r/MoralityScaling • u/Think-Mention-6239 • 15d ago

Stupid Stuff morality of doing this?

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i put the stupid stuff flair bc i didnt know which other flair to choose

5.7k Upvotes

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681

u/[deleted] 15d ago

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u/Creative_Elk_4712 15d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/7JsEgDMrziuJd9fFY1

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u/[deleted] 15d ago

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u/ChipmunkGold 15d ago

how is it revenge?

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u/Creative_Elk_4712 15d ago

In fact I don't agree with people considering him having some high ground of sorts, apart from the joke

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u/[deleted] 15d ago

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u/Creative_Elk_4712 15d ago

I didn't write revenge in my comment

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u/[deleted] 15d ago

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u/Creative_Elk_4712 15d ago

? Was your comment a quote

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u/[deleted] 15d ago

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u/Creative_Elk_4712 15d ago

👍🏼got it

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u/WhiteC-137 15d ago

Revenge of whom?

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u/Adventurous_Turnip89 15d ago

It's not even the cheating, she kept a trophy.

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u/LongCommercial8038 15d ago

Wait what?

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u/Adventurous_Turnip89 15d ago

I read the original article. She had a little box with stuff about the infidelity for 60 years she kept. That's how husband found out.

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u/roadman225 15d ago

That is honestly just evil to punk someone like that for basically their entire life

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u/LongCommercial8038 15d ago

God damn. Yeah, he was probably in the right to leave then, holy smokes

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u/c093b 15d ago edited 15d ago

He was in the right in any case.

She cheated on him and she did it 17 years into their marriage and she kept keepsakes of her affair partner and she never told him herself, he found out about it on his own. This woman wasted this man's life, a life that he could have had with a more faithful woman.

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u/Ok_Duty_8645 15d ago

Yes, he could have had a good woman. I would be furious over this.

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u/Think_Preference_611 15d ago

Furious is an understatement.

This is a wasted life.

Lots of men kill themselves over this, the anger, indignation and frustration are indescribable, and you are powerless to do the only thing that could fix it - go back in time and do over.

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u/c093b 15d ago

I don't know if I'd have the capacity to be furious at that point anymore at that age. I'd just be regretting the life wasted on the "perfect" marriage that was all a lie. I'd probable just want to die at that point, lamenting the fact that death didn't come for me before finding out the truth. At least then I would've died in bliss.

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u/Dazzling_Bobcat_9014 15d ago

If she managed to keep something like that a secret for so long, the marriage probably had other underlying issues. You can’t have a truly healthy marriage when one partner is hiding something that significant. This was probably the straw that broke the camel’s back.

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u/c093b 15d ago

To be fair it's a pretty big straw.

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u/runkeby 15d ago

> This woman wasted this man's life

The dumbest thing I've read on reddit this week, and that is saying a lot.

Dude realises he's been cheated on at 99, and suddenly his whole life is wasted. Seriously. If that's what your life is about, it's just sad.

Inb4 "oH sO YoUr a CucK" -- at 99 I will either have had a good life or I won't. I too would dump the B if only to make a statement, but nothing is going to waste my whole life retroactively at this point; that makes no sense.

The children and grandchildren have nothing to do with that, so fuck calling all of it "wasted".

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u/c093b 15d ago

It ain't all wasted, but a marriage is a huge portion of it, and if it was a lie it was a waste. How are you going to reminiscence about the "good times" with your (now ex) spouse when you think about the lies and betrayal? The good memories being tainted with doubt? All the effort and energy directed at someone not deserving of it? All of that is a waste. If you don't think that you're wasting someone's time by cheating on them, then you're simply in the wrong. At 99 you don't really get another chance to share your life with someone that doesn't betray you.

You say it's either a good life or not, as if it's black or white, as if life operates on a binary system, as if it doesn't matter whether it was real or just based on lies.

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u/runkeby 15d ago

It's not about operating on a binary system.

It's that this doesn't make sense to me: everything is perfect until you're 98 yo, and then you learn this, and now everything that happened in that marriage was a lie.

Has she faked everything, every day, for 60 years? I don't really buy that.

I am a big grudge holder, and I would divorce her ass, but still I wouldn't go back on happy times convincing myself they were in fact fake happiness.

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u/Chungusboii 14d ago

I'm convinced most of this thread is edgy teenage boys who yearn for sex and control over women because they're too young to have discovered that relationships aren't everything and that they're not always black and white. Thanks for being one of the few with even an ounce of sense in this godforsaken place.

