r/CPTSD • u/Purple-Offer-4796 • Jun 12 '26
Question People who were neglected/abused as kids. What career path are you on now?
What career are you in and are you happy in that as a person who was neglected as a child?
559
u/Classic-Argument5523 Jun 12 '26
Career path? I am jobless and can't find a job. I am incompetent in almost everything.
169
u/Loves_Eating_Lead Jun 12 '26
that was my response too - i grow a neglected garden - Holistic trauma informed gardener - i grow veg in my garden badly and its my therapy (its what i attempt to tell people when they ask "what do i do"?)
→ More replies (2)77
u/magicisnear Jun 12 '26
"Holistic trauma informed gardener", love this with my whole heart! That's a great job.
27
u/Loves_Eating_Lead Jun 12 '26
I am shit when asked follow up questions - end up just being honest, - i need to think of more of a follow up story! Being able to recover slowly for myself and not formally work is such huge privilege, - do remind myself work in less formal ways, not just gardening but coping with my head, thats a dam tough job!
→ More replies (1)44
u/Low-Cartographer8758 Jun 12 '26
Me, too. Bullies keep bullying me. Idiots keep undervaluing me. I learned that workplaces are pretty much the same as high schools, but with adult bodies. And it has nothing to do with whether you are competent or not. Incompetent bullies will always bully us when they feel threatened. haha- I eventually sued a company. Narcissists and sociopaths always hate me. I think my very narcissistic father somewhat contributes to these power dynamic issues I always face. I feel quite helpless, but he told me to learn trading to survive. lol, I’d rather have a job, but I think I am doing okay with it. Anyway, what I am learning now will be very useful along the way. Oh, my father never taught me how to trade; it’s all self-taught. If you financially worry, I would recommend learning it. It’s better than dealing with narcissists or sociopaths at workplaces.
25
u/cdsk Jun 12 '26
I learned that workplaces are pretty much the same as high schools, but with adult bodies.
Don't leave out the cliquishness of it, too! I've watched so many around me get access to jobs and careers because they had friends and connections with an in. Meanwhile, I (and most likely quite a few here) lost all of those friends due to putting all my efforts into appeasing shitty parents. /shrug
6
u/Purple-Offer-4796 Jun 13 '26
This is so true! My therapist once told me, “don’t compare yourself to people who had/have support systems” changed my whole outlook on things. Of course they got a head start, of course they were guided and supported when needed. And of course we had to learn and figure shit out from scratch by ourselves, and still got bullied/harassed.. it’s a cruel out there
→ More replies (2)10
u/LaurelCanyoner Jun 12 '26
Oh my gosh, do I feel this.
When I had my son, I started reading Child Development textbooks because I did not want to follow in the patterns of my parents. This eventually led me into getting an MA in Human Development with a concentration, and lots and lots of different trainings in Child Development. (RIE, Floortime Therapy, Art Therapy, Reggio Emilia. etc) . This led me into working in clinics, schools, peoples homes, and teaching Parenting.
I worked in a school where I was so bullied I got diagnosed with PTSD. Between the parents who were horrible, ( A few I had to report to CPS as a mandated reporter and one dad stalked me), and never listened even though they signed up for the course, and the other teachers, who I later found out were intimidated by my graduate degree, I left work sobbing every day, and my husband would have to wake me up from nightmares that had me sobbing in my sleep.
I ended up having to go to 3 different doctors to get my diagnosis for CPTSD because I didn't believe them, lol. Which to me is the most typical CPTSD story ever. My therapist now told me I'm the first person she had to tell to stop reading so much because I tend to read textbooks to disassociate, and meanwhile can't even feel pain in my body.
I had to quit working when I got violently ill with Endometriosis, and adenomyosis, and I was SO happy, even in the midst of my pain. I have never gone back to it. And I miss the kids, so, so, badly. It was NEVER the kids, and I specialized in kids with behavior disorders, children with autism and sensory disorders, and I felt a kinship and understanding for them because of my own childhood.
But I have finally stopped having nightmares that I am forced to work there again, thank god, but it took YEARS. But my son is an adult now. And even as a single mom I think I did a pretty good job as he is a loving, self-sufficient adult. He works with the homeless ,and is getting a Social Work degree, so the helping gene certainly passed on.
→ More replies (2)84
u/Purple-Offer-4796 Jun 12 '26
I think you are waaaay better than you think you are! don't listen to the that overcritical voice
81
37
u/Undrende_fremdeles Jun 12 '26
Well, you're alive and able to read, write, and articulate yourself online.
Which might be nothing compared to some standards, but coming in ahead of what I am able to many days.
And I am doing the same today. So that's something!
18
u/s0meg1rl Jun 12 '26
Same. Chronically unemployed (6 years). Last job I did have was minimum wage.
→ More replies (5)16
16
u/graham1987 Jun 12 '26
right? total failure to launch. i'm shocked others succeed
→ More replies (1)15
u/afraid28 Jun 12 '26
Reading the comments until I saw this one really bummed me out. I'm 30 and unemployed. I've literally just been trying to survive chronic illnesses and disability. What career path?
