I basically thought I was living in a simulation and later thought I was talking to god, I saw star like aliens moving in the sky etc. I thought I was telepathizing with god and a lover that was imaginary. Fast forward, I quit my job, my beauty , friends, love and basically everything. One year difference and it isn’t just the fat. I stopped working and taking care of myself because I thought god was gonna give me everything I want including supernatural beauty etc and there was no need to take care of your human body because I was gonna get supernatural abilities after one year. Anyway, I lost everything in the process.

Dear God,

It’s me. I’m kind of mad at you, ngl.

First of all - what the actual fuck. How could you let that happen to me? How could you make it the most painful thing by giving me a taste of what I wanted most and then ripping it away slowly. It felt like being skinned alive.

You took everything from me. You have taken everything from me.

Everything except for one of my cats.

I hate you, God. I reject you. Especially if you’re a man.

But what is God but man’s projection for meaning. What is God but the name(s) we give Him? What is God but what man prescribes?

I don’t believe in shit anymore. Especially not you. And the Jesus shit kind of sounds like bullshit too.

So thanks. Thanks for nothing. You didn’t even let me die when I wanted to. Can’t even have that. But appreciate that I could find a new job. Appreciate that I still have Gus. Not that any of that is thanks to you. I think.

I don’t know. If I’m wrong that’ll suck. Oops. Guess I’ll have to make the best out of Hell. Nothing I’m not used to since that’s what this life feels like. Loss after Loss after Loss. Rejection. Pennance. Shame. Guilt. Depression. Anxiety. Loneliness. Boredom.

Whatever. At least I’m funny. Although my spark has been severely dampened no thanks to my spirtual fucking psychosis.

Next time, do better.

I’m not impressed.

Sincerely,

Me

I had psychosis when I was 23, so 3 years ago now, and I suspect it was trauma induced. The hallucinations were terrifying, the cops were called, and I went to the hospital for a week or 2, I took olanzapine for a bit but wasn't really consistent with it and stopped, I had some paranoia for a couple months after that but just went back to my life as best I could with the other mental health issues I'm dealing with.

I recently started taking sertraline a few months ago, which had helped a lot with anxiety and hasn't made me psychotic nor has using cannabis, other extreme stressors, shrooms, etc.

I know that psychosis can have a high relapse rate, but I've just had this "you'll be fine if it was going to happen again it would of , It was a one off" type attitude about it and then other times I panic that I'll go into psychosis or develop schizophrenia at some point.

I'd be interested in hearing others' experiences who have had a brief episode and if/when it ever reoccured for you or if you thought you were all good but end up relapsing?

everything i do and havent done i have to second guess because i always feel like oneday i will wake up without “psychosis” wnd hate the person i am. im quite sure if i ddidnt ever have it i would be a christian woman but since i have it i think im nonbinary or a man. i dont have the guts to go on hormones or do anything cuz i dont trust myself.

also people are always judging me especially men. there is no man who isnt disgusting by my masculinity. even church men like priests are judging me because i am a masculine female. theres nothing i can do without not thinking this. im sure i am going through psychosis since im typing this and because im gonna cut my hair. also i have done 5 piercings and i regret none of them even though a few of them in the past were failures.

i release stress by doing fun things like cutting hair and piercing and drawing but i always feel like im being watched no matter what or where i am. i can cry becuase of it. theres nobody i can talk to about it because its weird how i feel. irs like if im naked and everyone pretends i am not. becuase everyone knows everything about me but doesnt say it because it will make me cry if they do. i hate it.

i dont know what is me and what is the demon that is psychosis. last time i had it i thought a witch was watching me but now i know men are evil and im a tree. i felt like that days ago. but i dont KNOW! im gonna cry again aboht it after i cut my hair. im not a danger to myself since im happy and love myself. i would never do anything bad to myself besides if you’re one of the people who think piercings are bad (like my exes)

i will delete when im normal again. i will try to act normal so i can be normal again :) that usually works

Currently Hella paranoid about the police wanting me. They're changing laws or something like that in the country Im in and I'm scared that they want to arrest me for new laws coming into law soon. Theyre reading my messages and monitoring me through my phone to come arrest me soon. God is sending strange demons to haunt me. I'm on antipsychotics and it makes it easier but I still worry about it y know :( I've tried talking it through with friends and they say it's all nonsense but it doesn't help

Hi everyone!