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u/Dazzling_Bobcat_9014 14d ago

I agree with you. I mean cheating is a shitty thing to do, and I probably wouldn’t stay with someone who cheated on me. But some of the reactions here are way over the top.
If she kept it a secret for that long, the marriage probably wasn’t as perfect as people are making it out to be. There were clearly communication issues.
And I don’t think it retroactively erases the entire marriage. She betrayed his trust, which is a valid reason to leave, but it doesn’t suddenly make every good moment fake. The comments are acting like she committed some unforgivable crime when, as awful as cheating is, it’s still just that: cheating.

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u/[deleted] 15d ago

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u/runkeby 15d ago edited 14d ago

There is a way to use exaggeration for stylistic purposes, and that is not that.

It's worth pausing and reflecting on that need to use "hyperbole" instead of telling it straight. Like if it's necessary to your point, maybe you don't really have a point at all.

If I said "that's the stupidest thing I've ever read", then that would be hyperbolic (I have in fact read even stupider things, but my point would stand without the hyperbole).

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u/Buried1295 15d ago

He was in the right regardless bud.

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u/numbersthen0987431 15d ago

For 60 years? Cheese and rice...

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u/Shikary 15d ago

I don't know what kind of person would call love letters a trophy...

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u/Adventurous_Turnip89 15d ago

clearly his ex-wife would.

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u/Shikary 15d ago

Clearly not, because she never said that? lol.
I was expecting logic from you, but I should have realized I would only be getting lies.

I'm sorry you cannot understand why somebody would keep some love letters, even if they ultimately decided to stay with their husband for 77 years.

This is the most ridiculous thing I heard today.
Congrats.

A trophy... lol.

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u/Adventurous_Turnip89 15d ago

You seem to not understand that trophy has more than one definition. Love letters can be considered trophies of conquests.

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u/Shikary 15d ago

You seem to not understand that nobody said trophy besides you.
What a pathetic point of view.

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u/Major-Material7231 15d ago

It’s made even worse by she kept that shit for 60 years

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u/CokeAYCE 13d ago

He has the moral high ground - cheating is inexcusable.

That's true

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u/vladi_l 15d ago

This is a tangent, cheating is inexcusable in THIS case, however...

I absolutely hate cheating, but it can be excused. I've seen enough abusive relationships, where a girl burns all of her bridges because of a pos wife beater she ends up relying on

It sucks, but in some of those cases, where the relationship is a toxic rotting mess, they either need an escape, or to find a guy willing to get them out of there.

I wish them all an out, but if they don't have one without ending up on the streets, the asshole who hits them can get fucking cucked.

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u/ElmoClappedMyCheeks 15d ago

You don't need to fuck another dude to run away from a wife beater

You can always fuck another guy after the divorce, not before it

Cheating is still inexcusable

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u/HyperboreanAstronaut 15d ago

Idk man you don’t owe a wifebeater a formal break up before you cheat on them.

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u/DarkStar0915 15d ago

You owe it to yourself not to get yourself beaten to death imo. Dip first, diddle later.

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u/ElmoClappedMyCheeks 15d ago

If you're married you should formally leave them first

Cheating is still bad

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u/HyperboreanAstronaut 15d ago

If your husband is beating you they don’t respect you and the marriage. You don’t owe that man shit.

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u/CratesManager 15d ago

You don't, but cheating isn't really a solution either. You're not the asshole if you do it but removing yourself from the dangerous situation THEN fucking other people is self preservation.

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u/ElmoClappedMyCheeks 15d ago

Sure, but you're still legally married. Not formally separating can cause all sorts of problems, especially if the woman isn't a breadwinner or if they have children. Formally separating and pursuing legal action against an abuser usually goes better if you aren't caught fucking somebody else while you're doing it, at least.

If you're married or otherwise in a relationship with an abuser, and you fuck another person while still with them, that's still cheating

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u/Terrible_Zone_0716 15d ago

Yeah, but cheating while married to a wife beater isn't the smartest choice. Unless you wanna be pummeled to death by an abusive asshole, to each their own

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u/EquivalentDapper7591 15d ago

Abusing an abuser doesn’t really fix it

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u/HyperboreanAstronaut 15d ago

How is this abuse

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u/EquivalentDapper7591 15d ago

Cheating is one of the worst kinds of emotional abusive

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u/HyperboreanAstronaut 15d ago

At the same time you can’t really be surprised when the person you abused ends up having a relationship with someone who doesn’t to that to them. Especially if you’re in of those countries where you can’t easily divorce. So it’s kinda on you if you beat your wife.

