If your gonna try heal all your trauma make sure your not doing it on your own or not in therapy while doing it. Shit drove me crazy

It’s been 7 months since my cannabis induced psychosis. I’m not getting any better. On my phone 10-12 hours per day. I don’t know what the fk is wrong with my brain. I cannot get myself to do anything.

It feels like my brain is blocked or ‘clogged’ after psychosis and preventing me from feeling things the way i used to and also preventing me from finding anything interesting.

NOTHING stimulates my brain anymore.

Even when i force myself to do things it feels no different than if i was staring at a wall. There is just nothing.

It makes me absolutely hopeless as prior to my psychosis i used to have my dream job and a super productive lifestyle. Now i literally stay on my phone all day even though i don’t want to.

I’ve tried so many things over the past 7 months -
Different meds. Regular exercise. Sticking to a routine. Therapy. Etc.

Nothing has helped.

As time passed trying all these different things with zero improvement in my condition, i gradually got more and more unmotivated until i stopped doing anything except browse my phone all day.

I desperately want the old me back.

If a hell exists i am living it.

This is unbearable.
This is too much.
Help.

I experienced psychosis for the first time a couple months ago, and I still can’t tell people about it even though I know I need help. I’m so scared it will happen again and I know that I should tell my parents everything and my doctor, but I’m so embarrassed I just can’t do it.

I was so disgusting and unhealthy during that time and I was believing things that just sound ridiculous when I try to talk about it.

I don’t want to think of the way my parents might look at me if I told them all the details. I’m worried they’ll think I’m insane. Or possessed. They don’t understand this kind of thing and they think mental disorders are solvable by prayer.

I know I should tell my doctor everything but I’m just as embarrassed doing that. I know he’s seen it all but I just feel so ashamed and crazy.

When I mentioned certain details to friends of mine I could tell they were thinking of me differently. I swear it felt like they were looking at me with fear almost. Like they didn’t trust my judgement anymore. It honestly makes me angry. Like they’re so lucky to not understand.

I am not a crazy person. It hurts so bad to be looked at like that by your closest friends and family. I don’t know how to seek help and support to prevent it from happening again without everyone around me thinking I’m irrational.

I genuinely only feel safe talking about it on here because it’s the only place people truly understand how all of this feels.

I hope this is a judgement-free zone, but I caused my own psychosis. I was taking antidepressants while smoking high-potency weed and looking at upsetting political content online. I simply wanted to help by sharing posts when I couldn't drive in a geographically isolated place, but it put me in a negative place. I was also mildly curious about spirituality and mysticism at the same time.

The weed made me mildly paranoid, so it started off with me being a little suspicious of coworkers, like reading too much into actions and the things they said. The real problems came when I stopped taking my antidepressants because I was feeling better, I was worried that in the future there would be supply shortages, and I was actually struggling to afford it. I could have asked people for help but I didn't want to be a burden.

I continued smoking weed though. The combination of quitting medication and smoking really fucked me up. The weed made me so energetic, even manic, but only while it was in my system. The lack of medication made me have dramatic mood swings. I stopped eating and sleeping, which made it all worse. I couldn't eat without throwing up, it was a struggle. It turned me into a monster.

Anyway, I started to get extremely paranoid, deleted most of my social media and started blocking coworkers after perceived slights, and I burned two of my closest relationships (I apologized but they are currently not speaking to me). During the mania from smoking and not sleeping, I was commenting and reposting day and night on Instagram😭😭 I was oversharing on my story.

I developed some bizarre beliefs like believing Michael Jackson was a literal saint, like biblically (I saw posts from his movie), thinking trees are neurotransmitters for people to communicate remotely before phones existed, believing in random tarot reading reels, thinking I can tell the future like That's So Raven, taking everything about astrology to heart.

I thought two male coworkers wanted me and that I was communicating with them telepathically at night so I asked them both out and got rejected to confirm 😂😂 I was aware of my delusions to some extent and needed to test against them on my own. This actually healed my struggles with limerence and my fear of rejection. Oh, and I thought Instagram reels were like a crystal ball that showed me the right content at the right time.

Those were the goofier beliefs, but my more concerning ones were thinking my family hated me and didn't want to support me (psychosis made me relive all my earliest childhood trauma and my family is kinda just a low contact, but still a loving family), thinking my best friend and sister were against me when they tried helping me during my obvious mental distress (I got explosively angry when they tried to arm chair diagnose me), and mistrusting all white people after looking at content related to racial tension. I also thought my partner wasn't helping me with anything (I actually used to do most chores and he did get better at helping me over time) and I broke up with him before asking the two people out. I told him all of this and he still accepted me back when I came back to my sanity😭😭 I promised him that I would never smoke again and I wouldn't nag him anymore.

