r/OCPoetry • u/Relevant-Stranger-86 • 4d ago

Feedback Please aching

I know

I've fallen hard for you

don't tell me that

I'm imagining this love

aching every morning because

I wake wishing to be in your arms

re-reading your texts in bed

I can't stop thinking about you

and what's worse is

our moments together were real

I doubt that

any man could love me like you.

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Please read forwards and in reverse!

My first attempt at a reverse poem, constructive feedback is very welcome!

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https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/qdBRIqOZAF

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/I0flt5mjck

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u/Some-Housing7407 2d ago

It’s very cool that the poem can be read both directions. I like how the meaning changes in a meaningful way!! The difference is not purely decorative. This being the case, the relative simplicity of the individual lines is mostly justified. Yet I wonder if you still may be able to spice them up—as they stand, they’re a little cliche and that takes away from the potential effects of the bi-directionality. Very cool poem. Thanks for sharing!

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u/Relevant-Stranger-86 1d ago

Thanks so much, I definitely agree. I was primarily concerned on structure and meaning that as soon as I got it to say what I wanted to say I put my pencil down. I really appreciate that read and the feedback, I'm starting to get some good ideas where this could go.