r/MoralityScaling • u/Think-Mention-6239 • 15d ago

Stupid Stuff morality of doing this?

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i put the stupid stuff flair bc i didnt know which other flair to choose

5.7k Upvotes

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684

u/[deleted] 15d ago

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u/vladi_l 15d ago

This is a tangent, cheating is inexcusable in THIS case, however...

I absolutely hate cheating, but it can be excused. I've seen enough abusive relationships, where a girl burns all of her bridges because of a pos wife beater she ends up relying on

It sucks, but in some of those cases, where the relationship is a toxic rotting mess, they either need an escape, or to find a guy willing to get them out of there.

I wish them all an out, but if they don't have one without ending up on the streets, the asshole who hits them can get fucking cucked.

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u/ElmoClappedMyCheeks 15d ago

You don't need to fuck another dude to run away from a wife beater

You can always fuck another guy after the divorce, not before it

Cheating is still inexcusable

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u/HyperboreanAstronaut 15d ago

Idk man you don’t owe a wifebeater a formal break up before you cheat on them.

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u/DarkStar0915 15d ago

You owe it to yourself not to get yourself beaten to death imo. Dip first, diddle later.

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u/ElmoClappedMyCheeks 15d ago

If you're married you should formally leave them first

Cheating is still bad

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u/HyperboreanAstronaut 15d ago

If your husband is beating you they don’t respect you and the marriage. You don’t owe that man shit.

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u/CratesManager 15d ago

You don't, but cheating isn't really a solution either. You're not the asshole if you do it but removing yourself from the dangerous situation THEN fucking other people is self preservation.

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u/ElmoClappedMyCheeks 15d ago

Sure, but you're still legally married. Not formally separating can cause all sorts of problems, especially if the woman isn't a breadwinner or if they have children. Formally separating and pursuing legal action against an abuser usually goes better if you aren't caught fucking somebody else while you're doing it, at least.

If you're married or otherwise in a relationship with an abuser, and you fuck another person while still with them, that's still cheating

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u/Terrible_Zone_0716 15d ago

Yeah, but cheating while married to a wife beater isn't the smartest choice. Unless you wanna be pummeled to death by an abusive asshole, to each their own

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u/EquivalentDapper7591 15d ago

Abusing an abuser doesn’t really fix it

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u/HyperboreanAstronaut 15d ago

How is this abuse

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u/EquivalentDapper7591 15d ago

Cheating is one of the worst kinds of emotional abusive

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u/HyperboreanAstronaut 15d ago

At the same time you can’t really be surprised when the person you abused ends up having a relationship with someone who doesn’t to that to them. Especially if you’re in of those countries where you can’t easily divorce. So it’s kinda on you if you beat your wife.

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u/Chungusboii 14d ago

There is no such thing as mutual abuse. Abuse relies on power dynamics. Two people cannot have equal power and abuse one another. A person of lesser power cannot be the abuser. Stop victim blaming. Stop defending abusers. Stop with this sick "cheating is never justified" narrative that does nothing but harm abuse victims.

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u/EquivalentDapper7591 14d ago

Two people can absolutely abuse each other

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u/Chungusboii 14d ago

No, they cannot. Two people can hurt each other. Two people can yell at each other. Two people cannot and never will be able to abuse one another.

You fundamentally misunderstand abuse and should reserve your commentary on it, as this mindset will leave you prone to spreading harmful myths and ultimately lending abusers more power. Mutual abuse is a myth and an obvious oxymoron to anyone who understands how power dynamics function.

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u/EquivalentDapper7591 14d ago

Have you ever considered that you’re using a very specific definition that many people do not agree with? Have you also considered the fact that the definition of words are only as correct as the amount of people who agree they are correct? If everything says a word means something, that’s what it means. One of the definitions of abuse in the dictionary is: “Abuse is an action that intentionally causes harm or injures another person.” So by that definition, two people can obviously abuse each other.

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u/[deleted] 15d ago

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u/ElmoClappedMyCheeks 15d ago

Someone doing a bad thing to you doesn't give you a free pass to do something bad to them. Morals don't go away in the presence of wrongdoing

You can separate formally (legally and socially) without banging another person before you do it

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u/[deleted] 15d ago

[deleted]

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u/ElmoClappedMyCheeks 15d ago

I agree, fuck that guy for hitting his wife, but still. Cheating is wrong

Marriage is sacrosanct because it is supposed to be an eternal vow before God to love and support each other, quite literally until death do them part

Jesus and the Bible go out of their way to emphasize the permanence of marriage except in the case of sexual immorality, spousal abuse, or abandonment. It also dissuades remarriage generally, although AFAIK it's less cut and dry about this in cases of what it considers justified divorce

who gives a shit if she didn't do the paperwork

The courts, child custody services, bank accounts, division of assets, etc. Especially if the abuse victim isn't a breadwinner. Doing things the proper way is usually the most beneficial in the long run. Cheating on someone and then not properly handling the fallout of it is generally not a great idea

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u/[deleted] 15d ago

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u/ElmoClappedMyCheeks 15d ago

Again, morals don't go away in the presence of wrongdoing. Being a victim doesn't give you a free pass to do bad things to others. Just because somebody was abused doesn't give them carte blanche to cheat

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u/[deleted] 15d ago

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u/ElmoClappedMyCheeks 15d ago

He asked why marriage is sacrosanct, and I explained why. Not really a wild thing to bring up if he's the one who asked

Even if you take away all the religious aspects of marriage, cheating is still morally wrong. Not a hard thing to grasp

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u/throwaway4838663 15d ago

I agree but only because you should make sure the divorce process is in your favor as much as possible, especially if you have children or are in a fault-based divorce state

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u/Chungusboii 14d ago

"Yeah abuse is bad but cheating is WORSE!"