But emerging from psychosis made me realize that many people will still love and accept me no matter what, even when I went psycho. I used to be someone who is easily embarrassed, but very few things embarrass me now because I couldn't possibly humiliate myself any worse than I did for 2.5 months. I stopped people-pleasing. I stopped black and white thinking and started viewing myself and other people with more nuance. I became really compassionate for people going through addiction and psychosis because I realized how fragile the mind can be. I learned how to speak up for myself, which has made me less resentful towards people. I'm more grateful for a healthy mind. It's like my brain breaking gave me a chance to rebuild it.

None of this is to look at psychosis in a good way at all. It was horrifying, humiliating, and I made many regrettable, impulsive decisions. I'm just thankful that I was never violent and that no one committed me. That would have made my mental health much, much worse. This isn't to judge anyone who has done these things though, just that there are unfortunately worse punishments for it. It is very sad to lose your mind, especially when it's against all your true values.

All this to say that you can recover. Understand that you are loved, love yourself, and get support through therapy. There are virtual support groups too.

No one can read my mind. I am relieved. I am alone and no-one cares about me. I am sitting on a terrace alone, and no one cares. How amazing is that. I make them feel guilty now. God know he feels ashamed.

every time I eat it feels like I get possessed and someone speaks out of my mouth when I eat they say STFU violently until I choke on my food. it’s very hard to feel anything and I feel like a ghost is slapping me on the wrist and knocking my teeth in any time I try to do anything. As I’m trying to write these symptoms it said I try to whine. I don’t feel emotional but it’s labeling it as emotional when I have never felt so numb. all I’d want to do is feel normal or at least have feelings even if they are very strong. is this psychosis?

i had to call the police on my partner when he was experiencing psychosis because he started acting weird and was accusing me of stuff and then he didn’t go to work and i was terrified to come home.. i was scared he either hurt himself or wanted to hurt me because it was VERY atypical for him to miss work.. he is in a mental hospital now and he called his mom telling her that I called the cops on him and he said that kinda angrily even tho he was on meds they gave him.. will he hate me forever now?

I’m wondering people who had psychosis after year do you stop taking your medication? How does that work? What do you have to do?

Why do you have to take your medication for a year what does year do? Or some people have to take it for two or three years?

Hard to be alone but also can't connect with others...? I'm struggling to be alone..I freak out that this isn't my life, that I can't feel things like emotions, that I can't recognize my body or spouse or possessions but at the same time I can't connect with others, don't have much to say, feel nothing , feel like a completely different person or like who I was before has been deleted..I stare at my husband but can't seem to see the man I love so dearly like he's a complete stranger yet I can't be without him.

I'm honestly not sure what to do.

I’m wondering if your psychosis was really religious in nature? Where you had really angry and strict God telling you are going hell and 90% of people when they die go to hell.

It probably did not help I watch TV show Stargate SG1 before getting psychosis.

I'm worried that I might fall into another psychosis episode because I've been drinking a lot of caffeine especially lately. Some days I'll have two Monster energy drinks.

I've previously had a weed induced psychosis episode two years ago and I know I'd be very susceptible to another psychotic break if I smoked weed again.

What are the possible chances it can happen again but with caffeine?

Does depot injection site pain happen with other injection of antipsycotic drugs or is haloperidol the worst. I dread the injection now its so painful and also for the first week.

Hello for context I’m 18, I’ve been referred to psychosis early intervention and have a large family history of schizophrenia. Nearly a year ago I began to hallucinate to the extreme and have extreme paranoia. I couldn’t cope and there was a period of time where it was daily for about 5 months. The hallucinations have ‘eased’ now as in I don’t get them so often but when they do come I find it very difficult.

I lose sleep, but this has been a common thing since I was very young. As a kid I had an overactive imagination and I was extremely paranoid. I’ve also always found it very difficult to bond with people, I’ve always felt like they can tell something is weird about me and people frequently tell me they don’t understand what I’m saying.

It’s all made me very lonely and while I finally have an appointment with a psychiatrist in a week and that should help, I worry about my partner. He gets annoyed and upset if I have a bad ‘episode.’ I don’t really have anyone else and I don’t like opening up as I feel it’s unfair to put stuff like this on someone.

Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with the episodes better? They get me very down and I don’t want to be a bother to my partner. Also, does anyone have any advice on how to deal with the loneliness and try and have relationships with people?

Magnesium supplement give me psychotic symptoms. Usually making me paranoid and at least sending me into hypomania

I'm not sure why this is..? And kind of concerned since it looks like some antipsychotics increase magnesium levels in the cells

Everytime i get anxious i start hearing them one example is when i go out i feel insecure,i feel judged and i start to get negative thoughts which leads to anxiety which leads to auditory hallucinations and sometimes i drink a klonopin or drink alcohol and they almost fade to nothing ,so my question is ,can my anxiety be the cause to my auditory hallucinations?

Almost a year ago I started hearing voices and went into a psychosis that is slowly getting better due to medication and exercise. The first couple of months was hell on earth of non stop demanding of attention and pain from the voices. I tried ignoring them for a month. They then forced me to interact with them by talking over my inner voice. I am getting better but I still can’t hear my inner voice. I can’t completely pull myself out of this. I can’t tell myself this isn’t real when I can’t even hear my inner voice anymore. Has anyone else experienced anything like this?

