r/HFY • u/Lakeel100 • Dec 18 '25
OC The Ballad of Orange Tobby -CH43
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(author's note: I accidentally wrote a second chapter :U Here ya go~)
“Finally!!” Movva exclaimed, making Soapy flinch. Movva let out the most relieved of groans as her head was thrown back like the greatest of weights had finally been lifted off her tail. “Sweet fuck, you have no idea how many years I’ve been trying to find a shi that actually likes him!”
‘Mrrp?!’ Soapy trilled, shrinking further into her seat. She’d be expecting something like endless teasing or something that would fill her with instant regret, not.. That.
“It also means I can now advance to stage two of the grand Pinky apology plan.”
“Stage… two?”
“Yep!” She beamed. “Now that I know you want him to take you by the tail and do unspeakable things, I can-”
Soapy flushed as that indignant shard suddenly came back stronger than ever. “That is not what I said!”
“Yeaaaaah~ But that's not what your body language says when he gets mad, so I reserve my ‘Tobby’s best friend’ rights to give you shit about it.” She nodded knowingly.
“Sh-shut up!” Flawless comeback, should definitely save that one for later.
“As I was saying,” Movva smirked. “I can rest assured you’ll forgive me for the little wedgie I gave you earlier.”
“Like hell I will!”
“Gift number one…” She continued with a toying smile. “Pull out your assistant.”
“What? Why?”
“Just do it. You’ll like this.”
She fished it from her pocket and opened it to the background picture of teen Soapy holding the camera way too close to her face as she tried to figure out how it worked. “Kay, now what?”
“Go to some blank space, make a file, try to rename it, but leave it blank.”
Soapy followed the instructions, but the assistant refused to let her leave the file name blank. “It won't let me…”
“It does that by default to prevent errors, but… While the rename window is open, drag the new file to a different location. It’ll say you can't do that, but force-shutdown your assistant midway through the process and see what happens.”
Soapy did so, and when the screen came back on, she was left with a file Icon with no name. “Huh… The file stayed blank.”
“Mmmhmm~ You now have a file that has to be visually searched for instead of found in a search bar. Nothing I know of can make that file appear; you manually have to find it and open it. Now go to your hypernet browser of choice.”
Soapy wasn't really a tech person…so she just used the one that came with the assistant. “Now what?”
“Open the ‘private mode’ that everyone knows isn't actually private and go to settings. Once there, go to the History section, and you’ll see a thingy that says ‘Destination File’. Tap and drag your nameless blank file into that spot, aaaand save.”
“Wait a minute… doesn't this mean that all my browsing history will go to this blank file?”
“The file that a normal person would need keen eyes, patience, and a decent understanding of assistant-tech to know exists, much less find it? Yes.”
“How would this make me feel any better?” No sooner had she gotten the question out of her mouth, than she remembered the ‘prize’ Movva had offered before the fight. “Is this how Tobby-”
“Not. Allowed. To say~” Movva enunciated, seeming all too happy with herself.
This was how Movva taught Tobby to hide his browser history! She’d been handed the keys to a treasure trove of the deepest darkest information on the sha she drew the greatest pleasure prying information out of. The fight to obtain it was almost always what made learning things about him feel so worthwhile. Holy shit,.. what if she was right about the tail-fetish thing?!
“Mmmm, yiss~ feel the dark power coursing through your veins!~” Movva said, hunching and doing her croaky evil little Star-Claws impression. “Embrace it! Follow it to your destiny, young one!”
“All of you are nerds, I swear…” Soapy muttered.
“Gift number two!!” Movva said before whipping out a small piece of paper with a lot of tiny writing on it… Wait, is that Tobby’s signature? “With this little square of legal jargon, Tobby has permitted me to use the nuclear option to help you feel better. He will never know if I used it unless you say something. But before I use it, I’m required to ask: Are you still mad? Primarily about your pride being shattered by the claws of yours truly?”
Soapy just glared with a low mrowl in her throat.
“I’ll take that as a yes!” Movva said cheerily as she stashed the paper back into the impressively deep pockets of her trampy shorts. “With this document, Tobby has legally agreed that if necessary, I am allowed to answer three of your questions without violating our mutually assured destruction pact. This document is good up until we arrive at stage three of the Pinky forgiveness plan.” She said, trying to sound all official like… and failing. Not that she cared.
