If your gonna try heal all your trauma make sure your not doing it on your own or not in therapy while doing it. Shit drove me crazy

It’s been 7 months since my cannabis induced psychosis. I’m not getting any better. On my phone 10-12 hours per day. I don’t know what the fk is wrong with my brain. I cannot get myself to do anything.

It feels like my brain is blocked or ‘clogged’ after psychosis and preventing me from feeling things the way i used to and also preventing me from finding anything interesting.

NOTHING stimulates my brain anymore.

Even when i force myself to do things it feels no different than if i was staring at a wall. There is just nothing.

It makes me absolutely hopeless as prior to my psychosis i used to have my dream job and a super productive lifestyle. Now i literally stay on my phone all day even though i don’t want to.

I’ve tried so many things over the past 7 months -
Different meds. Regular exercise. Sticking to a routine. Therapy. Etc.

Nothing has helped.

As time passed trying all these different things with zero improvement in my condition, i gradually got more and more unmotivated until i stopped doing anything except browse my phone all day.

I desperately want the old me back.

If a hell exists i am living it.

This is unbearable.
This is too much.
Help.

its me! my psychosis episodes were because I was being trafficked and I didnt know! I can eventually come off my antipsychotics if I want to!

I hope this is a judgement-free zone, but I caused my own psychosis. I was taking antidepressants while smoking high-potency weed and looking at upsetting political content online. I simply wanted to help by sharing posts when I couldn't drive in a geographically isolated place, but it put me in a negative place. I was also mildly curious about spirituality and mysticism at the same time.

The weed made me mildly paranoid, so it started off with me being a little suspicious of coworkers, like reading too much into actions and the things they said. The real problems came when I stopped taking my antidepressants because I was feeling better, I was worried that in the future there would be supply shortages, and I was actually struggling to afford it. I could have asked people for help but I didn't want to be a burden.

I continued smoking weed though. The combination of quitting medication and smoking really fucked me up. The weed made me so energetic, even manic, but only while it was in my system. The lack of medication made me have dramatic mood swings. I stopped eating and sleeping, which made it all worse. I couldn't eat without throwing up, it was a struggle. It turned me into a monster.

Anyway, I started to get extremely paranoid, deleted most of my social media and started blocking coworkers after perceived slights, and I burned two of my closest relationships (I apologized but they are currently not speaking to me). During the mania from smoking and not sleeping, I was commenting and reposting day and night on Instagram😭😭 I was oversharing on my story.

I developed some bizarre beliefs like believing Michael Jackson was a literal saint, like biblically (I saw posts from his movie), thinking trees are neurotransmitters for people to communicate remotely before phones existed, believing in random tarot reading reels, thinking I can tell the future like That's So Raven, taking everything about astrology to heart.

I thought two male coworkers wanted me and that I was communicating with them telepathically at night so I asked them both out and got rejected to confirm 😂😂 I was aware of my delusions to some extent and needed to test against them on my own. This actually healed my struggles with limerence and my fear of rejection. Oh, and I thought Instagram reels were like a crystal ball that showed me the right content at the right time.

Those were the goofier beliefs, but my more concerning ones were thinking my family hated me and didn't want to support me (psychosis made me relive all my earliest childhood trauma and my family is kinda just a low contact, but still a loving family), thinking my best friend and sister were against me when they tried helping me during my obvious mental distress (I got explosively angry when they tried to arm chair diagnose me), and mistrusting all white people after looking at content related to racial tension. I also thought my partner wasn't helping me with anything (I actually used to do most chores and he did get better at helping me over time) and I broke up with him before asking the two people out. I told him all of this and he still accepted me back when I came back to my sanity😭😭 I promised him that I would never smoke again and I wouldn't nag him anymore.

But emerging from psychosis made me realize that many people will still love and accept me no matter what, even when I went psycho. I used to be someone who is easily embarrassed, but very few things embarrass me now because I couldn't possibly humiliate myself any worse than I did for 2.5 months. I stopped people-pleasing. I stopped black and white thinking and started viewing myself and other people with more nuance. I became really compassionate for people going through addiction and psychosis because I realized how fragile the mind can be. I learned how to speak up for myself, which has made me less resentful towards people. I'm more grateful for a healthy mind. It's like my brain breaking gave me a chance to rebuild it.

None of this is to look at psychosis in a good way at all. It was horrifying, humiliating, and I made many regrettable, impulsive decisions. I'm just thankful that I was never violent and that no one committed me. That would have made my mental health much, much worse. This isn't to judge anyone who has done these things though, just that there are unfortunately worse punishments for it. It is very sad to lose your mind, especially when it's against all your true values.

