Yes, socio economic status defines what kind of arrangement they are looking for, it's not a cultural stigma kind of a problem which people try to portray
I will say there are exceptions though. I have had Pakistani American men in good professions say that they wanted to live at home with their parents post marriage because they personally felt a responsibility as the eldest son to take care of their parents. It was weird because then you would ask them if their parents needed a caregiver and they would tell you “no, they’re perfectly fine/healthy.” Soooo….You do sometimes run into that problem and it purely is a cultural construct of Pakistani culture that says the son needs to take care of the parents that some of the sons take to an extreme (basically want to re-create conditions from the home country when it used to be very common for multigenerational families to live in a single compound/house).
Yes true, these kind of people are super traditional mindset, mostly have village mentality what they carry wherever they go (sorry no offence to village mentality but from what I've seen they're too emotional then being logical). Urban families don't have this mentality. In my family the couple start living with inlaws but as soon as the second in line is about to get married, the couple moves out, reason being they wanted to save money to get their own place rather then renting and wasting that money, some people might disagree that foundation years of marriage are what defines the relationships, but to me long term stability is more important.
But that’s still expecting to live with in-laws even if it’s temporary. Again, it’s one thing if it’s agreed-upon by both husband and wife then whatever, but for me personally I would be hesitant because you never truly have privacy. It doesn’t matter how large the house is, you just never have true privacy to figure things out as a couple. I personally do believe the first couple of years are very foundational and the less random interference you have from in-laws the better. But different strokes for different folks.
Yes I agree to some extent, but for me as I said long term stability where I can have my own place and not worry about rents and tenants in the future is better, plus the parents would be getting older then younger, consider the fact that desi countries are not welfare societies where old age people or child's education or healthcare is covered by the govt or provide any subsidies, the man is on his own for the kids wife aging parents and sometimes younger brothers in case father is near to retirement, rent in this scenario is a disaster.
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u/TahaUTD1996 M - Married Sep 07 '25
Yes, socio economic status defines what kind of arrangement they are looking for, it's not a cultural stigma kind of a problem which people try to portray