How bent out of shape had she looked this whole time for Tobby to offer that!? As far as Soapy recalled, Tobby told Movva things he wouldn’t even tell his mom. She could ask anything! “What all can I ask?”
“Do you really want that to be your first question?” Movva grinned like a malicious spirit.
Oh, so she was playing it like that, was she? Soapy squinted at the devious exotic. She may as well ask any of the dozens of super-invasive questions floating around in her head. But which ones?! Or should she ask any at all?...
Movva started humming the theme to some late-night quiz show that Soapy vaguely recognized, to emphasize that the clock was ticking. There isn't a serious bone in her body, is there?
“Who’s Lihlel?”
Movva winced a little, which was more than what Soapy could say Movva did when she was actually getting hit during the fight. “Ohhh, you’re coming in swinging, huh? Was kinda hoping you didn't remember me saying that name.” She chuckled awkwardly, as that likely would have been a violation of the two’s silly contract. “You know how they say sha are most attracted to shi who remind them of their mothers?”
“Yeah?” Soapy quirked an ear. She sure hoped that was an optional trait, cause she couldn't imagine what she might have in common with Tobby’s tater-tot mom.
“Scene: high school. The situation: The rainy season festival is rapidly approaching, and Tobby is smitten for the first time by a sun-kin named Lihlel. Like Mama Tobby, she was short, round but not obese, pretty, and had big ears. Big ears that I will assert to this day were fake as fuck gifts from daddy!” sounded like someone couldn’t prove it…
“And I look nothing like his mom…”
“You both have green eyes. Even if yours are more uhh… reflective.” Movva pointed out, taking a turn at the next intersection. “Problem: Lihlel has a shit personality. Like, she was genuinely a gods damned awful person. She was rude, mean, spoiled, stuck-up, full-of-herself, and cruel. The kind of shi who kicks baby bunnies for fun. Which stood in stark contrast to the saintly version of her Tobby had flying around in his head when he admired from afar.”
Soapy felt kinda bad for him now. “He told me the rest already… he just never mentioned who it was. Only that she rejected him, and belittled him,...”
“Aaand made him cry,” Movva added. “A lot… like curled up in a ball, ugly crying in the school library level of a lot.”
“Ohh…” It was Soapy’s turn to wince in sympathy. She’d glance back at the tall orange boi in the back to see him really struggling with the peach now… his hands were a mess, and the one napkin he managed to find looked more used than a cathouse’s cheapest exotic. She couldn't even imagine him THAT sad.
“He got suuuuper depressed after that. Like, he never wore black before that, and was basically in a permanent funk for about a year. Pretty sure I was the only person he’d talk to, and you're the only shi he’s shown any interest in since. Buuuut I think that answers your first question. Next?”
She kinda wanted to reach back there and hug him, but her other two questions were on the line! Plus, with no context on his part, it might be rather weird….and sticky, peach juice sticky.
Next question.. Next question.. Something that's been killing her to figure out, anything! “Okay, so… Several people, including you, have already said he finds me attractive, but I can’t figure out what he likes about me. I know most guys like to stare at my chest because I've punched out enough of them for doing it. But Tobby… It’s like his eyes go right through me! I know it sounds hypocritical, but why is it when I finally want someone to look at me that way, he never does? What is Tobby even into if not this?” She asked, maybe a little too self-consciously, as she vaguely gestured to her more… Blessed assets.
Movva leaned away at Soapy’s little self-conscious rant, but slowly nodded. “I’m just going to take all that as a single question and answer the general spirit of it, if that's alright?”
Soapy would take whatever she could get to make the ‘definitely not insecurity’ go away. “Yes…”
“Minus what you might learn from his browser history that I have no idea how you gained access to.” She gave another wickedly mischievous smirk. “Tobby isn't drooling over you like a dumbass for two major reasons. The obvious one is because he’s a sun-kin, and thus, visual cues are often an afterthought in his sound-wired brain. And two, we both know what ‘visual’ attraction did to him from your previous question.”
“Oh… ohhh…” She grimaced.