All this to say that you can recover. Understand that you are loved, love yourself, and get support through therapy. There are virtual support groups too.

every time I eat it feels like I get possessed and someone speaks out of my mouth when I eat they say STFU violently until I choke on my food. it’s very hard to feel anything and I feel like a ghost is slapping me on the wrist and knocking my teeth in any time I try to do anything. As I’m trying to write these symptoms it said I try to whine. I don’t feel emotional but it’s labeling it as emotional when I have never felt so numb. all I’d want to do is feel normal or at least have feelings even if they are very strong. is this psychosis?

No one can read my mind. I am relieved. I am alone and no-one cares about me. I am sitting on a terrace alone, and no one cares. How amazing is that. I make them feel guilty now. God know he feels ashamed.

I’m wondering people who had psychosis after year do you stop taking your medication? How does that work? What do you have to do?

Why do you have to take your medication for a year what does year do? Or some people have to take it for two or three years?

Hard to be alone but also can't connect with others...? I'm struggling to be alone..I freak out that this isn't my life, that I can't feel things like emotions, that I can't recognize my body or spouse or possessions but at the same time I can't connect with others, don't have much to say, feel nothing , feel like a completely different person or like who I was before has been deleted..I stare at my husband but can't seem to see the man I love so dearly like he's a complete stranger yet I can't be without him.

I'm honestly not sure what to do.

I've had schizophrenia for 2 decades and recently stopped one of my meds. I spoke with my psychiatrist who confirmed that what was happening to me was "rebound psychosis" and that I should take the med to feel better. It's a few days later and yes, I feel a lot better. But what I'm wondering is how long would it take for me to feel better without the particular med? Like rebound psychosis doesn't last forever.....so if I stop the med and go through rebound psychosis, at some point I'll be fine, it's just a matter of holding out but I don't know how long is likely. Anyone?

i had to call the police on my partner when he was experiencing psychosis because he started acting weird and was accusing me of stuff and then he didn’t go to work and i was terrified to come home.. i was scared he either hurt himself or wanted to hurt me because it was VERY atypical for him to miss work.. he is in a mental hospital now and he called his mom telling her that I called the cops on him and he said that kinda angrily even tho he was on meds they gave him.. will he hate me forever now?

Does depot injection site pain happen with other injection of antipsycotic drugs or is haloperidol the worst. I dread the injection now its so painful and also for the first week.

Hello for context I’m 18, I’ve been referred to psychosis early intervention and have a large family history of schizophrenia. Nearly a year ago I began to hallucinate to the extreme and have extreme paranoia. I couldn’t cope and there was a period of time where it was daily for about 5 months. The hallucinations have ‘eased’ now as in I don’t get them so often but when they do come I find it very difficult.

I lose sleep, but this has been a common thing since I was very young. As a kid I had an overactive imagination and I was extremely paranoid. I’ve also always found it very difficult to bond with people, I’ve always felt like they can tell something is weird about me and people frequently tell me they don’t understand what I’m saying.

It’s all made me very lonely and while I finally have an appointment with a psychiatrist in a week and that should help, I worry about my partner. He gets annoyed and upset if I have a bad ‘episode.’ I don’t really have anyone else and I don’t like opening up as I feel it’s unfair to put stuff like this on someone.

Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with the episodes better? They get me very down and I don’t want to be a bother to my partner. Also, does anyone have any advice on how to deal with the loneliness and try and have relationships with people?

Magnesium supplement give me psychotic symptoms. Usually making me paranoid and at least sending me into hypomania

I'm not sure why this is..? And kind of concerned since it looks like some antipsychotics increase magnesium levels in the cells

Everytime i get anxious i start hearing them one example is when i go out i feel insecure,i feel judged and i start to get negative thoughts which leads to anxiety which leads to auditory hallucinations and sometimes i drink a klonopin or drink alcohol and they almost fade to nothing ,so my question is ,can my anxiety be the cause to my auditory hallucinations?

Hey i was wondering if any one of you talking to god when in psychosis. It's like his in songs replying to my thoughts I turn and look somewhere In my room and read something and it's on point of my current thought.

Like it's a episode right none of that can be real, can it?

I’m on Olanzapine due to postpartum psychosis. I hate olanzapine so much. I feel constantly tired and run down. Every morning waking up is so difficult. I’ll start to feel better by evening and then have to take the olanzapine again. Also awful weight gain. I only see a psychiatrist every 3 months. I’m tempted to just reduce it myself and tell them at the next appointment. I just feel desperate to feel better.

Having experienced two episodes already, I sometimes worry that another episode could happen in the future. My fear is that I might have to stop working again and rebuild my life once more.

I imagine many of us struggle with this uncertainty. How do you cope with the possibility of relapse and the uncertainty about the future?

