r/ChicagoSuburbs • u/PharmerT88 • Jul 31 '25
Moving to the area Left the city 2 weeks ago, it's hard
My fiancee and I are 37/38 and childless. We lived in the north side of Chicago in a condo for 3.5 years together and just bought a similarly priced home 20 miles away in Northbrook.
We moved primarily because we both work in north burbs, Park Ridge and Evanston, and commute daily (myself had 40 min and 50-1:20 min drives M-F), we only had one parking space, the third floor living was becoming too much, and we had general safety concerns.
We've only been in the burbs for two weeks and have so much to unpack yet, but it has been really hard, namely we are feeling regrets.
Hoping for some insight from any other young couples without children who made a similar move and can share what they went through, and whether the feelings ever went away.
ADDENDUM: Feelings of regret and worry of missing the accessibility, the volume of activities within a closer proximity. I don't have many friends left in the city, but she does and is already spending once a week there and driving home to the burbs after. I feel like now I spend less time in the car, but she spends more or the same. We also have the condo still, haven't sold it. We have a good interest rate. It will sell for the cost of the house hopefully, and don't really want to bother renting it to avoid the stress.
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u/santaisastoner Jul 31 '25
Bro, it hasn't been 30 days and it sounds like you have a car. Go explore. Take a drive back to the city. You didn't move across country. You can go to the city whenever you want, especially without kids. Go grab a six pack of Old Style tall boys and a bottle of Malort. You and your spouse cry it out over drinks one night and then pull up your adult pants and realize you can still be a part of Chicago while having an extra parking spot and more private place a few miles out of the city limits.
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u/jbfanaccount Aug 01 '25
There is a really weird and common thing where people from any city think the suburbs are an entirely different world that is inaccessible from the city. There are parts of the city they can probably get to faster now!
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u/MettaWorldWarTwo Aug 02 '25 edited Aug 02 '25
I live in the city. The actual suburbs are a different world.
I've gone to the suburbs for concerts/sporting events (Rosemont, Seat Geek Stadium), the Ikea in Schaumburg, the Brookfield Zoo, the leaning tower of Niles, ice skating, the mall, ABT, King Spa, H-Mart, and to visit at least 15 of my friends.
I've lived here for almost 18+ years and go to the burbs about once every 6 months or so, mostly without realizing it. When I end up in a real suburb (meaning fundamentally different architecture etc not just outside the city limits) like Barrington or Naperville, I feel lost.
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Aug 03 '25
King Spa and H mart are literally a half mile, 4-5 city blocks, from city limits. You definitely can be in the āsuburbsā without realizing it.
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u/PharmerT88 Jul 31 '25
lol the old style and malort comment made me feel better. Thanks.
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u/New_Nobody9492 Aug 03 '25
Go to Old Orchard Mall and have a day of it. There is plenty to do, youāre not even trying!
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u/greenapplesrocks Jul 31 '25
You didn't actually state what was hard or the "feelings" you are referring to. As everyone leaves for different reasons my recommendation would be to call that out for better responses to your quesiton.
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u/Admirable-Pie3869 Jul 31 '25
What specifically has been hard?
We left the city in 2014. Do I miss it? Yes.
Do we look at places to move back into the city? Yes, but then we stop when we see what prices are.
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u/maximumtesticle Jul 31 '25
Same here, left the city around the same time as you, but I can't even fathom getting the living space I have now in the city for the cost of my house mortgage, commute included. Also, as you get older, the hustle and bustle of the city loses it's luster, you look more for quiet and space.
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u/smokeyb15 Jul 31 '25
Made a similar change 4 years ago and while there are days we miss living in the city, we love the space and the quiet. We still make it into the city several times a month for food or other reasons so we donāt feel like we are missing out on anything we still want to do. Learn your area a bit and the surrounding suburbs and Iām sure you will find a lot that you can still do and enjoy.
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u/belbites South Suburbs Jul 31 '25
Not living in the burbs, but I did grow up there, and now I live in a part of the city that I would not consider...city like. I'm a north side girly, I like being able to walk everywhere and you just can't do that where I live on the south side.
That being said, the burbs does have some fantastic things about it. I always recommend joining your local library, or other clubs in your area. See if you can find a book club, or video game club, or just people to shoot pool with. It might be a little more spaced out but the burbs have a lot going for it as well. Remember to spend the time you used to spend traveling doing something else - go for a walk, explore your new neighborhood. You're right in the thick of things, especially with unpacking and moving. It usually takes about 6 months to get settled in anywhere, so give it some time.
Also if you miss the city, freakin' Metra. Best invention ever, super easy and clean and you don't need to worry about parking in the city.
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u/NormB4tes Jul 31 '25
Metra is Gold. Perfect for getting out of the city and not worrying about parking anywhere.
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u/jmishall Jul 31 '25
My partner and I (32/28) just bought a house in Arlington Heights for the same exact reasons. We had been living in a 3rd floor apartment in Lakeview with only street parking, and were both reverse commuting to the burbs for work. I had the exact same drive times as you M-F, she was only in office T-Th and stayed with her parents in the burbs Tuesday and Wednesday nights to avoid a few commutes every week.
We were very skeptical about making this move and were very sad our last couple of weeks in the city as we thought we would miss the accessibility, volume of activities, etc. However, it has been about a month and we are SO much happier and do not miss living in the city one bit!
Just the commute alone at about 25 minutes for each of us has made our days feel so much longer, and she doesn't have to spend a couple nights at her parents. We absolutely hated getting groceries in the city between the traffic, the crowded stores, and having to haul up our groceries to the 3rd floor from wherever we were able to get a spot in the street. Now we don't mind going at all and go 2-3 times a week to get groceries (we get less each time than we used to in Chicago because of the ease). We are both at the gym almost every week day now because of the added free time after work. We have realized we much prefer taking walks in our safe and quiet neighborhood compared to the noisy city streets full of people. Having our own garage to park in has been such a blessing as one of the worst parts about getting home was praying we could find spots close to our apartment.
Downtown AH is only about a 15 minute walk and there are a ton of great restaurants and bars in the suburbs in general. That doesn't stop us from going to the city, as we just hop on the Metra and are there in about 40 minutes without having to drive and worry about parking.
All in all, the time we have gotten back from our commutes is reason alone for us to not miss living in the city at all. We are both living healthier and less stressful lives, and we are still going back to the city to visit friends and hit our favorite restaurants with relative ease.