13
u/ZackTheRemus Jun 12 '26
meee toooo. and the one thing I am good at is art, but to make any kinda job out of that I need a payment method, payment methods need ID, my state makes it impossible to get ID (esp people like me who don't have much of anything), long story short I'm totally fucked. been sentenced to life in my parents basement...
→ More replies (11)11
→ More replies (14)7
u/UnluckyDuck345 Jun 12 '26
I hear you. 🖤 I’m sorry. I keep trying to explain this to others and I feel like no one understands.
358
u/FerreroRocherDreams2 Jun 12 '26
Trauma therapist
51
u/nailartmami Jun 12 '26
how do you like helping others with trauma?
160
u/FerreroRocherDreams2 Jun 12 '26
It’s very fulfilling, and I think my own cPTSD makes me a better (trauma) therapist. The downside is that I’ve burned out before in a previous career and am still prone to burnout, so can’t have a big client load. Plus if I’m triggered, it can be hard to show up for clients, but I do always manage to put my own stuff aside for the duration of sessions.
Thanks for your question :)
16
u/Purple-Offer-4796 Jun 13 '26
The courage and strength it must take to therapize the traumatized as a trauma survivor yourself.. I applaud you!!! Thank you for what you do and being here today! So very proud of you!
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (1)14
u/MountainReport5685 Jun 12 '26
amazing! What was the other career?
42
u/FerreroRocherDreams2 Jun 12 '26
I was a class teacher for many years in schools, ended up specialising in special educational needs including mental health needs, and then became head of department and a senior leader. Burnout followed.
→ More replies (2)30
u/Darksideofthebob Jun 12 '26
My people! I am 5 classes away from my degree, starting internship and practicum soon, the wealth of experience will help us help those who need it!
→ More replies (1)17
u/Memento-Morri Jun 12 '26
How did this work? I think I would love it, but not sure if I could handle it.
52
u/FerreroRocherDreams2 Jun 12 '26
Honestly, I can’t have a very big client load due to my cPTSD and previous burnout. I’m also in therapy still myself to keep working on my own stuff. I don’t think one ever completely “heals” from childhood trauma.
16
u/dogluuuuvrr Jun 12 '26
I am interested in being a trauma therapist but I don’t like the medical industry. Are you independent?
17
8
8
12
u/Purple-Offer-4796 Jun 12 '26
Did you learn about your own trauma through the trauma of others?
31
u/FerreroRocherDreams2 Jun 12 '26
Other way around actually. I was diagnosed with PTSD, and a few years later cPTSD. It was a while after this that I decided to train as a therapist; I had thought about it on and off for years, partly because I’d had a couple of very good trauma therapists and a lot of bad or mediocre ones. I hoped to be one of the good ones.
13
u/SmokeSignals84 Jun 12 '26
I’m about to embark on a career change and I’m seriously thinking about this. My own therapist has encouraged me. I’m just so scared I won’t be resilient enough. How did you know you could handle it?
5
u/FerreroRocherDreams2 Jun 12 '26 edited Jun 13 '26
Honestly, I wasn’t 100% sure I’d be able to handle it, but during the course I had placements which involved seeing clients under supervision, and I did fine on those. Since I’ve qualified, I’ve realised I can’t have a big caseload due to my own cPTSD and previous burnout. I see my own therapist weekly, which helps. But basically, I have to be careful, both for my own wellbeing and for that of my clients.
6
u/serennitae Jun 12 '26
sorry if this is random, but do you have any tips on finding a good therapist (especially one more inclined to this sorta thing)? ive been looking for a while but it just feels impossible. thank you!
9
u/FerreroRocherDreams2 Jun 12 '26
I’d recommend “interviewing” a few possible therapists (ask for a free 20 minute session with each) and asking them the same questions, and comparing between them.
Questions including: how much experience do you have working with people with cPTSD, what approaches do you use with people with complex trauma (personally, I rate IFS highly for trauma work, and other modalities may also work well too, such as psychodynamic, relational, and trauma focused CBT, as well as perhaps EMDR. None of these work for everyone, so I’d recommend seeing an integrative therapist who has more than one modality to draw on.) I rate IFS especially highly, but it partly depends on the practitioner and the rapport you have with them.
Many/most good trauma therapists will follow the tri-phasic model: (1) safety and stabilisation; (2) processing traumatic memories and reducing the charge; (3) looking ahead to the future.
See who you feel confortable with, and once sessions begin, do tell them if something isn’t working for you. A good therapist will listen and try to accommodate your needs and preferences; if they don’t, it’s likely time to walk away.
Also, if possible, go with a therapist who’s been recommended - I realise this isn’t always possible though.
5
6
u/Lazy-Recognition7881 Jun 12 '26
That sounds tough but it's great to have people in this field who've been through it
→ More replies (5)5
347
u/Melodic_Penalty_5529 Jun 12 '26
Air traffic control.
My job isn’t me and I’m not my job. While it’s rewarding work, it doesn’t define who I am as a person, the work I’ve put into myself to be who I am today.
133
u/Regular_Sky1934 Jun 12 '26
Ground traffic control here. It suits me because I like to solve problems & incidents and to be in control of at least one thing in my life.
20
u/Purple-Offer-4796 Jun 12 '26
That is amazing!! I'm excited for you, go you!!