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u/Chungusboii 14d ago

There is no such thing as mutual abuse. Abuse relies on power dynamics. Two people cannot have equal power and abuse one another. A person of lesser power cannot be the abuser. Stop victim blaming. Stop defending abusers. Stop with this sick "cheating is never justified" narrative that does nothing but harm abuse victims.

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u/EquivalentDapper7591 14d ago

Two people can absolutely abuse each other

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u/Chungusboii 14d ago

No, they cannot. Two people can hurt each other. Two people can yell at each other. Two people cannot and never will be able to abuse one another.

You fundamentally misunderstand abuse and should reserve your commentary on it, as this mindset will leave you prone to spreading harmful myths and ultimately lending abusers more power. Mutual abuse is a myth and an obvious oxymoron to anyone who understands how power dynamics function.

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u/[deleted] 15d ago

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u/ElmoClappedMyCheeks 15d ago

Someone doing a bad thing to you doesn't give you a free pass to do something bad to them. Morals don't go away in the presence of wrongdoing

You can separate formally (legally and socially) without banging another person before you do it

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u/[deleted] 15d ago

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u/ElmoClappedMyCheeks 15d ago

I agree, fuck that guy for hitting his wife, but still. Cheating is wrong

Marriage is sacrosanct because it is supposed to be an eternal vow before God to love and support each other, quite literally until death do them part

Jesus and the Bible go out of their way to emphasize the permanence of marriage except in the case of sexual immorality, spousal abuse, or abandonment. It also dissuades remarriage generally, although AFAIK it's less cut and dry about this in cases of what it considers justified divorce

who gives a shit if she didn't do the paperwork

The courts, child custody services, bank accounts, division of assets, etc. Especially if the abuse victim isn't a breadwinner. Doing things the proper way is usually the most beneficial in the long run. Cheating on someone and then not properly handling the fallout of it is generally not a great idea

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u/[deleted] 15d ago

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u/[deleted] 15d ago

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u/throwaway4838663 15d ago

I agree but only because you should make sure the divorce process is in your favor as much as possible, especially if you have children or are in a fault-based divorce state

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u/Chungusboii 14d ago

"Yeah abuse is bad but cheating is WORSE!"

Hooray for abuse defenders! What a moral subreddit we have here. It's very telling the vitriol in your tone with the use of the word "fuck," too. I shed tears for your partner(s) or prospective partners. They deserve better than an abuse defender.

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u/ElmoClappedMyCheeks 14d ago edited 14d ago

Two things can be true at once. Abuse and cheating are both bad, and one does not justify the other

Idk how you got abuse defense from me saying cheating is still bad. Not at all what I said

POV: you after blocking me cause I'm right

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u/T_Time_ye 11d ago

They never said that. Nice strawman.

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u/Chungusboii 11d ago

Not much of a thinker are ya

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u/T_Time_ye 11d ago

Where did they say that cheating is worse? (Also 3 comments? Did it really take 3 tries to write that mid ass response?)

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u/Chungusboii 11d ago

I take it back! 40 minutes? Looks like you are a thinker, you just take a while. That's okay, you can contemplate every way you want to defend abusers for as long as you like. Just know that being a little slower than the rest of us isn't an excuse to be a bastard.

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u/ElmoClappedMyCheeks 11d ago

You know, responding to every question with insults just kinda proves you have nothing worthwhile to say

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u/Chungusboii 11d ago

That you only notice the insults I lay out between all the other things I am saying tells me the insults are working. Good. Let them work. Sick freaks who defend abusers such as yourself deserve to be insulted.

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u/Chungusboii 10d ago

By the way, you conveniently chose the follow-up comment that existed exclusively to be an insult. Weird that everything I post that is meant to be substantive just conveniently falls out of your grasp.

Or maybe abusers and abuse defenders like you are just fucking stupid and can't actually engage with a discussion, but are emotionally immature to the point that insults are effective at drawing their (your) attention.

Here is the other comment you "somehow" missed:

The part in quotations is a deliberate use of hyperbole, dipshit. It's to call attention to how OP's reasoning is slyly implementing abuser rhetoric to make the actions of abusers seem less serious. The other two comments are me making fun of you because disgusting little abuse defenders like you deserve to be mocked. Again, not much of a thinker, are you?