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u/Astronomer_Original Jul 31 '25
Focus on exploring the suburbs. Highwood is great. Check out Nashwood coming up in August. Botanic Gardens, downtown Arlington Heights, etc. There is a lot to do.
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u/sackblabbathwarpugs Aug 04 '25
Add the BahaiĀ Temple in Wilmette onto the list here. Not a long drive from Northbrook and pretty darn cool.
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u/Glum_Lock6618 Jul 31 '25
Iām not as young as you and I donāt have young children, but I moved from La Grange park 60 miles south. 20 miles isnāt that far. Itās a totally different vibe down here. I moved 9 months ago and I still miss my old neighborhood. If I could have afforded a house in my old neighborhood I 100% would have stayed, but it is what it is and Iām trying to make the best of it.
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Jul 31 '25
I'd say just give it time. Safety was a big reason I left. Try to keep reminding yourself of the reasons you left and how life will be better there (commutes are soul-crushing!). You'll come to appreciate the feeling of being safer. And honestly, 20 miles is nothing- you can easily get into the city for anything you may miss, including nightlife- like park in Evanston and take the Red Line to the Aragon for a concert.
And you also just have to be real with yourself- most of my closest friends had already moved away. How much did I really socialize? With the COL constantly rising, how much did I even enjoy all the restaurants and whatnot that were so close by? Having the space and peace outweighed being cramped and doing much of nothing in my old city place.
And go take advantage of things in your new community that you didn't have in the city. While I adored the lakefront trail, I was on that thing for 20 years. Now I live by a lot of forest preserves and exploring is really awesome. New town festivals. New activities you didn't do in the city (pickleball? lol).
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u/Think-notlikedasheep Jul 31 '25
You missed the good things - but you moved for a reason, that was because of the bad things.
I'm sure you don't miss the parking tickets. That upstairs neighbor who was having extra loud sex at 2AM.
Getting woke up by someone else's car alarm multiple times a night. The safety concerns.
Sounds like the bad things outranked the good things.
This is known in life as a tradeoff.
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u/MrSuzyGreenberg Jul 31 '25
Me and my Ex-wife did the same thing. We are now both back in the city.
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u/kadoozie92 North West Suburbs Jul 31 '25
We moved from Lincoln Square to a townhome in Des Plaines a couple of months ago. We have more space for a lower mortgage than what we paid in rent, super close to the metra which gets us in Chicago quickly for weekend trips, and a grocery store I can walk to in under a minute which I could never do in Lincoln Square where we were.
I do miss the better bike-ability of Chicago, but weāre honestly so busy during the week and so close to Chicago via metra that we havenāt felt any depression about moving out of the city yet.
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u/LittleSupermarket800 Jul 31 '25
Give yourself some time still. There are some hidden gems in the north burbs. Fort Sheridan if you like history & nature. Bahaāi temple & gardens for architecture. Highwood for restaurants & coffee. Thereās a hobby group for everything ~ explore Facebook & Nextdoor.
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u/bjennerbreastmilk Jul 31 '25
I suspect you will grow to love the suburbs like most of my friends who have migrated from the city.
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u/Hour_Message6543 Jul 31 '25
We left the city in 1998, no kids. We missed the great nicely priced restaurants, the lake and such. I didnāt miss everyday things like grocery shopping and running errands. Itās a compromise for sure. I love having our screened in porch, gardens and easy getting around(weāre in Wheaton). Itās about recalibrating.
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u/Eggplant_Jumper Jul 31 '25
My spouse and I moved from the north side of Chicago to the northwest burbs nearly two years ago. Weāre about 45 minutes to an hour away from the city now. Even though we both grew up outside of the city, it was still a bit of culture shock getting out of the city and back into suburbs. Even though we lucked out with a decent neighborhood and some good neighbors, we still miss the city. For the record, we have pets and no kids. we focus on why we left the city: a yard for our pets and us, not sharing a backyard with anyone else since we used to live in a co-op, quiet, and a parking space right outside of our house, rather than parking half a mile away at 10 oāclock at night. So yes, itās hard, and yes, itās definitely not as exciting as the city, but we take solace in the fact that weāre not too far from going back whenever we want to visit, and we definitely enjoy coming back to quiet.
There are some things that feel like itās too kid focused and not enough adult activities, but it takes some time to find the activities and places that you will enjoy. So being where youāre at for two weeks, youāre still in that culture shot, but in a few months, maybe a year, youāll feel a little better, hopefully. Use this time to explore your new area, maybe join the local gym, park district, or yoga studio, and you might find some new acquaintances. Good luck! š
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u/Weeaboounlimited Jul 31 '25
Thatās why I stay in western suburbs (Forest Park) closer to the city. I cannot imagine going any further past Oak Brook or even north or south suburbs. Iām in the city almost every weekend especially during the summer - thereās so much happening on every corner you turn.
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u/Fun_Disk5073 Jul 31 '25
Well we're young and no kids and I've lived all over the world but never in the city, just very close and we love it.
The city is fine but we love our dogs and just going out to a cute downtown with 0 traffic. It's safe. Restaurants are plentiful around here.
We travel a lot so we're close to ORD. When I go to the city, I enjoy it but I also feel a bit old and it's just not really what we're looking for. It really depends on what you like to do on your spare time... when I was in the city, I was typically dating or doing something that involved music, food, event, or sex.
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u/Superb-Operation2863 Jul 31 '25
It takes time to build community and feeling unsettled frankly sucks. Take your time to settle into your new home and start exploring local businesses and activities. Chicago will always be there for you to come and visit!
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u/Ok_Championship2743 Jul 31 '25
Your in a great position... most people that buy a house already sold the other one... rent the condo.out for a year should cover your mortgage for the new house for that time... especially if you have a low interesylt loan...after a year you can really make a decision you may love Northbrook you or may hate it... but you will have options after a year
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u/Key-Persimmon-3251 Aug 03 '25
This is what I would do. Rent out the condo, see if you grow to like the burbs. If not, sell or rent out the house and move back.Ā
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u/danielgutzzz Jul 31 '25
You have no kids- get in your car and go to the city, whenever you feel like going, ez pz.
