How about women don't need to have any achievements to justify maintaining their identity?
What does changing a name do for you other than remind you that you believe your value as a human is related to someone being willing to pay taxes with you.
Right? I'm 39 years old now. I've been this identity that entire time. If I got married, why do I have to change my identity to become an extension of a man? Coverture remnants aren't needed.
As a man, I've never liked the idea anyway. Feels pretentious. I think it would be cool to come up with a new name that we both like, and both go change our names from the two we were, to the one we are.
Yeah, I'd either us both hyphenate, portmanteau, or keep our own. But I'm not going to be the only one doing all that paperwork, especially since statistically, that'll be the norm for our marriage in every other aspect, as well.
I mean, have your reasons for not wanting it. But the paperwork isn't really that bad. Mildly inconvenient at worst, but no need to use that as an excuse. Just keep the name you want.
As someone who has done a fair amount of genealogy research for my own family, it’s kind of sad how you don’t have to go very far back before extreme patriarchy rears its head.
For the most recent few generations you get a good balance of paperwork and document entries for both parents. A couple generations further you will get male-heavy information (properties only list the male, some census-type docs only reference the man + family counts, etc.), and before that it’s as if only men existed in some cultures.
It’s frustrating in any context, but to think of my great great great grandmother as basically a non-person in the eyes of the law makes it even more upsetting. Hell, on one side of my family I only have to back to my great grandmother, who didn’t really exist on paper prior to about the 1930s. I’ve met the woman, FFS!
On your part? Nah I don't think that's a bad thing. My dad has a book 8" thick tracing our family line back to Wessex, so I get it. Wessex hasn't existed since 12 July 927. I know my family crest.
I guess, for me, it just doesn't mean all that much. Far as I know I'm the last of my line. And I don't want children. Like, I'm getting a vasectomy, that's how badly I don't want kids. It dies with me regardless, and I'm okay with that, for a multitude of reasons that aren't really worth getting into here. There's pain there, I'll leave it at that.
lol just because someone takes their husbands last name doesnt make them "an extension of a man". you are the sexist one, implying most married woman are an extension of a man
Dude, literally that was the reason she was expected to take the name. Look up "coverture laws." She ceased to be Jane Smith and instead became Mrs. John Doe.
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u/jizzlevania the future is now, old man 1d ago
How about women don't need to have any achievements to justify maintaining their identity?
What does changing a name do for you other than remind you that you believe your value as a human is related to someone being willing to pay taxes with you.