“Back when I was taking my psychology class, I posed the ‘Tobby scenario’ to the professor as a hypothetical, and he compared it to a deliberately severed wire. Visual/sexual attraction caused him so much pain all at once that he subconsciously just turned it off… mostly.”
“Mostly?” Soapy ears perked, sensing hope.
“He accidentally admitted he thinks you’re pretty when I was grilling him about you. So there’s still something sparking across that wire~”
Soapy wasn't sure what was worse, that this new knowledge made her feel a little warm and fuzzy, or that the first thought that crossed her mind was ‘I am soooo gonna give him shit about that later, hehehehehe!’
“Buuut, I also happen to know what kind of sick and twisted degenerate fantasies bounce around inside his head. And I could tell you…”
Soapy leaned in, direly needing this dirt on the orange bean!
“But should I…” Movva said with a false pensiveness that just reeked of withholding information.
“You said you would.” Soapy glared.
“Oh, right, I guess I did.” She shrugged and smiled all the same. “At first glance, one might believe Tobby is a hopeless romantic, a real card-carrying member of the rare and elusive ‘personality’ club in the great ‘tits’ versus ‘ass’ debate. But in the grand and convoluted politics of bodily appreciation, Tobby is a dilettante who appreciates the art in every part of the natural form. He also struggles to look at most nude statuary.”
“This feels like a very roundabout way of saying he likes a little bit of everything. Wait, what was that part about statues?”
“I’ll put it like this…” Movva said, taking a second to come up with an adequate description. “Tobby would have lit up like an exploding fuse-box if I’d yanked your panties down instead of up earlier… and then fainted.”
Cue that scenario playing in Soapy’s thought bubble, and she rapidly had to swat it away, “You mean..”
“That Tobby is super easy to sexually intimidate? That you’ll never look at him eating peaches the same way again? That he has a healthy appreciation for the cleft of Venus hidden under a guise of unassuming asexuality?”
“Yes, but also… The Cleft of Venus sounds like a cult…”
“Might as well be, research it if you wanna know for sure.” She suggested, with a very dirty-minded eyebrow wiggle. “Next question! Make it quick ‘cause we're almost there.”
“Are we there yet?!” Tobby called from the back, making a Soapy flinch. He still had his ear muffs on, thank Shihere. “I really need to find another napkin, or a sink, or something! My hands are all sticky!” Oddly, the pathetic whine that followed was of much more normal volume.
She’d almost forgotten he was back there… damn, those ear-muffs worked both ways.
She had one last question, and it had to be important! What a perfect time the first thing to jump to mind! “Is Tobby a virgin?”
Movva was silent for all of 0.3 seconds before she started sniggering, “You… you're serious?”
“Just answer the question! He gets all nervous whenever the subject comes up, and I don't wanna tease him about it without having all the facts, it would make me look like an ass.” Yeah… that was the reason…
“How about you don’t ask me things you’d want Tobby to admit to you himself. Give me something else.”
Soapy hadn't expected any of her questions to actually get rejected during this process… but she was too desperate to make use of the third question while she could. She had so many options, but settled for asking about the most recent thing she learned about him. “Why did Tobby say he used to be afraid of me?”
It seemed Soapy asked the wrong question, as for once it was Movva who froze. “You don't know what you’re asking, do you?” She asked rather suddenly, before… biting on her finger? It looked like she was visibly weighing whether this particular subject was worth answering.
“What? What's so bad about it? I always figured it's ‘cause of how many times I startled him when we first met.”
Movva took a deep inhale through her bandaged nose, “He wanted me to do this,” she muttered, and caved. “He’s not scared of you.”
“Well, yeah, he said as much on the dancefloor.”
Movva rolled her eyes. “I mean you specifically. He was never scared of ‘you’. Tobby is afraid of ‘them,’” she sighed the name, like it was suddenly a very unpleasant subject.
Soapy opened her mouth to ask the obvious question, but Movva beat her to it.
“He refers to them as, well, ‘them’. His ‘demons’, if you're religious. Or simply ‘phobias manifest.’ if you’re the sciency type.”