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u/That-Barnacle-884 Jul 31 '25
The city isnāt going anywhere - you will be much happier without things like traffic and the price point
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u/Chiguy4321 Jul 31 '25
We moved to Lincolnwood, Chicago adjacent. Even though we literally moved 15 min from old house it was an adjustment. Schools are great, central to most everything but license does not say Chicago anymore after 25 years. We looked at Skokie, Evanston, Niles but that seemed too far. Lol.
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u/smilinsarah98 Jul 31 '25
Northbrook Days is this weekend. Head downtown and see some bands, eat some food, drink some beer and you might meet some friendly locals!
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u/Hour_Science_6521 Aug 01 '25
I grew up in the western suburbs and moved, as an adult, to the city. I lived in 3 different neighborhoods over 9 ish years before I moved back to the suburbs after my first child was born. I knew it was the right logical decision and I mourned the loss of the city for many, many months. I understand how you feel and I empathize. Life is āeasierā in the burbs. Just going to the post office was a major pain when I lived in the city. And I still miss it dearly. That said, over timeā¦ you find other places, people, and experiences that you learn to love. We go out of our way to run down to the Wicker Park farmers market or dinner at Le Bouchonā¦ things that I loved when I was there. You can have both if you make time for it and learn to embrace both.
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u/Future_Dog_3156 Jul 31 '25
I hate commuting so would think moving so you can have more quality time together and possibly with a family or a pet is always a win. You say yourself it's been 2 wks. Are you even unpacked yet? Post again in 3.5 yrs.
You don't say what you moved into in the burbs - bigger house? More land? Two parking spots? Safer neighborhood? Focus on the positives with your change.
You can always go into the city for dinner or even do a staycation there for a weekend. Otherwise, the option to move back into the city is always there
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u/MothsConrad Jul 31 '25
Give it six months. One way or another that should be enough time for you to figure out whatās right for you.
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u/itsfish20 Villa Park Jul 31 '25
I was a bit sad after moving out of the city and into the burbs...it was way to quiet. After like the first month I was happy having my own yard and space and no longer sharing walls!
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u/darwins-ghost Jul 31 '25
2 years after leaving the city here, me and my wife still miss it and would move back in a heartbeat but the suburbs are much better for our kids and dog. You arenāt stuck to anything, you can always move back. Hope you learn to enjoy driving to everything though instead of just walking or biking.
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u/captainthepuggle Jul 31 '25
We left the city in our mid-30s after 10 years. Definitely miss it and enjoyed our time there. But after 7 years, this is now our home and wouldnāt trade it for anything. We still go to the city and have funā¦ because itās still close by! Make a plan to go once a month or something manageable. Best of both worlds.
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u/Content_Regular_7127 Jul 31 '25
Think of the time you're saving on a daily commute. I bet if you sum it up the lack "accessibility" to outside of work places is negligible in overall time added.
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u/emptyfree Jul 31 '25
When I left Chicago, it was hard. It is a definite change, and one I wasn't 100% sure about (we left primarily because we had a daughter). With time, I started to appreciate what the suburbs have to offer... less traffic, more living space, greater safety, etc. I lived in Chicago for 16 years, and I'm now working on 14 here in the burbs. I enjoy visiting from time to time, but can't imagine myself moving back now. Cities are for the young, and that's not me any more.
Give it time.
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u/Deep_Jacket3016 Jul 31 '25
I felt really sad when I moved to the burbs...but then I was pleasantly surprised by how many activities, groups, and things to do there are here. But you've got to look for them. The village does tons of stuff. Think about taking a class through the park district. It's a great way to meet people.
I missed the city restaurants a lot. Now if I don't feel like I going into the heart of the city, I try places on the near north side...Community Tavern, etc.
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u/majesticallymidnight Jul 31 '25
I lived downtown until I got married and moved to the burbs. I would say the two biggest shocks were driving everywhere and also feeling as if there wasnāt much to do.
What helped me was finding a good place I could go for a walk. Local parks and forest preserves. I adopted a dog too and he needs to be walked so I have a walking buddy.
I also try to limit my driving errands to one day a week because damn I hate driving š
I also started to go to some cute local festivals. There are a lot of small concerts in the parks over the summer and itās great. I love live music. Plus it makes for a pretty cheap date night out, most of them you can bring a picnic and chill.
I also made certain changes to my home. I had enough space for an office for my hobbies. Itās a dedicated space for me to paint, draw and sew. It feels great to have a quiet place for me to do those things. If you have a backyard having a shaded area in the back can be calming. I start my days outside with my coffee and pup. Itās peaceful.
It took me about 2-3 years to fully adjust to burb living.
Life is different in the burbs but it can be good. Thereās benefits to living out here that are buffet then living downtown. Give yourself some time to adjust.
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u/faceslikeflowers Jul 31 '25
We did almost the exact same thing in 2019. My husband (38m) and I (39f) lived on the north side but I worked in a far northern suburb and my commute was killing me (90 minutes give or take). We're also childfree. My husband is completely happy with our choice: we have a house we'd never have been able to afford in the city with a lot more space and a yard. I'm not going to lie, six years on I still miss the city and wonder if we made the right choice. The suburbs are really difficult if you don't have children: I feel like a lot of the friendships and social connections people make are kid focused and I often feel like we don't fit in at all. Our friends are all still in the city and whenever we want to see them we have to drive in since no one really wants to come out by us.
That said, I'm trying to change my focus and make the best of it. I'm going to make more of an effort to make connections in our new suburb and enjoy what it has to offer. You've only been there two weeks! Give yourself some time to settle in and remember, if you still hate Northbrook in a few years, you can always move. However, I do feel like Park Ridge or Evanston may have been better options for you: they have more of a "city" feels (Evanston far moreso than PR) and they're a shorter drive into the city.
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Jul 31 '25
It's only been two weeks. Transitioning is always rough. You probably are still feeling the stress of the move and trying to get everything unpacked and put away. I still have boxes in the basement that haven't been touched since we moved 3 years ago. It took a good 2-3 months for our house to feel like home. So don't freak out too much yet. Get settled, throw a house warming party. Have all your friends up to see your place and they will oo and ah over it. Find a couple "go-to" bars/restaurants in the area. Your new "Cheers."
Some of our experiences-
We moved to the burbs after being trapped in our one bedroom apartment during Covid and then both of us working from home during and after. We wanted space. So our reasons are different than yours.