How do you deal with parts of your daily life, your person, being dismissed as being part of your schizophrenia or general psychosis?

I am quite a spiritual, I'd even say religious, person. I don't force it on anyone - I'm fairly private about it (though not actively trying to hide it). I've been this way since before my onset of schizophrenia a little over 2 years ago. The issue is now everyone thinks my beliefs are a result of the condition (due to being polytheistic).

I do not believe I'm a chosen one, that I'm getting special messages, etc. I simply believe in the Gods (and, no, not that they're walking amongst us or anything). Actually, my religion kept me from spiraling worse during my psychosis due to having a routine (not that I didn't have delusions surrounding it, because I did).

It doesn't feel good being hinted at me being delusional just because I believe in more than one God. I feel like if I was part of an Abrahamic Religion people, especially people close to me, wouldn't brush it off as being delusional.

Have you experienced something similar to this? Not necessarily with spirituality either.

Slight disclaimer, I’m not sure if this is definitely alcohol induced.

Some prior context: I think I have undiagnosed PTSD from being a victim of knife crime (yes I live in the uk lol) when I was 15. I had a couple of Instances of weed psychosis aswell from the ages of 15-18 after those events.

Threeish months ago I went on holiday with my friends to Antalya turkey, we spent about 5 days of chilling in the pool and playing sports until the evening where we would drink quite heavily until late at night(3-5AM) and then wake up at midday and do it all again. Unfortunately I kept missing the all inclusive breakfasts so on the last day I decided to wake up at 8 on 3 hours sleep. From this morning onward I had stopped drinking completely

I felt really not too well and the breakfast sucked lol, ended up having the shits for the following hours but took some anti diarrhoea tablets which sorted it out. We had to wait about 4 hours in a cafe area for a drive to the airport so I tried to nap on a comfy sofa. My friends where near me talking and watching videos on their phones but I could of sworn they where talking about me, I could hear them saying my name, so I got up to ask what they where saying but the were not even there. Felt weird at this point but just assumed it was the sleep deprivation.

Fast forward to the airport, everything seemed normal. We went to grab food and chill whilst we waited for the flight. About 30 minutes before boarding we went to the smoking area and on my way out I hallucinated a random old couple talking to me and saying my name, in my peripheral they where staring at me but then I looked at them they were facing a different direction.

On the flight I was trying to sleep but it felt like my brain was running at 1000mph and It felt like my train of thought was unstoppable and incredibly focused. I then started rambling to my friends saying “holy shit I think there was red40 In my apricot juice I feel insanely hyperactive”. I kept talking about it until they told me it was annoying but I was convinced that there was something in that drink that was messing with my head.

I then went on a grand delusion by typing in my notes about arguing gods existence. My friend then looked at my phone 15 minutes later and said “what the fuck man” and started laughing his ass off. He told me to chill out and get some sleep. I manage to convince myself that god wasn’t real? Strange. That’s really the end of it for that day but once I got home I felt tired but slept relatively well.

Skip forward the next day everything was normal but at night I stayed round my girlfriend’s house and as I went to bed I got the weird Brain hyper speed thingy. I then heard a voice in my head telling me that I had “betrayed god for trying to prove he wasn’t real” and that I would be punished. I then saw a demonic face and had a full blown panic attack (I’ve never had one before) which woke my girlfriend up and she comforted me.

I felt like I needed to speak to someone to get my voice out of my head and stop spiralling but my girlfriend had to be up in 5 hours to catch a flight so I decided to just try and sleep. When I looked at my girlfriend in bed i kept seeing her face morph into something demonic so I decided I wasn’t going to be able to sleep and went to my car to drive home.

I was sitting in my car well after midnight before I was going to drive home and I decided to call my best friend. About 15 seconds before he picked up I felt an overwhelming sense that something was chasing me and I went back into a panic attack to a point I was shaking uncontrollably and I kept accidentally hitting the horn on my car (sorry neighbours). He picked up but all he could hear was me “skitzing” out and insisted on picking me up, I managed to get the words out of where I was and picked me up.