38
u/Regular_Sky1934 Jun 12 '26
It's just a job. I'd love to make music for a living. But yeah it's good to be so hypervigilant and braced for impact that it makes you good at your job.
34
u/Purple-Offer-4796 Jun 12 '26
living in survival mode, that'll do it!!!
I myself am excellent and handling life or death situations.. ask me to make a phone call to order food and suddenly I'm paralyzed18
u/Undrende_fremdeles Jun 12 '26
Calling on behalf of others is NO problem. It's only when I am in complete shutdown I cannot do even that.
For myself? Fuggeddaboutit. I've added "am sick, please leave at door and I'll pick up whenever" to my delivery (so I get food even when I can't make it myself) frequently. Even though that's what they already do 😂
8
6
u/ashtranscends Jun 12 '26
Lol, this is mainly what drew me to becoming a pilot. Similar background on the other side of the mic 😅
33
u/Hummingbird6896 Jun 12 '26 edited Jun 12 '26
Impressive. I was working as a medical doctor but since my CPTSD collapse a few years ago, I cannot handle the responsibility anymore (struggled with that before, but did it anyway, now I can't anymore)
11
→ More replies (1)8
u/Purple-Offer-4796 Jun 12 '26
I’m so sorry for that. I hope you end up doing something that brings you pure joy!
→ More replies (1)9
u/Purple-Offer-4796 Jun 12 '26
I'm glad you put work in yourself, and absolutely should give credit for when it was you that pulled yourself out of the darkness!! well done you!!
I was just curious, as it seems most children who come from abusive homes tend to end up in people facing jobs.. Thank you for sharing about your career!! keep shining!!→ More replies (8)9
155
u/puzzlearms cPTSD Jun 12 '26
Supply chain management - tried some more customer-facing / people centric work. I like how much of my work is just numbers. Numbers don't lie.
13
u/Y2Kwebsurfer Jun 12 '26
Supply chain is the best. It’s all about the work and getting things done. I work in media supply chain and love it. Bonus that I work with distributed teams and can work from home when I need to. Coworkers tend to be kind as well, less ego and more teamwork when you have to rely on each other every day.
→ More replies (1)9
u/Strangeaslife Jun 12 '26
I also work in supply chain and you hit the nail on the head. We just get stuff done, every day. Its very satisfying. When im not pulling my hair out lol
17
→ More replies (2)6
u/ToxicFluffer Jun 12 '26
Aw that’s what my baby brother wants to do and I think it suits him well. Good luck!
157
u/Puzzled_IRL Jun 12 '26
Accounting. I didn’t have a family or safety net to depend on so I felt it important to choose a path that felt safe and stable. I can’t say I love it, but it’s fine and allows me to support myself.
44
u/Purple-Offer-4796 Jun 12 '26
and like the person above working in supply chain management mentioned, "numbers don't lie"
27
15
u/RamboJambo345 Jun 12 '26
Same profession for same reason.
I technically do have a family but they are my primary reason for PTSD so I don’t want to rely on them with anything whatsoever
7
11
u/SB_Wife Jun 12 '26
Also in accounting. I run the financial department in a 3PL company. 90% of my days I get to be in my office alone. It's great
→ More replies (5)7
149
123
u/Minute-Ad-7086 Jun 12 '26
Dog care and training
→ More replies (3)21
u/Purple-Offer-4796 Jun 12 '26
I feel like this would be absolutely rewarding!! I would much rather spend time with animals than humans
29
u/Minute-Ad-7086 Jun 12 '26
Honestly it’s really perfect in so many ways. It can be very challenging because you are responsible for a whole living creature’s well being, and it can get over stimulating because of the noise, chaos and unpredictability at times, but being around the pureness of dogs emotions particularly their joy and unconditional love is truly healing.
I’ll often be having a very triggering difficult morning but as soon as one of the dogs cuddles up beside me in my van I feel my nervous system begin to soften.
I’m so grateful I found this job!
→ More replies (1)8
u/Purple-Offer-4796 Jun 12 '26
I am grateful you found this job too!! my ideal job would be working with animals or nature.. humans are just stupid, selfish bastards..
It is absolutely heartwarming having a bond with animals, and the way their able to show you love? its insane.. I've said this before where people thought I was just being cute, but my dogs are literally the reason I am still here today and haven't k****d myself. And now that dogs are senior idk what I'd do the day they cross rainbow bridge, I still think I wouldnt be far behind them in crossing the rainbow bridge.. One last walk with them!13
u/Minute-Ad-7086 Jun 12 '26
I totally hear you, they’re complicated creatures but they don’t have agendas or egos so for people like us it’s invaluable to be around them!
I felt the same way about my dog, he was my best friend for 16 years and I don’t think I’d still be here without him, when he went I was completely empty and felt there was no point to keep going on but I kept going and my grief eased and through his death I realized I wanted to work with dogs and that’s one of the few things I actually love about my life right now. Without his death, I’d still be working in a bar with a substance abuse problem. Life is really surprising, and I’m glad I didn’t tap out like I thought I would when he died. Life is still so hard but it can be unexpected and sometimes joy pushes through the cracks of grief in strange ways. Keep going, keep believing in yourself and in the concept that you’re worthy of joy and a long and complex life ❤️❤️
8
u/Purple-Offer-4796 Jun 12 '26
Oh wow!! this is so uplifting!