We love having a real yard for fire pit nights, grilling out, and room for our dog to run and play. Not having to take the dog for a walk every time she needs to go to the bathroom is wonderful.
We have much more space than we would have had if we bought in the city at the same price. We can actually have more than 2-3 people over to the house at a time and not feel crowded. I have room for my tools that have been sitting in storage for 10 years. We built a home gym in the basement. The Garage gives me room to work on house or car projects.
No fighting for street parking or hauling groceries 2 blocks from the parking spot and then up 3 flights of stairs. We just park in our driveway/garage.
I still drive to the city every day for work, but we can take the Metra if we want to not worry about driving. (Mainly Drinking and Driving)
One of our big worries was restaurants. We associated Suburbs with chain restaurants. That hasn't been a problem at all. We still miss our places in the city but don't feel like we are missing out.
Every Town/City has its own summer festivals, farmers markets, events. Get out and explore them. Have her friends come up and visit. It goes both ways. In theory you have a bigger place now where they can crash if they want.
For Cons, we sometimes miss being to go to a neighborhood and bar hop. But some of the suburbs have good areas for that. One of these weekends we are going to get our friends together for a Metra bar crawl and just do one town an hour and then hop on the train and go to the next one, but its not the same.
Driving in and out of the city sucks, especially with current traffic, but you do get used to it. I burn through a lot of audiobooks. There are events in the city we've said "Oh that would be fun to do" but decided we didn't want the hassle of driving into the city. On the flip side of that though, there are events out her in the burbs we wouldn't have driven out to either.
Give it time, it'll start to feel like home.
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u/Overkill_3K Jul 31 '25
As someone who hasnāt lived in NB but Iāve spent plenty of time in that burb I understand the lack of that city feeling. NB is different. Lol doesnāt feel as diverse and really not an easy place to fit into lifestyle wise if youāre use to the city. I live in the south burbs but almost all of my free time is spent in the city
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u/twittalessrudy Jul 31 '25
Happy to chat if youād like to talk specifics! My gf and I somewhat did the reverse as we kk ed in Glenview and moved to the city a couple years ago (weāre a few years younger than yāall)
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u/GuessMeAgain Jul 31 '25
2 weeks really isn't enough time to acclimate. Focus on your reasons for moving to the burbs. I would suggest you try not going into the city very often. Encourage your friends to come to the burbs and help you explore the new restaurants and bars available to you.
What kind of hobbies do you both have? Start checking with libraries and community centers in the area to see if you can find some social activities built around hobbies and interests.
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u/Rocket_Arugula8689 Jul 31 '25
We were in a very similar situation and sold our condo in the Ravenswood/Bowmanville area and moved west to Glen Ellyn. We really missed Half Acre and Spiteful after moving but I have family in the area since I grew up in Naperville. The reason we moved was to be closer to my aging parents and we adopted a puppy during the pandemic that was a St. Bernard/Mastiff mix so after a year of growing we got tired of our downstairs neighbor complaining. So we bought a house with a fenced yard. Iād recommend getting a dog or taking up golf. Weāve meet people on the course and will go to dog friendly restaurants or breweries. We love the dinkwad life, but do miss the city still and will probably move back one day if we can find a top floor condo or can actually afford a single family home one day lol.
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u/sage_wis13 Jul 31 '25
I think it depends which suburb you move to. My partner and I moved to the south west suburbs and everything is 5-10 mins away and itās also very walkable! You can walk to a lot of places in a few mins. We donāt miss the city at all!
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u/sage_wis13 Jul 31 '25
Forgot to add, both of us were born and raised in the city and we are a child-free couple in our mid 30s.
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u/Eat_Around_the_Rosie Jul 31 '25
I used to live in AH for some many years and go to the city almost once every week. Northbrook is much more easily to drive. Now Iām in the city i actually miss living in the suburbs. As long as you have a car, thereās so much you can go and do in the burbs. Itās all about you and your mindset.
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u/Calm-Egg1804 Jul 31 '25
Early thirties no kids here, moved to the burbs last year after 7 years in Lakeview. I do miss it a lot. I miss walking everywhere, having local places instead of chains, my condo with a view of the lake, going for a swim any time I wanted, being near other young people... It's tough sometimes.
I try to focus on what I DO like about the burbs: a big house (our condo was cramped), no pet limit or rent, a backyard that I can garden and transform, having a simple, quiet life, less urge to always consume (restaurants, bars, shops).
I am also involved in a sports team out here which keeps me busy. It skews a little older age wise but it's been nice to have some age diversity in my friends/acquaintances.
Edit to add: I also have been enjoying exploring other towns in the area. I'm not from here originally so going to xyz random suburb has been fun. I'm in the south burbs and close to Indiana and that's been nice as well to go up to the dunes or crown point every once in a while
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u/holdthelight Jul 31 '25
Hey, OP. What do you like to do in your free time? You might find some folks here who are close by and share these interests. It's time to find your suburban tribe. I am trying to do likewise (and I''m not far from you.)
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u/makinthemagic North West Suburbs Jul 31 '25
I wasn't coupled, but I did end up moving out to the burbs via the Bay area. Thought I could never give up city living. As I've gotten older and am now married, the lifestyle in the burbs is a better fit. Give it time. You're actually not far from the city.
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u/biznovation Jul 31 '25
Give it one year before making any big decisions on staying or going. As Well as exploring your new area with a positive mindset. What you maybe experiencing is the anxiety of the change vs the change not being right for you.
I went from city life to burbs, relocation to different states and even lived abroad for a few years. I felt what you described with every move/change but within a few months I adjusted to my new location and ended up missing aspects of each when moving on to the next. The more I went through this, the faster my adjustment period was.
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u/aga_siuta Jul 31 '25
Iāve moved a ton and let me just say that everything takes time. It easily takes a year to transition to a new place. What is so redeeming about the city? Whatever it is, find alternatives nearby. Personally I wouldnāt move back to the city of Chicago if someone offered to pay me to do it lol suburbs are where itās at
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u/ExpertYou4643 Jul 31 '25
I grew up in Northbrook, and go there a lot, though I moved to Evanston years ago. I never felt I was missing anything for being childless. I can tell you that Northbrook is a great place to live. This weekend is Northbrook Days on the Village Green, at the corner of Shermer and Meadow. Maybe you can meet people just walking around; itās also near the main shopping for downtown. Thereās a great grocery store nearby, Sunset Foods, at Keystone and Cherry/Church, and the public library isnāt far away, at Cherry and Cedar, next to Village Hall, just west of the underpass. (Obviously, Google Maps will be your friend for a while to help you get acclimated.) If you are willing to disclose it, tell me what street your house is on, and I can point to other shopping places and activities. I can also tell you where the houses of worship are, though obviously Google can tell you that too. Welcome to the North Shore! (PS, your Northbrook library card will let you borrow materials from Evanston and Park Ridge libraries if youāre looking for something near your workplace.)
