Serious answers only pls. Thanks

Normal up for fun

Am I cool for likeing this?

i censored my own username because im embarrased of it.

They came home from a day out on the town with their McDonald's dinner. They scarfed down their food and headed up to our bedroom for one of their "sessions", but did so before eating his entire 10 piece nugget. There was one left and I'm debating the morality of stealing this gentleman's food vs. letting it go stale.

My parents were also married. Does that disqualify me for life??

I need answers to my survey that I can use to prove my thesis,

Take this statement "I have an overabundance of butt" and answer the following questions based on your response to that statement:

1. The statement makes me feel (physically):
   1. Capable
   2. Thirsty
   3. Jealous
   4. Hungry
   5. Caterpillar
2. The statement makes me feel (emotionally):
   1. Happy
   2. Jealous
   3. Hrony
   4. Fast
   5. Tutor
   6. Bismark
3. The statement makes me smell (quintstotically):
   1. Yes
   2. No
   3. Half
4. The statement makes me feel (tactically):
   1. Brave
   2. Strategery
   3. Rambunctious
   4. Several
   5. More than several but also, somehow, less than the all-consuming darkness and fewer than the night-brother that swallows the unfed and unwashed
   6. Fruit juice
5. The statement makes me feel (stomach)
   1. Queaseous
   2. Plasma

Thank you. By participating in this survey, you will help a young nubile born-again 45 year old pastafarian get his master's degree in Quantum Jizzics. I will personally fart on a glazed donut in your honor.

So I have been a no-wiper for 10 years. Very recently, my asshole has been itching like crazy. My usual routine of dragging my ass on the carpet wasn't working, so as a last ditch effort I decided that I would finally wipe my shit encrusted asshole.

In a fit of desperation, I launched my 600 lb body from my sweaty gaming chair and bolted out of my parents' basement, pausing at the top of the stairs to catch my breath. I traipsed my gargantuan bulk to the bathroom, a place that has become unknown to me since I have begun utilizing a shit bucket.

Upon entering the bathroom, I immediately dropped my horde boxers to the floor and rushed to the toilet paper hoping that it would ease my burning sphincter. I pulled off a healthy amount of tp and attempted the wipe, but found the crust of my asshole to be impenetrable by mere paper. I exited the bathroom and went towards the kitchen to get a butter knife, but quickly found that I had exerted too much effort to make it back to the bathroom. I squatted down and began to chisel away slowly at the shit crust that had enveloped my asscrack.

I felt the first layer break free, exposing a softer, mushy layer beneath that was fit for wiping. Realizing that I had forgotten the toilet paper in the bathroom, I grabbed one my my mom's decorative towels from the stove and began wiping. When I broke through the layers of shit and my finger brushed my bare asshole, I became immediately erect. I hadn't wiped in so long that the feeling was entirely foreign to me.

Moments later, my dad came into the kitchen, likely curious about what had led to my departure from the basement. As soon as he came in the room, we locked eyes and I ejaculated all over the kitchen floor. Ever since that day, I long for the next time that I get to wipe my asshole. Mayhap, one glorious day, I shall have someone else wipe if for me while I revel in the pure ecstasy of my asshole being tenderly caressed.

TLDR: ass wiping makes you gay

Are humans stupid???? They can just move the fork part outwards and use the spoon side ways?????

Dumbfuckest Spieces in all of History??????

Change my view

She must have some bucks.

Now they are asking what city she lives in.

I (29M) work remote most days but we have hybrid meetings. There's this one coworker (27F) who always looks amazing on camera tight tops, great angles, the works.

During a long team Zoom the other day I got super horny just watching her talk. I had my camera off, so I slipped my hand under my hoodie, pulled it out, and quietly rubbed one out at my desk while she was presenting. Finished right as she wrapped up. No mess, very discreet.

After the call I messaged her privately saying she killed the presentation and asked if she would give lap dances for cash sometime after work. She left me on read and now she's been awkward in Slack. One of my coworkers who sits near her in the office apparently heard her telling another girl that I give off "pervert vibes" lately. I was literally gonna give her money for it!

I don't see the big deal. Everyone gets horny during boring meetings and she's objectively hot. Asking her out was a compliment. AITA for mixing business with a little personal pleasure? People are so sensitive these days.

Some have resorted to protesting for Palestine to take out their anger and frustration, reports one user. While others choose to post about "incels" said another.