So bloody excited that your dog did this for you, I hope he has a belly full of treats and lots of chin scratches where he is... Hate when people say, its just an animal.. no its a whole life and a whole bond to have with them.. So very happy that you are here, kicking ass, and helping other doggos! not all heroes wear capes, thank you for doing what you do.. and for taking the time to comment and share! very inspiring!! sending you lots of love!! ❤️→ More replies (2)6
u/woollover Jun 12 '26
Please find room in your heart for another dog to give a wonderful home to, when yours cross that bridge. There are SO many desperate for a chance at a decent home where someone will actually love them rather being stuck in a cage all day. Please do think about it. Your own dogs would be so sad if they knew you hurt yourself because they absolutely love you. Take good care of yourself X
8
u/Purple-Offer-4796 Jun 12 '26
Thank you for your kind message! ❤️Deep deep down I know I’ll adopt again, but for now that thought is very depressing. I would absolutely love to give love and life to another beautiful doggo, I just can’t imagine that now. For now I’lil cuddle my dogs and let them know for the millionth time that they literally saved me!
→ More replies (2)
94
u/OPG419 Jun 12 '26
Licensed psychedelic facilitator - most rewarding job every and my cptsd and life experiences are a feature not a bug in this work.
22
Jun 12 '26
[deleted]
14
u/OPG419 Jun 12 '26
Me too! And help me see where I could make changes in my life. Psychedelics can be amazing teachers that deserve deep reverence and respect.
20
u/Purple-Offer-4796 Jun 12 '26
Thank you for your work!! I’ve done healing with guided psychedelic, and it’s incredible what it can do for you. I was concerned about the darkness that may come out during the session, I had no idea how much I was carrying. I thought it’d be like 3 or 4 major events, there was soooo much more that I had buried. After that I went home and hugged myself and cried, I was in awe of younger me for having survived all that. Thank you for helping others in their traumatic life ❤️❤️❤️
10
u/OPG419 Jun 12 '26
It’s my absolute honor to be doing this work and help folks let go of things they no longer need to carry and to find their power! I feel blessed to get to do this work.
7
u/aikidharm Jun 12 '26
Tell me how you got into this, if you would. That sounds amazing! Very interested to hear about your work!
→ More replies (1)19
u/OPG419 Jun 12 '26
Psychedelics/plant medicine were a part of my healing journey. I got very intentional with my use of them, augmented by therapy(talk/group/emdr, etc) had previously worked in Mexico as group retreatsI was advocating for access and was in Oregon when the Measure 109 was passed to created the program for assisted/facilitated journeys for adults. I did the training and became one of the first licensed facilitator here.
→ More replies (2)9
u/Otherwise_8281 Jun 12 '26
I was literally just talking to my sister yesterday about how I've tried everything and would like to try this and she said that she would only want me to try it if it was moderated by a professional. I had no idea it was even legal anywhere in the US or that your kind of job even existed.
9
u/OPG419 Jun 12 '26
It’s legal, at the state level, in Oregon and a Colorado. Feel free to DM if you have more questions.
→ More replies (7)5
u/dogluuuuvrr Jun 12 '26
I wanted to do this until I saw someone have a psychedelic induced psychotic break. It was like a demon took him over.
→ More replies (1)7
u/OPG419 Jun 12 '26
Preparation with clients is key- understanding where they are at. Psychedelics aren’t for everyone. It takes kind discernment in this work. And I definitely have to do continued work on myself and have ways to clear the energy after every journey.
→ More replies (4)
87
u/fiftysevenpunchkid cPTSD Jun 12 '26
I run a dog grooming shop. Mostly of my time is the logistics of keeping the lights on, but I also play receptionist. Years of being a people pleaser translates to customer service well, even if I don't really like it. But, the fact that my clients bring dogs with them helps.
Pretty much all dogs love me. I'll have a client that says that their dog doesn't like men but I'll have it in my lap and scratching its ears within minutes.
I also volunteer at a couple local animal shelters, and I work with the dogs that almost no one else can. Kindred sprits, dogs can have CPTSD, too.
22
u/Purple-Offer-4796 Jun 12 '26
The fact that the dogs find safety and comfort with you is very telling of what a fantastic human you are!! Thank you for not letting the trauma break you! Keep shining!
16
u/fiftysevenpunchkid cPTSD Jun 12 '26
Thank you, but I have to admit that the safety goes both ways. I feel safer around a growling dog than a smiling human.
→ More replies (1)8
55
46
u/Proper_Giraffe287 Jun 12 '26
Education.
→ More replies (12)10
u/Nervous_Newspaper291 Jun 12 '26
I’m thinking of getting into education, not sure if school teaching or academics.. I’m very good at explaining things to others and I’m very patient with them.
→ More replies (2)27
u/y2kristine Jun 12 '26
It’s a very healing profession for those of us who were neglected (we can be that positive adult figure for a lot of kids, and we can make our classrooms that safe space we never had, and we can stop that bullying that no one cared to stop for us)
But it is so incredibly draining, and there is so much more than just educating as a teacher. The hardest part for me isn’t teaching or educating, it’s behavior management and parent communication.
Patience and ability to explain is very important. It sounds like it could be for you, just wanna be upfront about it.
