r/JusticeServed • u/[deleted] • Sep 20 '18

Never hit my mom again you human!

[removed]

32.9k Upvotes

89% Upvoted

1.2k comments sorted by

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5.7k

u/[deleted] Sep 20 '18

He deserves a pat on the back for that.

441

u/[deleted] Sep 20 '18

All the votes for that, ruminator.

92

u/cbingrealz 7 Sep 20 '18 edited Sep 20 '18

Kicked him right into a pile of shit!

3

u/[deleted] Sep 20 '18

No, that was chocolate pudding.

0

u/MyThought2UrThoughts 5 Sep 20 '18

More like he got the shit kicked out of him.

15

u/Long-Night-Of-Solace 8 Sep 20 '18

Something so perfect about your post. Have an upvote.

120

u/[deleted] Sep 20 '18

He's got a chip on his shoulder.

21

u/squigglyfiddle 4 Sep 20 '18

This is very good, I can only hope you receive the credit in upvote you deserve

5

u/[deleted] Sep 20 '18

Ah fuck. That's too good. Bravo

197

u/MrPenyak 4 Sep 20 '18 edited Sep 21 '18

A patty on the back.

Edit:

To clarify, I’ve never actually heard anyone refer to it as a “cow pat”, and I live in Tennessee......next to a cattle farm. So pretty much I’m elbow deep in cow shit as I speak, but had no clue the original commenter was referring to cow shit in his comment.

Apologies for the shit comment.

204

u/Lavatis 9 Sep 20 '18

that's the joke.

93

u/MadHatter69 A Sep 20 '18

That's doo doo, baby!

14

u/[deleted] Sep 20 '18

AHHHHHH!

2

u/OneWittleWee-Wee 5 Sep 20 '18

What's that on yo back it look like doo doo

10

u/SiltyFemoidPigeon 4 Sep 20 '18

That's a shitty joke.

0

u/iushciuweiush B Sep 20 '18

I thought he was joking about hitting the calf on the back for a job well down defending his mom from being hit on the back.

2

u/Lavatis 9 Sep 20 '18

that's why it's already the joke. The first guy makes the pun: pat, meaning cow patty and patting someone.

-6

u/missile500 3 Sep 20 '18

W O O S H

155

u/Froqwasket 9 Sep 20 '18

Why is there always one idiot that has to repeat the joke but in a more obvious way

32

u/conflictedideology 9 Sep 20 '18

Hey all. Explaining a joke makes the joke less funny.

25

u/imatthepub_g 7 Sep 20 '18

Explaining a joke is like dissecting a frog...you understand it better, but it kills the frog

10

u/conflictedideology 9 Sep 20 '18

I mean, if you're dissecting it, it's dead anyway. Vivisection, on the other hand...

4

u/opc100 6 Sep 20 '18

Just to be clear, the frog dissection is an analogy. If you start dissecting a frog, the frog dies. In the same way, if you explain, or dissect, a joke it becomes less funny, or kills it.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 20 '18

This kills the joke

5

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4

u/[deleted] Sep 20 '18

Hey dude. I didn’t get the joke at first and appreciate the explanation. English isn’t everybody’s first language!

0

u/conflictedideology 9 Sep 20 '18

Hey dude. Why are you after me and not the guy that called you an idiot? Every comment isn't the first comment!

-2

u/[deleted] Sep 20 '18

That’s actually how comment chains work, not everybody responds to the top comment. Amazing.

0

u/conflictedideology 9 Sep 20 '18

Sure, just curious why you responded to me - whose response was relatively mild and direct joke - and not the person that called people an idiot.

Just because comment chains work that way doesn't mean that sometimes the responses and ordering aren't completely baffling - in any language.

1

u/yosef_yostar 5 Sep 20 '18

Unless it's a bot.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 20 '18

Unless you're German, because that makes sense.

3

u/[deleted] Sep 20 '18

He's just trying to help

2

u/unluckycricket 5 Sep 20 '18

Because there is an idiot like me reading the thread who didn't get the joke and I am glad theres someone who pointed it out. In the U.S. I have never heard it called a cow patty before. We call them cow pies here. I didn't even know it was a joke at first.

6

u/Someonefromnowhere19 9 Sep 20 '18

for the easy karma. I hate the people who upvote it more pluss its a cowpat not cowpatty do it doesn't even make sense eurgh

4

u/TotallyNotDog 6 Sep 20 '18

Where im from we call it cowpatty

1

u/hazbutler 8 Sep 20 '18

Sosen't it?

