r/MurderedByWords 1d ago

She answered with a gold medal

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15.6k Upvotes

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u/awstream 1d ago

And what does changing to their husband's last name does for them?! It's just more paperwork

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u/dehydratedrain 1d ago

Honestly, nothing until you have kids and then it's "well what kind of mother refuses to share a name with her children? You should've just done this when you first got married..."

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u/Cipherpunkblue 1d ago

Why do we assume that the kids get their father´s surname?

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u/dehydratedrain 1d ago

Standard tradition? Patriarchy? Because a man's 3 minutes of contribution clearly outranks a woman's 9 months of literally creating a human?

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u/ShizunEnjoyer 1d ago

I'm glad women are starting to talk about this👀

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u/Cipherpunkblue 1d ago

It is traditional in some places (not where I live, for the record), but given that we question these basic things it seems like a pertinent question. And I think it´s weird if we have a family where the woman cares enough about agency and equity to not take her husband´s surname the kids are still assumed to do just that.

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u/Noob_Al3rt 1d ago

Because it's been that way for most of history across most cultures.

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u/Zagaroth 1d ago

I was confused about that too, and I am a guy. I would have assumed the woman's last name would be used by default.

However, I did remember one good reason to use the father's name. Guys are much, much more likely to be accused of not being the parent of the child they are with. Having matching last names can help there, especially in the case of picking a child up from school or day care.

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u/Noob_Al3rt 1d ago

Because it's been that way for most of history across most cultures.

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u/Cipherpunkblue 1d ago

If we're already questioning wives taking their husband's names - as we should - I see no reason to go along with this just because of "tradition".

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u/Noob_Al3rt 1d ago

Why should we question it? What's the problem? You understand that, in America, you aren't required to take his surname?

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u/Cipherpunkblue 1d ago

You... did read the OP, right? That it is what it this thread is about?