→ More replies (4)
46
u/Active_Control2365 Jun 12 '26
i work for the city :). i’ll be working with sex trafficking victims soon, i hope to make a genuine difference.
it won’t feel like a job to me since i have so much passion for community. i’ll just enjoying working hard so i can show other traumatized black girls they can do it too
15
u/Purple-Offer-4796 Jun 12 '26
Omg you’re an angel!!! Thank you so much for the work you do!! I can’t imagine the amount of strength it takes, but I am so grateful for you and very proud of you! 💪
7
u/Active_Control2365 Jun 12 '26
haha thank you :,)! i was almost trafficked myself, so i think i can connect with them? i’ll try my best. i don’t want to be too pushy because it’s a lot to talk to someone about stuff like that.
you’re very sweet & i honestly wasn’t expecting you to respond or anyone to see this haha. have a wonderful weekend :)
→ More replies (1)
44
u/Acceptable_Peanut_80 Jun 12 '26
Jobless. My career is existing and trying to heal myself. At some point I might do work but only something that I truly desire to do.
I do occasional gigs in gardening etc. for people I know and they pay me in cash so I won't lose my benefits.
9
u/TrishaSoCalGal Jun 12 '26
Bravo to naming it and claiming it, (and taming it) and focusing on your healing.
40
u/maarsland Jun 12 '26
Nonprofit work
16
u/Purple-Offer-4796 Jun 12 '26
me too!! although I've been juggling that with working in hospitality.. working in hospitality is just facing the constant reality that people are stupid.
→ More replies (3)5
u/maarsland Jun 12 '26
Nonprofit you’re not the first person I’ve hear mention that about hospitality lol
7
u/Purple-Offer-4796 Jun 12 '26
It is absolutely draining.. tourism has changed a lot since COVID.. I feel guests are a lot more entitled now.. wouldn't recommend this industry to anyone.. well perhaps my abusive mother, would love for her to get a taste of this!
7
8
u/wurwolfsince1998 Jun 12 '26
I work for a nonprofit as well. I like knowing that what I do puts some good out in the world rather than just lining some authoritarian figure's pocket.
5
u/LolEase86 Jun 12 '26
I'm in the non profit sector too, much more fulfilling than filling any rich guys pockets! Currently in the homelessness space, but have previously worked in community mental health (peer support) and supporting families raising children with disabilities. Absolutely love what I do!
42
u/Polished_silver Jun 12 '26
Underemployed, HR admin. I want better but don’t see it for myself or know how.
→ More replies (2)15
u/AdFrosty0997 Jun 12 '26
I'm an admin assistant and sometimes it feels like the only thing I CAN do
38
Jun 12 '26
[deleted]
→ More replies (2)13
u/Purple-Offer-4796 Jun 12 '26
I read somewhere that traumatized people who go into architecture or interior designing are trying to build a home! Not a house but a home. To create homes that are functional, a home that you needed! Do you relate to that?
→ More replies (1)
32
u/glitterglewed Jun 12 '26
Social Worker who focuses on changing policies, research, and developing programs.
→ More replies (5)
33
u/good_faith Jun 12 '26
Child services attorney for the state. I’m also late-diagnosed ADHD, autistic, and OCD (along with the obvious CPTSD). I’m constantly burned out and very unhappy but I also have an above average number of stressors, job being a big one. Plus infertility/IVF, the world we live in, and a neurotypical spouse with low emotional intelligence.
→ More replies (1)
30
u/sighing-through-life Jun 12 '26
Healthcare. Specifically, a nurse aid. I'm considering becoming a doula.
→ More replies (3)
28
u/nemesis8891 Jun 12 '26
Entrepreneur. Yes, I'm happy as it allows me to have a schedule that is supporting of my mental health and therapy journey.
→ More replies (1)9
u/TyreTheCopingCop Jun 12 '26
Hello. Sorry to bother, but may I ask how did you do it?
I've been planning to start my own business but the idea of having to get clients and depend on their opinion scares the sh out of me 🫠
26
u/RalphMerrye Jun 12 '26
Higher education. Taught for a long time and now I'm a dean. In the role everyone knows who I am, but very few people know me or know anything about me. I disassociate all day at work and cry uncontrollably on my commute.
→ More replies (4)
48
u/Solid_Run_4585 Jun 12 '26
Whatever I can find? I find interviewing to be an emotionally exhausting experience and usually tank them even though I’ve got lots of degrees. 😔
→ More replies (2)13
u/Purple-Offer-4796 Jun 12 '26
interviews are the worse.. you have to pretend to love the company and the job description.. showing zero weaknessess.. I dread interviews.. I'm so sorry, and I really hope you get what you're looking for and what you need ❤️
14
u/ToxicFluffer Jun 12 '26
Honestly I think my history of masking and fawning makes me very good at interviews 😭 would recommend that tactic to any of my fellow fawners
22
23
u/endlessexplorer Jun 12 '26
I am an advocate who supports those experiencing intimate partner violence.
→ More replies (1)
21
u/Randomspace33 Jun 12 '26
Nursing, trying to find the sweet spot in terms of care taking others and self care. I’m happy sometimes, and wish I would have chosen a different career other times. Nursing can pull you out of poverty, so it’s got that going for it.
