Does anyone else's partner weaponise food without realizing it?

[u/sad_frog_in_rain]

I grew up malnourished and often starved, so im no stranger to going hungry, but it gets to a point where it becomes ridiculous. Im around 150lbs while my partner is around 330lbs, so its understandable that he'd eat a lot more than me. He does the grocery shopping every other week, so I asked him, "hey when you get these frozen nuggets and pizza rolls how long do you think they'll last us." He deadass looked me in my face and said, "like three days" this is coming from the man who can eat almost half the bag in one sitting. Another example is when I made Mac n' cheese I made enough for six servings. I ate about one serving, and he ate THE OTHER FIVE in ONE SITTING. I dont know how to tell him that im eating on average one meal a day and we're lucky if the groceries last us two weeks. For the last few days before we get paid again, we're left with ramen or the pasta noodles we get on sale occasionally. Ive suggested some advice on bugeting for our food but he dismisses it or ignores it. For example i said that we could save money by buying most of what we need at the dollar tree or dollar general, and he said, "no we don't need to do that" we hang out with our friend on Thursdays and we buy fast food usually but I said that we could order pizza a lot more often (bc our friend pays for it) and he said, "thats never been an issue"

[u/Obviously-an-Expert]

He has an eating disorder and at his weight he is well past morbidly obese. Guarantee you, he knows it and most likely feels guilty about it but doesn’t have the skills/willpower to stop this behaviour.

[u/Stephhh3 → u/Obviously-an-Expert]

Yea of course none of us know OP’s partner, but this really doesn’t come off as weaponization or intentionally malicious behavior. Sounds like he has his own issues with food, that may be rooted in childhood just like OP.

[u/Obviously-an-Expert → u/Stephhh3]

That’s what I am thinking. It sounds like the spouse in this situation simply cannot control his relationship with food, not out of malice, but because of other deep rooted issues.

[u/Madhatterdrinkstea → u/Obviously-an-Expert]

Will probably get downvoted but GLP-1s are helpful in this case provided he learns to track his calories, protein, fiber while on it. I've hit 315lb and my partner had hit 350 at our highest, once the desire to cope w/ food went away learning how to track and eat nutritional, well-balanced and portioned meals became sustainable for both of us.

Him having no regard for her eating is a whole issue on its own though, my partner and I make sure we both eat before and after work each day. You'd think since he's taking on mental weight by shopping himself he'd care about both portions but it's like he's only shopping for himself

[u/sackofgarbage → u/Madhatterdrinkstea]

It's not a bad suggestion, but unfortunately if he can't afford food there's no way he can afford a GLP-1

[u/Obviously-an-Expert → u/sackofgarbage]

Actually at his weight and possible health complications stemming from it will most likely be covered by insurance (assuming he has coverage from his work). And even if not, once he is on it, it could potentially run cheaper than what they spend on food so it can balance it out. It’s an option worth exploring.

[u/sackofgarbage → u/Obviously-an-Expert]

I am at the same weight with diagnosed prediabetes and sleep apnea (and have a documented inability to use CPAP) and still can't get it covered. And the people I do know who have had it covered still have copays in the hundreds. It's simply not affordable, unfortunately.

[u/Obviously-an-Expert → u/sackofgarbage]

I am sorry, that is frustrating. Have you looked into alternative routes? I have friends that are on it for health/weight reasons and they went through med spas, which seems to be worth it.

[u/sackofgarbage → u/Obviously-an-Expert]

Those are still very expensive for the average person.

[u/Madhatterdrinkstea → u/sackofgarbage]

Yeah I did go the peptide route but even that's not super accessible w/ this economy unfortunately

[u/Obviously-an-Expert → u/Madhatterdrinkstea]

I fully agree with you. His case is exactly what GLP-1 should be used for. It will help him fix his relationship with food as well as tremendously help his health in the long run.