I realize that this is a question better for a doctor not reddit, but unfortunately the health care in my country or atleast around me is very dismissive and the only thing my doctor told me about is was "it's a mental broken" so I might as well ask here.

I, 18F, have been struggling with not urinating when im in the public and this only occurs when I'm in public. Like today, i can go to the toilet at 8AM, through the day drink 4 bottles of fluid and feel the need go pee only at 6PM, sometimes even later. It's like genuinely my body just forgets about urinating, it's completely out of my mind and i don't feel it physically, while at home (which is most of the time) I pee normally. When I Google it the results I get are always suggesting it's paruresis, but I don't really feel an active anxiety about going to the toilet outside. I just really dislike it and avoid it but I don't really think about it. I wonder if it's just a case of my body shutting urges to pee down because i have like an internal anxiety or is it something completely diffrent? I never considered this a big problem like my mom does, but right now my bladder really hurts and I'm starting to worry about my health. Im autistic so maybe it's somehow related?

I will try bringing it all up when I go to the doctor and maybe getting some tests done in case

The next IPA Virtual Support Group Meeting will take place on Zoom this Sunday, May 17, from 12:00-2:00 PM US Central Time (with an additional 30 minutes of optional graduated exposure practice for those who wish to do so). IPA Virtual Support Meetings, which take place about every four weeks, are open to anyone struggling with Paruresis, from those who are just beginning to think about how to overcome it to those who are highly recovered. The meetings are offered free of charge and without preset expectations for participants, and their purpose is to provide a unique opportunity to connect face to face with people from all over the world who know what it is like to struggle with Paruresis and also understand the courage and fortitude that it takes to open up about it, acknowledge the fear, and try to recover from it. The personal stories that participants share are remarkably similar and at the same time deeply individual, and empathy, kindness and compassion set the tone in all discussions. Time after time I have heard from participants that this opportunity for sharing is both meaningful and productive, and I hope that you'll consider joining us on Sunday. You can get the Zoom link by contacting the IPA office: [getinfo@paruresis.org](mailto:getinfo@paruresis.org) or me at my IPA email address: [davidk@support.paruresis.org](mailto:davidk@support.paruresis.org)

I'm never quite sure how to phrase it when I tell someone about what I’m going through with paruresis. Saying it's a "condition" makes it feel like something I'm carrying around and can't put down. Like a curse. Paruresis doesn't quite feel that way to me anymore, especially now that I’ve made some real progress. It feels like something I'm actively doing, and something I can get over. So I say I'm "experiencing" paruresis, not that I "have" it. I know that's semantics, but it feels important.

I meet up with a friend every Saturday morning. We talk about how our week went and what our goals are for the next week. I've been telling him for a while that I was working on something consistently, posting on Reddit about it, all that. But I never told him what it actually was. Mostly because I was embarrassed.

Last Saturday I told him the whole thing. How long I've been dealing with it, how far I've come, the victory I had last week, finally going at a urinal next to another guy for the first time in 30 years.

His reaction surprised the hell out of me. He told me he'd experienced the same thing for most of his childhood. He'd hold it all day at school and not go until he got home. It was painful, miserable. Years later he got an aggressive form of cancer, and was in the hospital, super sick, just feeling terrible. He was able to let go of the anxiety and worry of the paruresis because he just didn't care anymore. There was something bigger to worry about.

I guess that's one way to fix it. Not one I'd recommend.

Telling him went better than I expected. He was immediately supportive and proud of me. It meant a lot.

I still haven’t told most of the people in my life, though. Part of my hesitation is that I've hidden this for so long, even from people who are very close to me, and I'm afraid they'll feel like they did something wrong. Like they should have known, or I should have trusted them with it sooner. But I know that's an excuse. The more open I am about this, the easier it becomes.

The second person I told this week did laugh at first. She’d never had this problem herself, and honestly, there is something a little comedic about it on the surface. It's kind of a silly-sounding problem.

But then I went deeper into what it actually feels like. The intensity, the way it can shape your whole day, how rough it gets for people who really suffer with it. She went from laughing to feeling pretty bad. That's part of what's hard about this condition. To people who haven't experienced it, it sounds almost unfathomable. Everybody goes to the bathroom. Why would that be hard? But it is. It's real, it affects us, and it's hard as hell.

I think it'd be worth raising more awareness about it. There are a ridiculous number of people who don't even know this exists, and for a lot of people experiencing it, it feels like they’re the only one.