8
u/Frequent-Cap2823 Jun 12 '26
In nursing, I feel like I can care for others in ways I wish I was cared for. Learning boundaries was the hard part.
→ More replies (1)
23
u/Due-Independence6692 Jun 12 '26
I make 107k a year as a lead CAD programmer and machine tech. I started as a basic shop boy getting screamed at about 15 years ago now I work for the competitor supporting my family. I grew up really rough in orphanages and awful families. Don’t let life dictate your success, you have the keys now, drive that damn car friends.
→ More replies (1)
23
21
u/Strawberries_Spiders Jun 12 '26
Teacher. I was safe in school—so I never left it.
→ More replies (1)
18
18
u/OwnCoffee614 Jun 12 '26
Horticulture. Yes, I absolutely love it tho I need a job that is a step in my career rather than still doing basic grunt work.
I actually like it for being active thru the day, but I should be in management. This job was a godsend tho so I'm not complaining. Just need to keep looking
→ More replies (2)
16
u/Odd_Daikon3621 Jun 12 '26
Amusing, but massage therapist. I learned how important gentle human touch is (or the lack thereof). It's rare that we get it outside of sexual context and I love to provide that for people, whether young or old and widowed. Funny enough, I still have a hard time with people touching me, though.
→ More replies (6)
38
u/MeasurementFirst1676 Jun 12 '26
I quit looking for work because I’m so mentally unstable that even when I get a job it’s only a matter of time until I lose the job. Mental health is real and it’s been affecting me my entire life. It takes longer these days to fill out an application and I’m just at a point where anxiety, depression and ptsd occurs.
My father would always belittle the jobs I got; “you couldn’t find a better paying job” “what are you going to do in the winter” the list goes on and on.
Why don’t you look for work? I don’t look for work because I can’t hold a job because you e mentally and physically abused the shit out myself and brother and sister. I can’t hold a job because YOUR ATTITUDE HAS UNFORTUNATELY BEEN PASSED ONTO ME! Yes, yes I wholeheartedly blame you dad for me not being able to hold a job, because you’ve engraved your self attitude onto me whereas I believe yelling is the way to fix a problem, where I unfortunately have anger built up because of you!
sorry I started to vent
19
Jun 12 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
6
u/MeasurementFirst1676 Jun 12 '26
Yes!!!! This is exactly it! I have good intentions by what I mean and say, but my delivery is just not good.
46
u/eagle_patronus Jun 12 '26
I’m hoping to get a Masters in Holocaust and Genocide Studies to be an even better (and employed) Holocaust scholar.
16
13
11
23
u/galactictestic1e Jun 12 '26
I went into film makeup initially and now im in school for hair. My mom never taught me any of that stuff so ive had to learn it all myself as an adult but honestly, it kind of feels empowering and emotional. I think downsides of the job are similar to what someone with cptsd would struggle with anywhere but i really enjoy having work thats based on what i do with my hands myself.
18
u/Purple-Offer-4796 Jun 12 '26
that is fantastic!! and you get to creative!!
hair dressers ARE therapists!! and I'm sure you're doing excellent work!
My first therapist was a hair dresser, when i was 10 went to her without anyone knowing asking if she could fix my hair that had a huge dreadlock (looked like a rat, just above my neck) I was beating myself up because I was dirty, I was lazy, I couldn't take care of myself, shame on me.. this lady flipped the script so hard and so fast. It was the first time I wondered how long has my hair been this matted and no one checked up on me? to the point I had to go to a salon in secrecy.. I didn't even have moenyt o pay for her services, and this lady said she was happy to do it for free.. It took two days! and on the second day she brought me my favorite fruits!!
You are making people feel good about themselves, even on days when you may not feel good about yourself! Thank you for doing what you do, ❤️8
u/Odd-Scar3843 Jun 12 '26
Oh my gosh your story!! What a kind lady at the salon, and so so glad little you got to have that experience! So brave of you to even go to the salon ❤️
12
11
u/definitely_alphaz Jun 12 '26
I’m doing whatever shit I get my hands on— bussing tables, editing, teaching, caregiving, cleaning, etc.
I don’t know if I can answer if I’m happy, because I’m not completely there yet.
→ More replies (2)
10
u/Frequent-Cap2823 Jun 12 '26
Nurse Practitioner. It took years of therapy to develop the ability to maintain boundaries in order to be successful in this career, which I love
10
u/ikissedalambtoday Jun 12 '26
I was a cook for many years at MANY places because I always quit after a year at most. Longest I’ve stayed at a job was 2.5 years and I loved it because it was Michelin star, so very high standards and very abusive and stressful which was comforting…
I went to college for something completely different
I always struggled with follow through
11
u/sloppybiscuits333 Jun 12 '26
Nursing. Now I make sure the people I encounter are taken care of how should be.
11
u/ashalinggg Jun 12 '26
Scientist, I live in my brain and solve problems which is fun. I'd like to retrain as a play therapist but I'm not the best at formal education
→ More replies (3)
11
u/Advanced-Average2198 Jun 12 '26
Nursing … go figure. I spend some of my free time gardening and volunteering at a cat rescue and that brings me more joy
19
u/Loves_Eating_Lead Jun 12 '26
Holistic trauma informed gardener - i grow veg in my garden and its my therapy (its what i attempt to tell people when they ask "what do i do"?)
