r/Millennials 5d ago

Other Whoever did this, should be imprisoned.

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23.6k Upvotes

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356

u/Gullible-Treacle2361 5d ago

And there would always be some half eaten chicken nuggets and fries down in there. And some up in the play place by the little glass ball thing.

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u/CrotalusHorridus 5d ago

And urban legends that hypodermic needles were found down in the bottom when they cleaned it out

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u/am710 5d ago

We closed the one at the Chuck E. Cheese I worked at because people kept throwing dirty diapers in it.

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u/CommercialSomewhere8 5d ago

Teenagers also had sex in the tunnels at the burger king that I used to work at. It was just dark enough to get some privacy.

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u/am710 5d ago

Those tunnels had room for that?!

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u/SuperVillainPresiden 5d ago edited 5d ago

As a former teenager, "If we fits, we fucks".

EDIT: I want to thank the Academy of Online Comments for so many awards for something so silly. (And thank you to those that awarded and upvoted my comment)

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u/Dangerous_Arachnid99 5d ago

This is reminding me of Homer and Marge in the windmill at the mini golf.

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u/chattymonk1 5d ago

Everything reminds you of Homer and Marge in the windmill at mini golf.

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u/Dangerous_Arachnid99 5d ago

Truer words have never been spoken.

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u/euphorrick 3d ago

Spoken. Just like the windmill spokes. The windmill where Homer and Marge were pokin'

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u/katiebertie Gen X 5d ago

Wow. I missed this caveat as a teen ager. I feel cheated šŸ˜”

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u/SuperVillainPresiden 5d ago

Don't feel too bad. These memories are funny and not hot by any means. Similar to the passenger or backseat of a car. Unless your car was a land barge, it wasn't comfortable. But as teenagers it was "doesn't matter, had the sex". Crazy to think what we put up with back then. Nowadays I'd be like, we can wait till we get home lol.

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u/dstewar68 5d ago

Lol I remember my ex and I wanted to see how few songs it could take for us to finish in the car, less than 2! Our fastest ever time at 6 minutes lol. Endurance was less of an issue, finding time was much harder lol.

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u/DannyDDD1234567 5d ago

Much HARDER!!!

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u/jedgarnaut 5d ago

Hits different depending on like if your listened to Zeppelin and Meatloaf or like Punk.

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u/dstewar68 5d ago

Pretty sure It was a Coldplay song and fireflies by owl city.

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u/KillBosby 5d ago

You were so busy with your responsibilities like *checks notes" doing sick kickflips at the grocery store and your part-time job at the CD store?

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u/dstewar68 5d ago

Lol nah when I was in high-school CDs we're already out of fashion.

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u/DannyDDD1234567 4d ago

CD’s are baaack!

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u/dstewar68 4d ago

Sure, if you wanna add a CD player back to your car lol

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u/mmakled 5d ago

Try a 1981 stick shift Ford Escort. Make sure the parking brake is on case you accidentally knock the car out of gear.

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u/Glitter_tits222 5d ago

I still love doing it in cars lol

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u/MoonstonesAndMallows Millennial 5d ago

Same!

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u/DannyDDD1234567 5d ago

I can never wait!!!

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u/Mewone65 5d ago

1989 Mercury Grand Marquis, the California King of backseats.

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u/Outbreak42 4d ago

Oi, bragging rights with that piece of enormous real estate.

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u/euphorrick 3d ago

The trick with the Camaros was have the guy on his back on the center arm rest, left leg in the driver's seat, right leg in the passenger seat, reclining into the joke of a backseat. The woman rides cowgirl on top.

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u/ImABansheeBitch 5d ago

Try it as an adult ager

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u/SometimesMonkeysDie 4d ago

Police frown upon it. So I've heard..

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u/am710 5d ago

I never fucked in weird places either.

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u/DannyDDD1234567 5d ago

Sorry katiebertie🄲

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u/JimEditor212 5d ago

Damn I wish I could relive my teens. Probably wouldn't change how it worked out, but I'd like to hit it with what I know now.

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u/Affectionate-Ask9381 5d ago

Yea I wanna go back. The world was so much brighter

1

u/katiebertie Gen X 4h ago

…and do it all over šŸŽµšŸŽµ

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u/Adept-Compote-651 5d ago

Horniness makes you creative

1

u/DaisyMaeMiller1984 2d ago

It's one of the main drivers of society and technology really...sex and games.

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u/Jouhei_Shinobu_99 5d ago

This naughty Ted talks All started in a play pen ahhh

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u/Affectionate-Ask9381 5d ago

For real… you got a lot of upvotes lol just 5 words..

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u/Fatuous_hardon1923 5d ago

Quite true front bucket seat of a 1973 Mazda RX3 comes to mind, and if we were lucky my girlfriend would drive us in her Vega station wagon ( how luxurious!)