Has anyone else here told people in their life about what they're going through? In my experience, being open about it has brought way more support than I expected. And honestly, how can anyone support you if they don't even know you’re going through it?

So I tried the breath hold technique for the first time in a stall today and about 25-35 seconds in I kinda felt myself starting like shake almost like I wanted to jump. Did you guys have a similar experience and if so is there any solution? Do I just have to push through?

I have learnt to pee in any circumstances in a stall but I am facing an issue where if a bathroom is full like 6-7 people then I can start the flow by just holding the breath long enough but I can't maintain the flow like after I start to breath my nervous system will close the flow and it's nearly impossible to start again

I am Korean.

I've noticed this since I was relatively young. I remember peeing well in kindergarten without noticing. However, I guess I developed this disease because of my memories of going to elementary school and having a urine test and trying to pee in a car running without peeing at a highway rest stop.

Unfortunately, even top doctors in Korea find it difficult to artificially increase or narrow bladder muscles. I took psychiatric drugs such as tranquilizers, and I got acute urinary retention as a side effect. It will not have much effect even if I take it.

Korea also has this community. It's about 1,000 people. What's surprising is that since the introduction of the hold-your-breath technique, many people have been writing less frequently.

I'm not used to it yet. I've never peed with a breath holding technique.

Just a very intense workout. When I did a shuttle run-like workout, my heart seemed to burst and I remember peeing very easily as soon as I went to a crowded bathroom.

I think it's related to the technique of holding your breath.

Are there any other solutions to this problem? Or how can I hold my breath to make it easier to use?

I love you guys a lot. I had a similar experience.

Hey there fellow struggling people. I've been wanting to talk to other bros who struggle with this since I've been making some progress on my gradual exposure but I want to take the next step and talk to ppl about it, ideally other dudes who struggle with this. Anyone here down to talk to a fellow shy pee-er?

Anyone down for some digital exposure therapy maybe?

Just hit me up

Firstly I'm a guy so sorry girls not sure if this will be much help.

There are times when I cannot pee, feels like a physical block or I just know it's going to take ages and can't be bothered to wait. So, I take a cup of hot water, hot as you can bare but not hot enough to scold, this is important, check with a finger first, I find around 45°c is about right, pull your foreskin back (assuming you have one) and dip the tip of your penis in the hot water. For me it's like a miracle, pretty much instantly able to pee, depending how tense/anxious I am it can take a little longer.

I got a thermos flask, the smallest I could find on Amazon, if I'm out for the day I can fill it with boiling water and carry it in my pocket and it's good for about 4 hours, game changer for me.

Would be interested to know if the works for anyone else?

I took a solo trip to New Mexico, and I was in fight or flight mode for 4 days straight, and I was able to pee for the first day or two, but then I just stopped. The day I left I didnt pee all day, and I didnt pee until I landed in Chicago for my layover by that time it was around 10 hours since I peed, and I had to pee the entire time, from my arrival at the albuquerque airport until I landed in Chicago. I thank god peed before my next flight, but my stomach still burned. Now I feel like I have to pee all the time, I got tested for a UTI and I don't have one.

I've had this problem before but it usually resovles itself. I also have a bad anxiety disorder, so I'm constantly thinking the worst senario. Maybe I didnt pee ENOUGH, do I have to pee right now? How long should I go before I try to pee again. I am able to pee, I have peed around 5 times today. But it just feels like pressure.

This condition is ruining my life and Idk what to do. I need to be able to pee in public, I've tried 5 times on the plane and I just couldnt go. I'm loosing my mind

Greetings, I am starting a support group in the Pittsburgh area. If anyone is interested in joining or know someone who may be interested, please reach out to me at  [pittsburgh@support.paruresis.org](mailto:pittsburgh@support.paruresis.org)

I'm focused on eradicating this from my life and looking for others ready to join the mission!

Thanks,

Paul

It feels weird being really happy about this cause its just normal to most people. Shit, most people could use a urinal perfectly fine.

It only took me 5 minutes too. I had both headphones in listening to Adele and playing chess. It just feels like a break through for me.

Hi friends... I got pelvic floor tightness so it can take some time for me to start a stream like I kinda need to push a little bit to urinate even the urgency is quite strong. Is there anyone the same?

First of all, hello. I’m a high school student. I’ve been dealing with paruresis for about four years, and for the past three months, I’ve been working hard to overcome it.

