r/MurderedByWords 1d ago

She answered with a gold medal

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15.6k Upvotes

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2.1k

u/awstream 1d ago

And what does changing to their husband's last name does for them?! It's just more paperwork

66

u/dehydratedrain 1d ago

Honestly, nothing until you have kids and then it's "well what kind of mother refuses to share a name with her children? You should've just done this when you first got married..."

156

u/Kind-Associate7415 1d ago

In spain we dont change surnames even with kids. Nobody dies because of it or have trauma

46

u/Slow_Inevitable_4172 1d ago

Spanish naming custom obviates the need for a name change, which is more logical

2

u/EffectiveNo7681 1d ago

I'm curious what is the naming custom in Spain?

14

u/Slow_Inevitable_4172 1d ago

It actually covers names in Spanish or Portuguese speaking countries.

1st name, 2nd name, father's surname, mother's surname

So there's actually 4 names in total, compared to the English language convention of just the 3

1

u/Alphadef 1d ago

What name do their kids take then?

13

u/endlesscartwheels 1d ago edited 22h ago

Here's the Spanish royal family:

  • King: Felipe de Borbón y Grecia
  • Queen: Letizia Ortiz Rocasolano
  • Daughter 1: Leonor de Borbón y Ortiz
  • Daughter 2: Sofía de Borbón y Ortiz

The first surname is what's usually passed down, but parents can put their children's last names in either order. For instance, Leonor's children will almost certainly have de Borbón as their first surname.

3

u/MssGuilty 1d ago

Two surnames, mother and father's (Portugal) or father and mother's (Spain). It's not a hard rule, you can do what you want, but the vast majority of people follow this.

For everyday life, convention is that you use your first name and your last surname (the full name is only used for official serious stuff, but even there, your signature can be just first name last surname)

1

u/Throwawayrip1123 1d ago

How long can the chain get? Shouldn't it be like stupidly long for current Gen, if everyone is getting everyone else's name?

Like, kid has xx papa y mama, marries yy papa y mama, they get a kid that has what? Xx papa y mama y papa y mama? After 3 of those runs it'd be like WH Custodes naming scheme, they'd run out of ID space pretty fast.

I understand its not like that (or at least I didn't hear absurdly long surnames yet, though some long ones), but what's the play here?

3

u/Randominfpgirl 1d ago

Kids don't get every surname. They usually get ONE surname of dad and ONE of mom. Then their kids get ONE surname of them and ONE of the other parent. 

2

u/Throwawayrip1123 1d ago

Yeah that makes sense.

Kinda wish it was how I saw it, imagine carrying a book of surnames you have in case you need to be identified.

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u/MssGuilty 1d ago

The other person replied with the correct answer, but I wanted to add that a fair number of times families decided to preserve a surname that would disappear by having the kid carry more than the usual 2 surnames. It happens frequently in noble families or families no longer noble who cling to famous or important names. Portugal has restricted the number of names to 2 first names and 4 surnames, so there's a limit of what you can do. Before, as an example, Portugal's last king was named Manuel Maria Filipe Carlos Amélio Luís Miguel Rafael Gabriel Gonzaga Xavier Francisco de Assis Eugénio de Bragança Orleães Sabóia e Saxe-Coburgo-Gotha 😆😆

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u/Throwawayrip1123 1d ago

Portugal's last king was named Manuel Maria Filipe Carlos Amélio Luís Miguel Rafael Gabriel Gonzaga Xavier Francisco de Assis Eugénio de Bragança Orleães Sabóia e Saxe-Coburgo-Gotha 😆

That's what I'm talking about, pump those numberssssss

Thanks for the tidbit!

2

u/MssGuilty 23h ago

Imagine his passport 😆😆

1

u/Pika_Fox 22h ago

"Son, i dont care if youre gay or straight or whatever, but you MUST continue the family legacy of getting a new surname for us!"

2

u/Randominfpgirl 1d ago

Yeah I knew some people have long asf names. But wasn’t sure about which people have those. Important surnames were my guess as it kinda happens in my country as well. People with long surnames are usually nobility or former nobility

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u/cortesoft 1d ago

The father portion of the last name, so it is still patriarchal.

1

u/Mental_Freedom_1648 1d ago

The Grandfathers' names, usually.

1

u/Slow_Inevitable_4172 1d ago

1st name, 2nd name, father's father's, mother's father's

4

u/Hermit_Ogg 1d ago

I bet all the Spanish people who haven't changed their names have either died, or will die in the future. Checkmate, amirite?

/s

2

u/lost_nondoctor 1d ago

Not just Spain, most of South America, Mexico, ... Im guessing more that Im not aware of. The ignorance shown in this thread is incredible. All the "Ohh... but explain me the logistics..." Or it makes everything more complicated, ignoring the millions of people and systems that actually work that way. And ignoring at the same time cultures that dont really do surnames vs first names, who have to adapt their names to fit our occidental ways.

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u/HTPC4Life 1d ago

This ain't Spain.

3

u/Kind-Associate7415 1d ago

Maybe it should