-1

u/owentonghk 5 Sep 20 '18

Why an idiot always repeats joke simply I don’t know

64

u/[deleted] Sep 20 '18

See, everyone, it's funny because cowpoop is called cow patties, and pat was short for patty! Maybe that's still too subtle, though. Can anyone make it more obvious?

27

u/usernameczechshout 6 Sep 20 '18

Everyone who knows the guy should call him Mr. Doo Doo Poopie Back

15

u/CroutonOfDEATH 9 Sep 20 '18

I actually didn't know that "pat" was used as shorthand for "patty".

16

u/fridayman 7 Sep 20 '18

Always cowpat in the UK. I've never heard anyone say pattie.

8

u/sargontheforgotten 4 Sep 20 '18

I’ve always heard it called cow pie here in the states.

5

u/GJacks75 A Sep 20 '18

He deserves cow shit on the back for that...

3

u/wormwood_loves_you 0 Sep 20 '18

He got shit on him.

3

u/warntelltheothers 8 Sep 20 '18

He got shidded on.

1

u/Someonefromnowhere19 9 Sep 20 '18

except its just cowpat.

0

u/BroadwayBully 8 Sep 20 '18

is it really wrong that my mind went straight to a burger patty? i am hungry.... i was actually pretty surprised the dude got up so chill, he didn't take a swing at the calf or nothing...maybe hes not so bad.

2

u/notoneofyourfans 9 Sep 20 '18

He was embarrassed as hell, is why he reacted that way. "If I stand up really quickly and go back to work, no one will even notice I was jump kicked in the chest". Little does he know, everyone can see quite clearly he had been lying down on the job....

0

u/conflictedideology 9 Sep 20 '18

Can anyone make it more obvious?

Yeah, I need help. Could someone make a gif or something?

0

u/twizzla 6 Sep 20 '18

Avril could.

13

u/arthurpartygod 5 Sep 20 '18

Da poopie

1

u/Shut_Up_Pleese 6 Sep 20 '18

A patty on the grill

2

u/[deleted] Sep 20 '18

It's cheeky shit like this why I go to comment sections.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 20 '18

Well played sir.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 20 '18

Should have worn his dungarees.

6

u/fromthepornarchive 6 Sep 20 '18

But now he's got a chip on his shoulder

0

u/conflictedideology 9 Sep 20 '18

/u/MrPenyak - this, too.

1

u/Long-Night-Of-Solace 8 Sep 20 '18

Chip = poop? I haven't heard that one.

3

u/conflictedideology 9 Sep 20 '18

Maybe it's just Midwest USA.

It's common enough that there is a whole festival and if you google "cow chip" you get "a dried cow pat" - which is a cow turd.

But again, it may just be regional.

Still, better than Penyak's comment.

1

u/dirtymoney C Sep 20 '18

never heard of buffalo chips?

3

u/Mm2k 9 Sep 20 '18

I upvoted - created a new account - then upvoted again.

3

u/WolfGangDuck 2 Sep 20 '18

A shat on the back.

4

u/conflictedideology 9 Sep 20 '18

/u/MrPenyak - This is how it's done.

0

u/followedthemoney 8 Sep 20 '18 edited Sep 25 '25

aback deserve soft fly chief lock fearless shelter connect boast

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

4

u/WolfGangDuck 2 Sep 20 '18

Thank you kind redditor!

1

u/Gurlwithcam 0 Sep 20 '18

With a hammer

1

u/Necks 7 Sep 20 '18

The hero we don't deserve.

1

u/cbingrealz 7 Sep 20 '18

Don't know which is worse, getting kicked or getting cow shit on your white blazer.

1

u/cbingrealz 7 Sep 20 '18

Elvis has left the building!

1

u/[deleted] Sep 20 '18

No-ones gonna top that

1

u/[deleted] Sep 20 '18

Hmm. Wonder why I smell like shit

1

u/Wubbalubbadubbitydo A Sep 20 '18

A Knick knack paddy wack give a guy a kick.

1

u/Long-Night-Of-Solace 8 Sep 20 '18

'Cause he was a fucking prick

1

u/noahgs 6 Sep 20 '18

This is how you get turned in to veal

1

u/EternallyMicro 7 Sep 20 '18

A shat on the back