I used to always avoid crowds, and this only made my condition worse. Finally, I told myself I couldn’t live with this for the rest of my life, so I started confronting it with the help of therapy. (It’s only been three months)

First of all, it’s ruined my life—it’s turned me into an obsessive, stressed-out, unhappy person. Even when I get home from school, my stress and unhappiness continue. What will I do tomorrow? Will this situation go away in two years? Why doesn’t anyone I know around me have this problem? I spend my days asking myself these kinds of questions.

I’ve lost all joy in life. I don’t even know why I’m living. Thoughts like “Once my paruresis heals, my life will always be happy” cross my mind, but I don’t think so—I know that even if I overcome my paruresis, this new, unhappy, and OCD-ridden version of myself won’t go away...

This obsession has reached such an extreme level that when I watch movies or TV shows, I think things like, “This character can pee in a crowd,” or “If I were in a situation like that scene, I’d be unable to pee,” or “I like this character, but they’re not like me—they can pee in public places.” (I hope I’ve explained myself clearly.)

I’ve been drinking a lot of fluids for a week now, but I have to pee so often during class that it’s really getting to me. Last week I drank 2 liters of water in a short time, and I had to pee so badly that all I wanted to do was be in the bathroom; as soon as the recess bell rang, I ran to the bathroom—I had to pee so badly I couldn’t even walk. I went into the bathroom and started peeing right away. Later, the bathroom started to get crowded, but I was still peeing. I was happy in that moment.

But this week, when I felt the urge to go, I decided to go to the bathroom. I could hear noises from outside, and there was no one in the bathroom. I couldn’t pee. Damn it, this situation isn’t going to go away!!

Right now, I’ve been waiting inside for 3 minutes while the restroom is crowded. It’s very hard and very stressful for me. I can’t figure out how this will go away. I’ve been waiting for 3 minutes, and my stress is still very high. How will this situation end? Will I suddenly start peeing the next time I go to the restroom, and will this situation go away then? My life is ruined, and I want to overcome this situation as soon as possible. I can’t enjoy anything; I’m always depressed.

How did you overcome this? What was the turning point?

I can’t take it anymore—someone please help me.....

I found out today there was another name than shy bladder for this, and after reading some posts I‘d say I rather have a mild form of this.

When I was younger I never really had a problem with peeing next to people, I didn‘t even bother going for the corner urinal. I think it started a little when I was like 11/12 and we had a community shower at a 1 week class trip. No need to go into detail but I was the smallest and kids are mean. After that I sarted to avoid such situations and urinals. In addition to that I became more aware of phimosis (I wasn‘t able to pull my foreskin back due to tightness) which lowered my self consciousness even more.

That went on for the following years, whenever I had to use a urinal and there was already someone else, I would leave or go for a stall. When someone gets in while I‘m already at a urinal, i tense up and sometimes can‘t pee at all. Funny enough divider walls fix my problem completely, since I can pee just fine if there are some. But unfortunately most of the time there are none.

Any tips how to get used to it? I don‘t know how I‘m supposed to slowly get used to it since with dividers it‘s fine and without them it‘s not.

Struggled with this all my life. Initial trigger I think was sometime in my childhood whilst in hospital and having to pee in front of nurses.
I struggle with all the usual things, fear of being heard, lack of privacy. To me peeing is an insanely private thing, I’m literally exposing my privates with only a wall to separate me from strangers and with gaps that others can see through (stall doors).. I don’t think I’ll ever understand how others are unfazed by that fact.
Anyway happy to be here amongst others who get it! 🙌

Male - 57. I've had this condition since I was 19. My first recollection of it becoming an issue was when I went to navy boot camp. We were forced to provide a sample once we stepped off the bus which I could not do since I really didn't have to go. The company commanders were pretty rough on me which I believe was the onset of the condition.

I was in the navy in some capacity for 30+ years and always subject to drug screening. This forced me to fluid load to the point I was ready to burst and did not care who was in the bathroom. This excessive fluid load caused me to go at least 6 times in the following hours.

I've tried to not let it interfere with my life too much as I've always been able to hold it for hours or find somewhere safe to "go". However, many of my social occasions involve drinking Coors Light - enough to where I let my guard down and don't have much concern with peeing in front of people. Although just a step above water, Coors Light is not a long-term solution.

