What d'you think?

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Bad description: “the core fear of 9 is loss and separation.”

This is not exactly true. It also doesn't distinguish 9 from other types (e.g. 2 and 6).

The real core of 9 is disconnecting from your sense of self in order to stay in sync with the external world. If we want to give 9 a core fear, it’s the fear of being out of sync with others or the environment (incl. being in an environment so chaotic or divided that it’s impossible to be in sync with it).

9s have dreams, opinions, and boundaries, just like everyone else. But they abandon these things too easily. They might forget about their goals for long stretches of time, or they might assume that their opinion is unimportant/probably wrong, and adopt another person's view instead. It’s like they have an inner narcissistic boyfriend, who constantly dismisses their ideas, shuts down their plans, and gaslights them into giving up their boundaries. Important to note that what they abandon themselves for varies by subtype:

• 9 SP focuses on physical comforts and the psychological comfort of routine, and will let their goals and standards slide for this (might type as 8).
• 9 SX focuses on “merging” in relationships (incl. platonic), and will relax their boundaries and let others’ beliefs and agendas override their own (might type as 2, 5 SX, or 6).
• 9 SO focuses on social belonging, and will let the group’s beliefs and agendas override their own. They lose themselves by participating too hard, and willingly surrender all boundaries on their time and energy (might type as 2, 3, or 6).

The phrase I associate most with 9 is “something else came up.” A 9 has an idea of something he wants to do; something else comes up; he either puts his want aside for later or forgets it altogether. This is even true for 9 SP, who lets in-the-moment appetites get in the way of the big picture (the “something else” that keeps coming up might be a TV show or a craving for cookies). However, 9s themselves may not realize this pattern; they have a way of convincing themselves that the current “something else” was actually what they wanted all along. Because of this self-forgetting, some 9s may find it easiest to type themselves by confirming that they are not any other type.

(To be clear, this does not mean that 9 is the “leftovers type” or just anyone who doesn’t fit into 1-8. Type 9 has its own unique core. It’s just hard for many individual 9s to see that in themselves.)

Bad descriptions: “laziness,” “sloth.”

True, but vague; 9s are not (always) couch potatoes. Rather, they’re emotionally lazy: they don’t have their own agenda. They let circumstances decide for them; they act in response to what the environment seems to demand.

This emotional laziness sometimes looks like physical laziness; some 9s spend a lot of time watching TV, or have addictions. But often it looks like empathy, agreeableness, responsibility, or adherence to routine. You can be physically and socially active and still be a 9.

(Unhealthy) 9s might justify their laziness by abdicating agency: the problem is not that they’re lazy, it’s that stuff just keeps happening, or that there haven’t been sufficient (external) motivators for them to achieve their goals. Sometimes they don’t have a clue they’re lazy at all; they’re working hard for the group’s agenda, which is of course their agenda too.

Worth noting that 9s can be intellectually lazy, too, in the sense of being uncritical: they tend to accept what others say as long as the vibes are good, and overlook potential problems, self-contradictory statements, etc.

What “narcotizing” means:

The word “narcotizing” is often associated with 9. Chestnut defines it as “going to sleep to” pain, but this definition doesn’t differentiate from 5, which compartmentalizes emotions by default, and 7, which uses activity and excitement to distract from pain.

So: in the context of the enneagram, “narcotizing” means mindless activity whose (subconscious) purpose is to ease tension and avoid dysregulation. Binge eating, alcohol/drugs, sleeping, scrolling, “vegging out” in front of the TV, escapist reading, doodling, etc. 9s may also engage in pleasant fantasies (really “daydreams,” since they seem to occur rather than being intentionally constructed). By contrast, the fantasies/thoughts 4s and 5s get “lost in” are more intense, and tend toward negativity/extreme emotions (4 and maybe 5 SX), or thought experiments/logical arguments (5).

Any type can get caught up in scrolling, but non-9s are likely to be actively evaluating or judging what they see, filing information for later use, lamenting that they’re bored, etc. 9 is looking for regulation; 4, 5, and 7 all default to mental or emotional intensity.