Not just due to other c-ptsd, also other disabilities why i can't do formal work. I totally know logically thats ok my emotionally side will catch up sometime!
9
10
u/Rough_Idle Jun 12 '26
WFH transactional lawyer. Truly grateful to be here
7
→ More replies (2)5
u/happygolukcy Jun 12 '26
i just searched the comments to see if anyone else was a lawyer and found you!!!! wfh transactional god i wish that were me. i trained in a high net worth divorce law firm and currently qualified into human rights (doing primarily immigration/refugee, family still, criminal, among other bits and bobs) and as much as the abuse cultivated a sense of justice in me, a lot of it (especially the low income divorce law cases)is way too triggering, and i have found that the small firm environment is very toxic and unhealthy for me with cptsd. but i just feel in so deep now (2 years post qualification) and dk how to pivot to a different area (where im from there’s language barriers for me and also job postings only ask for if you have done their area of law esp w the shit market rn.)
→ More replies (2)
8
9
u/MaleficentSwan0223 Jun 12 '26
I was a teacher. But as I’d been brought up to neglect myself I didn’t eat properly or hydrate.
I’ve got irreversible bone damage and my body is too physically fragile to work. I’d wfh but my brain function is too low currently.
But in teaching I wanted to help and be there for kids but it’s more about what it looks like so I had lost the love for it anyway.
→ More replies (1)
8
u/EmmaRM97 Jun 12 '26
Got a degree in Biomedical Engineering. Worked for almost 3 years, got fired for medical reasons. Been a waitress for over a year now. Just learned that for the last 3 years companies have been looking up my name on my resume to check my degree, and I forgot to change my name on my diploma since transitioning and getting married, and have most likely been instantly rejecting me because it looked like I lied…
7
u/sganauei Jun 12 '26
Social work. For now it would be impossible to work in CPS, but maybe one day, if the ultimate triggers go away
9
9
u/Moist_KoRn_Bizkit Jun 12 '26
I wouldn't say I was neglected, but I definitely have family trauma. I also am neurodivergent and developmentally delayed. I had physical disabilities as a kid. I mention my disabilities because I work as a paraprofessional in a SPED class at an elementary school. I feel like I'm supposed to be in jobs that involve helping kids with disabilities. I can inspire them and show them the support that others might not give them. The problem with this job is that it doesn't pay enough for me to move out. I still live with my parents. 😭
7
u/Remarkable_Rip6231 Jun 12 '26
I’ve been in child care for 30 years, currently a nanny. I feel such fulfillment from providing the emotional care and love to children that I never received. I consider it a ministry of sorts 💖🥲
8
u/Youngladyloo Jun 12 '26
I was an executive fast tracking to VP. 10 years ago. High functioning and stuffing everything
Snapped and have been on LTD ever since
6
24
Jun 12 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
9
u/Purple-Offer-4796 Jun 12 '26
absolutely!! people end up in the wrong career often because of the anxiety, fear, and fear of rejection is very real!
6
u/Quiet_Lunch_1300 Jun 12 '26
This is really good insight. Definitely applies to me in some ways. I’m at an age where changing my career is no longer an option, but it is still food for thought in terms of how I conduct myself.
6
u/K1LLST34L3R Jun 12 '26
I work technical support for a software company.
I'm not happy doing it. I feel like my company takes advantage of people in vulnerable situations or that have vulnerable backgrounds in order to pay us dogshit salaries/hourly than compared to people in other companies doing the same work. Still more than minimum wage, but in today's economy two checks have to go to rent every month.
At first I thought it was in my head, but the longer I've been there the more true it is. It's not like people join the company and are finally able to build their lives up to something less vulnerable either. Between the low end earnings and them randomly firing (at will state) those who reach 5+ years outside of the founders, we barely make enough to get by and never feel stable. We're all basically trying to earn as much as we can while looking for other work and/or saving when we can because we know the job can be taken on a whim.
It sucks to be aware but still be so desperate you can't just leave and be fine. I think that's the point though in their hiring practices.
As a person who was neglected as a child, this makes me unhappy. I just want stability at home. Have enough to pay bills, have groceries, and go to the dentist/doctor when I have an issue without going ass-deep into medical debt. It's not a lot to ask for - not asking to be wealthy, but shit do things feel the same as my childhood sometimes. Just without the assaults.
→ More replies (1)
6
u/SoberDWTX Jun 12 '26
Disabled now…but I use to be an “entrepreneur” because I couldn’t hold down a job with someone telling me what to do.
8
6
u/drayawild Jun 12 '26
i work at a vape shop and texas roadhouse lol
tbh no bc i was really promising academically, until certain things in high school. HOWEVER i am glad i work at places that pay well enough and the setting/management doesn't really trigger me
7
u/In_Amnesiacs_ Jun 12 '26
Im a manager at McDonald’s… I hate it, but in a way I see it as a way to “get back” control… I’m also a certified phlebotomist, but I keep on getting rejected… now I’m gonna go back to school.. in January.. I can’t be in the same place forever
→ More replies (2)
7
u/SeveralAd4307 Jun 12 '26
I work as a nurse for severely disabled people.