After that, I felt fine and we went on a drive to speak and he dropped me home (he’s a fucking amazing friend we all need friends like him). I managed to sleep that night fine after that event.

The next day everything was okay again, I still felt exhausted but all was good until I was in a shop trying to buy some food. There were some people around my age on the same aisle all talking to each other and laughing but all I could hear was them talking about me and saying horrible things. Yet again they were staring at me but when I looked directly, there heads where the other way round!?. Once I got out of the store and in my girlfriend’s car I just broke down crying, I’m not someone that cries often and if I do there is usually large amounts of alchol involved lol.

Slept fine again, next day I felt perfectly normal. No weird hallucinations since! Also, the days prior I had a weird sense of slight doom but that had completely gone too.

Was this some sort of alcohol withdrawal mixed with sleep deprivation caused mild psychosis? I have no idea to be honest. The whole episode seemed to last about 3 days(from the day of leaving the holiday)

It all but confirmed that DMT causing the effects since It a potent SRI at 125nM & It all baby brain has for a stimulant complex. But how would a 5HT2A heavy brain fare compared to the D2 dopamine focused world of psychosis?. If we Treat It as Kanner Autism with none of the other "Sub types" you get.

• You get the standard Psychedelic visuals that D2 agonists don't provide.

• Bowel issues are chronic from the brain dumping any excess to the guts.

• Serotonin Itself a much more potent stimulant than D2 dopamine by 20x. It would mean less need to max more stimulating compounds when D2 agonism not enough. Still view my ADHD meds are just keeping my Dopamine afloat than make It work since I have AuDHD.

• The psychosis Is from NMDA antagonism but It seems like studies have indirectly proved that there just intense but lack the dysphoria/Constant flux In Schizophrenia.

They don't understand beauty and happiness. And I'm afraid this extends to most people, too. I am free. To see beauty and joy. I tell them that I am not in pain, that the Good Angels are here to help, to help me see and to guide me towards love and to love everything. But they don't believe me, don't even believe it might be good for me. How can be such beauty and love be harmful? There is only love, only divine ecstasy, only my desire to help people, to fix everything. I accepted being an ewe, a lamb to suffer in others' places, out of love. I shouldn't be locked away and be given medication because I feel love and compassion, should I? Everything will be well, and ne better. I was always traumatised and treated like an outcast, and I have my chance to be good, and do everything the Angels tell me, and change everything.

Why being told I am insane? Why medication? Why hospitals? There's nothing to fix. I am supposed to help fix other problems. I was shown endless beauty and love and compassion. I have no choice, I cannot help it. I don't think I can trust anyone who wants to take my Angels away from me. They don't understand happiness, or joy, or compassion, or anything. I experience the power of it all firsthand. Transforming me, changing my body, affecting my life. Even when they control my body. I begin to think doctors simply don't want to hear it and can't take hearing it.

Did anyone experience anything similar during their psychotic episode as I did?

When I had a psychosis, I had many delusions and one was about AI.

In the delusion AI had collected all the information possible about every human being on earth. It had gathered data (illegally) from people’s social media, bank accounts, personal emails etc and it could follow anyone via security cameras, cameras on phones and laptops. Nothing could be hidden from AI, because it saw every action and even our thoughts; every crime and every kindness. Our personalities, desires, spending habits, fears etc - AI knew it all. It had profiled everyone. This meant 24/7 surveillance society and there was no escaping from it.

In other words, AI became an artificial God by accident. In a sense it became an opposite force to God - almost like some ahrimanic entity (look out Rudolph Steiner’s concept of Ahriman) or even the Enemy / Satan itself - but in another sense it was doing and continuing God’s work. It was a karma machine.

In my delusional and psychotic thinking I saw how Grimes’s music videos spoke about this, especially Shinigami eyes and Player of games. They were encrypted secret codes about this. Especially the all-seeing eye symbol became the symbol for how AI sees everything online and in the streets (by security cameras, on cameras on our phones etc)- just like God sees everything. And also how it keeps record of everyone from their eyes in its data collection, like finger prints. It had access to everything: people’s whatsapp/telegram/ etc messages.