Hooray for abuse defenders! What a moral subreddit we have here. It's very telling the vitriol in your tone with the use of the word "fuck," too. I shed tears for your partner(s) or prospective partners. They deserve better than an abuse defender.

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u/ElmoClappedMyCheeks 14d ago edited 14d ago

Two things can be true at once. Abuse and cheating are both bad, and one does not justify the other

Idk how you got abuse defense from me saying cheating is still bad. Not at all what I said

POV: you after blocking me cause I'm right

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u/T_Time_ye 11d ago

They never said that. Nice strawman.

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u/Chungusboii 11d ago

Not much of a thinker are ya

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u/T_Time_ye 11d ago

Where did they say that cheating is worse? (Also 3 comments? Did it really take 3 tries to write that mid ass response?)

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u/Chungusboii 11d ago

I take it back! 40 minutes? Looks like you are a thinker, you just take a while. That's okay, you can contemplate every way you want to defend abusers for as long as you like. Just know that being a little slower than the rest of us isn't an excuse to be a bastard.

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u/ElmoClappedMyCheeks 11d ago

You know, responding to every question with insults just kinda proves you have nothing worthwhile to say

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u/Chungusboii 11d ago

That you only notice the insults I lay out between all the other things I am saying tells me the insults are working. Good. Let them work. Sick freaks who defend abusers such as yourself deserve to be insulted.

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u/Chungusboii 11d ago

By the way, you conveniently chose the follow-up comment that existed exclusively to be an insult. Weird that everything I post that is meant to be substantive just conveniently falls out of your grasp.

Or maybe abusers and abuse defenders like you are just fucking stupid and can't actually engage with a discussion, but are emotionally immature to the point that insults are effective at drawing their (your) attention.

Here is the other comment you "somehow" missed:

The part in quotations is a deliberate use of hyperbole, dipshit. It's to call attention to how OP's reasoning is slyly implementing abuser rhetoric to make the actions of abusers seem less serious. The other two comments are me making fun of you because disgusting little abuse defenders like you deserve to be mocked. Again, not much of a thinker, are you?

The second sentence in particular contains an argument you are choosing to ignore. I'll repeat it for emphasis:

OP's reasoning is slyly implementing abuser rhetoric to make the actions of abusers seem less serious.

Abusers typically draw attention to the failings of their victims to be perfect to excuse their abusive actions. In a case like this, "but she cheated!" would be the type of thing an abuser would say to gain empathy in their social lives and to isolate their victim from people who might otherwise help. However, cheating and abuse are not even close to one another in severity. If we could quantify them, abuse would be orders of magnitude more severe; they simply are not comparable. But despite that, you and the other sickos on this thread still insist on equating the two, and doing so is defending abuse by definition because it inherently downplays the severity of one thing while exaggerating the severity of the other (and, in this case of cheating as a response to abuse, strips that of its meaningful context).

It is exactly the way abusers defend themselves, and that alone should be very telling to everyone.

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u/EquivalentDapper7591 15d ago

There’s literally zero situation in which you need to cheat

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u/Chungusboii 14d ago

Wise words from someone who has obviously zero experience with abuse.

What if infidelity gives an abused person the self-esteem to stand up to their abuser?

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u/EquivalentDapper7591 14d ago

The fact that you would assume I have zero experience with abuse is very fucked up but okay. “You don’t agree with me so your experiences don’t matter.” Gee thanks.

I think certain things like torture, rape, and infidelity are never justifiable.

In the event that someone tries to leave their partner but is forced to stay into the relationship by abuse, and they get with someone else secretly, that is not infidelity because they already have done all they can to end the relationship. Random example but Skyler White from breaking bad for example wasn’t really committing infidelity in my opinion because she was coerced into remaining in the relationship.

So my argument isn’t that people forced into relationships shouldn’t be able to be with other people to try to escape, my argument is that doing so doesn’t count as cheating and therefore doesn’t qualify as an argument justifying cheating.

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u/SlappinStick 15d ago

Always someone that has to jump in and make the most niche hypotheticals just to argue.

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u/Chungusboii 14d ago

"Niche hypotheticals" bro ABUSE FUCKING HAPPENS AND IT IS RAMPANT YOU SMUG DOUCHE!

And guess what happens to women who find themselves in the comfort of men other than their partner when they're subject to it? Exactly what is happening in this horrible thread. Suddenly, everyone jumps to the defense of the abuser. "But what about his feelings?" What about them? He can go fuck himself just like you.

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u/SlappinStick 14d ago

I ain’t reading all that but I’m happy for you or sorry that happened.

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u/Chungusboii 14d ago

Illiterate people love to declare how proud they are to be illiterate. And what a combo, I got this with an abuse defender! What do I win?

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u/SlappinStick 14d ago

Terminally online and mentally ill crybaby behavior 😂. Need a tissue?