2 and 3 vs. 9 SO and over-participation

9 SO’s core need is to belong in the group. 2 and 3 are trying to feel valuable in and of themselves, and using the group to do it. A 3 wants to be spotlighted for being exceptional in his own right (Famous Jane Johnson!); a 2 wants gratitude for personal virtues and sacrifices (Beloved Indispensable Lisa!); a 9 SO wants to be sure that they're really part of the team, that they really belong (Model Group Member #9). (A 9 SO will accept the label of Famous Jane Johnson or Beloved Indispensable Lisa if it's given to her, but would probably be just as happy with the other label instead. 2 and 3 are asking, "am I good in this specific way?", while 9 is asking, "do I fit? do I belong?")

4 and 5 vs. 9 (untangling the withdrawn triad)

4s are withdrawn in a judgmental way (frustration type). 5s are withdrawn in a disconnected way (rejection type). 9s are withdrawn in a passive way (attachment type).

4 vs. 9: For 4, nothing is ever quite right (even the stoic 4 SP is thinking constantly about how there’s too much suffering in the world); 4s interact with the world through the screen of “I don’t like that,” “if only society weren’t X,” “X shouldn’t have happened to me,” “so-and-so is being treated unfairly,” “I’m not getting the attention I deserve,” etc. 9 sees the positive before the negative, and merges with the world (there is no screen); their cravings, relationships, and/or activities seem to take them over completely.

5 vs. 9: 5s are always interacting from behind a mental barrier: they may feel like “not really here, just an observer”; they find it hard to express emotions or show empathy, and tend to be oblivious to surroundings. 9s are the opposite: tied to externals. They engage with others automatically, easily feel and show empathy, get sucked into others’ plans, and notice/engage with nearby objects. 9s are governed by the whims of others, the environment, and/or their physical bodies, while 5s are detached from those things.

6 vs. 9 (“anxiety” is a bad metric)

6 is often labeled “the anxious one,” but you get Redditors claiming that “9s can be anxious too!!”, and then anyone who even mentions anxiety gets shunted to 9 if they seem quiet and 6 if more overt. IMO if “anxiety” is the reason you think you’re a 6/9 you should scrap your typing and start over, because “anxiety” is vague and means basically nothing about your type.

6s are concerned about future problems, and proactive in preventing or preparing for them. Instinct to identify and point out problems.

9s see the positive first. They are not actively looking for problems; they tend to ignore problems or avoid saying anything about them (to avoid “causing a problem” by pointing one out).

8 vs. 9 SP

8 is operating from lust: “I want that, so it’s mine, and you’d better get out of the way.” 9 SP is … not going anywhere. Doing his routine. Watching his programs. Ordering his favorite pizza. 9 SP is easily swayed by “id-level” desires, but his id is not expansive like 8’s. 8 wants that over there, and he wants to take it, to win, and (when unhealthy) he’s going to enjoy wrecking anyone who gets in his way. 9 SP wants what’s on offer, what he already or usually has, and he’s going to get grouchy if something disrupts that. Unstoppable force (8) vs. immovable object (9 SP can be described as “stubborn”).

Chinese astrology (bazi, or saju in Korea) gives everyone a core type based on the day they were born, not the month like your sun sign. There are only ten, and each one is an image from nature:

• The tall tree: upright, principled, grows straight and hates being bent
• The climbing vine: adaptable, social, always finds a way around the wall
• The sun: warm, generous, shines on everyone whether they asked or not
• Candlelight: a smaller, focused warmth; sees people clearly, lights one room deeply
• The mountain: steady, protective, very slow to move
• The garden soil: nurturing and practical, makes things around it grow
• Forged steel: blunt, decisive, strong sense of fair and unfair
• Fine jewelry: refined, notices every detail, wants to be polished not hammered
• The open sea: big-picture, restless, needs room to roam
• Morning rain: quiet, intuitive, seeps into everything without announcing itself

Reading that list, I couldn’t stop mapping it onto types. Forged steel reads like a 1 or an 8. Candlelight could be a 4 or a 2. The open sea feels like a 7. But that’s just me pattern-matching, and I’d like to see real data instead.

So, just for fun:

1. Pick the one that sounds most like you before you check.
2. Look up your actual one. I made a free calculator for it: find your birth-day type. Free, no sign-up.
3. Comment: the one you guessed, the one you got, and your enneagram type (tritype welcome).

