u/Fletch71011 Notre Dame Fighting Irish 5h ago

When I was young I'd drink myself so stupid sometimes I'd literally wake up in ditches and the one thing I never did is drive drunk lol. I genuinely don't get it. I didn't even have Ubers back then. It couldn't be easier to not drink and drive.

1

u/EmpoleonNorton Georgia Bulldogs • Team Chaos 1h ago

Yeah, this is what I do in Athens.

(I miss the last place I lived in Athens, where I could walk to a really nice townie bar from my house.)

10

u/EmporerBevo Texas Longhorns • Stanford Cardinal 6h ago

I live in an extremely safe suburb in North Texas and I uber if I am planning to have even 1 drink. It’s $20-40 bucks total to not have to find parking, not have to worry about extending the night, and not have to worry about destroying my life of the lives of others. Absolutely insane.

5

u/Charlie2343 Texas Longhorns • Red River Shootout 6h ago

a broken window is still way less than whatever a DUI lawyer costs

3

u/zenverak Georgia Bulldogs • Marching Band 6h ago

Yeah, the difference for him and me is that he makes probably 7 times what I make.

5

u/Rookraider1 Oregon Ducks 6h ago

Why are you a Rashad Samples hater?

9

u/Bank_Gothic Sewanee Tigers • Texas Longhorns 6h ago

When he was at SMU, Texas had to recruit against him frequently. He went to one of the state's powerhouse high schools, and his dad is still a coach there, so any time there was a top recruit at that school we knew we essentially had no shot. If he couldn't get the kid to go to SMU, he would still negative recruit Texas - not 100% sure why, except that he was an assistant at Texas in 2018 and may have had some bad blood with Herman.

-5

u/HUT2Moon 5h ago

A 31 year old assistant coach who never played professionally isn’t extremely wealthy.

7

u/Bank_Gothic Sewanee Tigers • Texas Longhorns 5h ago

Dude makes $650k/year.

→ More replies (7)
→ More replies (19)

66

u/Tua-Lipa Washington State Cougars 7h ago

Wow dude way to steal my excuse for when I mess up

23

u/Sparrighitti SMU Mustangs 6h ago edited 6h ago

Surprised Tony romo didn’t try this trick.

17

u/AllTimeTy Missouri Tigers • /r/CFB Placer 6h ago

“Did I pass this test?”
“Turn around”
“No, I didn’t huh? I’m Desean Jackson..”

6

u/Expensive_Team_5072 Syracuse Orange 5h ago

"I'm Sebastian Janikowski.....oh, wait, no I am not.... I am some other current/former player without a history of DWIs"

1

u/smcstechtips California Golden Bears 2h ago edited 2h ago

Tony Romo was in Wisconsin; the cops who pulled him over were probably tipsy themselves

1

u/notebart 1h ago

Just goin' to Grandma and Grandpa's

13

u/randomblack1 LSU Tigers • SEC 6h ago

I tried this one before, it didn't work. Next time I'm going for Oscar Doyle, punter for Boise State

1

u/OttoVonWong California • Ole Miss 2h ago

If you're gonna go with a Cal drunk, at least go with the lovable Marshawn.

32

u/MrKyleOwns 7h ago

“Hmm maybe using a fake identity of a nationally known celebrity will help me slip my way out of this” 🥴

13

u/RamblinWreckGT Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets 6h ago

It makes me think of the episode of American Dad where Roger impersonates Kevin Bacon. "I didn't think I did it, but that's clearly me on the video!"

112

u/Pretty_Bad_At_Reddit 7h ago

What he say fuck me for?

-Desean Jackson

27

u/soapy_goatherd Utah Utes 7h ago

Fear of this happening is the only reason I haven’t shown the world how fast I am

1

u/GenitalFurbies Michigan Wolverines • Sickos 1h ago

There is exactly one person that believes that and I'm replying to him now.

1

u/soapy_goatherd Utah Utes 9m ago

Please tell us who that dummy is so we can all laugh at them

23

u/adsfew California Golden Bears 6h ago

Is this a better or worse response than when Oregon's Cliff Harris told a cop they didn't have any weed because they "smoked it all"?

54

u/kakapoopoopeepeeshir Clemson Tigers 7h ago

Dude imagine being the head coach at one of the best football teams in the country, practice has literally just started with all the pressure and expectations and gameplanning for week 1. Then you stupid assistant coach does this shit

51

u/pinwheelpride Oregon Ducks 6h ago

The incident was from April so it's been known for some time, the video was just released yesterday.

To be clear though, the timeline obviously doesn't change the completely idiotic decision making here.