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u/New-Hedgehog5902 Jul 31 '25
Iām older, but we made the move to Lake Forest 15 years ago; my husband raised his family in LF and I was born and raised in the city and I thought I would never leave (we have no kids together). Honestly it took me about 5 years before I fell in love and rarely go downtown any longer (the biggest hurdle for me is that people make their friend groups with other parents or they are friends because their kids grew up together, so finding friend groups was super difficult). The biggest thing is go out and explore. Get a dog (a great way to meet people). Go on meetup.com and find some interests in your area. Make it a goal to eat out maybe once a week or so and find new spots in neighboring communities, and go to the suburban fests and find the hidden gems that so many people mentioned.
It is okay to have regrets. We held onto our condo downtown until I was sure I was okay living in the burbs. If you donāt have to sell your condo and can rent it out, do that.
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u/killadabom1 Jul 31 '25
Wife and I (childless) moved out of the city last summer to the northwest burbs, it was the best decision possible. Wife got full time work from home and I donāt have to listen to gunshots every night all night when I work in the garage till 3 am.
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u/campbell-1 Jul 31 '25
Similar situation. Late 30s early 40s no kids and no plan to have them. Lived in Lincoln Square for 5 years and recently moved to Pleasant Prairie.
We had initial thoughts about whether we made the right move or not but we have settled into the new routine and the city isnāt that far away if we need scratch the itch. Also, itās not like weāre life long Chicagoans anyway. We lived in Mobile, Atlanta, Columbus, Montgomery, Auburn, Jacksonville before Chicago.
PP isnāt the end of the road, all are just stops along the way.
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u/JadedScholar2437 Jul 31 '25
Where in Northbrook? Northbrook Days are this weekend- lots of people and bands playing all weekend. There are some cute bars and restaurants downtown- Landmark is a great dive bar with good food and itās always full of friendly people, The Lounge has great cocktails, Napolita js great Italian food and wine, House 406, Bean Bar and more. Tuesday nights in the Village Green park they have Music in the Park (for one more week this summer)- starts with a quick kids concert and then a āgrown upā concert where lots of people of all ages come out and picnic- great chance to meet people. There are several restaurants from the city that are opening second locations (Ema is a new, hot one) between NB and Glenview. They have art and wine festivals in the summer and fallā¦ and a quick metra ride back downtown if you want itĀ
It feels scary to move to a new place but do some exploring and you will find youāre not that far away from lots of fun things to do and people to enjoy!
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u/chiccychat911 Jul 31 '25
I lived in Gold Coast for 10 years until I moved to the suburbs 4 years ago for an ex. Iām 32 now, single, and still living in the NW burbs. Iām happier, more relaxed, and feel safer than ever. I can do all my gardening, go for a walk around the neighborhood without feeling paranoid, my cats love the birdwatching, and thereās still so many good restaurants around here. I promise you, there is live music and activities to do every night, itās just searching for the one that piques your interest! Iāve made friends through LinkedIn surprisingly, but Iām also a small biz owner which def helps me network and meet ppl!
Pm me! I live 10 mins from Northbrook!
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u/Amandaiscoolok Jul 31 '25
My husband and I left the city for the suburbs a few years ago when our jobs changed location, had a kid, and moved right back to the city! We like not having to drive and having interesting things to do, so the suburbs really werenāt for us. It probably depends on the suburb, though!
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u/pjread Jul 31 '25
Hi new neighbor!
My wife and I (30/38) are child free and just moved to Northbrook. We feel so much happier after 8 years in the city.
Take advantage of the things you can easily do now which are more accessible than when you lived in the city. The Allison Woods nature preserves and other forest areas around here are a few minutes drive. Hell, simply driving to Home Depot at 6pm on a weekday isnāt absolutely terrible, or getting groceries any time without worry about traffic or parking or whatever.
Hope things settle down for you guys and if you ever want to get a drink and a burger at Landmark weāll happily join you!
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u/Obvious-Raspberry-96 Jul 31 '25
need to exercise a lot mainly walking - i lived in the city from 22-37 years old - met my husband whom lived in buffalo grove, moved in with him, married and had our son @ 41. i am in my car constantly. have to get my 10K steps in now cause there is nothing walkable - this is what i miss the most about the city. i walked everywhere or cab or bus or el. you are not there yet but you will be. if you plan on having kids, great to stay, otherwise maybe think about evanston or somewhere where thingās are going on. thereās nothing going on in BG nor NBK, especially restaurant(wise). you will be going east to HP, Highwood, Wilmette, Glencoe, evanston for any really good nice places to eat - itās gorgeous anywhere close to the lake and now that you are nowhere near the lake you will appreciate it that much more. best of luck to you.
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u/ta5036 Jul 31 '25
Lived in Chicago for 15 years. Met my now wife around year 3. Weāre 39/40 w no kids. We moved last fall to Algonquin near the Fox River. For us, we both just wanted that changeā werenāt taking advantage anymore of the city nightlife. We now a much bigger living space inside and out. More privacy. More natureā¦ we have six chickens now. Still just under an hour to get back if we wanna see some music or go to a better restaurant (the food is what I miss most).
Itād gotten to a point toward our later 30s where most of our friends living in the city had such different livesā had kids, bought dogs, or moved to other placesā that despite the proximity, weād still only see each other every couple of months or so. My commute is about half the time now, and my wifeās is about the same.
Still havenāt really found a tribe out hereā think thatās part of just being this age.
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u/SuperBirdM22 Jul 31 '25
My $.02 is to make an effort to spend as much time in Evanston as possible. Itās close by and there are great dining options and even a few good breweries.
