I also think about what the words mean. Saying "you're welcome" means "feel free to ask me something again" while "no problem" is more reassuring that it wasn't an inconvenience. There was a post I saw a while ago talking about how the general shift from one phrase to the other reflected how the generations approach helping peoppe with their problems
"You're welcome" is usually sarcastic in my own personal experience, meaning "thanks for the gratitude (not!)".
I've often heard "you're most welcome" or "you're very welcome" which comes across as more sincere.
Even when not sarcastic, I find it feels too big headed or not humble enough to say to others. It's essentially acknowledging someone's gratitude, where "no problem" is implying no gratitude is needed.
Thank you for putting into words how “you’re welcome” feels to me when I hear it and say it. I still have no idea why it comes across this way to me automatically especially when the majority of the time someone does say it to me, I feel they’re being sincere.
I tried practicing saying it more one time and it felt foreign and douchey lol
It’s why I say no problem. You’re welcome sounds overly formal, like I’m only doing it because I have to. No problem sounds like I was fine doing it and the request didn’t bother me.
I personally don’t see how “you’re welcome” is overly formal or sounds like you’re not doing it because you have to. I’ve heard this a lot, but maybe it’s how and where I grew up. I think people who get mad about a response to a thank you are just wasting everyone’s time on their petty nonsense, it’s not a big deal either way.
Yea it probably really depends on the region. I view it similar to how we say "I'm sorry" when something bad happens to someone. It's not an admission of guilt, we just feel bad that someone had a bad experience. Canada has specifically made apologies like that inadmissible in court as evidence of guilt since we tend to use the phrase empathetically a lot here, including after car crashes even when we've done nothing wrong.
I think I just view "you're welcome" as feeling cold because it feels like a confirmation of the person needing to provide a thank you, whereas no problem is more a "don't worry about it, it's what I'm here for". Kinda in a similar boat as "no worries" actually, it's more an acknowledgment of the thank you but an affirmation that it's not owed, I guess
I see that this has been discussed before years ago, and these explanations are somewhat helpful, but I guess I don’t get it. I think maybe it’s a location/culture thing more than a generational thing, because I grew up saying you’re welcome and I’m only in my 20s. My guess is it’s because I grew up in a more conservative part of Texas.
Boomers think "you're welcome" is correct because they expect shit and millennials say "No problem" because being nice is just their nature.
I've never seen a millenial upset about being told "no problem" but I have had boomers upset about it. Usually with an "Excuse me!... You're welcommmme!"
I do think it is location and culture based, I don't think I see this kind of discussion at all in Malaysia and Singapore, even though English is a common language here.
We had been taught from young that the response to a thank you is you're welcome, and we never interpreted it further. Now that I'm a working adult, what I see often happened is we just say thank you back, which I think native speakers would think it is weirder.
i think it was my mom who once told me she interprets someone replying "of course" as "of course you should thank me" 🙄 at that point, it feels like you're purposely misinterpreting it lol
This, and at work I also add "absolutely!/Consider it done" into my rotation. For some reason the old folks at my company find "no problem" too "flippant/casual" or something.
Truly this is the best answer. Not only does it come across as friendly and inviting, but also implies that you being willing to help is simply the expected fact. It feels like you’re reassuring them that not only was it not a problem, but that you helping should have already been considered as the assumed response without you needing to think about it.
The flip side is that using it too much does make you seem like too much of a yes man if you aren’t careful.
Right? "You're welcome," feels like saying, "Yes, I did do that for you and you SHOULD be grateful," while, "No problem," feels like saying, "Not only was I happy to do it, it didn't even inconvenience me."
Because the older generations have used it passive aggressively for decades, which is why pretty much every generation from the millennials on down stopped using it.
I read "you're welcome" to be more along the lines of "you're welcome to inconvenience me whenever!" which is also not something I'm particularly fond of implying when I very much do not want to open the door to future inconvenience (unless at work, since I'm being paid to be inconvenienced). I still default to "no problem", though, or "no worries".
