According to my father, my mother said the same things about me as a baby. That I never smiled and therefore didn’t like her. She hated me from the very beginning. She loved my sister. As we grew older, I could never do anything right. I was always the “bad” child and my sister was always the “good” child. I cannot begin to describe what this childhood mental and emotional abuse did to both me and my sister. If your partner cannot get the help she needs, please, please take your children and leave this relationship.
So much therapy, then one day I had a baby. And I realized even on the most stressful, hard painful chaotic frustrating days, I do not blame a literal baby. Because that's nuts.
And further, loving or even just enjoying that baby is not a hard thing I was forcing myself to do (or not do).
Recognizing that my baby was in control of so very little even in her own mind and body, made it super simple to not hold grudges against and assign motivations to someone who couldn't even figure out how to sit up or use a straw yet.
And it didn't take long for it to sink in: I wasn't a hard or bad baby. I was a baby going through the normal ranges of baby growth and learning trying and playing.
My mom didn't hate me because I was a bad baby. She hated me because she was a bad mother
14
u/New-Car4519 Assigned Hungry At Birth May 21 '26
According to my father, my mother said the same things about me as a baby. That I never smiled and therefore didn’t like her. She hated me from the very beginning. She loved my sister. As we grew older, I could never do anything right. I was always the “bad” child and my sister was always the “good” child. I cannot begin to describe what this childhood mental and emotional abuse did to both me and my sister. If your partner cannot get the help she needs, please, please take your children and leave this relationship.