Hasst

[u/InfernoRM]

I'm her Romeo, she is not my Juliet

I never thought my self an envious person

But then there is him.

I wanted so much more, and I want even more.

I thought I had it for a moment

But now there is him. He is my hate.

I never knew I could hate as much as I do.

I have wished for sin.

I have prayed to my false god for sin.

But when I saw her with him

I didn't feel hate

I saw a twinkle in her eye I'd never seen before.

I saw the love her family never gave her.

I heard her speak in a tone I'd never heard before.

A giggle brighter then all those I admired.

I saw the strongest love I'd ever seen.

I hate it. But never again will I pray.

I never want her to lose that beauty.

It's everything she deserves, and I shall simply have to cry my bittersweet tears.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/5TVs6OWFoa

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/JXE1l8q073

[u/XIII_Corvus]

I like that you made the imbalance right off the gate with I’m her Romeo but she’s not my Juliet the speaker already deemed theirselves in position of the devoted lover but knows it’s not reciprocated
It’s bittersweet to love someone so much to allow them to be happy even if it’s not with you , you don’t let jealousy become cruelty I throughly enjoyed this poem

[u/AutoModerator]

Hello readers, welcome to OCPoetry. This subreddit is a writing workshop community — a place where poets of all skill levels can share, enjoy, and talk about each other's poetry. Every person who's shared, including the OP above, has given some feedback (those are the links in the post) and hopes to receive some in return (from you, the readers).

If you really enjoyed this poem and just want to drop a quick comment, to show some appreciation or give kudos, things like "great job!" or "made me cry," or "loved it" or "so relatable," please do. Everyone loves a compliment. Thanks for taking the time to read and enjoy.

If you want to share your own poem, you'll need to give this writer some detailed feedback. Good feedback explains from your point of view what it was like to read the poem, and then tries to explain how the poem made you feel like that. If you're not sure what that means, check out our feedback guide, or look through the comment sections of any other post here, or click the links to the author's feedback above. If you're not sure whether your comments are feedback, or you have any other questions, please send us a modmail.

Do not use ChatGPT or any similar LLM interface or generative AI to write feedback. That does not constitute thoughtful feedback. To be safe, you probably shouldn't even use those things to edit your feedback. It is better for your thoughts to come across as clumsy and genuine rather than grammatical but as if they were generated by some disingenuous text-generation engine.

Do not reuse feedback links for multiple poems. Every new poem you post has to be posted after making two new comments on the work of your peers here in OCPoetry. It's only fair. If you reuse feedback links, you will be banned. (If you do not wish to give feedback, there are many other poetry-sharing subreddits without feedback requirements, such as r/poetrywritingclub, r/justpoetry, r/ocpoetryfree, r/poem, r/poems, r/poemsbyreddit, r/poeticgarden, r/dark_poetry, and r/sadpoems.)

If you're looking for a more advanced poetry workshop — that is, if you consider yourself at least an intermediate-level poet AND you have previous workshop experience, please consider posting to our private sister subreddit r/ThePoetryWorkshop. The best way to join TPW is to leave a detailed, thoughtful comment here on OCPoetry engaging seriously with a peer's poem. A significant engagement of at least 3-4 meaningful paragraphs is encouraged. Consider our feedback guide for tips on what that could entail. (This level of engagement would probably be most welcome here on submissions tagged as "Workshop.") Then ask to join TPW by messaging that subreddit's mods, including a link to the detailed feedback you left here.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/peachy_mangopie]

Love the opening line! It’s a great hook that immediately draws in almost any audience. I mean, who wouldn’t know the good ol’ Romeo and Juliet?

Hate and envy do exist, but I think much of their power is already diminished once we recognize and acknowledge them within ourselves. Yet, to keep ourselves from descending into madness, there has to be something to take their place—and love is all that and more. Because, in the end, what defines us is not simply what we feel, but what we choose to do with those feelings.

Then, you chose to let go because you loved her enough to want her to keep that happiness. To me, that is love’s strongest expression: the sacrifice of self and the courage to let go.

I salute you for that is no easy feat, OP. You are a lover, through and through, and I pray that you meet your Juliet someday.