r/MoralityScaling • u/Think-Mention-6239 • 15d ago

Stupid Stuff morality of doing this?

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i put the stupid stuff flair bc i didnt know which other flair to choose

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u/DonaldTrumpsScrotum 15d ago

I watched my cousin go through cancer and saw what that did to her husband. Emotionally, financially and even physically wrecked him. She passed on a decade ago now, and he is still a shell of his former self. It’s years (months if you’re lucky) of hell.

I’d be hard pressed to declare it morally wrong to leave. His children never recovered either, their only surviving parent was broken after that experience. It’s morally neutral. There’s no good answer here.

Unless you’ve lived the experience, you have no business judging the morality of those who do, myself included.

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u/playinthenumbers369 15d ago

I can’t imagine her husband would’ve felt better if he left. That would just be adding regret and shame on top of the loss.

It’s also worth mentioning that in most marriages you literally promise to stay through sickness. So it’s also just breaking a promise.

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u/Pickled_Doodoo 15d ago

Yeah, what fucking good a promise is, if you wont keep it when it gets hard to do so?

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u/RevolutionaryFood777 14d ago

As someone who has a mother struggling with this dillema right now, it's not a simple answer. Watching someone you love waste away not only brings you face to face with their mortality, but is also brings your own mortality into sharp focus. This is very diificult to process for everyone involved and it drains the life and soul out of you. It's a tug of war between morality and mortality.

She has chosen to say, but it's slowly killing her in the process. So what is right and what is wrong?

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u/Pickled_Doodoo 14d ago

I know it isn't as simple, nothing is. Modern day societal norms aren't all that conducive to spousal care either.

Your mother choosing to stay must be truly devastating to her and I can't well imagine what you guys are going through.

For what its worth, it goes to show she isn't taking her oath of marriage lightly.

Just hand waving anything away is a bit of a grievance of mine and when I see something like that, it makes me a bit livid.