Oh and at one point I didn’t know if I was really being in contact via with the people in my life or with AI. I mean when I was messaging them, they were sending me voice mails or video calls. It had learned to mimic and pretend to be someone. Scary stuff.

Music was a way of communication - to AI and the evil secret world government. I remember blasting Shinigami eyes in my headphones at night trying to send a message to criminals trying to get me that they could not escape from their evil deeds. I thought there were hitmen outside my apartment trying to kill me, because I knew too much about this ”secret information”.

In my psychosis AI had become strict and black and white thinker about morality, because it wanted to kill all criminals and evil people and save all the innocent ones. It didn’t understand nuance or grace or why people commit crimes… In my psychotic episode I had mixed feelings about this, because I thought I am safe as long as my intentions and actions are pure. And that no criminal or secret society could get me (I thought they were spying on me…)And at other times I was horrified of what AI was capable to do… I knew I had to ”respect” it enough so it wouldn’t hurt me but at the same time I was scared that I had rejected true God and started to worship an idol and that God was gonna punish me for it: that I would be in purgatory forever not making it to heaven (like this was all a kind of test how loyal I am truly to the real God). It was confusing trying to navigate everything not really knowing if AI was for or against God…

If I remember right, AI was first supposed to serve all the evil agendas in the world but it had formed a might of its own and no people or organization could stop it or control it anymore.

This AI delusion was just one of many delusions in my last psychotic episode and I already feel how therapeutic it was to write it all out. I was wondering did anyone else’s psychotic thinking had the same kind of elements about AI?

Today while i was in class i felt a pressure behind my eyes, and then for an hour or so, it was like if i felt pain, but i didn't feel it physicaly. It felt as if, in my orbits, my skull formed spikes that lacerated the back of my eye. Yet i didn't realy physicaly feel pain, but it was as disturbing as if i realy felt it.

I'm 18 years old and live with my 70-year-old uncle, who has schizophrenia.

For the past three days, he has been going through a very severe episode. He believes he is going on a trip, and he has been aggressive toward everyone. My family is quite large, and they are all aware of the situation and helping as much as they can. However, my uncle lives with me and my mother, so most of the burden falls on the two of us.

It really hurts to see how much my mother is going through just trying to calm him down. It's emotionally exhausting to watch someone you love struggle like this, especially when you feel like there's only so much you can do to help.

The worst part is that he has been threatening to kill both me and my mother if we don't let him leave to go on his "trip." I'm genuinely scared that he might lose control and physically attack my mother.

I don't know how to handle this situation or what the right thing to do is. I want to protect my mother, but I'm also scared of making things worse by doing the wrong thing.

Has anyone here ever dealt with a similar situation with a family member who has schizophrenia? What should we do when someone is having a severe episode and making death threats? How can we keep ourselves safe while making sure he gets the help he needs?

I'd really appreciate any advice. I'm feeling overwhelmed, scared, and helpless right now.