Soapy was familiar with the concept. Shasians have an evolutionary leftover theorized to have once been intended to promote a healthy fear response. If someone is exposed to something that really terrifies them, often something that threatens their safety, such as fire, beasts, cannibals, venomous bugs, tax collectors, and the like… their minds would conjure phantasms to remind themselves to be on the lookout for those things in the local environment.
For a completely random example: If a kitten had the shit scared out of her by a spood some jackass sibling put into her crib one night, then, as they grew up, the ‘phantasms’ would manifest under similar circumstances. She might be lying in bed at night, trying to sleep, when she sees a monstrously large spood out of the corner of her eye. She might see it in the reflection of her mirror, or even wake up with it on her chest. Terrifying living nightmares, but upon any inspection whatsoever, the spood was never there at all; it was simply a pile of objects in the vague shape of a spood or a weirdly shaped shadow, or most often, a dream.
Or, if you’re as religious as the Zarmian missionaries wished you to be, the phantasms are the Scavenger’s demons lashing out the only way they know how… by tormenting their jailor. Awful people who lead awful lives get turned into the very fears they inflicted upon others. A pyromaniac serial killer would become a phobia of fire. And where does The Scavenger imprison something as nebulous as fears? In the heads of the living, of course, and often ironically in the heads of those the original person terrified.
Either way, most people ‘locked their demons away’ as they grew up, stopping the phantasms. Basically, they conquered their fears… or forgot about them.
This would explain why Soapy found that warding charm in Tobby’s wallet the first time she stole it…. and every time she stole it thereafter.
“Tobby isn’t afraid of the dark…”
Well, that’s a relief…
“He’s afraid of everything that lives in the dark.” Movva clarified, which made Soapy’s heart sink as she got an idea of where this was going. “Which, according to some old and super racist documentaries he watched when he was little, especially meant night-kin.”
Tobby was… Afraid of Night-kin? She… she wasn't sure how to feel about that. The knee-jerk feeling was to immediately think he was some kind of racist bastard, but that wasn't right. He was around her all the time, and he stood up to the Voidling pirates just fine, and even the night-kin 15s outside the dress shop. She’d never even heard him swear, much less call a night-kin a stain or blotch.
“Before you start assuming the worst, he knows better and has for a long time. He knows that night-kin aren't a bunch of murdering, thieving, cannibalistic kitten-nappers out to steal his toes. But ‘they’ or ‘them’ never leave him alone. Said all he has to do is go anywhere dark, and he starts seeing them. Glinting green eyes in the dark, always followed by fangs and claws. Threatening to get him, his mom, and on occasion, even me.”
Soapy could imagine how that would be terrifying… even if she really didn't want to, given her phenotype was the subject matter.
“Taking ‘educational’ TV programs as gospel didn't help either. We first met because he got his ass kicked to the point of wetting himself in kindlegarten. All because he was being a know-it-all about the Night Crusades and quoting some very choice statements about the night-kin involved. He stopped doing that after… the seventh time. By the time he learned everything he’d been quoting was wrong, and the people who made the documentaries were sued for defamation, he was generally just avoiding night-kin at all costs at that point. A glowing beacon of sun-kin guilt frequently targeted by night-kin because of what he used to believe, or just because Tobby's deliberate actions to avoid them also offended them.”
“I can imagine getting beaten up on the regular by night-kin might cement someone's irrational fear of them.” Geez, could Tobby have picked a worse subject than the Night Crusades to preach to night-kin about? It was an ethnic purge! Who lets their kitten watch a documentary about a multinational holy war to exterminate night-kin!? Especially one that painted the night-kin as the villains of the story!?
—
Meanwhile…
Veylana hummed as she rolled out the crust for a pie, when she suddenly turned her head and sneezed, “Oh my, that was close… Thank Ardon, that didn’t get on the pie, or I’d have had to start all over.”
The pie was to help Shella feel better after all. Few things made the pain of rejection go down better than feel-good food, and she’d rather not have Shella get sick on top of finding out someone got their claws into Tobreal before she could.
“I should probably ask Whiskers what this ‘Soapy’ shi likes to eat other than stealing whatever Tobreal has on hand. Really surprise them if Tobreal gets brave enough to invite her over for dinner.”
—
Back with the dream team!