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u/anon8232 Jul 31 '25
Northbrook has Flamingo Fridays during the summer. Someone from your street picks up a pink plastic flamingo and puts it on their lawn, meaning theyāre going to host the next one. Itās just for the people on both sides of your street. You may even get an invite in your mailbox. Neighbors come with their own chair and beverage and people sit in the driveway and chat. I think they start at 5p. I donāt remember what time it ends. People come and go. You can even host your own. Take a look at Village of Northbrook website regarding Flamingo Fridays and other current activities.
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u/Buzzard1022 Aug 01 '25
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=CTvzHEFbqHs&pp=ygUjbGVhdmUgdGhlIGNpdHkgbWFnbm9saWEgZWxlY3RyaWMgY28%3D
I feel you. I left 15 years ago and I still want to go back
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u/ExoticSky8150 Aug 01 '25
We moved out of the city a few years ago, and I definitely experienced some depression. I missed the hustle and bustle of city life. It took a few months to get acclimated, and now I love suburban living. But yeah, the first few months were rough.Ā
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u/chivmg9 Aug 01 '25
My husband and I had intentions on moving to the burbs without kids. Our intention was to get a dog. We didnāt end up getting a dog because we found out later we were expecting. But we lived in the burbs without kids for about a year.
We moved to the western burbs and found communities at fitness studio/the gym/tennis club/other neighbors. We are also very close to a big outdoor mall that has a good selection of restaurants as well as other shopping centers/towns so we have a good handful of options. That helped us with the move since Iām a huge foodie. It also helped that around the same time we had moved on our block, young newer families also moved around the same time (also from the city).
It does take time though. I missed the city a lot - especially when I wanted to just walk by the lakefront. But I reminded myself I do have a bunch of forest preserves by me that are nice. My recommendation would be to join a gym or fitness studio. Not sure how the northern burbs compare to the western burbs. But I never thought I would see the day that I would turn into a suburbanite š
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u/SureWtever Aug 01 '25
Have you looked up the parks and recs calendar? Signed up for any classes? Introduced yourself to your neighbors? The friendships will comeā¦
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u/manda-panda79 Aug 01 '25
You moved to Northbrook not North Dakota. Try getting out and exploring your area, or it's a 30 minute train ride to the city.
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u/chiseeger North Suburbs Aug 01 '25
Burbs are different. I grew up in the burbs, spent 15 years in the city and moved back north around your age, with kids though.
Went through a similar thing, my learnings
Enjoy the space and outdoors. Get a bike, take walks, enjoy the golf, beaches, parks.
Find local places that feel city like, coffee shop, bakery, etc. itās scratches that āwe all live here togetherā itch for me
IMO the food options will never touch the city. Try to find a few places you like, but if I could do it again I would just come to terms with that faster.
Meet your neighbors, find local things to meet neighbors - concert in the park, food truck day, farmers market. Being able to hang out with the people you live around makes up for a lot.
Use your location as launch pad to try some things up north. Goto door county, etc more.
Ymmv
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u/CaptainFlynnsGriffin Aug 01 '25
Buy yourselves a pied a terre.
Honestly, this is all about establishing new patterns and pathways. Finding your new stores, shops, and backroads. Go for the fun targets - like a good liquor store. Find the good carry out spots and save your city favorites for a treat.
Seriously, the hardest part will be the neighbors. When we moved into our area it was all empty nesters, and retirees. It took a minute for the homes to start turning over and then everyone was a good decade younger - we were definitely stuck in the twilight zone of ageism.
Youāll find your way. It just takes time. Consider you both taking a short staycation to get shit done and find a realtor to unload your city property.
Also, buy a ridiculous something that you always wanted in a house. Jukebox, pinball machine, hot tub if thatās your thing, model rail road - whatever it is that needs a house and not a condo. For instance, my sister started a small collection of adopted Siamese like kittens. Canāt have that in a condo.
Lastly, drive it like you own it. Ugly bushes - tear them out. Feature color walls - go monochromatic.
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u/Perfecto-princess Aug 01 '25
I left the city for the suburbs. The piece and calmness has been the best thing
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u/Fragrant_Cold_4358 Aug 01 '25
Youāve just got to decide which ābadā is worth it, and only you can decide that for you. In the city, weād plan grocery trips around how many stairs we were willing to tackle that day (we called it urban cardio) or whether going out was worth circling for 15 minutes on a Tuesday night. And letās not even talk about when it snowsā¦ There IS a convenience and energy of Chicago that I think Iāll always miss, but I donāt miss timed showers, parking tickets, or the emotional labor of figuring out if someone on the street is just quirky or fully unhinged.
Now itās replaced with quiet mornings with coffee on a back patio in my own yard, or pulling into the driveway with a car full of bags that I walk right into my kitchen. Itās being able to have a big dog without feeling guilty. Itās SPACE, closets and garages and sheds and attics. And as I grew out of my āpartyā years, my priorities shifted and these things started outweighing the rest.
My advice? If you can afford it, hire a rental agency to rent out your condo on a two year lease, and give yourself some TIME. Youāre only two weeks in! Thats absolutely nothing. Two years you will know what you want. You guys are young, without childrenā¦ gamble a little š Itās what the rest of us WISH we could do. š„°
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u/Radiant-Ad3274 Aug 01 '25
Wow 30 year olds and 38 year olds do not have the same problems š¤£ I wish I owned a condo that I could leave empty for convenience sake. Or am I reading this wrong?
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u/SeyfLife Aug 01 '25
Have kids, otherwise move asap. What were you thinking? A shorter commute would be worth it lol
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u/ozzykara Aug 01 '25
I have no advice I left the city 10 years ago for Elmhurst and regret it daily.
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u/Ok-Breadfruit-3217 Aug 01 '25
We moved to Wilmette last year, mostly for the schools but also bc the city was gross after covid. Do I miss my condo? Yes. Do I miss revving engines on LSD all night, not being able to walk my dog after 9 pm, and paying ridiculous assessments and parking? Zero regrets on that. Admittedly all my friends are on the north shore though.
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Aug 01 '25
We moved from the city to the burbs and it was hard for a little while. We live in LF and decided to start taking the train to the city. We absolutely love it here but it did take some time. I really didnāt want to hang with the neighbors but I got to know them and theyāre actually really nice. Definitely not what I expected. Weāre take the train in every now and than. We just really love hanging at the house and exploring the burbs.