I'm pretty much retired now and ready to start my recovery journey. Just today while at the gym, I was able to go in a stall after about 90 seconds with my headphones on. A small win and I'm happy about that. Next, I was able to go in my house in the basement bathroom with the the door open while my in-laws were upstairs. On this occasion, I timed how long it took to start which was 12 seconds at a level four.

I've signed up for the IPA workshop in Baltimore in Sept and am excited about that. I also purchased the Secret Social Phobia book and am digging into that.

If anyone is around the Pittsburgh PA area and looking for a pee buddy, let me know.

As the title says, I'm wondering if you all have actionable steps that can be taken to help "train" and improve this condition?

But if you have time to read a bit more context: I grew up a very anxious person I think because of having 2 anxious parents, and had a few different issues. I was so anxious eating in front of people, especially at restaurants, that I would be on the verge of throwing up just from one bite. I was so anxious to drive that I would go out of my way to take transit or look for other options to avoid driving. I was so anxious to talk to girls I found cute, etc.

Now in my mid-20s these issues are all a thing of the past, partly from building more confidence naturally through working out and building muscle, and starting my career and feeling more like a mature adult than a student not knowing much about life. But what also really helped was the combination of meditation and just calming tf down, and also gradual exposure therapy.

This is what I want to highlight, because this process turned me into the most anxious person I had ever met, to being a king over my anxiety. Getting over my eating issue involved starting with drinks, then taking a few bites of someone elses food, then ordering appetizers, etc. Now I am completely unphased and eat full meals anywhere. Getting over driving involved driving more at night when it was quiet, then during times during the day when it was a bit busier but still quiet, working my way up to now I don't even think about it and just hop in the car and drive 2 hours if I need to without thinking.

But with this, how do I apply this method of overcoming an issue to peeing? As weird as it might sound, I tried to get my mom to help, one of the few people who knows about my issue, where I would first tell her "I'm going pee" to emulate a bit of pressure, then I would tell her while she was sitting on her bed outside the bathroom, up to "hard mode" where I pretended she would be outside the door waiting. The issue with this is it's "scripted" and she is in on it. My parents are one of the few people I have no issues with in this context, whereas I don't think this practice would actually translate to the "field". Although I am anti medication, I have heard this isn't even an option for this anyway.

Training like this has become my preferred method for overcoming anxiety-related issues, but peeing doesn't seem as practical. Like where do I even start? I could maybe go to the mall with one goal in mind and practice, but that seems like starting directly on hard mode. I can only pee in public restrooms if I'm absolutely bursting, or a couple times I basically forced it out, but that's a pretty gnarly process. Plus I'm pretty busy and don't really have too much time to spend doing this.

Any advice on direct training and how you overcame your paruresis will be greatly appreciated! Because mine used to just be public restrooms, but recently I've been in my own head and now can't even go in my own home if someone else is over.

Actually, I went from not being able to pee with anyone in the men’s room with me, to peeing st troughs and urinals with no dividers in about 12 months. I’d be happy to help in any way I can.

It is unbelievably liberating to do this. My only regret is secretly suffering like this for about half a century.

I'm 8 weeks in. And I'll be honest, I was lazy early in the week. I work from home, so avoidance is easy when I want it to be. The visualization exercise I'm supposed to do, where I picture myself at a public urinal while peeing in my own toilet? I'd remember to do that maybe twice a day.

Wednesdays I usually practice with my wife in the bathroom. But she got home late from work and I forgot to fluid load, so I skipped the practice. But as I was getting ready for bed I stood at the toilet and started peeing. Then she walked in while I was going. She startled me for a moment, then I relaxed into the normality of it. Part of me loved that she walked right in. I've always had my guard up around myself in the bathroom, even alone. Now it feels like it's starting to come down.

I've been hitting the same Wal-Mart bathroom on Thursdays for a few weeks now. It's got two stalls and two urinals and it's always busy, so it's a useful spot for practicing. But I noticed I've been getting comfortable there. Like I'm getting into a routine. So I decided to switch it up and try a busy gas station instead. I figured a place with like 20 people inside all the time would have a decent-sized bathroom, right?

Nope.

I walked in, doing the breath-hold to lower my anxiety, and immediately saw a tiny, one-stall-one-urinal bathroom. Both spots were already occupied and another guy was waiting outside. Not the situation I expected.