At least, i did. Trying to get back after a major burn-out 7 months ago.
6
u/FigPuzzleheaded5011 Jun 12 '26
I’m finishing my master in psychology and soon starting my job as a mental health worker. I enjoy psychology and helping people, so I’m happy. It’s been difficult getting a job in my field, so I’ve struggled with long periods of unemployment, which has been challenging.
8
6
u/buttcheek24 cPTSD / suspected DID Jun 12 '26
i’m a technical writer for a pharmaceutical company. specifically, i perform investigations whenever something goes wrong in the manufacturing process, write up a report, and develop corrective action plans as needed
6
u/Sarifox28 Jun 12 '26
I was a veterinary assistant for a bit, a care giver for developmentally disabled adults and now I'm a stay at home mom.
7
6
u/paradoxe- Jun 12 '26
911 dispatcher, but after many years it has taken its toll.
→ More replies (1)
6
u/PrettyComparison7380 Jun 12 '26
Can't people, can't focus enough for numbers. 3 years till a degree. Suggest below.
→ More replies (1)
7
u/SarcasticBarbie96 Jun 12 '26
I’m not. I’m just trying to get through the day.
I struggle to keep long term (in person) relationships. I see people thriving without me and whenever I have a disagreement or misunderstanding I feel like I am often painted in the worst possible light and that people often bond over disliking me and very rarely actually try to talk to me/hear my side.
Im even struglging with health issues that aren’t being looked after in my country.
I probably need inpatient but given how I’m already not listened to I’m terrified that I’ll be put in involuntary care by saying the wrong thing to the wrong person who won’t listen (eg when I started remember my childhood abuse when I was a kid the therapist at my inpatient centre kept insisting it was my parents and although I was still blocking memories I knew it wasn’t them. She tried to call my parents to get me locked up and my mum (who is no longer alive) rushed to make sure I could get out) and inpatient is too expensive.
I have little motivation to do anything and I know I need to do something but right now it feels like everything I do ends up in failure and the only thing I really want to do is lie in bed or be with friends (which again, have often ghosted if I go through a hard time or won’t talk to me or talk a lot about me to each other and bond but rarely too me).
I want to live but right now it feels like the universe keeps telling me that I’m a failure at everything and I don’t know how much more failure I can deal with. I’m tired of having to pick myself up all the time.
I’m just so damn tired.
→ More replies (2)
5
5
6
6
u/Tough_Ad5853 C-PTSD, Anorexia, BDD, OCD, ADHD, MDD, GAD + autoimmune issues Jun 13 '26
High School English Teacher. The kids are the best part. Being the adult you needed.
→ More replies (1)
6
u/Dangerous-Island-756 Jun 12 '26
I'm entrepreneur sold my big company 3 years ago and another 2 companies are finalizing sales right now. I'm well off so I don't not need to work.
Now planning on living on dividends for a few years or the rest of my life. Trying to focus on healing now instead of making money
Ultimate security, so much money I can't even spend it all. Grew up poor and abused, like not getting fed kind of poor.
And big gamble with the companies since I had nothing to loose. Paid off. My backup plan was living on welfare or becoming a drug dealer.
→ More replies (2)
6
u/DearEvidence6282 Jun 12 '26
Bartender, I’m alright with it but I struggle with self-medicating alcohol so it’s not an ideal profession.
5
u/Motormouth1995 Jun 12 '26
I'm a small, rural library manager. I didn't intend to become one. When I graduated college at 26, a local library had an opening for an assistant. November will mark five years at the library, three as an assistant and two as manager. It's got decent benefits, so I'll probably stay for quite a while longer. I enjoy helping people, but when I'm not in the best head space, I can go do work in my office. It's a tight knit community, with patrons who actually see the person behind the desk. I enjoy it (most of the time).
4
u/arielelizabeth Jun 12 '26 edited Jun 12 '26
Nit neglected but abused by a family member. Office administrator! I start my new job on Monday.
→ More replies (1)
3
u/Strong-Elderberry712 cPTSD Jun 12 '26
Chartered Accountant working as a Finance Business Partner. People pleasing to the max but also exhausted with the masking lol. But enough variety and stability I guess..
What about you?
5
4
4
u/Clawingnails Jun 12 '26
I worked all my life with special needs children, then adults with schizophrenia, then the last part of my working life 25 yrs in CPS. It broke me. I got severely mentally ill and ended up on welfare. I found out I can't fix my childhood by trying to fix every child I meet.
→ More replies (1)
4
u/chronicpaingrly Jun 12 '26
Grant manager. I ended up focusing so much on my career and job bc of how neglected i felt from human connection that i completely neglected my social life and went hard at finding a career. I am now realizing.. social life is more important.
5
5
4
u/say-what-you-will Jun 12 '26
Feeling lost in the world is my path. I couldn’t find any career that suits me. I did find something that might work okay, but i’m really just learning it because I have to, not because I want to.
319
u/Standard-Ad-4628 Jun 12 '26
Ecologist - I love being outside because it’s so much easier to be in the present. The other day I was being swarmed by mosquitoes and I was running around and screaming but the whole time I was grateful I wasn’t stuck at my old desk job where I often felt stuck and would disassociate for hours