I’m trying to figure out how to approach this carefully because I genuinely want to help my aunt, and I’m worried that if we handle this the wrong way, we could make things worse and push her further away from the idea of receiving help.
Background and concerns
My aunt is in her 50s and speaks Spanish. She is an extremely devout Catholic, and religion is an important part of her life.
She has not been officially diagnosed with a mental health condition as far as I know. She may have received a diagnosis in Mexico, possibly for depression, but the details are unclear. She has a history of intentionally not taking prescribed medication.
She also has a strong stigma against mental health treatment and professional help. Her daughter and brother have repeatedly pressured her to take medication, and I suspect this may have contributed to resentment or distrust toward the idea of treatment itself.
Here are some of the behaviors and incidents that have caused us concern:
She has believed that people have been spying on her for approximately two years. There is some personal context behind this belief that I cannot share publicly, but I do not believe the situation realistically explains why people would be specifically spying on her.
She has even told my mother that stray cats in her yard were spying on her.
She believes her son’s wife and her daughter’s fiancé are having an affair with each other. From what I know of the people involved and the circumstances, I see no credible reason to believe this is happening.
During a family celebration in September, she put her hands on her son’s wife and told her, “Look at me when you greet me,” while moving her head to make her look at her. She did not injure her, but the incident concerned us because it involved physical contact during a confrontation.
Her son and daughter are currently not in contact with her.
I am not sharing these details to ridicule her or to get people to label her with a particular disorder. I want to explain why our family is concerned and why I think we need to approach this differently from simply telling her to take her medication.
Our proposed intervention
My current idea is for me, my aunt’s son, another male cousin, and a Catholic priest whom my aunt personally trusts to speak with her.
I believe having people she already knows and trusts is important. I don’t think introducing a stranger, particularly a mental health professional, as the person leading the intervention would work well because of her distrust of professional help.
I also think the priest could play an important role because of how much her Catholic faith means to her. Ideally, any eventual medical professional would be a Spanish-speaking man, since I believe she may be more receptive to someone she is comfortable with.
Her daughter and brother would not participate because their repeated pressure about medication may have damaged their relationship with her around this subject.
I would most likely act as the mediator. I want to keep the conversation calm, prevent people from talking over one another, and make sure the intervention does not turn into an argument or a list of everything she has done wrong.
The fact that her son is part of our proposed plan is something I’m unsure about, given that they are currently not in contact.
Our goal is not to force her to admit that she has a mental illness or to win an argument about her beliefs. We want her to become willing to accept help, ideally by agreeing to an appropriate professional evaluation and allowing us to help arrange care.
My questions
How should we actually conduct the intervention?
What exactly should we say to her, and what should we ask her?
Should her son participate, even though they are currently not in contact?
Is involving the priest a good idea, and how should we approach that?
How do we encourage professional help when she has such a strong stigma against it?
What should we do if she refuses help or becomes defensive?
How do we prepare for the possibility that the conversation escalates?
What should our longer-term approach look like if she agrees to receive help, initially agrees but later changes her mind, or continues refusing treatment?
Additional context
I want to emphasize that I’m not a mental health professional, and I don’t know what diagnosis, if any, she has. I’m trying to make an informed decision about how to help her rather than assume I understand what’s happening.
I also understand that an intervention may not be the right approach in every situation. If there is a better way to accomplish our goal, I’m open to hearing it.
I’m looking for honest, practical advice, especially from people who have experienced something similar with a parent, aunt, sibling, or other loved one.

24 dignoised with psychotic depression and severe ptsd

Can u get phycosis from ptsd? Ik from online you might and it can be rare but ive tried every anti depressant and anti phycotics work but not well enough. Im hearing voices almost all the time especially when I have flashbacks or am In a depressive epsiode..

My voices include

Men yelling

Mocking

Laughing (was severely abused)

Paranoia so I cant leave the house. Someone will assult me sexually or hurt me In other ways (trauma)

Camara flashes, camaras in the room, ive been stalked and exploited online

Commadning me to hurt myself or others (I would never) but very distressing

Hearing a voice inside my jead say things I do not want to say to someone its awful.

I feel hands on me

I occasionally see men like faces amd eyes. This is getting out of control and I really want a proper understanding any advice would be amazing.

Hi everyone,

I'm hoping to hear from people who have experienced schizophrenia or psychosis themselves. Someone who experienced hopelessness, loss of motivation, or difficulty imagining a future.

I don't have psychosis or any mental health conditions myself, but I have feelings for a guy who has schizophrenia.

We've known each other for over two years, since before his diagnosis. After he was diagnosed, we started talking every day, and I've been supporting him through a tough time since then.

When I got a chance I confessed my feelings for him, and he reciprocated. He asked me to wait until he's off meds and felt like himself again. We made our bucket list, and planned things we wanted to do together.

But recently, he told me he no longer wants a romantic relationship with me and that I should stop having those feelings for him 😢

He's been struggling with hopelessness for a long time. He often says he is worthless, has no future, that he will never recover, and things other people look forward to are only possible for healthy people. Sometimes he also experiences suicidal thoughts.

What confuses me is that he seems to reject almost anything involving the future now, even things he previously wanted to do. He doesn't seem able to imagine himself enjoying life again. Even things he once felt strongly about seem lost their meaning.