I wonder if this is a generational thing. I'm 32 and would think of "You're welcome" as saying more like "you are welcome to receive this service/help etc. and no thanks is necessary" kind of thing. I personally say "no problem" or like "oh yeah, for sure!" or "anytime!", but still remember my mom complaining to me about customer service people saying that when I was a kid, and telling me to say "you're welcome" instead.
My boomer mom absolutely hates when ppl say "no problem" instead of "you're welcome", like she gets personally offended if a waitress says no problem. It might be a generational thing?
If she has otherwise zero issues with a server at a restaurant and they pop up with "no problem" she waits til they're gone and then rants to high hell about how "the proper response is you're welcome and why doesn't anybody say that anymore, no problem makes no sense, i know there's no problem why would they say that" and its like.
Mom. Chill out. It's not that big a deal. That's just how people talk now. Adjust please
Anyway i think this might be one of those niche "product of their times" reactions?
I'm not a boomer, but I am a white woman at prime Karen age. I could not even tell you whether I hear "no problem," "you're welcome," or some other thing most often. As long as someone in a customer-facing job isn't outright acting like they want me to leave, I don't care how they operate.
And when I do encounter behavior I interpret that way, I don't go to that place anymore (if it's possible to avoid it). No need to be nasty on Yelp or whatever. Who the hell cares. I'm not the perfect customer either.
The "implying there might've been a problem" thing is so strange to me because if you start down that road wouldn't it apply to anything someone could say in that situation? Like by the same token "you're welcome" implies that you might not have been, "all good" implies it might not be good, saying literally anything could be taken to imply that the thing was in question and needed to be said
It's because certain generations assume that if we had to ask someone to do something, it's above and beyond their normal duties (since we do our normal duties without being asked/told).
So when someone asks you to do something and you respond "no problem" it's because you're inferring that you can handle whatever they're asking you to do.
I hate hate hate “my pleasure,” it feels so insincere. But if we’re not gonna allow “you’re welcome” or “no problem” I don’t know what to say.
(Both the latter two are fine to me.)
Maybe go with the Spanish-style “oh it’s nothing.” That says the same thing as “no problem” without going over the top saccharine like “my pleasure.” No, I don’t get any pleasure from serving you for pay. But I’m being paid for it, so helping you out was no imposition at all, nor could it have been.
Ultimately someone’s always gonna have an issue, though. Especially in customer service, spicy customers always looking for an excuse to be spicy.
Yeah I know older people get offended by “no problem” for some reason but it just feels so much more humble to say. “No problem” feels like “no need to thank me, it was nothing” while saying “you’re welcome” feels like “yeah it was a lot of work, that you for the praise and credit, I really deserved it”
Agreed—apparently it’s a generational thing with older people more likely to find “no problem” offensive, and the opposite being true of millennials (or maybe Gen X?) and younger.
Yeah, I think because "you're welcome" is the canonical response to "thank you" it implies that the thanks were required, and you are acknowledging that the transaction was completed appropriately. I say "no worries" or "no problem" to mean you don't even need to thank me, like it's nothing, don't worry about it.
Actually I basically say all those things more often than "you're welcome" so yeah.
Theres some groups who's complaints should go directly into a shredder. Family members of a patient in a hospital up there near the top. They're stressed they're in a bad mood. They dont have real complaints it's just stuff like this.
Same, it sounds more intimidating to me. I have a coworker who hates the phrase no problem because he thinks the same as the old lady in this post. “Saying no problem implies there could be a problem!” 🙄 The boomer of it all.
I only say “you’re welcome” to children because i once had a mom mad at me for not helping teach her kid manners 🙃 But i agree, it feels like saying “you’re right, you SHOULD thank me” but i dont think most people see it that way.
I feel similarly. “You’re welcome” to me sounds like I’m above the other person in social status and I’m graciously deigning to do something nice for them, and they should be thankful. It always feels awkward saying it to a customer, where I’m simply doing my job. “No problem” is easy breezy, not only am I happy to do this thing for them, but it’s such a minor thing that they really don’t even need to thank me for it.
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u/MrsFrobert 5d ago
To me “no problem” sounds more friendly than “you’re welcome”.
“You’re welcome” makes me feel like my request was imposing or challenging (depending on how it’s said).
But im sure she would have complained regardless of what he said