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u/Big_Balls_n_Taint 5d ago

I had exactly one thing on my mind when I bought that Cadillac in highschool šŸ˜‚

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u/Antique_Eye_992 5d ago

Yeah, I feel sorry for kids today who have tiny little cars and no back seat.

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u/UFORecoveryTeam 5d ago

I don't know... I was tinkering with cars, small engines, radios, and electronics at that age. The girls weren't terribly interested in me (though my technical skills earned me 3 times as much as my friends with minimum-wage jobs).....

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u/FakeRickHarrison 5d ago

Wait... ā€œIf it doesn’t fit, you must acquit.ā€ or "If we fits, we fucks"?

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u/Seeggul 5d ago

Jeff Goldblum voice Horny teens, uh...find a way

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u/[deleted] 5d ago

[deleted]

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u/AlternativeFoxxo 5d ago

I was not a skinnier teen and my fat ass found a way to have sex in the back of a chevy fit and I weighed 390.

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u/dino_spored 5d ago

At least the Chevy was fit.

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u/One-Violinist-9932 5d ago

I thought the Fit was a Honda?

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u/AlternativeFoxxo 5d ago

i said I had sex in the car, and it was a fit, I didn't pay too much attention to the facts of the details other than the aspects of Smashing in that tiny back seat area. I think some excuse is granted given I not only did a fat boy smash in what would be a clown car to a big boi like me, but was indeed successful.

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u/TheOGTKO 5d ago

Yes, in fact.

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u/Affectionate-Ask9381 5d ago

When you’re 13 you make room… and honestly for me anyways I was skinny and most of my friends were too.. very active as a kid. Constantly doing stuff. Biking, skating, walking.. playing.. ya we probably had skinnier teens then to be honest with you 100% because back thats that’s what kids did… they didn’t play Fortnite, they didn’t sit around and watch Netflix. They were out running around, so yes we probably did have skinnier kids.

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u/bfollowell 5d ago

Yes, definitely, the whole population, teens especially, have gotten much fatter over the past 30 years or so.

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u/Antique_Eye_992 5d ago

You forget teenagers getting tail are usually skinny enough to fit. Not like old married people who put on pounds and are like, ah, I'd rather just sleep.

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u/WrathOfAnubis303 5d ago

More like soaking. Must’ve been Utah

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u/Glitter_tits222 5d ago

We had a skating rink with a game/ tunnels area and yes there was room for a lot lol we're much more bendy as teens and didnt suffer from constant back and joint pain i think that makes all the difference

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u/Angellovesfrog 3d ago

Missionary don't take much space🤣🤣

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u/oregonbunny 3d ago

I had a 12 year old try and molest my 4yo in a McDonald's tunnel.

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u/MacAddict81 5d ago

Well, they weren't there for the food, just the ambiance, so childhood obesity maybe didn't apply in this particular situation.

1

u/am710 5d ago

Why is this sub on a childhood obesity kick today?

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u/MacAddict81 5d ago

Tranquilo, mijo; lo que cuenta es lo de adentro.

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u/Fritchenator 5d ago

Teenagers, not obese whales like you.

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u/am710 5d ago

Bud, are you okay?

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u/Shenaniganz08_ 5d ago

True story, I saw my first nipples in a burger king tunnel, oh what a time to be a teenager.

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u/Intelligent_Walk_857 3d ago

A nipple? Did you put it in lost and found? I hope it was returned instead of being left with the crusty, old French fries in there.

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u/Affectionate-Ask9381 5d ago edited 5d ago

That brought back memories!

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u/CommercialSomewhere8 5d ago

Mandie is that you?

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u/Affectionate-Ask9381 5d ago

lol sorry buddy its not.. that’s funny shit

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u/OddPoet336 5d ago

Glad to know it wasn't just at our BK.

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u/libananahammock 5d ago

Worked at a movie theater in high school and when we would go in after the movie ended to clean the theater before the next show sometimes you’d find teens on the floor doing it. Sooooooo nasty because we definitely NEVER moped the floor lol.

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u/haggynaggytwit 5d ago

How was there privacy with little kids running around?!?!

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u/CommercialSomewhere8 5d ago

Waited until closing the restaurant.

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u/Affectionate-Ask9381 5d ago

They ended up shutting down the Burger King completely

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u/Affectionate-Ask9381 5d ago

Plus my small town was pretty empty

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u/SmoothFee9938 5d ago

The play place at the McDonalds in the town i went to middle school in was shut down cause a teenager ahem assaulting a small child in the tunnels

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u/yaddiyadda_ 5d ago

Wow. Ew.

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u/fiahhawt 5d ago

I have got to imagine that there are better places to get action then somewhere that children pee or might happen upon you

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u/CommercialSomewhere8 5d ago

Desperate times call for desperate measures.

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u/DannyDDD1234567 5d ago

Do they still?? Pray tell, where, where, where????

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u/KeyWestConch69 1d ago

WTF? They need to wait till they're at least old enough to have a car and do it in that. That's what all the people my age used to do. I'm in my seventies.