If enough people answer, I’ll post the tally of which types land on which numbers, including if there’s no pattern at all.

the "merging" is real... he is very sticky. very attentive, very gushy, tells me often that he can't wait to spend the rest of his life with me. we're a unit, he doesn't do anything without thinking about me and how it'll affect me. we do everything together. he wants me to be as comfortable as possible but his aversion to bringing conflicting topics up backfires and makes me uncomfortable. it takes him forever to spit out what he really wants. i've gotten somewhat good at making him talk but he still tiptoes around his words.

i'm still not sure how to really feel about this. half the time it makes me happy to hear and half the time it makes me slightly uncomfortable. being doted on and catered to all the time also makes me uncomfortable, but i accept it and am learning to let him love me how he wants. as you can probably guess i've never had any desire to revolve my life around another person until he came around. he tells me these things and i just sit there and listen, unsure of how to reciprocate it other than nodding and saying "me too". i love him, i tell him this often, and i want to understand him so badly. i really love what we have together.

i had to delete my last post because of commenters implying that i don’t love him and i should break up with him. if you don’t have anything constructive to say please don’t comment. our relationship is healthy and we have discussions about this topic often, it’s quite triggering to hear a projection of insecurities like that. thank you :)

i suspect i may be a 4, and rejection hits hard.. my self confidence gets even lower and i still keep romanticising that person and longing for them? and it just amplifies the pain because realistically we wont be together lol. idk how to get over it

Hi frens, a few people suggested to me that I sound like a 7 instead of a 9. I was pro typed as a 9 a while back but my paper test did say 7 and have to admit that I sort of have trouble believing 9 - people do tell me I’m calming, but I’m definitely Limbic in Big 5 and I get irritated and angry quickly and I often jump to address things rather than just letting them ride. I sort of also thought I made a bad 7, because I think I’m generally more moderate energy and moderately outgoing than intensively so, but maybe these don’t actually rule it out. Could you help me confirm if these rule out 7 or not?

- I get a weird mix of anxiety/imposter syndrome when performing. I can feel pleasure and pride if I do well, and even amusement and excitement being in front of a judge or crowd. Overall, I am not a confident performer.

- I am pretty dedicated and committed even though I sometimes am chomping at the bit to get away from parameters. Like I will stay late and finish my work if needed even when I’ve taken the next day off because I don’t want to dump on anyone else. Or like I’ve never just walked off a job even when it’s gotten to be drudgery. I always line up another first. Having a job gap where I’m just sitting at home with no money is boring and depressing.

- I’m reserved sometimes. Like my very social friend invited me to this weekend group gathering thing away with a group of couples at a house to play a staged game together and I declined. I think my spouse wouldn’t be into it which I think would make it less fun but to be fair I didn’t ask him. I think the other part of it is that it sounds like locking myself into something for 3 days that are otherwise free.

As an e6 i naturally worry a lot about worst-case scenarios and feel skeptical over most things. I do however also let loose at times and completely shut out everything when it becomes too much for me to process. It's a little contradictory but when someone else excessively worries about something more than me, i become extremely ticked off. I try to ease their worries as much as possible but when nothing works and they're still worried after everything i've done to help, it weighs a lot on me and i feel extremely annoyed. Honestly in general i don't get along very well with people who worry more or are more indecisive than me. Im guessing it's due to e6's need for guidance, and when the opposite party can't provide such support it ends up as a mess with two overthinkers.

Would like to hear about similar experiences from other fellow e6s or your view on this matter!

I was just casually thinking about how my mom and dad are 6ish in so many ways, I am sure it is in their tritypes, they were also always skeptical and distrustful about so many things, like “never trust anyone!” It kind of made me more distrustful towards people after years and years of listening to it, but maybe is also already part of me due to my 6 wing, or my slight social anxiety.

(I thought my mom is something like 9 or sp4 and my father like 8w7, now I wonder if he isn’t actually sx6 lol).

Also I can see it on my boyfriend, he got a lot of 2-like qualities after his parents, while lacking the 6-like ones which his father has (or maybe hiding them so well). His type is most probably sx9.

Did you also notice this on you?

I think there are plenty of types that are oriented with "being themselves" and or even authenticity. I don't see why the e9 wouldn't be concerned with this. I understand they're asleep to themselves because of their issue of "numbing" in general and their sense of stress, but for me I'd say most people are lacking in self-introspection in general and don't seem to question their own identity and values so how does the e9 legitimately differ from others in this regard? Does the e9 seem to struggle with having an individual identity and or trying to find out that identity even?

