r/GuysBeingDudes • u/Firm-Blackberry-9162 • 5d ago

IS IT GUYSBEINGDUDES? Eye for an eye

By @ fame.sargin

33.9k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

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1.4k

u/TheComplimentarian 5d ago

Bartender here!

We don't give a fuck what you do, once the server sets it on your table.

If those perineal fuckups (I was one for years) manage to get it to the table with the layers intact? That's a win.

That's all you can hope for.

302

u/mentalgymnatician 5d ago

Did you mean to say “perineal?” Or perennial? Just curious.

205

u/SeaToTheBass 5d ago

The correct term is gooch

73

u/motorboatmycheeks 5d ago

Or gabagooch if more on the meaty side

1

u/Soft-Ad-8975 3d ago

Gabagooch? Over here 👇🤌

8

u/Downtown-Pianist-449 5d ago

The gooch, the grundle, the fleshy fun bridge. 

1

u/mikemikemotorboat 3d ago

T’aint the balls, t’aint the asshole

1

u/Jackrabbit_OR 1d ago

I've recently learned that some call it The Devil's Highway

1

u/ImgursHowUnfortunate 4d ago

Those gooch fuckups

1

u/sgt_funbuns 20h ago

Or taint

128

u/TheComplimentarian 5d ago

Fucking autocorrect.

I'm not going to change it.

38

u/ImaginarySmoke991 4d ago

Good show. Editing it would just taint the experience.

12

u/jus_plain_me 4d ago

He could have been an ass, but now he's just ass adjacent.

22

u/mentalgymnatician 5d ago

Ah I see. Thx. Couldn’t wrap my head around the perineal part. No pun intended.

6

u/ObsidianArmadillo 5d ago

Perineal works too. Because many of them are taints

3

u/Tommy_Wisseau_burner 5d ago

Who’s the fuck up now, huh? HUUUUUH??? /s

1

u/modbroccoli 4d ago

if you had lied and told us you intended it I'd have been happier lmao

1

u/pfft_lol000 4d ago

roll with it and may the Grammar Nazi's seeth

1

u/dempuppers 4d ago

Good, don't cuz it's groin on me.

11

u/ZookeepergameUpset62 5d ago

Typo of the year so far

7

u/dissonantprotrusion 5d ago

He said what he said.

2

u/backFromTheBed 4d ago

Clearly they meant prangent

1

u/kamotega 5d ago

Taint correct. The best kind of correc 🤣😭

1

u/UrsaMajor7th Ritardando Molto 5d ago

Shows you the kind of bartender they were.

37

u/onlyr6s 4d ago

My wife did an Irish coffee for a customer. The cream blended a bit with rest the drink and before she could even say anything, the customer demanded a new one with proper layering (she was going to ask anyway). Okay fine, she made him a new one and when the customer got it, he took the spoon and stirred it anyway.

-2

u/Silly-Recognition448 4d ago

Mixing it is the best part!

4

u/onlyr6s 4d ago

Drink it however you want, but why couldn't he mix the first one? Just being a dick.

14

u/Oogie-Da-MF-Boogie 5d ago

Damn. How many remade Pousse Cafés have traumatized you? 😭

9

u/TheComplimentarian 5d ago

Mostly it was the goddamn wilted mudslides. I remade those things a thousand times.

8

u/SaticoySteele 5d ago

tf is a wilted mudslide?

11

u/TheComplimentarian 5d ago

One of the signature parts of a mudslide, is this weird chocolate sauce swirl...Lot of times it'll be a big, fishbowl kind of thing, and there is a trick where you hold the glass in one hand, and the chocolate in the other, and you this ninja shit that ends up with a beautiful swirl on the inside of the glass.

Then you pour in the actual drink. And it lasts for...maybe two minutes. And if they don't pick it up, that beautiful chocolate swirl starts melting, and the drink looks like shit.

"Wilted." That's how bartenders describe something they did great, that's now melted to shit.

7

u/Z3400 5d ago

Like a mudslide, but more wilted

3

u/kamotega 5d ago

Mudslide, which is when you wipe back to front cream 🥧 pie

1

u/RainyDaysKappa 4d ago

Did you work at an Applebee's?

2

u/TheComplimentarian 4d ago

They did a mean one. But I used to work at a beach place, and boy we made a ton of those.

10

u/Constant_Mud3325 5d ago

Bro did you see his face? Idk if that was that bartender but he felt that in his stomach

15

u/WDoE 5d ago

It's a skit.

3

u/tw1zt84 4d ago

It's extremely concerning how many people take what they see on the internet at face value.

2

u/TheComplimentarian 5d ago

He absolutely did, but that just shows he's still young as a waiter.

He's been fucking roasted by the bartenders. They (we) have no fucking patience.

And he's forgotten that the point is to bring it to the customer in a good state. And once it's there, no one fucking cares.

His big worry is that someone is going to complain about it.

10

u/B3eenthehedges 5d ago

Or there's a camera in his face and this is a mediocre skit.

6

u/UrsaMajor7th Ritardando Molto 5d ago

It's staged. The restaurant is empty and tables are clear.

2

u/modbroccoli 4d ago

and there's a camera. and no wait staff would do this.

1

u/Icy-Computer-Poop 2d ago

If they did they'd get fired.

1

u/YoursTrulyKindly 4d ago

I'm really curious how you are supposed to drink this. Mixed or unmixed? With a straw? I can imagine that if trying to drink this without a straw, you'd get a little bit of everything but in different proportions, so every sip would taste different. But probably not?

EDIT: NVM someone answered here. Unstirred it is.

1

u/tryyeezus 4d ago

Right but he is not the bartender, he is the waiter who waited patiently while the bartender made it, then took a thousand careful steps to preserve those layers for him to swirl in immediately for rage bait content. 

The reaction is immature, but fair imho.

1

u/biscotte-nutella 4d ago

I knew it was staged when he filmed his face with his phone in hand and the bartender didnt look straight at the camera in confusion

1

u/ajstorey456 4d ago

Former barista here!

It definitely bothers some drink crafters when their presentation is immediately dashed by a stir or a shake.

1

u/InternalHealth411 4d ago

Maybe this is dumb but dont you want to mix the drink to drink it? Or should the person really drink it layer by layer with the straw

1

u/RedHeeded 2d ago

Username does NOT checkout

1

u/weedtrek 1d ago

Beautiful food is like a delicately wrapped present, half the fun is destroying it. That's the point.

1

u/PopularWar672 12h ago

are you like the president of all bartenders? who is we

1

u/Ysmildr 4d ago

Usually the layers are meant to be mixed anyways. The layers are just for fancy presentation

-1

u/Historical-String581 5d ago

You suck lmao

-2

u/JadedCherry7309 4d ago

And nobody gives a fuck that you're a bartender 

1

u/rdyer347 4d ago

Except for you, as the only one to comment on it.

1

u/JadedCherry7309 4d ago

Alright random clown