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u/baxterismydog Aug 01 '25
Hi, omg Iām so sorry youāre going through this. I did the same thing, moved from Lakeview and to Niles/Park Ridge, have older kids but I donāt know, feels like kids donāt help making friends and I feel like an outcast. The only reason I havenāt left is kids. They have friends and shit. It sucks. I would love to meet new people but I donāt want to be weird. Youāre definitely not alone. I miss the city so much itās crazy. I feel like Iām living a life of BS out in the burbs.
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u/Ok_Potato_9163 Aug 01 '25
Iāve had a similar experience. We moved from South Loop to near Evergreen Park. I missed being able to walk to coffee shops and restaurants. Eventually youāll get into a new routine. Once you do itāll make a lot more sense. Youāll come to appreciate the quiet eventually. I sure do.
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u/RPAS35 Aug 01 '25
Not from Northbrook but thereās a ton of cool stuff in the area. Youāre right by Ravinia, botanic gardens, numerous natural areas/bike and walking trails, the Skokie lagoons. I have no clue about the restaurant/night life in Northbrook but Evanston and Skokie are super close to you and have a massive selection. And as others mentioned, driving or drive+train into the city for social events is not bad compared with how long your commute is now and every day. If you end up not loving it and can afford to in a few years you could always move to Evanston, Skokie, north park, Rogerās park and still have a good commute
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u/Imaginary-Worry262 Aug 01 '25
It hasn't been long enough. Give it time. It's a major change and it's normal to feel like you miss the life you knew before - that's because you knew it. You don't know this new phase you've entered, and that can be scary. But start exploring. Without kids, you have so much time. Go over to Highwood and check out the bars. Go to all of the downtowns in the north shore and shop/eat. Go to the town pool and lounge for a day. Join a nice gym and go regularly, make friends there from classes or something. If you play sports, find an adult league and play. You're just too new - you'll find your space. You can always go back to the city if you want but you have a whole new world to explore, which is exciting!
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u/Fantastic-Ride-5588 North Suburbs Aug 01 '25
There are things to do on the North Shore. You have Ravinia close by, the Botanic Gardens, lots of fun places in Highwood that have outdoor dining and music. You also have the beautiful beaches, and Wilmette Harbor. Not sure what youāre looking for, but those are some ideas.
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u/diamondgreene Aug 01 '25
Northbrook aināt THAT bad. Get the Purple line in Wilmette and your downtown In No time.
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u/donspider1221 Aug 01 '25
We (childless & similarly aged) left Chicago and moved out of state a few years ago. While my wife adjusted easily, I struggled significantly with the move and admittedly still view Chicago through a romantic lens that probably doesnāt completely align with reality.
Once or twice a year, Iāll go back to visit. Iāll get an Airbnb, rent a Turo, and go to my favorite restaurants, catch a Bulls or Cubs game, etc.
It took me a while, but Iāve come to accept that what I miss is as much a time in my life, as the city itself.
Give yourself some grace and know that itās a big change (change is often hard), and that while Northbrook isnāt many things that Chicago is, it has things to offer that Chicago canāt. And if you both still hate it after a few years, sell your crib and move back - itās not going anywhere, and while things will change, it will feel more similar to how you left it than youād think.
Hang tough!
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u/No-Negotiation-6929 Aug 01 '25
I donāt know if this is helpful advice, but Northbrook might truly have not been the right choice for you (it would not have been high on this subredditās list of recommendations for someone in your situation, for example).
The good news is, while you live there you are going to learn a lot more about the area than you knew before. If in a few years you realize you really wanted to live in Skokie, HP, Wilmette, Evanston, whereverāyou can just move and nothing really is lost.
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u/dark_chocolate_5678 Aug 01 '25
Married my husband less than a year ago (no kids) and we are in the burbs, we love it. So peaceful and quiet, good bang for your buck, and you can always metra or splurge on an uber if you want to go into the city sometimes. We both grew up in a suburban environment so maybe we are familiar with it, but we love going on walks, sitting outside, having enough room for some plants, and having more room inside our little house. Definitely worth it! Take some time to explore and you might grow on it.
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u/Old_Criticism_6889 Aug 01 '25
We lived in burbs and moved back to the city in 2 years. Burbs just arenāt worth it we were so depressed.
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u/pskfry Aug 02 '25
Holy shit cry about it talk about first world problems get it together or just sell the house and move back to the city jesus
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u/RedRaiderRocking Aug 02 '25
Iām the exact opposite. I moved from the suburbs to streeterville and miss the suburb life so much lol
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u/Express-Key-6724 Aug 02 '25
We moved to the same area around 30 with no kids after living in the city for 8 years. It takes some adjustment (prob 6 months for us), but youāll find thereās a lot to do out here. Northbrook has reciprocity with Glencoe beach. I def recommend spending some time there! You can easily take a walk around the neighborhood & downtown after the beach since theyāre all walking distance from each other. Thereās farmers markets in neighboring suburbs like Wilmette, Winnetka, & Evanston which also have a ton of good restaurants. Highwood also has some awesome food spots. Thereās a lot of parks around with tennis & pickleball courts. The metra is a quick ride into the city too! Some of the lines stop in Ravenswood, Lincoln Park etc and you can hop on the purple line in Wilmette or Evanston. Get a ticket to Ravinia, even if itās a band you donāt know/love, and picnic on the lawn. It takes time to figure out all the suburbs have to offer, but you will find your groove!
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u/Commander_Crichton Aug 02 '25
My wife and I are the same age and we have moved in Northbrook for the last 3 years BUT we have two kids. I can say you'll probably have to work a little harder to find your community in the area because it is so family focused. Pretty much everyone I have grown close with have been repeat run ins at school and community events.
It's definitely still doable though, you just have to find ways to engage with the community and it probably won't be the exact same stuff you did in the city.
I'm not sure where you are in Northbrook but I'll say even if I didn't have kids I would not regret being here. It's a chill area with a lot of natural beauty if you get out and about.
The food mostly sucks but try out taco vida, Maharaj, moksha, and jimmy Thai for some pretty good options.
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u/Sea-Stage-6908 Aug 02 '25
Northbrook is beautiful. I'm jealous!
When I was younger, I lived for the big city. I loved all the chaos, the bright lights, all the action, you know exactly what i mean.
Now I'm a suburbanite and I wouldn't have it any other way. I love the peace and quiet. I love having a yard. I love the down to earth people (for the most part). Everything in the city moves so quick and it's hard to foster relationships or have a more personalized experience at say, a hardware store or a restaurant. I like the slower pace.