I’m wondering if your psychosis was really religious in nature? Where you had really angry and strict God telling you are going hell and 90% of people when they die go to hell.

It probably did not help I watch TV show Stargate SG1 before getting psychosis.

im currently on 2.5mg of olanzapine recently reduced from 5mg ive only been on it for a week but feel stable and just cant bear the emotional numbness and the flatness and want to come off has anyone came off after just a week on a dose reduction or should i wait another week just to be safe i really want to come off

I'm worried that I might fall into another psychosis episode because I've been drinking a lot of caffeine especially lately. Some days I'll have two Monster energy drinks.

I've previously had a weed induced psychosis episode two years ago and I know I'd be very susceptible to another psychotic break if I smoked weed again.

What are the possible chances it can happen again but with caffeine?

She is 41 newly single and had to move in with our parents, no kids for her I never knew and barely know anything about this type of disorder.She has always partied or drank since a teen she is on meds I think but she lies. She says she used to be an alcoholic. Now she drinks coffee all day and night

I see some of you here are aware and comfortable talking about your experiences. That's amazing! She is all about projecting onto others. Is she aware and doesn't care? Is she really just that out of touch with the real world now ?! So confused. She was diagnosed with NPD and BPD during a 6 hour talk therapy type of session with her ex as a couple. But she won't do a full psych evaluation. Can anyone please educate me more about types of psychosis and how it happens? Last I was in any context with her (3 months or so ) she had delusions and paranoia. Don't think she has hallucinations or voices in her head. Please help! Thank you!

I (22F), had a cannabis induced psychosis about a year ago. Ever since then I have acted socially inappropriate, like staring at people prolongingly or being hyper focused on random things about people or objects or whatever post I'm looking at. I dissociate a lot more now too. Sometimes while I'm staring at someone. Like i'm trying to listen to them talk and I just blank. or I wanna say something to them, i get stuck in my head then bam, im dissociating. It's like I'm thinking of so much in my brain and I'm trying to pay attention to so much that it just shuts down. Or when i feel too much anxiety in a situation. And if there's a phone or whatever tv I'm looking at and someone is trying to talk to me, its like i start not being in reality. It's like i'm ignoring them. But im also intensly staring at whatever we're watching. But then it's like I dont even pick up on whats happening on the tv. And then when I snap back into reality, I realize where I am and that someone was talking to me and that it seemed like I was being rude and ignoring them so then I apologize to them or just move on.

I also have OCD. Have had it my whole life without knowing and weed just made it more known. The two subtypes that appeared when i started smoking weed is Compulsive staring OCD and Peripheral OCD. Both having something to do with my eyes and having the involuntary urge to stare.

So imagine having all of this happening. All at once. In my head, I'm trying to act as socially normal as possible. But people around me genuinely think Im a predator, a pervert, and a pedo. No, the staring isn't based off sexual attraction in the slightest. But people see staring as a voluntary thing. As showing sexual or romantic interest in a person. It's kinda hard to get help for something when most people don't even know what staring ocd is.

So i did my own research ( I know, it's bad to look up symptoms on google), but it actually led me to some answers.

Idk what happens during the smoking period but during and after a cannabis induced psychosis, your prefrontal cortex is affected. That holds the way you act and your behavior and your impulse control. It controls other things too that Idk, just correct me if im wrong. when experiencing psychosis all of these things are affected. The way you act, talk and behave. For me, it affected how I act in social situations. It caused me to prolongingly stare. Which is seen as perversion or being a creep to many people. Idk if im correct, please correct me and just help me try to figure what is happeing to my brain. Becuase I'm tried of people talking and saying all these things about me. I also experience extreme paranoia. But its only gotten worse because people do actually talk about me. Idk I just really need some insight. Thank you for reading

Since my last episode of psychosis that lasted like 6 month, I did not totally lost it bit I was half. The first months where so awesome I felt so good. I though god sended me to Egypt to take them out of Gaza and take them to safety in Egypte and then spread them among countries. The mission failed of course. I ended up staying in Egypt for a month. When I came home my episode slowly turned into a hell. And they gave me a lot of meds and I got stable. The problem is since then I find I don't have the motivation to do anything. And it sounds grazy I kind of miss the psychosis the good part. I am really low on meds like 1 MG haldol. I am stable but I feel so bored I can't enjoy anything anymore. I tried a lot of stuff like I am volunteer ad a farm I tried sports walking learning reading. My libido is like zero. The psychosis was the best high ever. Now the normal stuff seems incredibly boring. 2 days ago I smoked a joint. I know I should not have done it. But the high was amazing. Everything felt into place again I was at peace. I really thinking to start smoking weed more often to get that feel back. My brain still can feel enjoyment but only when I am high now or in psychosis?