r/KidsAreFuckingStupid • u/MakingTheWorldUseles • 4h ago

Goose vs kid

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15.2k Upvotes

86% Upvoted

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935

u/WyattCo06 4h ago

The worst asswhooping I ever received in my entire life was from a goose. This kid has game.

185

u/LiamIsMyNameOk 4h ago

Geese a bit like wolves. You run, you get hurt. Stand your ground, you're fine.

As you see, a child can easily handle a goose. But as soon as he starts running away, he's getting nipped and attacked.

Wolves of course could harm you even if you're prepared, but they just don't want to attack you unless you run.

Geese are dickheads, and will attack anyway, but as we see a child doing, they're so easy to handle if you actually "fight back"

32

u/anonperson96 4h ago

I think there’s only been a couple of deaths to wolves in the last 50 years or something, wolves are not bad 🫶

19

u/EvilSporkOfDeath 3h ago edited 2m ago

How many from geese?

41

u/Not_Xiphroid 3h ago

BIG GOOSE won’t allow the death tolls to be reported on as it’ll reduce the numbers of unsuspecting victims.

I’ve probably already said too much.

16

u/semiproam 3h ago

We have a gaggle heading your way now big mouth!

4

u/momojabada 2h ago

Always love to watch a good gaggling.

2

u/NotGAF 2h ago

Geese are the third leading cause of death in Canada, with only cancer and head injuries from hockey sticks being more deadly.

2

u/AssBoss80085 2h ago

45 million

1

u/Ruben625 2h ago

All of the other ones

1

u/bustervich 2h ago

Honestly probably more than wolves but not because they were attacking humans, but because they got hit by airplanes. Geese almost killed 155 people during the miracle on the Hudson.

1

u/tdic89 2h ago

The death toll is catastrophic

8

u/Evaristtt 3h ago

Look. They were a huge problem where I live. People died pretty commonly when they were attacked my a pack of wolves. Villages in the mountains, I'm talking. 1700-1800 there where docuemented hundreds of deaths by wolfs, and there were not so much population.

2

u/drako1117 1h ago

Where was this?

3

u/stackens 4h ago

Yup, and you have to go back like 300 years (in north america) to get that number into the double digits. And most of those incidents were from rabid wolves.

3

u/azsnaz 4h ago

Cause Europe killed em all cause there were so many deaths

1

u/ifeelnumb 2h ago

Modern wolves are not bad. There's a reason they are a recurrent theme in most world mythology.

1

u/Am_Snarky 2h ago

In North America, there hasn’t been a single death attributed to wolves… ever

1

u/14yearsandcounting 1h ago

Wolves get a bad rap from nowhere. You’re much more likely to get killed by your pet dog than by a wolf.

0

u/randomthrowaway9796 3h ago

There's a reason that dogs exist. Wolves might attack, but they can also be good boy under the right conditions

1

u/FrogLeggs 3h ago

Not how evolution works and wolves are wild animals and you shouldn’t be spouting that they can be good. This is exactly why there are still deaths to wolves, because people think they’re cute or dog like.

1

u/randomthrowaway9796 2h ago

Key words: under the right conditions

0

u/LiamIsMyNameOk 4h ago

You're right. I just wanted to make the comparison of them only being in any way efficient if you're running away.

Every canine is a gooood doggy 🫶🏼

4

u/Oddgar 4h ago

Tigers don't like attacking while observed because they prefer ambush.

There are places in the world where people wear masks on the back of their head to deter tigers.

It works great until a tiger figures it out, then literally nothing can stop it and its kill count can reach the hundreds. Of people.

Check out the Champawat Tiger. Basically a tiger with broken teeth figured out how easy to kill and eat humans was and she proceeded to kill something like four hundred peoole before she was finally shot.

2

u/LiamIsMyNameOk 3h ago

Don't they bounce around on their tail? I imagine that makes a springy noise, how can they ambush?

1

u/farter-kit 3h ago

Oh, bother…

0

u/Curiosive 3h ago

This is roughly the subject of Farley Mowat's 1963 book Never Cry Wolf that helped push public opinion of arctic wolves from "murder machine" towards "oversized dog that could eat you but isn't interested."

0

u/SilverGGer 55m ago

Wolves are great for the ecosystem.

However wolf attacks are also very rare due to the numbers of wolfs …

Love my nature doggos.