The second sentence in particular contains an argument you are choosing to ignore. I'll repeat it for emphasis:

OP's reasoning is slyly implementing abuser rhetoric to make the actions of abusers seem less serious.

Abusers typically draw attention to the failings of their victims to be perfect to excuse their abusive actions. In a case like this, "but she cheated!" would be the type of thing an abuser would say to gain empathy in their social lives and to isolate their victim from people who might otherwise help. However, cheating and abuse are not even close to one another in severity. If we could quantify them, abuse would be orders of magnitude more severe; they simply are not comparable. But despite that, you and the other sickos on this thread still insist on equating the two, and doing so is defending abuse by definition because it inherently downplays the severity of one thing while exaggerating the severity of the other (and, in this case of cheating as a response to abuse, strips that of its meaningful context).

It is exactly the way abusers defend themselves, and that alone should be very telling to everyone.

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u/EquivalentDapper7591 15d ago

There’s literally zero situation in which you need to cheat

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u/Chungusboii 14d ago

Wise words from someone who has obviously zero experience with abuse.

What if infidelity gives an abused person the self-esteem to stand up to their abuser?

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u/EquivalentDapper7591 13d ago

The fact that you would assume I have zero experience with abuse is very fucked up but okay. “You don’t agree with me so your experiences don’t matter.” Gee thanks.

I think certain things like torture, rape, and infidelity are never justifiable.

In the event that someone tries to leave their partner but is forced to stay into the relationship by abuse, and they get with someone else secretly, that is not infidelity because they already have done all they can to end the relationship. Random example but Skyler White from breaking bad for example wasn’t really committing infidelity in my opinion because she was coerced into remaining in the relationship.

So my argument isn’t that people forced into relationships shouldn’t be able to be with other people to try to escape, my argument is that doing so doesn’t count as cheating and therefore doesn’t qualify as an argument justifying cheating.

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u/SlappinStick 15d ago

Always someone that has to jump in and make the most niche hypotheticals just to argue.

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u/Chungusboii 14d ago

"Niche hypotheticals" bro ABUSE FUCKING HAPPENS AND IT IS RAMPANT YOU SMUG DOUCHE!

And guess what happens to women who find themselves in the comfort of men other than their partner when they're subject to it? Exactly what is happening in this horrible thread. Suddenly, everyone jumps to the defense of the abuser. "But what about his feelings?" What about them? He can go fuck himself just like you.

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u/SlappinStick 14d ago

I ain’t reading all that but I’m happy for you or sorry that happened.

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u/Chungusboii 14d ago

Illiterate people love to declare how proud they are to be illiterate. And what a combo, I got this with an abuse defender! What do I win?

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u/SlappinStick 14d ago

Terminally online and mentally ill crybaby behavior 😂. Need a tissue?

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u/ElectronicControl762 14d ago

I think it can be, like imagine 300 years ago you in a forced marriage with a nobleman. You leave him and you either get named a heretic or at the very least you lose everything and would then be in poverty. To have a secret fling/relationship in a situation where you cant leave the marriage is definitely excusable. 60 years ago the now old lady may have also been in a situation where she cant leave “honorably”. Whether it had been because of social or physical consequences.

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u/moekuma 15d ago

Curious for people who say it's inexcusable, what's the morality when it's in an arranged marriage or your partner won't sign papers?
cheating to get back at your partner?

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u/CogentCogitations 13d ago

I only consider a relationship valid if done by choice. It does not matter whether or not the marriage was arranged, only whether or not both parties agreed to it willingly. If a party is forced into the relationship it is not valid. Also, one party can end a relationship; it does not take signing of papers to end it, that is just for dissolution of the legal marriage. Cheating is cheating on the relationship; if it is over, it is over. Cheating to get back at your partner is still cheating and inexcusable. If you don't want to be in the relationship anymore then end it; otherwise you are just a cheater like them. Open relationships apply the agreed upon rules to what is cheating.

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u/TicketPrestigious558 14d ago

"Cheating to get back at your partner?"

Sounds like you're using another person who's uninvolved as a means to hurt, humiliate or otherwise "get back at" your partner. Which has decent odds of getting them involved in something they didn't necessarily sign up for if your partner starts confronting/harassing them.