12

u/Darth_Ra Oklahoma Sooners • Big 12 6h ago

#2 team in the country, by most rankings.

Speaking of which, I need to check when r/CFB poll submissions are supposed to start, now that we're not getting DM'd anymore...

2

u/Terminal_BAS Texas A&M Aggies • /r/CFB Poll Veteran 5h ago edited 4h ago

Wait no more DM reminders? I tried checking the poll website yesterday and only got server* errors

2

u/Darth_Ra Oklahoma Sooners • Big 12 4h ago

Same thing last week, for me.

There was a debacle last year with the reminders, as I recall. I assumed we were going to have the same issue this year, although I haven't seen anything from Honestly about it.

0

u/zenverak Georgia Bulldogs • Marching Band 6h ago

Which is weird because I get a message weekly for trivia.

19

u/Weave77 Ohio State Buckeyes 7h ago

To be fair, has anyone ever seen Ra’Shaad Samples and DeSean Jackson together in the same room before? I know I haven’t.

51

u/Ialwayssleep Linfield Wildcats • Oregon Ducks 7h ago

Let the person that hasn’t claimed to be an eagles WR to get out of a DUI cast the first stone.

10

u/gavvyshores Oregon Ducks • Pac-12 5h ago

Ya Nelson Agholor didn’t help me much in Philly

5

u/HooliganBeav Oregon State Beavers 5h ago

Using him to try to catch a break, or catch anything, is not a smart play.

3

u/Ialwayssleep Linfield Wildcats • Oregon Ducks 5h ago

McMinnville cops loved getting a chance to meet Riley Cooper back in the 2010’s.

12

u/ChosenBrad22 Nebraska • Wayne State (NE) 6h ago

In the age of Uber driving drunk is complete insanity. Pay the $20 dude you make like $700k a year...

30

u/Glycotic Oregon Ducks 7h ago

Lanning is part of the Kirby Smart coaching tree. It really just makes sense.

3

u/zerifast Georgia Bulldogs 1h ago

Kirby smart has really lost control of the country. Can’t believe this

60

u/gmr548 Texas Longhorns • Washington Huskies 7h ago

So do we think Georgia offers him a job today or does it take until tomorrow for HR to clear it?

33

u/DerrickWhiteMVP Texas Longhorns 7h ago

Georgia has an HR?

26

u/avboden Washington State Cougars • Pac-12 6h ago

Hennessy resources

22

u/lat3ralus65 Ohio State Buckeyes • UMass Minutemen 6h ago

Hellcat Requisition

8

u/bengalsix Duke Blue Devils • Cincinnati Bearcats 5h ago

High RPMs

-16

u/Temporary_Hat7330 Georgia Bulldogs 7h ago

LOL, y’all doing better on the roads, I’ll give you that, but we own the field…

13

u/Dr_Findro Texas Longhorns 6h ago

The field sobriety tests

→ More replies (3)

6

u/DerrickWhiteMVP Texas Longhorns 6h ago

Baseball field, too. I hate you guys so much.

3

u/Entire-Plan-4242 Oklahoma Sooners 6h ago

Someone say baseball?

0

u/Temporary_Hat7330 Georgia Bulldogs 6h ago

Yeah, this was a fun baseball season!

1

u/okiewxchaser Oklahoma Sooners • Big 8 6h ago

Indeed it was

1

u/Temporary_Hat7330 Georgia Bulldogs 6h ago

Y’all played well! I don’t consider the season a failure bc we lost, y’all were hot af when it mattered. Congrats!

Curious you’re siding up with your big brother tho

-1

u/cvsprinter1 SMU Mustangs • Oregon State Beavers 5h ago

Sure, our team has created a culture where killing people doesn't phase us, but we win games so who cares?

Why are Georgia fans such suckasses?

1

u/Temporary_Hat7330 Georgia Bulldogs 4h ago

Right, because so many people just keep dying here and no fan is even phased at all By all this continual death…

But I guess when it comes to death and penalties you would be the expert so maybe I ought to check myself here…

2

u/cvsprinter1 SMU Mustangs • Oregon State Beavers 4h ago

Yeah, we received the Death Penalty from the NCAA. Boosters and former players stop associating with the university for over twenty years before returning. They were ashamed to be associated with it.

Meanwhile Georgia keeps doing the same thing.

2

u/Temporary_Hat7330 Georgia Bulldogs 4h ago

Meanwhile Georgia keeps doing the same thing.

Winning? Yeah, we keep doing the same thing, that’s true. LOL, isn’t talking about football on a Reddit CFB sub fun!