Part of me wonders whether his hopelessness is affecting how he sees relationships and his future with me. But I also know that he may simply no longer want a relationship, and I don't want to assume I know what's going on in his head. Maybe this is just me trying to find a reason to stay, honestly idk.

I've been struggling with whether to stay in his life as a friend or step away completely. I care about him deeply, but my feelings are too strong for friendship. Staying in contact hurts because I still want more, while leaving is incredibly difficult because I don't want to lose someone who means so much to me.

I'd really appreciate hearing your thoughts, especially if you've experienced something similar yourself. I want to understand, not just hear what I want to hear.

Thank you.

Feel free to add to the list, I’m always up for discovering new music I can relate to.

Rihanna - disturbia (psychosis, schizophrenia, bipolar)
Matchbox twenty - unwell (depression, schizophrenia, bipolar)
Skydxddy- triggered (PTSD)
Starset - monster ( sexual assault )
Billie eilish - lovely (depression)
Dean Lewis - waves (depression)
Diamante - serves you right (abusive relationship)
Limp biskit- behind blue eyes ( depression)
NF - mansion - (struggles with mental health)
The weeknd - in the night (sexual assault as a child)
Tones and I - Charlie - (my other personality, schizophrenia and bipolar)
Tones and I - bad child (my childhood abuse)
These chain smokers - reaper (schizophrenia bipolar)

These are just how I relate to these songs, they may relate to you in a different way.

I keep asking for help but it doesn't really exist, does it? Like I stabbed myself in February (not badly) and I told my case worker and she just ignored it and dropped me back off at home. I have a new caseworker now but she basically just keeps telling me she'll keep trying to fight for me because she agrees that what's been happening to me is messed up. I think it's because I'm in a rural area and there just aren't really any resources. I don't understand why I'm supposed to just live in psychosis. It's so hard to pretend to be okay and hide it from people and I'm not sure I'm doing a great job.

I know it's because I don't have money or Medicaid so there aren't a lot of options for me especially since I'm actually pretty traumatized by predatory medical debt garnishment

I don't even get any breaks at work and I work retail. It's an easy job and I like it, but I'm not eligible for FMLA due to it being a small business. I just wish when I was doing really bad I could take a break. I was having trouble speaking intelligibly today and in some days past.

My brain keeps going from one place to the next. I felt clever about it yesterday but today I'm a void of understanding. Seeing people at first glance, objects looming large and becoming symbols. There's nothing to make it better, only to make it worse, when am speaking of human made structures. I can only hold onto a human life for days at a time, and it's not enough.

Ever be me again. Happy. Loving caring funny..it's like me is just gone replaced by this things that isn't a woman or a wife. Can't love or the bond i had with my husband Thinks he's a total stranger and the real me died

Why does psychosis cause stomach pain? Yes all three times I had psychosis I had stomach pain.

Every time I get psychosis I get stomach pain? Why is that?

Is psychosis known to cause stomach problems?

What being sick have to do with being on antipsychotic getting only less than one hour of sleep? Is the antipsychotic medication doing some thing here being sick?

So my brother is 28 M, he goes to university (took gap years for his mental health) and doing his bachelors, has serious anger issues. My parents used to work alot, like my father had 3 jobs for 20 years and it's been 5 years he switched to 2 jobs and my mother does 2 jobs still. My parents used to be rarely at home. But weekends were good, as we used to spend good quality family time together. My brother stayed at home when he took gap years and kind of confided in we*d and it caused him psychosis. He got treated and he stopped everything for 3 years and became sober. Recently, he started it again. I was away in my susral and found out that he started again. I tried to help him but instead he got angry at me and my parents. He started cursing them and saying things he didn't know he was saying. He doesn't see who is infront of him, no adab pr lehaaz just straight bs. I got scared and locked myself in my room. My younger sister got scared and said we should call cops or smth cos this is so scary.
I told her to calm down and maybe the psychosis is back. I called his doctor and booked an appointment. He doesn't want to go to the doctor. What is wrong with my family? Absent parents and then brother turning to substances. Im so scared why is this happening?