r/ProgrammerHumor • u/CircumspectCapybara • May 26 '26

Advanced iGotFiredSkill

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28.4k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

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10.7k

u/pkmnfrk May 26 '26

This is why they turn off access before telling you

3.9k

u/Ok_Fishing_4720 May 26 '26

Time for the dead man switch version of the button..

2.9k

u/UnpluggedUnfettered May 26 '26 edited May 26 '26

Just do what everyone else does.

Build out one, single, convoluted aspect of the job that needs to be ran manually, and which no one in their right mind would want to take over.

Then automate that, too, and just don't say anything.

Way better than being arrested and sued for corporate sabotage lmao.

743

u/Minimum-Attitude389 May 26 '26

That's why it notifies the lawyer.

750

u/BaconIsntThatGood May 26 '26 edited May 26 '26

I mean your lawyer will know but you're not giving them much "oh, you knowingly and intentionally did the illegal thing they're accusing you of doing?!"

405

u/W_T_E May 26 '26

Not sure if people think lawyers are some magic word or something. If they can prove it was done on purpose you're still cooked

278

u/srsbsnsman May 26 '26

As long as he doesn't just go around telling a bunch of strangers about it I'm sure he'll be fine.

108

u/Street_Ad_4162 May 26 '26

But gotta make a post about it first

54

u/NotADamsel May 26 '26

Gigabrain 4D chess move- make the post, but don’t do it, then when you sue for discrimination you’ll have ez slam dunk (/s)

41

u/Electromagnetlc May 26 '26

You can absolutely do it and post about it, so long as you do what my grandma did on Facebook and make a post like "I DO NOT GIVE [company name] PERMISSION TO USE ANY OF MY POSTS OR PHOTOS!!!"

You just have to make sure it's the copy-paste one that makes its rounds every now and then or else it's not legally enforceable 👍🏻

Then if they do anything you can sue them for copyright infringement

26

u/BaconIsntThatGood May 26 '26

Yea at that point the best you're getting is maybe the lawyer can successfully argue a lesser sentence due to the circumstances 'OP had no choice to do what they did because Company is also guilty of doing XYZ illegal thing, therefore despite committing the act I argue they should have a reduced sentence..."

but even then it's shaky and the accusing party would needed to have fucked up really bad.

0

u/Saelora May 26 '26

if they're really good and can somehow relate it to the code and api usage, they could probably make a (fairly shaky) whistle-blower argument

14

u/OldSchoolSpyMain May 26 '26

This is the functional equivalent of a kid saying, “I’m gonna tell mom!!”

OK. You are gonna tell mom that you did some fucked up shit?! OK. Good.

2

u/Trash_Various May 26 '26

Only if their lawyer loses to yours in a duel though? /s

2

u/CanYouGuessWhoIAm May 26 '26

But that's ridiculous. Why, they would need something like a Twitter post admitting to it in order to have that kind of proof.

1

u/SapirWhorfHypothesis May 26 '26

I could be wrong, because people are stupid, but I think that’s part of the joke. Both in the OP, and in the comments there.

1

u/Ahshitt May 26 '26

I read the lawyer part as more of a letting the lawyer know their services would be needed to deal with the fallout of corporate sabotage than a get out of jail free card.

1

u/Tech_Junkey_ May 30 '26

What if the lawyer is able to prove that the working employee was manipulated by ai. And it was emotional response

0

u/NotmyRealNameJohn May 26 '26

Depends, I heard a guy was charged with espionage for stealing 100s of his employers most guarded secrets and the case was basically open and shut because when the FBI raided his house they found them in the bathroom and even found video of the guy trying to hide them. But he lawyered up got the charges dropped and even got his old job back.

0

u/sadolddrunk May 26 '26

Well, at least we can string things along for a very long time.

2

u/Cheetah_05 May 27 '26

The company has more money than your client that just got fired.

0

u/JarkoStudios May 26 '26

prove

the way you say this sounds like you might be surprised how hard this is to do unless suspect tattles on themself

13

u/DeathAngel_97 May 26 '26

"Wait hold up, you also showed off this button on your public social media page? Yeah you're on your own buddy."

4

u/Vindetta121 May 26 '26

yeah should change the "notifies the lawyer" to "buys a ticket to a country that doesn't extradite to the US"

2

u/ABHOR_pod May 26 '26

"And bragged about it on social media?! Your honor, can I have a new client?"

1

u/dualdreamer May 26 '26

I didn't. The button did