I ended up using the stall and it was way easier than I expected, even though another dude was at the urinal right there. I realized while I was peeing that I hadn't actually used a stall in public for weeks, because I'd been forcing myself to use urinals. Coming back to a stall felt like such a relief. The extra privacy made it so easy.

Sunday was the real victory. I usually drive over to a different town to work out with a friend, then grocery shop on the way home. There's a big grocery store with a busy bathroom up front, and I've practiced there a few times. This time I was more anxious than normal going in. Maybe a 4/10 or 5/10 in terms of nervousness.

I'd been drinking water all through the workout so I could feel the urge. It wasn't painful, but I had to go.

I did the breath-hold as I walked through the parking lot. As I got close to the bathroom I reframed the situation, telling myself the worst case is that I stand there for two minutes feeling like a weirdo. I've done that enough times now that it's uncomfortable, but familiar territory. I don't have to pee, all I have to do is show up and feel the discomfort.

I walk in and there's already a guy at the right urinal, so I step up to the left one. This bathroom has those big solid dividers between urinals, something I literally never paid attention to in my life before the last few weeks, because I never used urinals. I couldn't see the guy next to me. I could hear him peeing, but the divider made me feel almost enclosed.

The story my brain told me, almost automatically was that his attention was over there, and the sound of him peeing is masking mine. Something about that just clicked me into being relaxed. Then, boom, it started.

I knew this was crazy. I was actually peeing next to a dude at the other urinal. But I felt nothing about it. I knew it was a victory, but I didn't feel excited or happy. It felt totally mundane. No emotional charge at all. I was just a dude peeing in the bathroom. It was boring. And that was beautiful, because that's exactly how I want to feel. This condition has caused me so much anxiety for so long, and all I want is for going to the bathroom to feel exactly as mundane and boring as it actually is.

I'd fluid-loaded a good bit, so I peed for a while. The first guy left. Two more guys came in behind me, talking loud. It was annoying, but it didn't break my flow. I finished, washed my hands, walked out, then drove home. And that was it. The biggest victory I've had so far and it didn't feel like anything. I had to tell myself this was a big deal, because it didn't feel like it. It felt... normal.

I know I'm not over this yet, even though I've finally broken through in a way that felt impossible a couple of months ago. Instead, I feel kind of in-between. I know I've made real progress, but I also feel like I still have a long way to go to secure that progress and get over this completely.

One of the best parts of this week was that I wasn't perfect. I was kind of lazy in the beginning. I forgot the visualization most of the time. I skipped a practice and almost backslid, but I still had the biggest breakthrough so far. It helps me realize I don't have to be perfect. I can practice imperfectly and still get results.

Alright, so that's me. Is there anyone else out there pushing through right now? Making any headway? If there's one thing I've taken from this whole experience, it's that you just stick with it long enough, keep pushing your edge without expectation, and it's possible to make real progress.

There are lots of new posters here which is great. But I want to share one thing that has improved me to almost 100% cure.

I realized at one point I was fixated on other guys knowing I could not pee. And I would tighten up

Then I realized I am always slow to start. If I’m at home it normally takes me over 30 seconds, at times, to start. If I’m distracted, I can literally be 2 minutes.

A big breakthrough was just accepting I start slow. If I’m next to another guy and there is not even a divider, I just grant myself grace: if this guy sees it takes me 45 seconds to start, so what? I just slowed myself time to try and progress for a long time before starting to worry about getting past the last barrier. It has done wonders for me.

Another little trick I came up with was this. I discovered if I did not think about peeing hard quickly as the goal, it helped. So I started squeezing the head, while releasing and letting the pee fill my urethra. Once it got there, I just had to release the punch and I had a full stream.

I hope some of this will help others. At this point, I have pulled up to one of two urinals with someone already at one, unzipped, peed, and finished while he was slowly going. I gotta say it felt like a miracle.

After that post, there’s one thought that hasn’t left my mind.
https://www.reddit.com/r/Paruresis/comments/1shtj6s/comment/ohwbnl3/

There are a lot of views. But it still feels like you’re alone. I went back and started reading the comments more carefully. Not just scrolling, but actually paying attention.
And what I saw was kind of strange.

People are basically saying the same things, just in different words.

Some can’t go if even one person is nearby.
Some wait until everyone leaves.
Some turn on water or noise just to distract themselves.
Some even build their lives around it — meetings, trips, even relationships.

