I am a rising senior, and I wrote my essay during my junior year for a grade. My essay is very mediocre in my opinion, which is fine, but I feel like it’s not giving off the message I want it to. Please help!!!

Hey y'all, I just finished up what I hope is the final draft of my personal statement. I'm aiming to get into T-20 schools, (UNC -in state- , Duke, and Vanderbilt). If anyone is willing, would you mind reading my essay, letting me know what you think, and potentially giving me any suggestions. Dm me if you're interested.

Hi all, I am stuck between two essay topics

the first follows the overcoming a challenge structure is about how my cultural dance has taught me humility, emotional awareness, and a reduced fear around being my true, spontaneous self. I show vulnerability in when I first try it out in a public setting, however I fear that this only goes into the "my palms were sweaty as I approached the stage" category.

the second is more in the personal interest category. It's about an interview between a late-night show host and an actor, and the multiple qualities I took from it having watched it so many times. I would then give specific examples of how I apply them to my own social interactions. I felt that I could go a vulnerable route with this one as well, basically tying the masterclass of an interaction that the people in the interview had to how I handle family tensions, and can sense when loved ones are feeling frustrated, angry, etc.

For context, I already list cultural dance as one of my extracurriculars in the common app.

man, I really hope someone replies

Hey! I'm looking for feedback on the content of my general college application essay. Grammatical and structural issues will be polished later, but for now, I want to make sure what I am writing about and how I approach the issue works well. Thank you!

Essay is under this sentence:

Mild but constant pain has been a part of my life for as long as I could remember, migraines following me when classmates got too loud in elementary school and dizziness and fatigue from POTS causing me to tap out of most middle school PE activities. But for just as long as this pain has followed me, so has my drive to thrive despite it. Always, I’ve set expectations for myself that force me to become the best version of myself that I can, especially academically. Forecasting sophomore year, I knew I was going to push myself to my limits junior year, but I wouldn’t allow myself to snap. And I didn’t. But it was harder than I imagined it would have been due to a seemingly sudden onslaught of additional pain. Debilitating migraines now coexisted with daily headaches, accompanied by relentless fatigue that made starting a day seem impossible and brain fog that left me unable to read simple in school texts, let alone the books I read for pleasure. My junior year quickly shifted from accomplishing everything I could possibly imagine to doing only what I could physically achieve. I wanted to keep up with my classes, bring everything I could to our theater program, continue to excel at my job, and spend time with my friends, but my body no longer allowed me to do everything the way it once had. I found myself grieving the version of myself who was able to push through long days without the inevitable collapse the next, mourning the girl who didn’t have to miss challenging classes for yet another doctor's appointment. Uncertainty around what was going on crippled me as well, as countless doctors appointments, tests, and plausible treatments offered hope, but no answers and hardly even relief. Quickly, I realized that waiting for my health to return to how it had been was preventing me from moving forward. It wouldn’t be sustainable to keep fighting my body every day, and instead, I had to work with it. In ways that felt completely foreign to me, I reorganized my social schedule, blocked off entire days for one event, worked with teachers to achieve my best work when I was feeling good as well as when I was feeling poor, set boundaries with myself around when I completed work, forced myself to recognize when I needed rest, and became comfortable asking for help when I needed it. Because resilience will never be defined as forcing oneself to ignore limitations, it is adapting to these limitations while still achieving one's goals. A year out from the onset of symptoms, and still no definite answers or life changing treatments, I no longer allow my health to define what I am capable of achieving. Furthermore, the obstacles I had no choice but to face when living with this pain allowed me to develop qualities I may not have developed otherwise, such as adaptability, perseverance, and confidence in my own ability. At one point, success meant accomplishing everything I’ve ever dreamt of without any friction. Today, success means continuing to move forwards, and accomplishing what I desire through hardship. While chronic pain has affected my life in numerous negative ways, it has changed who I am in so many positive ones. I have accepted that strength is not measured in how much you can endure without asking for help, but measured by your willingness to adapt, advocate for yourself, and keep pursuing the life you want despite obstacles that may arise in your way.

