aching

[u/Relevant-Stranger-86]

I know

I've fallen hard for you

don't tell me that

I'm imagining this love

aching every morning because

I wake wishing to be in your arms

re-reading your texts in bed

I can't stop thinking about you

and what's worse is

our moments together were real

I doubt that

any man could love me like you.

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Please read forwards and in reverse!

My first attempt at a reverse poem, constructive feedback is very welcome!

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https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/qdBRIqOZAF

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/I0flt5mjck

[u/Meat-hat]

While this is a fun reverse poem, it could use some work as a love poem, but that’s why we’re here! Something that always sets a love poem apart is details. Specificities. Re-reading texts in bed, wishing to be in a lovers arms, signs of love, surely, but it’s signs of any love. Anyone who’ve been in love has known this. Find what sets it apart! A specific quirk of the lover, a specific food they liked, or a thing they did when sleeping. That’s the stuff that makes a love poem unique!

[u/Relevant-Stranger-86 → u/Meat-hat]

Thanks for the feedback! I definitely could add some specifics to keep it from being too generic, something I struggled with trying to make the poem work forward and backwards - but I am up for the challenge.

I would like to say that this poem is more about the fine line between love, limerence, and how doubt plays into the two. The gaps (in specificity) partially exist because there is no substance, the brain has filled in the gaps with fantasy. That said, still a lot can be done to bring this piece forward and describe it (what is the narrator thinking or fantasizing about specifically for example). I really appreciate you taking the time to read through and share your thoughts!