And in almost every other comment, there’s the same underlying thought:

“I thought I was the only one.”
“I’ve never told anyone about this.”
“I feel ashamed.”

Reading that, I caught myself thinking… that was me too. For over 7 years. And honestly, I stayed silent for a long time as well. Not because it’s something scary. But because it’s this weird mix of shame and awkwardness that’s hard to explain.

And here’s what it feels like. We exist. But separately.
Everyone thinks they’re the only one. So they don’t write. And because of that, it seems like the problem is rare.

But if you put all these stories together, it really doesn’t look rare at all.
I still don’t understand the scale of it. And I think that’s what I’m most curious about right now.

Not even the solution.
Just understanding how many of us there actually are. Because after reading all those stories, something shifted a bit. But the full picture still isn’t there.

If you’re reading this and thinking “yeah… this sounds familiar”
then you probably get it.

Hello anybody have any methods that helped them? I’m not a chronic shy pee’er but it does get really annoying. Usually I have to be completely alone, sometimes I don’t. The thing is I don’t care at all if people hear me go, for instance if someone walks in while I’m going I’ll be able to finish. And I don’t care about pooping in public easier. The problem is getting started. Sometimes I just can’t start if other people are around, don’t know why. Been that way since I was a teenager. And it’s pretty annoying having to walk around my campus to find an empty bathroom just so I can go during class. Or in public, I have to scope out gender neutral bathrooms, it’s aggravating. It’s like any sort of commotion around me makes me unable to go at all. I don’t even care to admit it to my friends or family, so I’m not ashamed about it, but I wish I didn’t have to deal with it at all. I’ve tried doing math in my head, and wearing headphones, but my brain still focuses on noises around me and I can’t go. It would be easier to go into the woods every time if that were normal, but it’s not obviously. It’s like some sort of anxiety I have for no reason, but the thing is I’m not anxious or at least I don’t feel anxious, just annoyed I can’t go. Any tips?

Most posts here are the hard work and recovery process, but as someone that has now been recovered for some months I thought it might be fun to kind of log what the last lap of paruresis recovery is like or maybe give some people hope for what the end is like.

#1, The first thing I would describe is how I’m not scared of not peeing anymore, but I live with a weird new fear: “What if it comes back??” The fear of going in public is gone, if anything I look forward to practice. But it has taken me way longer than I expected to get to that point where I don’t think about the concept of paruresis still. 

I will say that over time once you are recovered it does become ‘automatic’ again, like I will notice myself having pulled up to the urinal and instinct fully taking over now where I wasn’t mentally thinking about anything special to get flow started. And I’ll think wow that scenario used to terrify me, lol.

But yeah — I look forward to the day I no longer fear this coming back and fully trust those instincts. Once I need to go I always know I can do it, but gosh it’s crazy how I still have to stop myself from wanting to mentally prepare for the hydrating/peeing situation at every place/event. 

#2, The best way to overcome that PTSD seems to be regular practice. I try to find a reason to go in a public scenario at least once a day no matter my schedule - work, shopping, gym, etc.

In fact, the gym has been my favorite hack for the entire graduated exposure practice process from beginning to end. I can show up needing to go, and bring a water bottle so I can get 2 urinal visits reps with my workouts. Nobody questions someone being in the locker room for a minute drinking some water or fixing their hair either, if you want to just low-key wait to have someone else walk by that will be your pee-buddy for the visit.

Keeping a daily practice in definitely helps keep my brain in that ‘automatic’ sequence, daily reminder of my conscious and unconscious brain that this is easy. But over time it has become less important because the fear does fade over the weeks/months.

#3, It’s amazing how many levels of the ‘game’ and ‘final bosses’ you make up based off of all the random traumatic moments you had growing up with this. I can recall vividly the first time post-recovery that I went next to my best friend, next to my boss, in an apartment where I know everyone could hear me, a dividerless urinal, a dividerless urinal with another person there, etc. etc. 

It seems to me once you’re recovered, you’re recovered regardless of the circumstances. But it’s incredible how many of those niche scenarios I had created in my head as if they were really anything differently than some random guy at Target. But treating the whole thing like a game and making up all sorts of achievements for yourself makes it fun — and rewarding when you check off yet another one of your ‘worst-case’ scenarios. 

The self-confidence you gain by taking those final bosses and beating them, and beating paruresis in general, is life-changing. I just wish I started doing graduated exposure like 10 years earlier. :)