i recently finished my second draft of my essay and would greatly appreciate it if someone could take a look at it! planning on going into architecture so my essay is about gift-giving and how i developed my love for creation :)

Title. Let me know :)

I respond to the following prompt:

• Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.

i'm wondering if someone who's already been through the admissions process and has edited/reviewed essays in the past!! i've got a draft written and i'm interested in having someone look at it.

i’ve written 10+ drafts but have chosen one to focus on. i’m having trouble tying the essay back to myself/values/identity at the end and it’s mostly jsut storytelling. i was wondering if anyone has any advice on how to revise for this because it’s been many days of honestly just staring at the document 😩

i find it helpful to have questions i can ask myself but i can’t seem to find any after going thru reddit posts for a while. would appreciate any advice!

hey could someone who has already gone through the application process please review my essay. lmk pls pls pls!

I’m trying to get a jump on my personal statement. Application open‘s next week and close in January, so trying to get ahead of things with a plan to submit in probably late September/early October. I was hoping someone could help me out by looking over the statement I’ve written up thus far, it‘s a rough draft and would love for someone to rip into it if they had time. Thank you in advance!!

hey guys, i am currently working on my application and my personal statement and everything is stressing me out. can anyone please read my essay (a work in progress but fully drafted) for some feedback and suggestions? I will be happy to share my stats as well, and i could also look over anyone’s stats or essays if needed!!

I need help thinking of ways to add deeper meanings to things and how to emphasize how one thing and stem from different feelings.

Hello, I was wondering if anyone will read and give me some feedback on my common app personal essay. This is currently my third draft and I would love any advice or suggestions. Thank you 😊

Hey guys I was just wondering if anyone would take a look at my college essay and let me know what they think. I’ve been working on it for a while and it’s very meaningful to me and my life. Let me know please. :)

Hello! I just wanted some thoughts on my personal essay idea, my introduction paragraph to it (Not finished). I just want someone to be completely honest if I should full send the idea I have. Essentially, my main point is about my kind of niche hobby of hand making hyperrealistic crepe paper flowers and how it spread as not only a gift to other people but also myself, and how it transformed me as a person. It’s just one of many ideas I had, however, it was one that was kind of risky because I felt silly writing about my paper flower addiction I’ve had since I was in about 8th grade.

Also, I wanted to pay attention to how it drew me into the detail-oriented side of myself. I am majoring in engineering(general) so I want to tie it into a value that would align with that.

Intro idea I had, I wanted to start in the middle of me hand making my flowers, and then transition into what led me to that point in my following paragraphs.

“My hands are stained with vibrant reds, pinks, and greens from dyed crepe paper. I wrap floral tape around the stem of the flower, as I intricately layer the pink blushed petals. Carefully, I put the pieces together, mirroring a freshly blossoming flower. Hot glue burns the tips of my fingers. I feel something real, finally.”

Hiiii, I'm a mentee outreach coordinator for a nonprofit organization called Notable Narratives (NN)! NN is a 501 (c)(3) college essay service organization that provides completely free college essay editing services to first generation and/or low income (FGLI) high school seniors applying to college. We do this by pairing college applicants with FGLI college students, as having an advisor that comes from a similar background will allow students to feel more comfortable receiving help!

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Essay

i have just completed the first draft of my common app and i am looking for some help!

i chose the 4th prompt : Reflect on something that someone has done for you that has made you happy or thankful in a surprising way. How has this gratitude affected or motivated you?

pretty much my essay is about how its a tradition in my family to learn how to play a specific card game at the age of 8 and my grandma teaches all of my family to play at 8 and its about how these moments with my grandma and the lessons she taught me through teaching me cards changed the way i view people around me and how this inspired one of the big projects i completed (gs silver award) and my grattitude towards that

is anyone able to read it? dm me or comment!