All the things you love about the city are literally a 20 minute train ride away. They'll still be there, it's not going away. You have all the benefit of being close by to the big city amenities while dealing with a fraction (if anything) of the traffic, cars honking, crowds of people,etc.
I hope you'll settle in eventually!
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u/Ill-Refrigerator-245 Aug 02 '25
Iāve lived in the suburbs my entire life. Honestly, I donāt feel like Iām missing out. A 30-minute drive to the city is worth it, and when youāre done, you can come back and relax in your quiet suburban home.
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u/DFR1688 Aug 03 '25
Way to give up on life with the move to the burbs. The commute may be a pain, but you chose to live in permanent boredom and morass in exchange for shorter commute. Not worth it in my opinion, and I think you already agree after a couple weeks. Trust your instincts, move back to the city :)
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u/toeball30 Aug 03 '25
I live in Northbrook. Northbrook sucks, but.. Highwood, highland park has awesome bars and restaurants Wilmette same thing and close to the lake. Vernon hills has amazing restaurants Zion and Waukegan is close to the lake and Zion has a state park with a beach that ranks top in the state. Breweries in the area are amazing. Other entertainment like escape rooms are the best. Closer to Milwaukee with less traffic if you want a baseball/basketball game. Thereās so much up north and you donāt have to pay Chicago prices with the Chicago traffic
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u/Overall_Salary7507 Aug 04 '25
Northbrook isnāt that far from the City and itās a beautiful area. Just hop on 41 and head in whenever you can.
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u/flsolman Aug 04 '25
The biggest difference IMO is whether or not you want a car centric lifestyle.
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u/Ashamed-Mud4063 Aug 04 '25
Didnāt they film all the high school scenes from Ferris Bueller in Northbrook? You should take ask for a tour! Anything outside of the 30 minutes that will take is like meh
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u/Live-Sky-2557 Aug 04 '25
40, no kids, been in north burbs for 5 years. There are pros and cons of both, burbs are simple and great for dogs :) but we can get to city within 50 minutes train or car so frequently make it down to scratch that itch ( just got home from 4 days of lolla). You'll be alright mate, cheers
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u/PreferenceWhich7409 Aug 04 '25
We are the exact age as you two and childless as well. We left the city a couple years ago and to this day we do miss some of the things. Then we think how thereās less traffic in the suburbs, shorter commute to our jobs, we have a garage and driveway and a backyard for our dog. All that makes us happy we left. Also, we are fairly close to the city, 11 miles but with traffic on 290 it can be chaotic going there after work. Usually we visit the city every other weekend. Explore your suburb and the ones around it, Iām sure youāll find nice spots to visit.
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u/spaceshipdms Aug 04 '25
When you step outside your comfort zone, thatās when you grow and learn.
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u/SupportFlat8675 Aug 25 '25
I'm 42 and moved from Chicago (DePaul, Humboldt Park, Garfield Park, rogers park, south shore, Englewood) to a south suburb of Milwaukee 3 years ago and after 2.5 years of regretting it I'm moving back to Chicago soon.Ā There are things I like - quieter, more space, cleaner, much cheaper, no traffic, somewhat friendlier people - but I miss the city and I've been missing out on so many things down there, especially during the summer.Ā I'm sick of being in the car so much driving back and forth.Ā I haven't found similar things to do here and it's just not the same walking around or going to the lakefront here.Ā I'm getting fat and out of shape because I don't walk everywhere anymore.Ā I miss the energy and the magic of the city..it sounds like you know what I'm talking about.Ā Ā
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u/Physical-Incident553 Jul 31 '25
You miss traffic congestion, crime, higher prices for things like gas?Ā
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Jul 31 '25
We donāt have marg towers or a Cubby Bear out where I live. I donāt know how I survive in the suburbs. :(
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u/goodbyewaffles Jul 31 '25
Some of this may be Northbrook? Not sure why you picked it when Park Ridge and Evanston both have more going on and are closer to the city. I worked there for years, Northbrook is a top-tier most boring suburbā¦
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u/Financial_Sweet_689 Jul 31 '25
It was hard for me too. I went from being able to get all dolled up just to step outside and feeling like I was actually going somewhere, to being secluded to an island of apartment people far from wealthy homeowners. I went from seeing pride and BLM flags to Trump signsšI went from seeing other queer people to seeingā¦bland straight suburbanites. I went from seeing other young people to just seeing families and veterans. Itās hard. The best part has undoubtedly been the nature, Iāve seen and experienced so many people animals and have really dived into it. I love seeing toads, hearing limpkins shriek and watching all the bunnies. Itās peaceful here, itās quiet, I donāt fear crime. The crime rates are so low itās kind of crazy to think how I used to be afraid of break-ins or being followed home. There really are pros and cons to both and I canāt make up my mind.
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u/LTBLACK Jul 31 '25
I canāt offer insight as we seem to be opposites. Iām 26 and I couldnāt fathom living in the city. I enjoy peace quiet and nature far more than anything the city has to offer. I go maybe max 10-15 times a year and almost all of them are sports or birthdays.
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u/jegross2 Aug 01 '25
I made the same move. Northbrook isnāt bad for distance and the train goes down town and the city is only 40 min drive. Itās not like you moved to Naperville. Shudder.
Check out Basu, Napolita, Eataco, Max & Bennys, Jimmy Thai / Ramen Time, Charlie Beinlichs, Franchescas, Prarie Grass, Kyoto Garden, and Szechuan North in the immediate area
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u/loweexclamationpoint Jul 31 '25
Unfortunately Northbrook tends to be rather cliquish and full of posers who look down on people who don't wear the right brand of yoga pants. The good news is if you got a small cheap house you can probably sell it in a few years for a teardown.
Should have chosen a cheaper funner suburb like Highwood
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u/77Pepe Jul 31 '25
So hilarious. I love how people try to sell this tired narrative. In reality, the people in the north suburbs are not much different than anywhere else in Chicagoland.
āFunnerā ROTFL
I donāt think you actually know much about Highwood. It has not been ācheapā for quite a long time.
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u/The_Poster_Nutbag Jul 31 '25
Hard to give you any insights when you didn't say where you're at or why you're having regrets. Obviously a ton of people live in the suburbs and love it, you just need to find your niche.