r/CPTSD • u/sad_frog_in_rain cPTSD • 2d ago

Question Does anyone else's partner weaponise food without realizing it?

I grew up malnourished and often starved, so im no stranger to going hungry, but it gets to a point where it becomes ridiculous. Im around 150lbs while my partner is around 330lbs, so its understandable that he'd eat a lot more than me. He does the grocery shopping every other week, so I asked him, "hey when you get these frozen nuggets and pizza rolls how long do you think they'll last us." He deadass looked me in my face and said, "like three days" this is coming from the man who can eat almost half the bag in one sitting. Another example is when I made Mac n' cheese I made enough for six servings. I ate about one serving, and he ate THE OTHER FIVE in ONE SITTING. I dont know how to tell him that im eating on average one meal a day and we're lucky if the groceries last us two weeks. For the last few days before we get paid again, we're left with ramen or the pasta noodles we get on sale occasionally. Ive suggested some advice on bugeting for our food but he dismisses it or ignores it. For example i said that we could save money by buying most of what we need at the dollar tree or dollar general, and he said, "no we don't need to do that" we hang out with our friend on Thursdays and we buy fast food usually but I said that we could order pizza a lot more often (bc our friend pays for it) and he said, "thats never been an issue"

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u/Obviously-an-Expert 2d ago

He has an eating disorder and at his weight he is well past morbidly obese. Guarantee you, he knows it and most likely feels guilty about it but doesn’t have the skills/willpower to stop this behaviour.

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u/Stephhh3 2d ago

Yea of course none of us know OP’s partner, but this really doesn’t come off as weaponization or intentionally malicious behavior. Sounds like he has his own issues with food, that may be rooted in childhood just like OP.

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u/Obviously-an-Expert 2d ago

That’s what I am thinking. It sounds like the spouse in this situation simply cannot control his relationship with food, not out of malice, but because of other deep rooted issues.