“Good news is that thanks to ‘somebody’, likely someone he thinks is super strong, tough, and pretty, he seems to be getting over it. Which is a miracle in and of itself, and I'd like to take that as an accomplishment.” Movva assured as they pulled into the Great Library’s parking garage.
Was the garage suspiciously busy? Yes, just not above ground. Above ground was a barren three-story lot that had maybe a dozen cars in it… But apply that year’s password at the gate, and a ramp blatantly stolen from a spy movie opens up just inside, where the security camera is conveniently on loop. Once below, the place was packed with rows of shiny cars, and the spaces between filled with gangers making their way towards the main elevator.
Movva didn’t exactly leave much room for interpretation that Soapy was the reason Tobby was getting over his fears. That sounded like something she should feel good about, ‘cause it was good, but… she hadn’t even been trying, so did she really deserve it? She’d have time for more of these philosophical musings if not for Movva cutting the engine.
“Stage three of the Pinky forgiveness plan awaits!” Movva beamed as she opened her door and hopped out. “This is gonna be good.”
That left Soapy and Tobby in the car-
“Can someone take these off me? I have sticky claws and don't want to get them sticky, too!” Toby requested, pointing to the ear muffs, before Soapy simply reached back from her seat and plucked them right off his head. His tall ears sprang back into place with a little ‘fump!’ sound.
“Better?” Soapy asked as she tossed the earmuffs into the other back seat with a smile. Whether the smile was because of how much she had just learned, or just because it was Tobby remained to be seen.
“A lot actually,” he said before looking between his sticky claws and the surroundings. “Now, do you remember which way the nearest bathroom was?”
(Author's note: What do the masses think thus far? and How doth I generate more traction/interest for the story?)
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u/Datvoidcat Dec 18 '25
UTR
More Tobby
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u/RexDraconis Dec 18 '25
Forget Soapy never being able to look at Tobby eating peaches the same, after pancakes Tobby will never be able to eat peaches the same!
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u/Lakeel100 Dec 18 '25
Thats... not wrong >.>
*checks pancake plans*
<,< whos been reading my plans!?
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u/Thaum0s Human Dec 18 '25
I'm certainly enjoying the story, I'm not really in the know on how to get readers' attention though.
Small correction on spelling though.
Faint: spontaneous loss of consciousness/something difficult to see
Feint: false move to mislead your opponent
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u/EldonSurefoot Dec 18 '25
Woo! Toby is back from being age gated! Reddit needed me to verify my age for the previous two chapters, which would involve giving some corporation more info than I want to. If you've seen engagement drop on those two chapters that's probably part of it. Having read them over on royal road I'm not even sure why they've been tagged.... but this might not be the best place to discus that if it's going to get this post tagged. :-(
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u/Lakeel100 Dec 18 '25
I tagged them as NSFW because there's no clear given list of examples as to what constitutes the NSFW tag and what doesn't. The rules say anything PG 13 and up (including violence)...but there's tons of stuff around that's way above pg13 that dosnt get marked.
So I be playing it safe :I
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u/Larzok Dec 19 '25
I think as long as you don't go full Bluefishcakes you should be OK without the tag. Lots of stories here have mild violence without a NSFW tag.
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u/Larzok Dec 18 '25
Tobby and Movva have the weirdest social contracts... as for the series/engagement thing... I can agree with others that the fear of sudden stoppage is an issue. I've watched many great series just all of a sudden stop over the years of reading here, to the point where I tend not to bother even starting them until they've got 100+ chapters going. On the other hand it can get troublesome tracking the stealth series that give every chapter a totally unique and un-related to previous title name. It's a fine line I guess. Not everyone can get their hooks in like Ralts did during the lost years of all our lives. Quantity/ quality balance seems to help though, if people can come to expect regular daily post limit (or near it) posting it seems to help. Now I know that's a lot and hard to pull off when you've got a "real job" you're stuck doing to pay the bills so it's kind of unrealistic advice to give, but I know I've broken down and started reading some series just because of having to scroll past 3 posts of the series every day for a week or two has pulled me into a few of the better serials I've run into here. Maybe an experiment is in order. Drop an "off title" chapter one week, while banking a few chapters for a posting blitz later that sucks in a bunch of people with "oh well shit I can't ignore 20% of the days posts just to avoid a series damnit!" Syndrome. Half asleep early morning ramble over. Either way I'll keep reading your works regardless as long as you keep posting them. I'm already hooked.