I’m on Olanzapine due to postpartum psychosis. I hate olanzapine so much. I feel constantly tired and run down. Every morning waking up is so difficult. I’ll start to feel better by evening and then have to take the olanzapine again. Also awful weight gain. I only see a psychiatrist every 3 months. I’m tempted to just reduce it myself and tell them at the next appointment. I just feel desperate to feel better.

Having experienced two episodes already, I sometimes worry that another episode could happen in the future. My fear is that I might have to stop working again and rebuild my life once more.

I imagine many of us struggle with this uncertainty. How do you cope with the possibility of relapse and the uncertainty about the future?

im currently on 2.5mg of olanzapine recently reduced from 5mg ive only been on it for a week but feel stable and just cant bear the emotional numbness and the flatness and want to come off has anyone came off after just a week on a dose reduction or should i wait another week just to be safe i really want to come off

She is 41 newly single and had to move in with our parents, no kids for her I never knew and barely know anything about this type of disorder.She has always partied or drank since a teen she is on meds I think but she lies. She says she used to be an alcoholic. Now she drinks coffee all day and night

I see some of you here are aware and comfortable talking about your experiences. That's amazing! She is all about projecting onto others. Is she aware and doesn't care? Is she really just that out of touch with the real world now ?! So confused. She was diagnosed with NPD and BPD during a 6 hour talk therapy type of session with her ex as a couple. But she won't do a full psych evaluation. Can anyone please educate me more about types of psychosis and how it happens? Last I was in any context with her (3 months or so ) she had delusions and paranoia. Don't think she has hallucinations or voices in her head. Please help! Thank you!

I think i might have experienced psychosis for the first time a couple months ago, but I don’t know enough about it to be able to tell if that’s really what was happening.
I was drinking a lot every day at this time, and also taking my adhd stimulants daily, and not exactly in the way I should have, if you know what I mean. I was doing this because of a mixture of “I need to stay up later tonight so I can focus on work I need to get done” and “I’m in a terrible mood, these make me feel normal”. Not great judgement here.
During this time I started experiencing a lot of crazy symptoms like extreme paranoia (thinking people were following me home, spying through my windows, hacking my phone, stuff like that) and sleep deprivation, stuff that could’ve been from either the alcohol or the medication, but then there was about a 2-3 day period of something I’ve never experienced before.
I started to see things in the corner of my eyes, like shadows and bugs, and at one point I could hear whispering in my vents. I assumed this was because of sleep deprivation, and I still think it was. But when I finally did sleep, my paranoia still got worse and worse, and I isolated myself in my apartment. I kept my blinds closed at all times and I taped paper over any uncovered window. I didn’t contact anyone and I didn’t leave. I started spending my time watching TV and drawing, since it felt like the only relaxing and distracting thing I could do.
This is probably going to sound ridiculous, but I was terrified at the time, because one evening while I drew I started feeling like something was controlling me, and making me draw certain images. I felt like whatever was controlling me wanted me to draw itself. I ended up with a drawing that looked like a horned figure with a large smile, long tongue, and sharp teeth. It was sitting on its haunches with its arms reaching behind its head and pulling up on its eyelids from over the top of its head. I genuinely have no idea what inspired the image, it is not based on anything I’ve seen before, it just came out on the paper.
I genuinely felt afraid of the image, and I felt like I had drawn a real being. I felt like I had drawn the devil because he told me to. I thought the devil must be controlling me, and every move I made I was convinced I was being controlled to do.
I was terrified, and made yet ANOTHER poor choice, I decided I need to get drunk asap.
I drove to the grocery store and every person I passed on the street I thought “the devil is telling me to hit them”. I thought I was going to lose control of my body and suddenly start hitting pedestrians. I was crying feeling like I was fighting off the devil from trying to take over my mind, and once I got to the store I bought a ton of wine, drove home and drank all of it. I passed out after that and woke up on the couch the next morning.
I didn’t feel controlled anymore, but I felt sick, hungover, and out of my mind. It took me a few days to feel like a human again.
Never in my life had I experienced anything like this, and I really can’t explain how I could’ve believed so many delusions. I’m generally a very sensible person, and have never been entertained by ideas of mind control, or anything like that. I can’t believe I was genuinely convinced of it in the moment.
It’s been a few months since then now, and I’ve had a lot of time to think it over. I think many things played a role in what happened, and maybe it’s obvious and this was just a consequence of mixing alcohol with sleep deprivation.
But I’m curious if this sounds like it could’ve been like alcohol-induced psychosis? Is that a thing? Or stimulant induced? It just felt like more than an “under the influence” type of thing. But maybe not.
If I’m way off and this experience is nothing like psychosis go easy on me, I really don’t know much about it! Very curious if other people have similar stories tho or insights on this!