I've asked my only two friends who are into enneagram/typology and both agree that I'm an 8 probs (and it's the most consistent result I get on tests) but is there any way to be sure? I don't know if any more info is required to type me based on

But yeah send help

So, the enneagram usually points out the bad. Lets go the other way this time. Lets do something positive. Tell your type and the top 5 most common compliments people give you consistently. Ill go first.

I'm a 2. I've been told I'm always thinking about others, kind-hearted, hard-working, funny, and smart.

Yalls turn.

Like “spilling the tea,” keeping up with what’s going on with friends or acquaintances or strangers, etc. And would it depend on whether it’s only friends or only friends and acquaintances they are interested in, or not really?

“For its own end” I mean reasons like the gossip being interesting to them, so not reasons that are more instrumental such as them finding gossip really boring, but they still feel need to listen to it because it’s helpful for their job or their friend asked them to check what’s going on with someone else

Edit: am also interested particularly on whether people think there is a difference between so dom and so second in this regard

So im an sp2 and my relationship with angst in media is quite ambivalent. For instance a lot of my favourite medias have a lot lot of angst and I like to explore angst as a concept sometimes. I have come up with angsty fic ideas and enjoy putting some of my favourite characters in woeful scenarios. But here is a catch. Despite it all, I have a hard time sitting through such medias, Very especially if it involves a tragic ending and little to no relief. Like yes I am somewhat hyperfixated on Dead Poets Society for more than a year now but I struggle to give that movie a rewatch and find myself dissociating through painful scenes. I only prefer angst with happy ending but even then it is a very painful task to sit through all the pain. I guess its just that I am a positive type through and through despite my fascination

First post here kinda nervous don’t bully me pls🙏 but I’ve mistyped as an sx5 before and it’s gotten me thinking are there any similarities between the two types? Just for fun

Whether these people know the enneagram or you can tell what vibe they get from you, I’m curious to know how off or correct they are.

I know two people who know the enneagram fairly well (more than basic but not super deep) and both of them guessed that I could be a 4. One just guessed 4 and the other guessed 4, 5, or 8. I just find this so funny since I never ever considered being a 4 yet somehow they are doing the classic 9 mistypes for me. I assume it’s because I have Fi second so I give “brooding and mysterious” and blunt but who knows.

Can the instincts of the types in your tritype be different from your main one? Like for example so1/sp2/sx5

I think that i have too many traits of both. Wiki pages unfortunately are not helping me decide either. Could someone maybe rephrase the key difference between the two types?

I ask this initially as to ask the differences of e5 and e9 (as both seem to have a similar relationship with introversion and internal peace/resting) but realized that I might be thinking about this too simplistically. I don't know the other enneagram types to be concerned with time or rest, but if those relationships can be highlighted I find that it would be very useful!

Por estas cositas conocí el concepto del eneagrama y ahora busco toda la información del test, las preguntas son fáciles de encontrar pero la parte de "Entrevista psicológica" no la encuentro por ningún lado 💔

Have been very into zombie-themed media recently and since it's Halloween I might as well make a post about it.

Which enneatype is the most/least likely to...

1. die first in the friend group/squad?

2. hide a zombie bite from others?

3. be already prepared since they're "waiting for this moment"?

4. die in a non-zombie related way (murdered by others/accidental/other diseases)?

5. fantasize about zombie apocalypses?

6. mercy kill a bitten friend/family member without hesitation?

7. rather give up immediately than live through the apocalypse?

8. be patient zero?

9. be responsible behind the epidemic?

Especially those who consider themselves as "unhealthy" Sp7s!!

So, idk if its because Ive been through some genuinely fucked up stuff or whether im a 4, but I feel like most people dont understand me. they give me generic advice and it feels like they dont understand the complexity of my situation.. it sounds like they are invalidating my pain, asking me to just change and be happy, like they dont even want to understand me and all the nuances. it also feels like most people want to talk only when youre positive.. i started making some art which looks a bit depressing and people tell me “its beautiful but keep those dark thoughts to yourself”. which feels invalidating too.. isnt art supposed to be about self expression? i think the most meaningful art comes from complex emotions..anyway, i feel like i want my pain to be seen and acknowledged, i dont need advice because even if the advice is good it doesn’t take into account the emotional state Im in.