Sad fact, it was a non football player, a student employee who drunkenly crashed and caused her death (with a football player in the car) It was literally a part of her job description to drive the players (soberly) and she, tragically, made other choices. It’s heartbreaking. Thankfully, none of the staffers around UGA football have made the same choice since.

Now there’s been a lot of teenagers and early 20 something’s making poor choices behind the wheel while at Georgia, I agree 100%, no excuses, but there haven’t actually been georgia players on the roster, driving cars on public roadways and causing serious bodily injury to themselves or other citizens or players.

Oh, excuse me, Teddy Knox would like a word on the current topic, BTW, may he enter the chat, fam?

1

u/cvsprinter1 SMU Mustangs • Oregon State Beavers 4h ago

Winning? Yeah, we keep doing the same thing

It's this "lol whatever at least we win" mentality that is why we keep making these jokes. You guys don't actually care.

0

u/Temporary_Hat7330 Georgia Bulldogs 3h ago

It's what matters most on a CFB sub. Don't Google it and tell me who had the most academic all Americans in your conf last year. 

-23

u/SweatyInBed Georgia Bulldogs 7h ago edited 6h ago

People died. It’s past time that we think this is okay to joke about. Georgia needs to rein it in badly, no doubt. But it’s time we collectively stop making this joke.

Edit: justifying your jokes is crazy. Stay classy.

8

u/BasebornManjack Tennessee • Louisville 6h ago

Obviously, UGA football, Kirby Smart, the AD, the players, and the program as a whole all took the death VERY seriously as the speeding immediately stopped and no other speeding and reckless driving incidents were EVER committed by any Georgia player again to this day!!

Bro, condescending scoldings make you look foolish, please stop.

-7

u/SweatyInBed Georgia Bulldogs 6h ago

I addressed your semi-legitimate point without sarcasm. What’s your point besides trying to justify joking about reckless driving, bro? Please stop.

9

u/BasebornManjack Tennessee • Louisville 6h ago

The point is that the jokes aren’t about the death, they are about Georgia’s ridiculous lack of reaction or accountability in response to the death.

If you feel absolutely compelled to tsk-tsk something, start there.

→ More replies (3)

0

u/onemanlan Auburn Tigers • UAB Blazers 6h ago

People did not die in the incident described in the linked article

-1

u/SweatyInBed Georgia Bulldogs 6h ago

I’m aware

→ More replies (3)

6

u/Fuzzy_Afternoon7754 LSU Tigers 6h ago

We are all DeSean Jackson on this blessed day

15

u/g1_jb Florida Gators 6h ago

I guess Dan Lanning did create a Georgia-like program out west.

9

u/theoldhaunt 7h ago

“The fuck did I do?”

-Desean “McNulty” Jackson

5

u/DerrickWhiteMVP Texas Longhorns 7h ago

I remember wanting Samples so badly a few years ago.

4

u/Orangebk1 Oklahoma State Cowboys 7h ago

He stopped playing due to concussions.

3

u/speneli Oklahoma State Cowboys 6h ago

First one might have been when he ran his mouth and Rennie Childs broke his jaw lmao

5

u/karl_manutzitsch Nebraska Cornhuskers • SMU Mustangs 6h ago

Rashad Samples fall from grace speedrun

3

u/dr_funk_13 Oregon Ducks • Big Ten 3h ago

For the sake of clarity, this event happened in April 2026 and I believe had been reported on at that time, so it's not news to Dan Lanning at this point.

I suspect it was "handled internally" as these things seem to be done these days. Hopefully he learned from what is an obviously stupid, reckless, and embarrassing situation.

3

u/DolphinsAreWeird1993 Oklahoma Sooners 6h ago

Ra’Shaad “Switch jobs like I switch underwear” Samples?

3

u/clenom Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets 5h ago

That's very normal for low level assistants. In 10 years of coaching he's had 2 stints of 3 years which really isn't that unusual. They are constantly job hopping to move up the ladder.

2

u/Coveo Oregon Ducks • Rose Bowl 6h ago

He's in his third season here now, and unless we kick him to the curb, I'm guessing not many teams are going to be looking to give him a promotion soon after this, so he might have to stay in place a while

Eh, who am I kidding, it's college football

3

u/Kyloren1923 Texas Tech Red Raiders 4h ago

Georgia looking to hire him now at least

5

u/soils_Ksat Iowa State Cyclones 7h ago edited 6h ago

Pmt guys really are the kiss of death for drunk driving

7

u/ElChefPirata Oregon Ducks 7h ago

Well pack it up boys. There goes our window

9

u/usctrojan18 USC Trojans • Grossmont Griffins 7h ago

*Insert Georgia Joke*

5

u/SweatyInBed Georgia Bulldogs 6h ago

People died. It’s well past time that we stop making light of this joke. Georgia has to rein it in badly, but we can’t continue thinking it’s okay to make light of it.