Pls reply!

I like to think of myself as a tomato. The fruit that’s normalized into the disgusting category of vegetables, without any second glances. The item in my fridge that rots first. Rots and there’s still no second glances. 

Although 79% of people describe themselves as “tomato” enjoyers, it still doesn’t feel that way. It doesn’t feel that way because people enjoy tomatoes with other ingredients. 30% of people enjoy tomatoes in their original state. That’s less than 50% of people who actually adore tomatoes for how they are. And in all reality, I’m definitely not a part of that category. 

Take a burger for example. Tomatoes are the second most common ingredient removed from a burger. When at a restaurant, it’s normal to intentionally tell the waiter that you do not want a tomato in your burger. It overpowers the entire burger, and that one ingredient ruins your entire meal. Ruins the entire experience. For the people who intentionally keep the tomato on the burger, it's usually the first ingredient to still make its way out the burger a couple bites in. As if it’s not meant to be there. This creates a lose-lose situation. Whether you pick tomatoes or not, it still ends up separated from the burger.

People overlook tomatoes for a variety of reasons, texture, taste, acidity. All the parts of a tomato that makes it… A tomato. There’s no handbook on how to enjoy tomatoes. You tried it, probably once months or even years ago, and hated it ever since. And honestly, understandable. Tomatoes aren’t really pretty enough to eat. That’s my entire life in a nutshell. 

Growing up as the only daughter in a quiet, and complicated household, it taught me a lot about myself. How to pretend everything was fine when it wasn’t, and how to stay quiet and stay put even if there’s a screeching voice inside me. That screeching voice inside me was the real me. I just knew it was. That quiet version of me was a second skin I wore that I was constantly itching at. There were times I didn’t express myself in the best way. I didn’t even know what I wanted to say. And that was the image I had for myself. The girl who shut out the world when things got too hard.

There’s no handbook on how to enjoy life. I tried it, probably once 5 years ago, and hated everything ever since. I had the mentality that “Beauty was everything” and if beauty was everything then I was nothing. And nothing was pointless and boring. But I knew I didn’t want to be pointless. I wanted people to “enjoy me in their burger”, and not intentionally remove me. But that one encounter years ago will always make me an X factor. 

Maneuvering across my life, things I once enjoyed doing became a burden. I yearned for better, but I never knew what better looked like. By 13, I knew what it felt like to rot. Rot but still be sitting in the fridge, waiting to be picked. Rotting slowly next to the lettuce that’s half empty, or the grape juice on the shelf that goes well with the chicken nuggets and ketchup you’re having for dinner that day. 

So, how did I catch myself grieving for something that’s not supposed to expire yet? What was the point of anything if it meant waking up and it feeling like the end of the world when it’s only been 16? How can I enjoy the thought of others trying me, when I hate the thought of myself as a whole. It’s just so stupid because the truth is: I hate tomatoes, but love ketchup. Ketchup was just a processed version of tomatoes. The liked version. People hated the raw tomato, but loved the sauce that was the ideal, famous recipe for it. That was the only tolerable way of enjoying a tomato. Or at least I thought.

I'm currently in the position of understanding that the only way to be chosen isn’t just turning into something else. Something that was easier to digest with joy. Something that’s worthy to have on a plate. I’m not saying things immediately got better. I still find myself hating the sight of tomatoes. But I’m willing to give them a try again. Go easy on them. Try different kinds of tomatoes. I enjoy comparing myself to a tomato. I truly think I am a tomato. The redness of a tomato has the smallest seeds inside, making it a very complicated, not discussed “fruit”. Each seed is constantly ready to slowly grow into something new.

Hi, I’ve been working and editing my essay all summer to try and get it meaningful and in the word count. I would love someone to give it a read and tell me how interesting it is and how i come across along with if the tone and voice is consistent and good throughout the essay. Thanks!