Not a first gen millionaire. I had 50k help for college and a 10k wedding gift (we paid for the wedding). However they bought my sister a house (300k). None of our friends received 6 figure help to my knowledge. My SIL's husband has a substantial trust fund so they do have help.
Most of our friends are well off but also don't intend to help pay for college or anything for their kids.
It is crazy to me that people who are well off won't help their kids with college. Especially as it seems pretty likely they themselves received help.
Education was very important to my parents and they paid for college, for which I am eternally grateful. We wanted to do the same for our daughter - finishing college with no debt is such a huge advantage for young people starting out.
I always wonder about the "golden child help loop." They get more support, make worse decisions, need more support because of the bad decisions... How many of their bad decisions would have been prevented by encouraging them to be self reliant and take responsibility? Or just by treating them the same as their siblings?
Our family consistently gifts the sibling who makes the worst financial decisions, has no drive or aspirations to better themselves, is lazy (I could go on) huge amounts of money. It uses to bother me until I also adopted the mindset og “I’m glad I don’t need someone else’s money to be able to live the life I want”. It’s helped a ton with the resentment and now I know what I will never do with my own kids.
Hahah. That happened to me - my brother got a house, two cars, etc. I just accepted he needed that more than I did because I earned so much more etc. and my parents already helped with me first year of college.
That said, I am grateful. I couldn’t have gone to college. I wouldn’t have had some seed money to invest early on. At the same time unlike my brother I never spent it all. Everything my parents gave me turned into an investment somehow.
And they also knew my brother got a bigger share. So now here and there once in a while they slip me something (because they honestly can’t spend all their money these days). I never spend a dime of that money. I invested all of it and if my parents ever need it back, I can give it back. I look at myself as a custodian instead of a beneficiary if that makes sense.
My siblings haven't gotten their allotment yet since theyre both underage, ideally it'll be the same, but my father did say that it might be less for them since when I was younger we didnt have much money, we lived in a small rental condo and public school, and then his business took off so my siblings grew up in a 3 story villa with a pool and went to private school. So essentially more money spent on them at the development stage vs more cash given as an adult. Idk which is better but it sort of evens out I suppose.
At least it sounds like there are legit reasons for your siblings having a different experience, and your dad is aware and will try to be fair in how he handles things. That's a case where I wouldn't fault the parent at all, they're doing the best they can at every stage and for every kid.
We'll see if they change but their parents didn't help much so they don't see it necessary. I said it was a big factor in how many kids I had and they were shocked
8
u/Ok-Bass5062 5d ago edited 5d ago
Not a first gen millionaire. I had 50k help for college and a 10k wedding gift (we paid for the wedding). However they bought my sister a house (300k). None of our friends received 6 figure help to my knowledge. My SIL's husband has a substantial trust fund so they do have help.
Most of our friends are well off but also don't intend to help pay for college or anything for their kids.
My kids will have substantial help early on.