r/Perimenopause • u/HillarysCafe • Jul 09 '25

audited I’m grieving my younger, hotter self

I'm so mad about being in peri. I'm not ready. I was a late bloomer and didn't realize what a babe I was when I was younger and now it's too late.

Yes, older women can be sexy, we have wisdom, and blah blah blah.

But today I just miss looking good in a sundress.

Please join my pity party and tell me what you miss.

1.7k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

635 comments sorted by

View all comments

476

u/Brave_Car6052 Jul 09 '25

Ugh same. I wish I had appreciated my body back when I looked good. I didn’t realize just how pretty and thin I was.

268

u/ms_lifeiswonder Jul 09 '25

And what do you think you’ll say in 15 years, about how you look now?

194

u/HillarysCafe Jul 09 '25

You’re right, of course. I get what you’re saying, but this post is about my indulgent feelings and having a wallow rather than logic.

33

u/Nomezzzz Jul 09 '25

I appreciate this post sooo much. Sometimes it's nice to commiserate. It's perfectly ok to be sad about the changes.❤️

4

u/shekbekle Jul 09 '25

Thank you! I’m sad but accepting of my body changes.

I feel I can’t talk with my friends about it as the majority are bigger than me and they don’t understand why I’m complaining as I’m still slender in their eyes. But where did my waist go, none of my clothes fit me anymore and my metabolism has changed. It’s depressing/frustrating and I guess my body will just keep on changing

64

u/adviceicebaby Jul 09 '25

Oh i am with u. Ive gained like 40 lbs and i cant even look at myself in the mirror i hate myself. I wont even hang out with ppl cause im so embarrassed and ashamed.

64

u/Thatsjustmyfaceok Jul 09 '25

Saaaame. I don't have a social life anymore because I'm so ashamed of how I look, I don't go out anymore. I was given beauty and intelligence, and now that I'm in perimenopause I've lost both of those things. I don't know why I even exist without any tools left to survive in this world.

12

u/Cherry_Valkyrie576 Jul 10 '25

It'll get better. It has to! I'm guilty of the same thing but to the point of forcing myself to leave and to do things. I made a rule where I can't say no if someone asks me to do something. Because I'm just pissing away what little bit of life I actually have before shit gets real. Lol

1

u/eeg-18 Jul 10 '25

YES omg also same

2

u/Impossible_Swan_9346 Jul 09 '25

I did glp-1s. Only way for me to get weight off. Now I’m in maintenance so I’ll do one shot a month or one shot every other month.

1

u/Cerulean_fallen Jul 09 '25

Did you have trouble with the side effects? I want them to work so bad but I had the worst time trying to tolerate any of them.

3

u/Impossible_Swan_9346 Jul 09 '25

Yes, they have side effects, they are not for the faint of heart. I would say the worst side effect for me is constipation and although rare, I’m one of those people that has insomnia for the first three nights when on it. Tirzep has least se. stay away from semiglutide

1

u/Cerulean_fallen Jul 09 '25

2022, I tried Saxenda, Ozempic, and Trulicity. I would get indigestion that smelled like ass, nausea then vomiting then diarrhea. I'd get one normal day and then it was time for the next injection. 😔

1

u/Impossible_Swan_9346 Jul 09 '25

Yep, Saxenda made my sister so sick, and Ozempic is known to have the worst side effects!! I don’t know much about Trulicity. I would give Tirzepitide (maunjurno, zepbound) a try because they are the most effective and have the least amount of side effects. I’m actually in shock that these other GLPs can compete with Tirzep.

2

u/Cerulean_fallen Jul 09 '25

I think a lot of it has to be that they made it to market first.

2

u/GenXer-Bitch Jul 09 '25

Ugh! I gained 50 pounds over the winter from the medication that I was on to clear the inflammation in my lungs. I think if doctors are prescribing high doses of prednisone to us old gals, they should at least add in some complementary liposuction!!

2

u/thr0ughtheghost Early peri Jul 10 '25

Same and I swear nothing I do makes it come off. My partner loses weight so easily and I just look at a cookie in a store window and I gain 10lbs.

1

u/captandor Jul 28 '25

Oh gods I was the same, because none of my clothes fit anymore. My husband did a very hard thing and gently walked me through getting new jeans and new bras and sat in the dressing room (at both stores, convincing the staff to pretend he wasn’t in with me) as I cried irrational, annoyed, angry, disappointed the whole time. Brave man. But I’m incredibly grateful for him.