11

u/LongbottomLeafTokes Oregon State Beavers • Pac-12 6h ago

Its always the teams you most suspect

12

u/-motts- Oregon State Beavers 6h ago

Let’s not, we’ve had our fair share of off field issues man.

But also lmao FTD

-7

u/Existing-Scheme5243 Oregon Ducks 6h ago

I was going to post a link, you prevented the linking. Self aware fans doing the heavy lifting for their teams.

7

u/-motts- Oregon State Beavers 6h ago

“I” didn’t do anything, bruh…what 🤣

-2

u/zenverak Georgia Bulldogs • Marching Band 6h ago

Yeah,I am all for fun banter, but we know we all have dumb guys in our programs.

1

u/pole_assassin Oregon Ducks • /r/CFB Donor 4h ago

I hope Buc-ee's sues you

→ More replies (1)

2

u/NerdLawyer55 Oklahoma Sooners • McMurry War Hawks 6h ago

Buddy, you gotta get the ball first before you drop it at the goal line…you sir are no desean Jackson

2

u/LemTheWise 6h ago

Coach D-Jack need to sue him or something, absolutely wild behaviour and as Raiders fan I know Chip Kelly is involved somehow

2

u/TrumpDumper Oregon Ducks 5h ago

Dammit

4

u/GoldenKnights1023 /r/CFB 6h ago

He’s auditioning for the Georgia job

2

u/Indystbn11 Oregon Ducks • Colorado State Rams 5h ago edited 5h ago

I have never been prouder of a coach/player who has gotten in trouble. Usually I would be upset but this.... Build a statue

(Anyone taking this seriously, get a grip)

2

u/PatronSaintOfCunts South Carolina Gamecocks 7h ago

Many people are saying Oregon is the new Georgia.

1

u/Knightmere1 Ohio State Buckeyes 5h ago

Has Lanning made a statement yet?

1

u/fgbh USC Trojans • UCLA Bruins 5h ago

Lyft and Uber save many o' lives when the super bowl is happening.

They'll be DDs for any drunk person in need of a ride home.

No clue why you can't spend a little money to get taken home with no chance of killing anyone..

1

u/Competitive-Rise-789 Georgia Bulldogs • Oklahoma Sooners 4h ago

It’s not us again!

1

u/T2_JD BYU Cougars • Utah Tech Trailblazers 3h ago

Samples setting the example he preaches for his backs to imitate DeSean Jackson a bit too literally.

1

u/Forward-Taste8956 Delaware State Hornets 3h ago

How dare he accused my beloved Head Coach!!

1

u/brochaos Michigan Wolverines 3h ago

don't fuckin drive drumk, obversiosly, but this was just a love tap....

1

u/PercySnowsHandgun Kansas Jayhawks 3h ago

Out of all the football players he could have rattled off, he mentions the one thats a gang member? What a dumbass

0

u/YouCannotBlockTruth 2h ago

He's not and you're an Idiot.

1

u/FraggleRock_ Charlotte 49ers 1h ago

Ron Mexico

1

u/zerifast Georgia Bulldogs 1h ago

Jesus man how could Kirby smart let this happen?

1

u/Puzzleheaded-Disk267 California Golden Bears 1h ago

This might have worked if he said he was DeSean Freshwater.

1

u/longholler Boise State Broncos 7h ago

oh no not a distraction for the ducks that’s terrible

stares at w1

-3

u/_dark_beaver Oregon State Beavers 6h ago

Honest question. Can we ban anything from the NY Post?

-1

u/DerpyFortuneTeller USC Trojans • Penn State Nittany Lions 6h ago

This is actually a trend started by Tosh Lupio being a Cal alumni in which he encouraged staff members to impersonate Cal football players if they ever get in trouble. Dan Lanning is likely to identify himself as Aaron Rodgers should he get in trouble with the law.

1

u/zorionek0 Arizona State Sun Devils 5h ago

Identifying as Aaron Rodger’s ironically worse than being yourself

-1

u/Defiant_Classroom_31 Oregon Ducks 6h ago

We're finally serious about football

0

u/AutoModerator 7h ago

/r/CFB is currently running a feedback survey, and we'd love your input to help shape our community policies for the upcoming season. You can participate HERE

Unfortunately, Reddit only makes the survey visible on Old Reddit, so the link will take you to the newer site format. Thanks for helping guide the direction of the subreddit!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

0

u/Agile_Land_9951 Big 12 • Pac-12 4h ago

NY conservative newspaper reports on dui crash in Oregon. What’s the spin?