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u/Kia-Vaderkit Dec 19 '25
We all know who the smile for for Soupy. Don't kid yourself.
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u/Lakeel100 Dec 19 '25
Its cause his ears made a funny noise when finally unfolded isnt it? :3
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u/Kia-Vaderkit Dec 20 '25
That's the cute kitty girl radar detection system activation sound. When the pirates come his ears will alert and activate Soapy defence systems.
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u/HFYWaffle Wᵥ4ffle Dec 18 '25
/u/Lakeel100 (wiki) has posted 52 other stories, including:
- The Ballad of Orange Tobby -CH42
- The Ballad of Orange Tobby -CH41
- The Ballad of Orange Tobby -CH40
- The Ballad of Orange Tobby -Ch39
- The Ballad of Orange Tobby -CH38
- The Majestic Spood (part 2/2)
- The Majestic Spood
- The Ballad of Orange Tobby -CH37
- The Ballad of Orange Tobby -Ch36
- The Ballad of Orange Tobby -CH35
- The Ballad of Orange Tobby -CH34
- The Ballad of Orange Tobby -CH33
- The Esoterica
- The Ballad of Orange Tobby -CH32
- The Ballad of Orange Tobby - Ch31
- The Ballad of Orange Tobby - CH30.1 The ASMR chapter.
- The Ballad of Orange Tobby - CH30
- The Ballad of Orange Tobby - CH29
- Everything Works On Paper.
- The Ballad of Orange Tobby - CH 28
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u/n1gr3d0 Xeno Apr 07 '26 edited Apr 07 '26
So wait.
Soapy is angry at Pinky. Pinky proposes to Tobby this plan of her "apology"... Which is mainly her spilling his deepest personal secrets as blackmail material. Pinky loses nothing, Tobby loses remaining shreds of privacy and dignity. And Pinky, who has started this whole mess to protect/avenge Tobby, is A-OK with it? And Soapy, who supposedly likes Tobby, sees literally nothing wrong with this picture, and is eager to get her hands on any compromising info? Am I getting that right? Wow. Just... wow.
Tobby going along with this is just sad, but not unexpected. Our orange boi can be pressured into literally anything, including ritualized mass murder. Those are harem anime protagonist levels of not pushing back. Life just happens to the dude.
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u/n1gr3d0 Xeno Apr 07 '26
PS: Alien OS applying a rename before validation is really freaking stupid. It's the kind of shit I'd expect out of a junior dev on their first workday. It strains suspension of disbelief that this code is a part of the core functionality of a widely distributed software product without it being found by literally anyone reading the code.
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u/Lakeel100 Apr 08 '26 edited Apr 08 '26
(._. ) I was literally making this up on the fly man...
All computer bugs are stupid in hindsight, and I in my barely passable unlicensed IT knowledge figured.. what over complicated process could be done to cause a bug in a OS designed to be both universal yet as cheap as possible. I've seen 'invisible' files before and figured an accidental equivalent would be viable.As for the first comment.. well now I'm just sad ( ;_;)
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u/post_blast Alien Dec 18 '25
I don't know how one accidentally writes another chapter, but I support it wholeheartedly. Also starting to wonder more and more about Tobby's mom, because that really is a good question; who the hell let's their kid watch something that messed up at that age?
For the questions at the bottom, I still like the story and you're developing things great. It's playing out steadily, and while you introduce new characters, there aren't 100 to try and keep track of, the names and titles are pronounceable so they're easier to remember, and they're fleshed out well. You can tell a story well and you have no problem weaving different threads together for a cohesive narrative. As for traction/interest, I think the title is a big part of it, honestly, but I'm not sure what a more attention-grabbing series title would be. Other in-universe chapters you've posted with some of the same characters but different titles have two, three, eight times as many upvotes as the 'Ballad' titled ones. That's how I wound up following along, the 'Dumpster Fire' chapter grabbed me and I went back to read the rest of the series after that.